Ch1

It was agony. Sheer, body consuming agony. Flashes of hot and cold overtaking my body,an endless internal battle.

I wanted to die; die as I ran. I never stopped running. I needed to die. I was not human, nor was I truely anything else.

Not human, not living, but yet not completely dead. But that was a problem that I soon wanted to fix. I would die. I

would die becuase I am an abomination. Everything I am and everything I could ever be is wrong. I would kill

people...I know I would. I wouldn't be able to stop myself. I'm so hungry as it is...it would be only a matter of time

before innocent people were killed by my hands.

I would find Sam Uley, he wouldn't allow me to live. I had heard only his voice; his thoughts in my head. I knew he

would hate me and would want to kill me on site alone. He would make it quick, and I would not fight back. I can't

say that I'm not afraid of death, but I want it to come. I want this to end. Sam will be mericful to an abomination

in pain.

I stopped running, letting the night air drift through my nose. He was close, really close. I thought

out to him seductively,' Here Sam, here I e and get me.Here I stand.' He will come, I know he will. An

abomonation is not wanted in this world nor is it needed. He will end me, he will kill me. And I will be forever

thankful. Hopefuly my family and my God will forgive me too for wanting my own death so badly.

I sat down on my haunchs, waiting. Sam would come. Yes, I am sure he will.

The night seemed to draw on as I waited. I didn't dare seek out for Sam's thoughts while I waited, in case I would

see in his mind that he wasn't coming and that my agony would have to continue for another day more. But I have a

second plan for my death if all else fails. If Sam will not come, or if he refuses to kill me, I will go to the ones that Sam

thinks about quiet often,the Volturie.They would draw out my death, most likely torture me, but I will bear that pain

if I must. If the Volturie will kill me, then any pain they cause me will be very much worth it.

The hairs on the nape of my neck stood on end, but I did not send up any warning call. In fact,Sam's presence

made me smile. I could feel his presence, although I could not yet see him.He had come to me, my life would soon

end. I closed my eyes in a silent pleasure and breathed in what I hoped was one of my last breaths.

From the trees right in front of me came Sam, fur black as night, eyes focused intently on me. He could not smell me,

he couldn't sense me, he could barely hear my thoughts, I was a stranger and a complete mystery to him.

He would not let me live.

' Don't worry,we're alone.' I thought, staring into Sam's coal black eyes.

Sam's glare became more intense every moment that he stared into my face.

' Who are you?' his guttural voice asked.

' Who I am does not matter.' I stated formally ' What I am is all that matters.'

Sam's eyes narrowed in confusion. He stepped tentatively towards me, yet he stayed far enough away so that I was

no danger to him. He began circling me, making a twenty foot prerimeter around me. I rolled my eyes at Sam's caution.

Of all the people in the world, he had reason to fear me the least. Or the most actually, if he angered me.

' Sam, cut that circling crap out, I have no intention of harming you or your pack. I'm here simply for a favor,' I said,trying

to keep my voice as calm as possible.

Sam kept circling, sizeing me up from head to toe. He sniffed the air, and I could tell from the expression on his face that

he was worried.

' What kind of favor may I ask? ' Sam asked sternly, still circling me.

I let out a sigh. This was it, sixteen years of feeling, of seeing, of knowing, would end, and I couldn't have been happier or

asked for a truer blessing.

' I want you to kill me.'

Sam stopped circling, standing stock still. His body became tense, watching me from where he stood five feet away.Thoughts

raced across his mind, but I could hear not a word of them.

' You want me to kill you? ' he asked.

' Yes.'

Ever so slowly, Sam closed the distance between himself and me. He came to stand in front of me, eye to eye, mere inches

seperating our noses.

No look of understanding crossed his face, nor a look of pity, just smooth calmness.

' Why?' he asked too calmly, ' Why would you want to die,and better yet, why would you want me to kill you? Are you in a

tight spot or done anything wrong because if so, death...'

' Oh no, no,' I said, shaking my shaggy head,' Nothing like that...although, you could say I'm in a very tight spot and that I've

done something very very wrong.'

Sam's black brow furrowed. ' And what would that be? '

I stared Sam in the eyes, my eyes starting to tear up.

' I've done the worst thing I could ever do...I've let myself live this long. I'm an abomination to nature, I should never have

been born. Being born is what I have done wrong.It's the worst thing I could ever have done."

Sam bristled at this. The hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. A low growl escaped him.

