Title: We were the special two
Rated:T
Warnings:Depression, Cheating.
Setting: After 4x04. Song. AU
Disclaimer: Why on earth would you think I owned glee and "The special two" by Missy Higgins? Because FYI I don't.
For the song lyrics that go with this story google the special two by missy Higgins lyrics.
It was a week after Blaine had returned from the disastrous trip to New York. It was a Monday in fact and the first glee club of the week, "Assignment day" and as Finn slid into the room in a desperate attempt to be present a "Mr Shue" front and scrawled REGRETS on the whiteboard he couldn't help the rising panic he felt. Of course Finn, Finn Hudson who he'd never felt like more than "my-step-brothers-brother" towards would assign something like this just after what happened. So as Blaine sat there in the choir room, on a Monday, a week after New York and closed his eyes as the lyrics washed over him.
Blaine's tear stained face was only visible via the square of light coming from his phone as he checked his messages again. His mom was probably worried sick about him, he did after all come home and immediately shut the door to his room. That had been saturday at noon, now it was Sunday evening and he hadn't even left his bed. He had only done something like this once before after the Sadie Hawkins dance and before the doctor assigned the mess for depression. He rolled over and stared at the small crack of fading light peeking out from under his curtains. He'd didn't want go outside, he didn't want to inflict himself onto the world. The darkness of his room had been peaceful at first but now it was suffocating and so lonely, he would turn the light on, he just couldn't summon the energy. Plus the voice in his head maintain a constant barrage of "feel bad you cheated on the love of your life" sure wasn't helping him feel good about himself. It was with that thought that Blaine rolled over and fell asleep.
.
Blaine was nine when he got whisked away to spend the week with his Aunt. When he gets home it's only him and his mom alone in his big empty house. Its not until he's twelve that he fully understands why his parents were divorced. That was why he couldn't stand the thought of cheating or him being "for sale" because after all there wasn't a lot that "YOU DIPPED INTO BLAINE'S COLLEGE FUND TO PAY THAT BLONDE TO GET IN OUR BED!" could mean. Therefore it's again when Blaine is twelve that Blaine promises himself to never cheat on anyone. However it's not until Blaine pulls on the last article of clothing at Eli's house does he remember that promise and he has never felt more disgusted with himself.
Kurt and Blaine. Blaine and Kurt. Klaine. The special couple that everyone was sure would make it. Now they were just watching the boys flounder. Seeing Kurt trying to move forward and Blaine digging his heels in out of sheer desperation. They were wrong though because all the things Blaine did was not out of desperation it was out of fight. Fight to refuse the hand that had been dealt. Fight to prove that they were still that special couple.
.
Blaine missed a lot of things with Kurt in New York and he had expected too but he hadn't expected how much he would miss the things like holding hands and holding each other the things he often took for granted. He just missed it. He missed Kurt.
.
He would always remember being fourteen and his mother sitting him down and informing him with an old look in her eye lies kill relationships. It was why he never lied to Kurt he just didn't tell him everything. He never told him how unhappy and alone he was, well not until Kurt wasn't listening. He just hadn't wanted to shatter Kurt's happy, oblivious, New York shell.
.
So many times as he lay in his dark room he thought that maybe it would have been better to lie or just not talk about what happened with Eli, but he always came back to the same thing, if he hadn't of done it in the first place.
He knew he didn't deserve Kurt's trust, but knowing that didn't stop him from waiting or hoping for another chance.
Blaine felt like he couldn't breathe. He needed Kurt like air and that was hardly healthy. He just didn't want anyone but Kurt.
He could remember when he was taken to the doctor when had felt like this the first time, the questions asked and the almost uncaring look in his eyes as he assigned the medication. Except this time he did this to himself, it was his fault.
The sad thing was when Blaine pictured his future all he could see was Kurt and the future They had planned. He couldn't get past it and he really didn't want to.
So a couple of days into "regrets" week when he gets called up he slides onto the piano bench stares at the keys and sings, I've hardly been outside my room in days.
Why hello there please don't hate me for posting this instead of Battle Scars. But… hope you liked this! An the next chap for Battle Scars should be up soon!
Please Review!
Love Dusty