"Are you alright?" Rory walked into their bedroom on the Tardis.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Why wouldn't I be fine?" Amy scoffed. "It was a dream so it wasn't real."

"Ok, it's just... you didn't know. As far as you knew, it could have been real." Rory sat down beside her on the bottom bunk trying not to hit his head. He'd have to talk to The Doctor about the arrangements.

"Yeah, I'm fine..." Amy's voice was less angry this time, almost a whisper.

"So, you're not having... thoughts...?" Rory was trying to be delicate, he didn't want to sound like he was nagging. Or worse, like one of her psychiatrists. "It's just, after last time ... I want to know that you're ok."

Amy sighed. "Yeah, thanks." She smiled. "I'll be fine, honest." She gave Rory a hug.

Amy was 14 the first time she'd mentioned her odd fascination with death. It was late spring and the school year was nearly over. Amy and Rory always walked home together back to his place after school. She sat on the grass in Rory's backyard next to the bright orange chrysanthemums his father had planted in the garden. Rory could only smile at her, the flowers matched her hair. She'd grown so beautifully, he didn't know what to do with himself. They talked about summer plans and the pressures of the upcoming school year.

"Three more years and we're finally done with school." Rory sighed as he laid down in the grass, using his backpack as a pillow. "Well, then there's college." He added.

"I don't know if I want to go to college." Amy looked down at him as he laid beside her. It felt good to sit next to him, she felt safe. "I just don't see any point in college. I just want to grab my things and go, travel the world, see the universe. There too much world to see to spend my time stuck behind a desk all the time. Sometimes I feel so trapped..." Amy paused for a moment. She knew she could tell Rory anything, they'd been best friends since they were 7. She knew him well, she knew how he liked to worry. But she had to tell someone about it. If she didn't get the words out she'd burst. "Rory, do you ever feel like you're trapped in your own body? Because sometimes I just wish... I want to feel what it's like to ..." She wanted to find the right words. "What would it feel like to almost die? It must feel like total freedom. Sometimes I wish I could close my eyes and let everything melt away forever."

"But you can't experience traveling the world and the universe and everything if you're dying." Rory replied. He looked up at Amy who was looking out into the distance, deep in thought. Rory sat up. "This is all hypothetical, right?" He asked. "You're not actually interested in... You're not thinking about killing yourself, are you?" He found himself holding her hand. He hadn't told her how much he loved her, he wasn't ready yet. He feared he might never be ready but at least he knew he had her friendship. He almost felt guilty for wanting something more. "Amy, you can tell me if you're in trouble. You know I'm always going to be here for you." He held her hand tighter as if she might drift away from him then and there. She just turned and looked at him with a sad smile, tears escaping her hazel green eyes. Rory took both her hands in his. "Amy...I've just got to say that..." He wanted to confess his love but his gaze turned to the flowers behind Amy and couldn't help but chuckle. "You look like the chrysanthemums in the morning, all orange and red and covered in dew drops." He reached up and softly wiped her cheek with his hand.

Amy chuckled through her tears. "That's got to be the sweetest thing I ever heard." She nudged him playfully. "I didn't know you were such a romantic. Keep up the poetry and I might just have to kiss you."

"Is that a promise?" Rory smiled, looking shyly at the ground.

"Did you just try to flirt with me?" Amy laughed.

"What?" Rory looked up. "I'm sorry... I... I was just.." Rory was blushing with embarrassment.

"Relax, I know you're only joking to make me feel better." Amy put her arm around Rory's shoulder.

"Did it work? Do you feel better?" Rory asked.

"Yeah, thanks." Amy replied.

He hadn't been joking when he'd asked that question. He had been thinking out loud, wishing really. After that reaction, Rory knew she'd laugh if he confessed how much he loved her. At least he could still make her happy as a friend.

The first time Amy almost died, they were about 2 months away from graduating. Amy had just turned 18 and had just drank half a bottle of tequila when she got the idea to look through the medicine cabinet. It was like she woke something up inside her, the curiosity to know what it'd be like came back. She woke up in a hospital bed hooked to an IV.

Rory came rushing into the waiting room as soon as he heard. "Where is she? What's happened?"

"She got a little carried away at the party." Melody explained. "Um... sit down for a minute, Rory. I got to tell you something" She sat down next to him. "I found Amy in the bathroom and an empty container of sleeping pills by the sink. I don't want to say it but... it looks like..."

"Yeah..." Rory was attempting to hold back tears. "She'd told me once that she'd thought about it but that was years ago and I never thought she'd actually..." His voice cracked as he started to cry.

Melody hated to see her father cry. "Don't worry, she's ok." She hugged Rory. "She got her stomach pumped and she's fine now, just resting."

"I just..." Rory tried to speak through sniffles. "When Sharon called, she made it sound like Amy was dying and I thought I'd lost her, Mels. I love her and I've never been able to say it. I'm sure you knew that already, it's probably obvious to you. You never miss a thing."

"Just tell her you love her already." Melody put her hands on Rory's shoulders and shook him a little. "Lives are hanging in the balance here!" She spoke of her own life, mostly. It was a wonder she was ever born with how shy Rory was.