Love Hina:
A different path taken.
Oo000oo000oO
Chapter One.
Oo000oo000oO
My center is giving way, my right is in retreat; situation excellent. I shall attack — Marshal Foch, WW1 Oo000oo000oOTwenty six hours.
Twenty six gorramed hours.
That's how long Keitaro Urashima had been on the go since his grandmother's letter had reached him on the job in Africa.
"Africa." Keitaro thought, the corner of his mouth quirking up into a smile as a thought came to him through the haze of exhaustion. "A couple of years ago, I was studying my ass off in a desperate attempt to get into Tokyo University. I never thought in my wildest dreams that I d have ended up in Africa as a contractor."
One thing was for sure: He was earning a hell of lot more now doing contracting work than he ever would if he had went to Tokyo U. Though the other way probably would have less explosions.
All thoughts of explosions and other work related problems evaporated as he found himself facing the stairs leading up to the Hinata Inn.
"Oh fuck me."
Oo000oo000oO
Eighty thousand gorramed steps later- or so it seemed- Keitaro made it to the top of the stairs. There he took a moment to stop and take in the sight of the Hinata Inn. It was a huge inn, spread out over the surrounding terrain and multiple stories.
Architecturally, it was all done in the traditional Japanese style, which meant slanted roofs with clay tiles and curved gables, along with wood and rice paper construction. Framed by the cherry trees planted along the front of it, the Hinata Inn made for a stunning first impression.
Shouldering his kit bag again, Keitaro resumed walking the last few meters between him and sweet, sweet, blessed sleep.
"Hello?" he called out when he stepped into the hotel proper after kicking his boots off in the mudroom. "Is there anyone here? Aunt Haruka?"
Not getting a response, Keitaro sighed and trudged off to where the managers quarters were. If there was no one there, well, he could just drop off his stuff and get a quick soak in the baths to get the grime out of his pores before sacking out.
Oo000oo000oO
"Ahhh... This is it." Keitaro said as he settled into the baths.
There was something fundamentally civilized about an open air Japanese bath, Keitaro reflected. You beautiful scenery, fresh air, and the ever so relaxing feeling of settling into a pool of hot water after scrubbing the grime from your body-
The scrape of wood on wood was faint but distinct, and Keitaro was instantly on guard. Mindful of whee he was, he only slipped his hand under folded up towel lying conveniently within reach instead whipping around and leveling his USP Compact at who ever was sliding open the rice paper screen.
Turning around, he was surprised to see a girl standing there, about thirteen to fourteen, wearing a school uniform and looking at him in complete astonishment.
"Ah, hi." Keitaro said in an attempt to break the ice.
The girl blinked once, then let loose with a screech that could have been heard in Osaka before runing back into the Inn.
Keitaro sighed and stood up. "Smooth as ever, Urashima." he scolded himself as he grabbed his towel.
He had gotten himself semi-decent and was walking towards the door to the changing room where his clothes were when he heard footsteps pounding along on the wooden floors of the hotel.
"What the-two people." he thought, his reflexively tightening on the grip of his pistol under it's concealing towel.
Not wanting to deal with two all too likely hostile people in the confines of the changing room, Keitaro stopped well short of the door and moved off to the side. That proved to be a prudent move because a moment later the screen was slid viciously to one side and two girls came charging out, one in street clothes, the other in a hakama and gi.
Keitaro immediately pegged the one in street clothes as the lesser of the two threats, as she was unarmed. The Ronin wannbe, however, was holding a sword and looked like she knew how to use it. She spotted him and turned towards him, bringing her sword up into a ready position.
Or she tried to,anyways. Keitaro was a hell of a lot quicker on the draw than she was and had the safety off and aimed at her head before she even got halfway.
"Don't even think about." he said, an irritated growl coloring his voice.
"First you expose yourself to Shinobu, then you threaten me pervert-" the swordswoman started to say, but Keitaro cut her off.
"Shut up, or I shut you up." he growled, then turned his attention to her companion, who was starting to back away uneasily from the armed confrontation. "You, brown hair. Where's Haruka?"
The brown haired girl froze when he addressed her, and it took her a moment to get her brain working. "Ha-Haruka?" she asked. "How do you know her?"
