Disclaimer: I don't own Scandal
AN: Prompt was "Break Me". I cheated a bit because I wrote this over the summer. This paints Fitz in a bad light. Not happy times.
Fitz pressed the talk button for the twelfth time only to be sent to voicemail once again.
"Damn it," he yelled, hurling his phone into the wall. He couldn't believe what he'd done. He was pissed at Victoria for setting him up but more than anything was pissed at himself for even crossing the line with her in the first place. He'd hurt Olivia in the worse imaginable way and he had no clue how to make right.
He needed to talk to someone. Between his quickie with Victoria and destroying Olivia once again, he was going to go insane if he didn't talk to someone. His first thought had been Cyrus but then thought against it, not wanting yet again put the man in the middle of a dispute between him and Olivia. Then he thought of Mellie but quickly let that thought leave his mind, she didn't need to be worrying about Fitz and his screw ups at a time like this. He finally decided to call the person who he'd knew would show up, Nancy.
He made three quick strides across the room to pick up his phone. While the device wasn't broken, his screen was cracked. He made a quick mental note to go to the phone store to replace it before calling his sister.
"Nance, I need you to come over," he said, his voice full of desperation.
"What's the emergency," Nancy asked as she sat on the sofa next to her brother, his state of distress as clear as day. "I fucked things up with Olivia, Nance. I crossed the a line and can never go back," he confided.
"For the love of… Who was it this time," Nancy asked. With Fitz it was always him and some woman.
" I had sex with Victoria," Fitz confided.
"Okay, you had sex with another woman. While I'm sure Olivia will be hurt initially it isn't like the two of you are official," Nancy reasoned. They couple was attempting to test the waters again but to her knowledge, they weren't exclusive.
"She's her sister, Nance. Victoria is Olivia's sister," Fitz told as he saw the light bulb go off in his sister's headed. "But here's the kicker, she found me getting dressed in Victoria's room."
"Fitz, I just," Nancy shook her head not quite sure how to finished. Of all the things her brother had put Olivia through, this was by for the worse. Olivia from far from Nancy's favorite person but she couldn't deny they the woman loved her brother with no reservations and doted on the kids.
"I know Nance, I fucked up. And the things she said to me I can't deny. Olivia has always been in my corner, even when I didn't deserve it, and I never support her. Not when we were married. But what I did today, god Nance, if you could have seen the look in her eyes," he sighed sadly. "I'm always neglecting her, expecting her to just be there waiting on me, but this time I think I've lost her."
"Fitz you know I love you but what you did was deplorable. You once told me every time things are well for the two of you, Olivia does something to sabotage it," Nancy spoke while Fitz nodded in response," but I'd argue so do you. Each and every time you guys get over something she's done, you go and sleep and with someone else. And Fitz, what you're doing to her, and yourself and your kids, it isn't healthy. I don't know what you're going to have to do but you need to fix because what the two of have is something incredible, yet you're always throwing it away," she said fiercely looking her younger sibling dead in the eyes.
" Olivia is a far cry from my favorite person but she didn't deserve what you did Fitz. I know you didn't set out intentionally to hurt her but remember how you felt when Olivia moved on, now imagine it had been with Garrett," Nancy planted in his mind. His brother and the love of his life. She watched Fitz's total demeanor change as he realization washed over him.
After his conversation with Nancy, Fitz called Olivia a couple more times before finally deciding to head to her place.
" What are you doing here," asked Olivia angrily.
" I called a couple times but you didn't answers," Fitz spoke softly as he leaned into the doorway.
"Usually that's a sign someone doesn't want to be bothered, goodbye Fitzgerald," she said closing the door only for him to stop it with his foot.
"Just hear me out. You can yell at me, throw shit, hell you can even hit me again, just please hear me out," he begged.
Olivia stared at him for a few minutes before letting him in silently. She tucked her hair behind her ear before crossing her arms. She glared at him waiting for him to begin.
" You don't have all day," she spat.
" You're right, everything you said is true. I never in your corner. You have always been there for me. From my presidency, my divorce, dealing with Karen's illness. It's always you, you're always there, yet I'm always neglecting. What I did today, there aren't words to express how foul and deplorable and out right untrustworthy it was"
"I didn't set out to hurt you. I never do. You're the one person who will stand by me through anything. Not because of family obligation or misplaced loyalty but simply because you love me and yet time and time again I fail to live up to those same standards. I'm not here asking for forgiveness, because I have no right to. I've accused you of trying to sabotage what we have ,but I can't say I blame you. I've shown you over and over again you can't trust me," Fitz sighed.
"And like a damn fool I keep coming back," Olivia retorted.
"You're not a fool, I am. You have faith in us but I always seem to find a way to shatter it. You do something, I get pissed and go sleep with someone who hates you. I could give you a ton of excuses but they wouldn't mean anything. When it all boils down to it, I'm an asshole who continually puts you through unnecessary heartache,"
Olivia stared at Fitz, fighting back the tears that welled in her brown eyes. She'd longed for Fitz to realized what he was doing to her, to them and she hated they had to come this far for it to happen. "All this time, all these years all I ever wanted was for you to tell me these things. To see the error in your ways because it so, so tiring Fitz," she sighed as she stood up and walked across the room, no longer able to look at him.
"Fighting for you, for us it's tiring. At this point in my life I can't deal with it. Between work and the kids and Victoria," she spoke her sister's name with bitterness. " And Victoria's presence is all too much. I don't have it in me to fight anymore , not when you treat me like this," she rushed out, her sad tone changing to one of anger. She turned around making sure she was looking him dead in the eye.
"Sharon and Jessica, as much as I hate the thought of you with them, I sucked up my pride and I forgave you. Why? Because I love you. But this Fitzgerald," she stopped, biting her lip as a tear rolled down her cheek, " I can't forgive, I won't. She's my sister, my fucking sister. Of all the people, why her? Did you honestly want to hurt me that badly," she yelled.
"I'm sorry, I wish there was more I could say," he trailed off, not sure what else to say.
"Why? Why her, why Victoria? Why'd you do it," she asked, wanting - needing answers.
Fitz sighed, running his hand over his head. He stood from the sofa and paced the room for a bit searching for the right words.
"She was there and thought what if. Because here she is and she's beautiful and smart and funny and enjoys the same things I do so what not. It wasn't about hurting you, at least not on my end. Yes, I was pissed at you but this, me and Victoria wasn't about hurting you. And I wish I could take it back because hurting you, betraying you was the last thing I want to do"
"I wish I could just walk away but you're intertwined in every aspect of my life. You're my business partner; you're my daughter's father; you're my best friend. I love you, god I wish I didn't but I do and you say you love me,"
"And I do, I love you more than I can express,"
"You're words say one thing but your actions speak another and honestly Fitz I'm tired of it. Of the hurt and the pain. I'll admit I've keep things from you. I should have told you about my past and my parents and Victoria but I couldn't. For my own sanity, I just couldn't go back there. It was never about keeping anything from you or hurting you. It was about protecting myself. "
"Where I grew up, it wasn't like it was for you Fitz. I didn't have two loving parents. When I left, I promised myself I'd never look back. I'm older, more mature and I know it's because I left all of that behind me. " she said with finality.
"There was a time when we told another everything. When confiding in each other was easy, where did that go?" Fitz asked .
"Broken promises lead to broken trust. The more you let me down, the harder it became to confide in you. "
AN: And there you have it folks. Let me know what you think, even if it's harsh. Thanks for reading.