A/N: This story is the product of a wonderful collaboration with an amazingly talented co-author. Vel wrote her half and I the other, and we edited together. You can find her at velception . tumblr . com
It had taken weeks for the Systems Alliance navy to take her off the active roster and return her back to Asari Command. And amidst the aftermath of the devastation on Thessia, Command had taken forever again to process her request to return to the Citadel. But finally after months of limbo, C-Sec had finally approved Vel's transfer to the flagship of the Citadel Fleet.
She took a shuttle to the massive asari-built dreadnought, and just when everything seemed to be working for her to finally start her new assignment, the liaison officer (or at least that's what Vel thought was the title of the overly scrupulous asari) told her that the captain was on her way to the mess hall for lunch.
Vel followed the signs and navigated the labyrinth-like corridors of the Destiny Ascension in her standard black commando leathers and a duffle bag slung over her shoulder, finding her way to the ship's mess hall (and hoping this massive ship only had one mess hall). The silhouette of an asari caught her attention. Dressed in an impeccable uniform, the rank stripes were almost gleaming with pride on the asari's shoulders. Vel caught up and presented her transfer request. "Vanguard Velana T'Ria reporting for duty, ma'am."
Lidanya turned around at the sound, the interruption a welcome distraction from the strategic reports that had already kept her up most of the night. She raised her brow at the new arrival, a youngish maiden in standard leathers and her markings a peculiar magenta on vibrant teal skin. "A transfer request?" she asked, eying the datapad the asari had presented. "I usually lose people to other fronts, not gain… Who are you with currently, the fleets? An independent unit?"
Vel shrugged. "I was on loan to the Alliance since Earth. But after Thessia... I've put in request to come back."
Lidanya passed the datapad back, and pulled up the ship roster on her OT as she picked up for the mess again. She beckoned the commando to walk with her. "I see. You are aware that the Citadel fleet should not—hopefully—be on the front lines?" she asked, flicking between the various subgroups in the roster. "Several of my commando group leaders will have room for you. Special operations on the other hand… possibly, but you must convince them."
"When I said 'after Thessia'..." Vel explained, smiling wearily, "I was actually on Thessia. I lost my unit and was extracted by an Alliance ship a month later. I think your group leaders will understand my eagerness to even the scores with the Reapers."
"…I am very sorry to hear that," Lidanya said, feeling the familiar pang of guilt over her inaction… sitting here in relative safety when war raged all around. "I have no doubt they will understand. Not being able to help has not been easy for any of us. I would like to hear about it when you come aboard, if you wish to share."
Vel smiled politely as if to soothe the flash of pang in Lidanya's eyes. She'd had to deal with her own survivor's guilt for having not saved more than she could, that and the nights of nightmares that followed. Above all, she was happy for the captain's acceptance. "Of course, ma'am. I'll be honored. Point me to the group leaders and I'll be out of your way."
"Out of my way? Cannot have that, I insist on knowing my crew," Lidanya said, smiling wanly to herself. "I hope your time with the humans did not get you used to their vast top-down hierarchies—you will have to tell me all about that," she added, idly wondering how the humans and turians managed their armies with such rigid organizations.
She brought her OT closer to the commando's to touch-transfer data. "Here are their contact details… just pick whichever suits your fancy, and contact them. Huntress Merel," she said, tapping a name in the list, "will play hard to get, but she will take you too. Whichever way you choose—if you do decide to come on board—welcome!" she added with a distracted smile as they entered the common room's dining area. "I will need to speak with you once you have decided."
Slightly surprised by Lidanya's interest in knowing a new subordinate (something that wasn't at all common on Alliance ships), Vel glanced around at the dining area. "I suppose I will join you for the meal, if you wish, ma'am?" she said, catching her own formality with a sheepish grin. "I'm sorry... you're right. Humans do place an absurd amount of attention on protocol. I will... adjust. In time," the commando tried to cut herself off with a cough, but the last word still snuck out, "...ma'am."
Lidanya allowed the corner of her mouth curl up a little before gesturing at an empty table nearby the entrance. "I am sure you will. Please, do join me," she added, and headed for the seat. "I am certain there are benefits to such… strictness, as well. It is fascinating. Your expertise may be very helpful in dealing with our allies.
