Hello, Everyone! This is what I think you would call a dribble, or perhaps just a point of view look on Akito's part in chapter 110. So please, if you haven't read book 20, don't read this, unless you really want to and want to read something you have no idea what's going on. At any rate, I was on youtube, and I wanted to watche, read, listen to something very deep and moving... Finding nothing, I decided to search up Akito and Shigure since their my favorite pairing, but just found some very... I don't know, I like the slideshows, but they where reaching the full extant of what was true love for Akito. Everyone has a different version and veiw of love. What if Akito's veiw of true love was to disregard everything she wanted and to just give her what she needed and not any self-satifying lies so she would be happy. What if the kind of love she wanted, what she needed was the cold harsh reality and truth. And to just be abandoned spite what Akito told Kureno and just do what was good for her. This is my veiw on her kind of love.
No more, her life, her possessions... Their breaking. Their all shattering, and falling into a million pieces and then flying away to a place where she can't reach.
It's not fair, she was promised she'd never be alone, he said she'd always be loved. Father lied, father lied to her...!
When she looked into that black box, the one that kept Akira's soul bound, she treasured it. Holding it close to her and smiling like he had never left when the young girl saw that heavy white cloth over his face. She knew it weighed a ton, because no matter what, she couldn't bring herself to lift it. She was just too weak.
No one was allowed to touch this box, it was hers. It was special... And yet it wasn't; it was so heavy, but it weighed nothing. And when she thought that it was just nothing, she felt like the God could live without it, but when she thought that maybe... It was a invisible spell, an unseen power, she couldn't possibly get rid of it. As though it was nothing but it still clung to her heart like some chain bound around her warped mind and her emotions.
It was almost comical when black short hair tossed around and her black eyes found the same exact matching pair starring back with malice and chaos on the brink of release. Her long blank locks twirled like vicious snakes as the older woman's movements became blind and irregular. Ren must have looked like a rabid beast, foaming at the mouth the way she stormed in searching for the only thing of her late lover's that she did not have.
But to Akito she she just every day fool. Just like she was.
How is it that Akito, God of the Sohma zodiac, did not know what everyone else knew. How in the world would she have known that there was no spell, there was no invisible barrier, no soul, no hidden Akira-sama, no nothing! Father was not in that empty box! She felt like a fool, but, she thought, it was their faults... It was the cursed woman's fault. The one who told her that as long as she had this black silk box, she would have Akira's soul forever. Father would never leave her, she would never be alone.
Just like Father promised.
When Akito went outside were the bickering was just a minimum, Kureno followed her.
"It was a little of both, you know..."
"Eh..?" Kureno said as he looked at the young woman who continued to stare at the scenery.
"The box. I knew it was empty, but... when I thought of it as an invisible force, something only meant for me, when I thought like that, there was no way I could let it go." I'm a fool, and she's a fool. Akito thought when she knew that that woman was still arguing with the maids about Akira's empty box. "Akito-sama...-"
The rooster cut himself off, taking long, cool breaths before actually saying what he intended. "Akito-sama, I think... I think that maybe we should change the way things are going. The way you are going, living like this, something has to change now or everything will live you behind." The man tried to tread lightly, he new what he was saying was shattering the ice beneath his feet, and soon he was going to drowned.
"Don't!" Akito Snarled, "I don't need your pity. And you, YOU! It's all your fault! You tell me this, NOW? Now you say I must change, it's too late! Everything is already leaving me behind, it's too late for that now, Kureno! It's... It's... It's all my fault isn't it." The rage that was coursing through her sick veins vanishes with her conviction, her tired and sadden eyes bore low, there was no one else to blame now. Everyone was leaving, now all there was to stick the guilt on was herself.
"Go away! Leave me! You should have done that at the start, now it's no use. There's already nothing left for me. Kureno, I'm already empty!!" With the angered adrenaline running through her head, it made her look insane. And perhaps that was what she was, crazed.
"That... Part salvation... Part condemnation... That is what is devouring me!" Tears were falling like sweet release, it was the only relief she felt in that instant as the steel she stole from the ground was pushed further and further into the tender flesh of Kureno's back. "You will pay, you should pay, take up the responsibility for destroying me! Make up this fault by dying before me!" The shock on Kureno's face was pleasurable, and yet it stung like no other. She didn't know what he expected her to do when he said those things, Akito didn't know if he thought she would agree and start over... but if he did, he was dead wrong. Dead wrong.
"You owe me this, Kureno. In the very least, you can do this for me. Now fly away, go where I cannot. And leave me alone." He truly he'd do what was best, that was what she ever wanted from him, was for him to tell her the truth. And to do what was best for if he had truly loved... He would have left her and abandoned his God, just like everyone else. Just like Him.
She ran, ran away from the blood, from the fallen body, and the screaming voices of alarm. With the bloodstained blade she ran away from her mother, and her father, and the empty box that held not her father's soul... but hers.
And oh, how beautiful and empty it was. She smiled with tear stained sorrow dripping off cold reflecting steel.
Fin...
Childoftime15