"I'm her nephew." Keitaro explained. "Now, where is she?"
"Sh- she went to the store, she should be back by now..." the brown haired girl said, her gaze never leaving Keitaro's pistol.
"Good." Keitaro said, and looked at the girl with the sword. "You, drop the blade."
"I would never surrender to a immoral coward such as-" the swordswoman started to say, but she was interrupted by the arrival of another woman.
"Settle down, Matoko." the woman said, pausing to light a cigarette before turning her attention to Keitaro. "You've filled out some, Keitaro." she said.
"Hey, Aunt Haruka." Keitaro said, keeping his attention focused on Motoko. "Tell the Ronin wannabe she either drops the blade or I drop her."
Haruka arched an eyebrow at her nephew and glanced at Motoko. "Do as he says, Motoko." she told the girl.
"And leave me at his mercy? I think not." Motoko said, shifting her feet slightly.
Sighing, Haruka reached over and put her hand on the grip of Motoko's sword and forced it down. "Do it, Motoko." she said. "He's got you. You're too far away to strike, and he'll get you before you can close the distance."
Grinding her teeth, Motoko grudgingly gave in to Haruka's request and lowered her sword. As soon as it was sheathed, Keitaro lowered his pistol and flipped the safety on.
"Okay." Haruka said the people assembled around her. "Why don't we all go to the common room and get this sorted out, hmm?"
Keitaro watched as Motoko sheathed her sword and gave him a murderous glare.
"Gonna be trouble out of that one..." he thought.
Oo000oo000oO
When Keitaro got the common room, he found that Haruka had gathered all the tenants of Hinata House there. They were all seated on the couches, and someone had thoughtfully provided a tray of snacks- the youngest one, if the apron she had put on was any indicator.
"Shinobu." Keitaro thought as he glanced at her, remembering the conversation that he and the other two girls'd had during their armed standoff.
Said girls were sitting protectively on either side of Shinobu, Trouble or Motoko on her right, and Naru on her left, who gave him a nasty looking scowl as he came in. Keitaro merely gave her an amused smirk and sat down.
"Look as badass as you want in front of everyone, cupcake." Keitaro thought to himself. "When the shit was going down you were as timid as a mouse..."
That's when Haruka came in with a girl he hadn't met yet. She looked to be about his age, with short cut hair, fox-like eyes, an amused grin, a tumbler of what looked like Scotch in her hand, and if the blush in her cheeks was indication this wasn't her first one.
"Alright." Haruka said, clearing her throat. "I got Kitsune, so now we can begin. As I'm sure you all know, we have a new resident here at Hinata Inn."
"WHAAAAAT?" was the almost universal reaction from the assembled girls, the exceptions being Haruka and Kitsune.
"That pervert can't live here! This is an all girls dormitory!" Naru protested.
"He's too dangerous!" Motoko yelled.
"..." said Shinobu as she tried level best to blend in with the upholstery on the couch.
Kitsune look amused and intrigued, as if this new development promised potential chaos and shenanigans. Given her name and demeanor, Keitaro wondered how many tails she had.
Haruka merely sighed and crossed her arms. "We don't have much choice." she said, chewing on her cigarette. "He's been appointed as the interim manager."
"What? Why?" Naru demanded.
"Because I'm the black sheep of the Urashima family, and grandma figured that managing this place would get me to settle down and take up a more... conventional line of work." Keitaro answered with a chuckle.
Naru turned her Force 10 Glare of Doom on Keitaro. "And just what is your job?" she asked. "A freelance Yakuza?"
Keitaro snorted in amusement, unfazed by her Glare of Doom and settled down in his chair. "Actually, I'm a mercenary." he explained. "I've spent the last two years in Africa, traveling strange lands, meeting exotic people, and shooting them."
There was a round of shocked gasps from the assembled girls. "The truth was gonna come out anyways." Keitaro thought to himself. "Might as well get it out of the way now."
"So you are a criminal." Motoko huffed.
"Nope." Keitaro shot back. "The PMC I work for was doing contract work in South Angola, helping out the Christian population deal with irregulars that kept coming down from the Muslim north. We were teaching their defense forces small unit tactics and dirty fighting."
