Hello everyone, this is a story I wrote originally for my freshman English course. It wasn't actually intended to be a fanfic, but it ended up turning out like that anyways, isn't life funny sometimes? Origins aside, this is basically a story that I am posting to get the hang of the upload system here. Feel free to review, but I probably won't get back to you for a long time, as I am working on something else at the moment.

P.S.

I know that a lot of the story is more than a little cliche, but hey, it's the first piece of creative writing I ever did, with only minor edits. So cut me some slack okay?

Tales from the Crypt

"Well that could have gone better" thought Pilot as he looked at the stone in his hand. In reality it could not possibly have gone worse.

2:00 that morning- "Alright everyone, we are looking for a divine archstone here. Supposedly, it provides divine protection to whoever possesses it." said Pilot, as the cart they were in rattled down the road.

They were a team of artifact hunters; mercenaries who retrieved some of the many strange and mystic leftovers in the desolated swamp. Once a thriving empire of unmatched wealth and unrivaled advancements in magic, the swamp was now a haunted wasteland.

"So, what's the catch?" asked Andre, the team's archer.

"Well, first off, if you touch it with unclean hands you die," stated Pilot, "which is why we have the priest with us." he said, indicating Bishop. "Also, it's in a tomb, so a necromancer has probably set up shop nearby."

"What's the plan of entry?" asked Darren, who at forty was the old man of the team.

"We're just going to walk in, grab it, and hope no one spots us until we're already out"

"Alright, sounds good" Darren said as they arrived at their destination.

As they climbed out of the cart they took stock of the building before them; it was small stone building that stood up about ten feet off the ground. Years of abandonment and neglect had left it sagging slightly, and some of the smaller stones had fallen to the ground and were now half-buried in the swampy earth. They were about to depart when Andre said, his voice dripping with sarcasm, "hold up, the new guy's still trying to figure out how a backpack works."

Darren sighed. "Remind me, why do we have him with us again?"

"We needed the extra manpower, and he was the only one available," repeated Pilot for the tenth time. "Unless, of course, you're willing to split the money with another team?"

"No way I'm splitting my cash with anyone."

"Then quit whining."

During their argument they had advanced to the door.

"Ladies first" said Andre giving a mock bow to Andrew.

"I'm not a woman" the unfortunate newbie mumbled, walking through the door. They all gathered in the entryway to survey the inside. It was in a similar state of disrepair as the outer shell; however, with the added benefit of blood splattered on the walls and a few bodies sprawled across the floor.

"Lovely décor they have here, very homey" quipped Andre

"Andre" said Pilot warningly.

"Right sorry."

"Being serious, it seems that this confirms the necromancer's presence, so be careful."

Darren's body hit the ground with a thud, as his blood drained across the floor. Everyone stared at their friend's corpse as their brains worked overtime to comprehend what they were seeing. The sound of a rickety old bow being drawn back snapped them out of their trance.

"Everyone out now!" yelled Pilot as the undead archers hidden behind the false wall let loose a volley. Chaos broke out as the remaining team members all made a break for the exit at the same time.

"Well what the hell do we do now!?" Shouted Andre, as they spilled back out into the morning air. "We just lost Darren and they have an ambush right on the other side of the door!"

"Alright" said Pilot "here's what we're going to do, Andrew, get the black powder from the cart, we're going to blow a hole in the far wall they were hiding behind"

Andrew's knees were shaking, and he looked pale

"Andrew!"

He jumped.

"Y-yeah?"

"Get the gunpowder!"

"Oh right" he said feebly as wandered off towards the cart.

"Andre, get the fuses"

"I do not wish to intrude, but perhaps this venture should be postponed until a later date when we are more prepared," said Bishop gently.

"No! We are going to do this right here, right now!" said Pilot angrily. "We are not going to leave this here for some other team to get!"

"That may not be wise."

"I don't care, we're going to do this my way".

A few minutes later they were preparing to breach the wall.

"Alright as soon as I light the fuse run for cover. Once it's clear, rush in and clean up anything still moving" said Pilot "got it?"