"Here you are still expected to obey your immediate superior, of course, but only because you have entrusted her with that power."
Vel followed and sat down beside Lidanya, her grin more natural now seeing the captain's faint smile. "I'm sure humans have their reason. Their military is a lot bigger than ours, perhaps they need strict discipline to keep everything in order, much like the turians."
"This is true. They are efficient. I wonder if it makes giving orders easier…" Lidanya said, trailing off as she distractedly entered her order through the menu interface. "Goddess knows my heart is no lighter for the knowledge that I have been chosen, rather than installed." She shook her head to clear it of her gloominess and the surprise that blurting out the confession had stirred. She had to be exhausted to have been so careless."Sorry, I do not mean to…"
"No, you're right," Vel said, entering her order as well. "It may sound strange but... humans are willing to let a lot get ahead of experience. Perhaps it's because of their lifespan, even the life experience of a human 'elder' is limited."
"I believe we have a good mix here," Lidanya said, not with a little pride. "Most of my squad leaders are still in their maiden years. Even I am young, barely seven hundred… Of course, that is sometimes a burden when it comes to convincing the Fora… But that is not your worry, it is mine," she added hastily, scolding herself.
Vel laughed playfully. "You barely look five hundred."
Lidanya favored the commando with a small smile. "I would like to say that flattery will get you nowhere, but I am too old for that pretense… Would you tell me of this human ship you served on? Or was there more than one?"
"There were two, both were Normandy-class ships," Vel answered with a proud smile, her eyes glowing for an instant as she had the first time she gazed upon the gleaming hulls of those ships. "The An Jalut and the Normandy."
"Oh! That must have been interesting," Lidanya said with a little more enthusiasm than she normally showed. "I had a short tour of it back after the first battle. An impressive bird. Not quite of class with this old lady, but then nothing is…" she continued, letting her gaze wander the familiar and yet enduringly beautiful space of the common room. "Did you partake in any of the famous exploits of the Normandy? This other ship I am not familiar with."
"Humans take a lot from turian ship designs. Everything is at an angular angle, lacking asari ships' sleekness and grace," Vel began with description of the ships, "Normandy is like that. It took some getting used to.
"As for exploits... I missed the major Alliance ops during the early stages of the war, but by fluke chance I was on SR-1 when they went to Feros," she gave a soft snort, recalling the startling sights on the ancient Prothean planet that seemed so mild now compared to the horrors unleashed by the Reapers, "Thorian Husks? They're like Reaper Husks, only they stink more.
"An Jalut mostly carries the Alliance's N7 teams between systems," she said finally, "and I was primarily attached to that ship since the Reaper invasion started."
"What is a thorian?" Lidanya asked, picking out the unfamiliar word.
Vel blinked once at the unexpected question. "Thorian? It was a..." she paused for a second, frowning as she grasped for words to offer a description, "...it was a millennia-old plant that was able to control asaroids by spores. The effect was surprisingly similar to Reaper indoctrination. I was sure Command received my report? It must be buried somewhere."
"I see," Lidanya said, resolving to research this thorian more later. She was certain that she would have been informed by Intelligence if it was something she needed to be worried about, and could simply have continued to ignore its existence until this accursed war was over… but she had to admit curiosity about the commando's encounter with it. "I must confess I sometimes wonder if the rough, utilitarian design the humans and turians use improves functionality. Whether we compromise for aesthetics? …But of course, it could be the other way around. Did you fight alongside these human commandos?" she asked to change the topic back to something more familiar to her, poking at her food in a far more leisurely pace than her usual few minutes of efficient consumption.
"I like to think our ships are far more efficient than our counterparts, therefore saving space for aesthetic designs..." Vel said with a light smile, an exaggerated weariness mixing into her expression as she continued. "Human ships are so... rough on the eyes that I don't understand how they keep the crew's morale."
Lidanya smiled at the maiden's passion, though she had to admit that she quite preferred asari vessels herself—and salarian ones.