"You were doing anti-terror work?" the new girl- Kitsune- asked.
Keitaro shook his head. "No. we were training their guys. Teaching them how be meaner and nastier than their neighbors." he elaborated, rubbing his eyes. "Fuck, I'm tired."
"Long day?" Haruka asked.
Keitaro looked at his aunt. "I've been on the go for the last..." he paused to look at his watch "Twenty seven hours now with no sleep."
"I see." Haruka said.
"And on that note, I'm gonna go get some." Keitaro said. "I'm sure you guys all have questions and such, but seriously, if I don't get some sleep soon, I'm just gonna drop where I'm at. Good night."
With that, Keitaro walked out of the room.
Haruka was the first one to speak after her nephew left. "Well, that was interesting..." she said.
"He's a thug!" Naru exclaimed. "He's a common, basic, thug!"
"Along with being debased and immoral." Motoko added.
Haruka sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose. "Yes, and while those things could be said of him, per Grandma Hinata's order, he's the landlord until she gets back, so you've got to treat him with the same respect that you would her." she said, and held up a hand to quell the inevitable outrage "So bite your tongues and hope that she comes back soon."
Oo000oo000oO
Keitaro was gently woken sixteen hours later by an explosion outside his window.
"The fuck?" Keitaro said, pistol up and sweeping the room for threats. "Oh. Not under attack..."
When there were subsequent explosions, Keitaro flipped the safety on and went to the window to see just what the hell was going on. Sliding it open, he found himself looking out onto the courtyard where he saw Kitsune lounging against a tree drinking a beer while a deeply tanned blond girl poked at a smoking crater with a stick.
"Just what the hell is going on here?" Keitaro demanded, yelling at the two girls. "And who the hell is she?"
"Ohhh, heey." Kitsune said, holding up her beer in a salute. "Me an' Su here were testing her newest invention."
"Su?" Keitaro asked, scratching the side of his head.
"Kolla Su, resident super genius and mad scientist at your service!" the blond haired girl said, flashing Keitaro a grin.
Keitaro blinked a couple of times, then scowled. "Well, could you knock that shit off? Some of us are trying to sleep!" he snapped, then slid window shut.
Kitsune and Su stared at the window for a couple of moments, then it slid back open.
"Wait a minute." Keitaro said. 'What do you mean, resident mad scientist?"
Su grinned at him like a maniac. "Yep!" she said. "That's what I am!"
Keitaro stared at her for several log seconds, his expression that of someone who was seriously contemplating murder.
"Are you Guild certified?" he asked.
"Guild?" Kitsune asked.
"Oh, it's nothing." Su said, waving her hand dismissively. "Just a bunch of stuffy old guys. They sent me a letter, but I didn't pay attention to it."
Keitaro blinked a couple of times. "Su... just so we're clear, you've ignored a missive from the Inter-Dimensional Guild of Mad Scientists, right?" he asked, speaking carefully, as if to someone of diminished capacity.
"Yeah." Su answered.
Keitaro was silent for a couple of moments, then he shrugged. "Okay, whatever." he said. "Just keep the property damage to a minimum, okay? And knock it off with the explosions for today. I'm trying to sleep."
With that, Keitaro slid the screen shut a second time.
Both girls stared at the screen.
"Cranky cranky..."Su commented.
"Yeah..."
Oo000oo000oO
Keitaro finally crawled out of bed after almost twenty hours of sleep feeling completely rested. Rolling out of his futon, he stretched and listened to his joints pop, then went hunting for his pants and a shirt. Both items were quickly located and donned, then he tucked his pistol into his waistband before stepping out of his room with breakfast on his mind.
He found some leftovers and scarfed them down, the decided to go take a walk. As he walked into the living room he found one of his tenets sitting on one of the couches tapping away at a laptop.
"Hey." Keitaro said as he came in.
Kitsune held up a finger in a silent gesture indicating that she needed a second. Keitaro stood back and waited as she resumed her typing. While he waited he felt the need for a smoke and reached into his pockets for his cigarettes only to discover that he had forgotten them in his room. He was about to go back for them when Kitsune finished typing out her thought and turned to face him.