' You are not an abomination! You SHOULD have been born ! You are a werewolf, not some stupid, bloodthirsty monster

from a crappy horror film ! ' Sam growled menacingly at me.

' BUT I'M NOT A WEREWOLF! I'M NOT! ' I cried, tears now streaming freely down my cheeks. ' THAT'S WHY YOU'VE

GOT TO KILL ME! I'M NOT ONE OF YOU ! I'M NOT ANYTHING ! I DON'T BELONG! '

' YOU ARE A WEREWOLF GODDAMNIT! LOOK AT YOU, HOW COULD YOU NOT BE? ' Sam screamed at me, baring

his teeth, snarling. ' YOU ARE RIDICULOUS ! YOU'RE A WEREWOLF, NOT SOME KIND OF...OF...MONSTER! IT 'S

NOT EVEN LIKE YOU'RE SOME STUPID BLOODSUCKER ! YOU'RE A WEREWOLF! '

' BUT I AM,' I sobbed, ' I AM A BLOODSUCKER! I AM ! '

Sam stopped snarling at me. He backed away, cocked his head to the side, and smirked. His smile made a fresh

bout of tears stream down my cheeks.

' Ok, ok. Am I being Punk'd ? Where's Ashton? ' Sam smiled, looking from one tree to the next as if he expected to see

Ashton Kutcher behind one of them.

I let out a sob. I shook my head violently from side to side, weeping, the agonizing pain growing in my chest. My will to

die was greater than it had ever been, I wanted to rip myself to shreads just so I wouldn't have to look at Sam's sneering

face.

' Cut it out, you've had your fun.' Sam chuckled, not believing my furious tears.' Where are you from anyways? I didn't

think there were any other werewolves in the world. I could be wrong I suppose. I mean, some other Native American

tribe could've had almost the same situation happen to them as we Quileutes did. Or maybe you are a Quileute

somehow, although you don't even look distinctly Native American. None of the old stories tell about a family

leaving La Push either,but I guess some old story could've slipped through the cracks of time...'

' No...no,' I cryed, becoming frantic. Sam wasn't understading anything I was saying, he isn't grasping the situation.

He has to kill me. He has to. He's being such a fool. ' You don't understand ! I'm like you, but yet I'm not. I'm a

bloodsucker. I'm one of the damned! Please kill me, end this torture.'

Sam rolled his eyes at me and groaned. ' I've had enough of this. I don't know what kind of loco wolf you are, but if

you're not off La Push territory by morning me and my pack will chace you off.'

Sam turned to leave. No, no, no, he can't...he just can't leave. I won't let him, I WON'T!

' Fine,' I cryed, ' I'll prove it too you.'

And in a moment, my fur pelt had melted into my skin, my face shortening and becoming smooth. My fingers lengthed and

I breathed in the air around me with a perfectly perportioned nose. There I stood, naked, perfect. My skin glistenend in the

moon light,glowing. My golden eyes were fixed on Sam, my body once again cold as granite. I was perfection, deadly

perfection, an abomination at it's best; from my long wavy black hair to my slim feet, a complete abomonation.

Sam turned his black head to look at. His body sprung around in an instant so that he could fix me with his gaze. His

teeth were not bared but his eyes were wide in horror. He surveyed me from head to toe, an abomonation.

' Don't you see now, I am an abomination!' I screamed through my tears,' I'm not human, nor werewolf, nor vampire!

Kill me, I don't wish to live in fear any longer ! I should be dead ! I do not belong.'

Sam stayed silent. I tryed to hear his mind , but only could catch a few mumbled words of horror. Time drew on in what

felt like a complete eternity.Sam just stood there, staring.

After many hours of waiting, or maybe meer minutes, Sam finally let out a sigh.

' No '

My eyes widened in horror.

' No? What do you mean no?'

' No,' Sam repeated dryly,' I won't kill you.'

My body shook with dread. Tears streamed down my cheeks in rivers, my teeth bit into my lip. The world suddenly became

colder than my granite skin. I wrapped my arms around my bare chest, my body becoming weak. I let myself sink down

onto the ground, screaming in agony. The dirt of the forest floor smeared my white skin, and the grass , leaves and branches

became entangled in my raven hair.

' NO!' I screeched , ' NO NO NO! KILL ME! KIIIIILLLLLLL MEEE! PLEASE, PLEASE! END IT! END IT! I CAN'T TAKE IT!

NO NO PLEASE, END IT ! NO, NO, I'M SORRY! '

The world went black