Receiving three nods in return, he lit the fuse and ran for a small embankment a few yards away. The wall exploded in a spectacular display of force, obliterating the archers on the other side. The small group sprinted through the gap, and into the main room, and down the staircase that had been previously hidden, in an attempt to cover as much ground as possible before their enemy had a chance to regroup.

After several minutes of running down narrow corridors, they got to a large chamber lined with skulls.

"Well I guess we're in the main tomb now, it shouldn't be long before we get to the central chamber were the stone is kept" said Pilot

"Yeah and watch where you're walking, don't want to step in someone's great grandfather" said Andre. They proceeded in relative silence, until an arrow flew out of the darkness.

"Crap, another ambush?" shouted Andre as he began to return fire. The air around the small group was soon filled with the whizzing of arrows, as dozens of archers poured out of the walls, each adding his own small trickle to the endless river of projectiles.

"No way we can take all of them, we have to get out here!" Yelled Pilot over the din of battle. As if on cue a small portion of the wall caved in on the unnatural archers, giving the severely outnumbered group time to escape farther down the passage.

"Here!" Yelled Andre, "There's a door here!"

By some miraculous stroke of luck the door was unlocked, and three beleaguered figures piled inside as the door slammed shut.

"Ha, good thing their aim was so bad, or we could have gotten into trouble" said Andre

"all the same, I would prefer not to go through that again," said a weary Bishop "I was not made for such excitement."

"…Where's Andrew?" asked Pilot. Everyone slowly looked at each other, suddenly realizing that one of their number was gone. Back in the chamber, a fresh body filled with arrows was being dragged into a small doorway that had been concealed by a fake coffin.

"Goddamn it!" shouted Andre "now what do we do!?"

"Do not use the lord's name in vain." said Bishop sternly.

"Screw you!" yelled back Andre "I'll say whatever the hell I want!"

"Shut up both of you, we need to keep moving. There should be an exit in the central chamber," said Pilot "come on."

A few minutes later, they stepped out into a large circular room with an embalming table in the center. On it sat a small arch stone.

"Well, it's about time" said Andre as he reached out for the stone.

"No wait!" yelled Pilot.

Andre's hand stopped barely a few inches from the rock.

"What now?" He said irritated.

"If you touch the stone with unclean hands, you will die," Bishop calmly reminded him.

"Oh, uh, right. Sorry, you first."

As soon as Bishop touched the stone, however, he disintegrated in a sudden flash of fire.

Dead silence.

"Maybe he forgot to wash his hands?" suggested Andre helpfully.

Pilot gave him a look. Pilot sighed "Great, now we don't know if we can touch it or not"

"gloves maybe?"

Pilot glared at him.

"..Sorry"

"in all seriousness we're going to have to try and take it at this point" said Pilot solemnly.

They both stared at the stone on the altar between them.

"Sooooo," said Andre, "you first?"

Pilot sighed as he slowly reached out, his heart rate increasing, his fingers could almost close on the stone now. He closed his eyes, wrapped his hand around the stone, and… nothing happened.

"Well that priest was crap! Were did you even find him!?' asked Andre

"…selling absolution and holy artifacts."

"...Really?" said Andre

"...yes" responded Pilot reluctantly.

The sound of a far away door being splintered reached their ears. "Time to go," said Andre.

"No kidding, let's get the hell out of here."

They both ran through the far door as dozens of heavy footsteps came thundering down the opposite passage. They ran as fast as they could up the spiral staircase and out into a long hallway, hoping that they could outrun whatever was behind them.

"Pilot!"

Pilot spun around, just in time to see Andre's skull cleaved in half by the biggest falchion he had ever seen. He turned and ran for his life. He raced down the passage, running as fast as his legs could carry him, he saw a door at the end of the passageway. He shouldered through without stopping… and got struck square in the chest with a crossbow bolt. He looked down in disbelief at the shaft protruding from his body. He slowly fell to his knees, and looked up at the archer, who loaded another bolt.

The second bolt slammed into his shoulder, as he fell face down on the ground. "Well, that could have gone better," thought Pilot as he looked at the stone in his hand, life draining out of him "That could have gone much better".