"Hey there." she said, a cheeky grin on her face. "Look who decided to crawl out of bed."
"Yeah." Keitaro said, stretching again. "I figured that about twenty hours was enough."
Kitsune nodded and set her laptop to one side. "So, what you doing?" she asked.
"Well..." Keitaro said, looking around at the living room. "I was thinking that I'd take a walk around the hotel and the grounds, see how the place looks, but right now I first gotta go get my cigarettes."
"Oh." Kitsune said as she got to her feet. "You mind if I come with you?"
Keitaro arched an eyebrow at the grinning blonde.
"You want to hang out with the scary mercenary?" he asked.
"I'm a freelance journalist." Kitsune explained. "And you sound like you've got an interesting story."
Keitaro snorted in amusement. "Woman, you have no idea." he said. "C'mon."
At his invitation Kitsune got up and followed along with him as he went back to retrieve his cigarettes.
"So." Kitsune said. "How does the grandson of sweet old Grandma Hinata come to be a big, scary, mercenary?" she asked.
"That..." Keitaro said "Is a looong story."
Kitsune shrugged and pulled a digital recorder out of her pocket. "I've got time." she said. "You don't mind if I tape this, do you?"
"You're recording this?" asked Keitaro.
"I told you, I'm a freelance journalist, and you've a got an interesting story." Kitsune reminded him.
"Okay." Keitaro said with a shrug. "Well, in the beginning, there was the Big Bang. But that's not important, so I'm going to fast forward to when I was a senior in high school. I was the penultimate loser.
Clumsy, bad coordination, almost no friends, poor academic record that left me almost no chance of ever getting into a good college. The works. Then I met Shinji Akari, and my life got a whole hell of a lot more interesting."
"Who's this Mr Akari?" Kitsune asked as they walked down a hall.
"My boss. Complete fucking maniac, but a nice guy." Keitaro explained as they reached the door to the landlords room. "Anyways, like I said, I ran into him when I was a senior in high school. He used be a lot like me- a "spineless loser", in his own words, and he recognized the potential I had."
"Really." Kitsune said as they stepped into the managers quarters. "So he recruited you?"
"Yep." Keitaro answered. "He recruited me. Told me that I could be doing something so much more productive than a life of quiet desperation in my parents candy shop."
"Your parents run a candy shop?" Kitsune asked.
Keitaro nodded as he scooped up his cigarettes and lighter and shook one out. "Yeah." he said. "It's really famous where I come from. Get a lot tourists coming in. anyways, like I said, he makes his offer, and I was desperate enough at the time that I took it.
Next thing I know, I'm on flight to Mombasa to begin my training. It was rough at first, but then I got used to it and things got a lot better."
Kitsune nodded as Keitaro lit up. "So what do you do exactly, as a mercenary?" she asked.
"Security, usually." Keitaro answered "That, and augmenting whatever country's hired us forces. Usually, it's stuff that they don't have the capability to do themselves."
"Ohhh..." Kitsune said. "What countries have you worked in?" she asked.
"The Congo, lately we've been kicking around North Africa." he answered. "Mainly we've been working for oil companies, protecting their assets."
"That sounds boring." Kitsune commented.
Keitaro laughed and blew out a blue cloud of cigarette smoke. "Oh, it was." he said. "In between fighting off irate tribesmen and screaming jihadi's. Sometimes at the same time."
Kitsune blinked a couple of times and looked at Keitaro. "You're kidding, right?" she asked.
"Nope." Keitaro said glibly. "I got photos I can show you." he offered.
"Uh, maybe later." Kitsune said. "Continuing on, you mentioned that your parents own a candy shop?"
Keitaro nodded as they walked out of his room. "Yeah. Like I said, really famous where I come from, acts as a tourist trap."
"What's your family like?" Kitsune asked.
Keitaro thought for a moment as they walked down the hallway, heading for the front of the Hinata House.
"Well, to start with my family consists of myself, my mom and dad, and my sister." he began. "My parents are okay people, a little too strict and demanding in my opinion, but nice enough."
"And your sister?"
"She's nice too, but she's not the type of person that I would like to introduce to my friends." he explained. "She like's to play with people. It's nothing malicious mind you, she likes to.. she just likes to play games."
"Oh. And how did they react to your choice of career?" asked Kitsune.
Keitaro shrugged in response to Kitsune's question. "Not well." he replied laconically. "Not well at all. They stopped just short of disowning me, but let's just say that we don't talk much these days and leave it at that."
"I see." Kitsune said. "And your friends?" she asked.
"Kimiaki and Masayuki. They joined up with me."
"They did."
Keitaro nodded as they walked out the front of the Hinata House. "Yeah. Shinji likes to take the 'losers' of the world and turn them into badasses."
"He sounds like an interesting man." observed Kitsune.
"You have no idea." Keitaro said as he stopped and looked around at the front of the Hinata House. "It's a gorgeous day, isn't it?" he asked.
"Yeah, it is." Kitsune said, looking around.
Keitaro thought for a moment, then turned to look at Kitsune. "I'm hungry." he said. "You hungry?" he asked her.
"A little." Kitsune answered.
"Good." Keitaro said. "Let's go get a bite to eat."
Oo000oo000oO
"-and so then I landed in the courtyard bare assed naked, and the first thing the boss says is, 'so, they're on the second floor then?' " Keitaro said, demonstrating his trajectory with his hands to Kitsune's amusement.
"Oh God, that's hilarious." the blond journalist giggled before taking a swig of her beer.
Keitaro used this opportunity to take a swig of his own drink and took a look around the bar that he and Kitsune had ended up in looking for a bite to eat. That had been six hours ago, and he and Kitsune were now well and truly drunk.
They had spent those six hours swapping stories, with Keitaro's drifting towards his more outrageous shenanigans. Putting his drink down, he was about to ask Kitsune if she had anything like that when he felt a heavy hand land on his shoulder.
He saw Kitsune's eyes go wide, and Keitaro sighed. Putting his drink down, he looked behind him to see a couple of young men in rather expensive suits, sunglasses, and heavily gelled hair. He flicked his eyes down to look at the hand on his shoulder and saw the barest hint of tattoos peeking out from the edge of the man's shirt cuff, confirming what their apparel suggested.
"You guys are a couple of Yak's, aren't you?" he asked the two gangsters standing behind him.
Both men chuckled and the man who had his hand on Keitaro's shoulder grinned. "We want to walk to your friend." he said, his tone suggesting that Keitaro really didn't have a choice in the matter.
Keitaro glanced over at Kitsune, who's eyes were wide with fear. He looked back at the gangsters and grinned himself.
"Hey, you know what's funny about this situation?" he asked as her grabbed his beer stein.
"What?" the gangster asked right before Keitaro shoved violently back with his feet.
At the same time he slammed his head back into the first man's crotch as he tilted backwards in his chair. The gave a strangled squeak as his bits were smashed by Keitaro's iron skull and folded like a flip phone. The man stumbled backwards into his friend and Keitaro continued backwards, landing on his back.
Keeping his momentum going, he back flipped onto his feet, spun around and smashed his stein into the second mans face, laying him out cold on the floor. Continuing his movement, he grabbed the first gangster and spun him into a headlock.
"I had a shot for a perfect head butt at your crotch, but that's not important now." Keitaro said as he held up the jagged edge of the broken beer stein to the gangster's eye. "What's important is that if I ever see you or your friends around here again, you'll be eating your testicles. Understand?"
"Y-yes..." the gangster choked out, holding his smashed crotch with tears in his eyes.
"Good." Keitaro said, and shoved the man away from him. "Now get the hell away from here or I'll throw you in a hole."
Keitaro watched as the man collected his friend and staggered out, then picked up his chair and sat back down at the table, where Kitsune was staring at him in open mouthed shock.
"You..." Kitsune said, pointing vaguely at the door that the two gangsters had exited through. "You... you actually did that stuff that you told me about..."
"Yeah." Keitaro said. "I, ah, actually, understated things a little."
"What?" Kitsune asked.
"Yeah... it is. You would not believe some of the shit I did." Keitaro said, then turned to the bar. "Need another beer here."
Oo000oo000oO
End.
Author's Note: And so the fun begins... Keep reading. Thing's are only gonna get better from here.