A soft chime from her OT stopped her mid-bite, before she could reply. "Hm… Oh!" she exclaimed, abruptly standing up. "The ceremony, I must hurry," she explained distractedly, lightly touching Velana's hand. "I apologize, I lost track of time. I must be somewhere… and I am going to be late."
"No worries, don't let me keep you from your appointment," Vel said quickly, realizing the captain must have more important things to attend to than chatting with crew, but she was smiling brightly. It was something Vel hadn't felt since she first set foot on Thessia and saw the burning landscape. She waved and asked out of a daring optimism and simple hope, "maybe I'll tell you about the human commandos tomorrow?"
"I am afraid I do not…" Lidanya started, painfully aware of how completely crammed her schedule was the following day—how crammed it always was. Still, she found herself thinking as she looked back at the commando, her adjutant, Ami, had been insisting that Lidanya should try to delegate more of her responsibilities. "I will make time for you tomorrow," she said even before she had quite realized she had made the decision. Flashing a quick smile to hide her surprise, she gave a small wave and strode purposefully toward the elevators.
Smiling, Vel watched Lidanya leave, her mind racing through her tasks for the rest of the day, wishing that she could skip through the mundane to the captain's enjoyable company. She glanced at the now empty seat in front of her before quickly turning to look out the window, hiding a certain glee that was bubbling up from within her.
Lidanya wandered down to the common room for breakfast, regretting the rare indulgence in equally rare wine she had allowed herself to escape the dreadful boredom of the previous night's ceremony when yet another chime interrupted her thoughts about reconfiguring the turian battle groups for more agility.
The glee she felt at the urgent message reporting likely hostile scouts at the relay was nothing short of shameful, but she could not help it. It was a good thing to get the fleet back on its toes from the complacent slump they had ended up in… and it got her out of her meetings for a while at least.
A thought struck her when she strode toward the tactical deck to observe the cruiser group she'd dispatched make its way toward the relay. Despite her confidence the previous day, she had found it all but impossible to make as much time for her new recruit as she had wanted to… a quarter hour was the best she could have done. Perhaps the foolish assailants had granted her another small blessing?
[lta/da/csec/c] I am afraid I will be tied watching an operation most of today. I will take lunch here in one hour, however. You are likely to be busy with getting settled today, but if you have the time and should like to do so, you are most welcome to join me. — Lidanya
She went over the message twice for corrections before she finally dispatched it to Velana.
Vel looked up from a duffle bag full of gear as her omni-tool beeped. A faint smile flashed across her lips when she saw that the message was from Lidanya. She basked in the knowledge that the captain had made time for her as promised before typing a reply.
[v.t'ria/da/csec/c] I've already moved everything to my quarters. If you like my company, I'll be happy to join you for the viewing.
Lidanya eyed the tactical display when she stepped out of the elevator and, satisfied that the operation had begun correctly, exchanged a few words with her staff as she walked toward one of the small alcoves at the back of the war room. She had already read Velana's message, but had decided to try to read the initial encounter reports before writing a reply. A few useless attempts later, she switched back to her message program.
[lta/da/csec/c] Please, I would like that. Your ID will unlock the tactical deck in the elevator.
Besides the lunch with the captain, there was also the naval operation being carried out by the Citadel Fleet at the same time. Spectacular as it was known to be, Vel had never had a chance to see it firsthand. Excited about both prospects, she entered the elevator and pressed the button for the captain's deck.
Lidanya slid back on the bench a little to have a better view of the entrance—and for Velana of her—when her OT alerted her of the time. She gave another dubious glance at the assortment of human dishes that she had requested the chefs to prepare. It had seemed a good idea then, given the commando's time among the species, but now…
Vel stepped out of the elevator as the doors opened, pausing briefly in the middle of the vast room to take in the impressive sight of the wall of holographic displays that the Destiny Ascension provided to her captain. She crossed the floor and stopped beside Lidanya, keeping her eyes on the video feeds from the ongoing operation as she spoke quietly. "Nice view."
"Please, sit," Lidanya said, and flashed a smile before moderating her expression. "I know it is a terrible thing to say, but this can be quite impressive. They will have to switch to direct footage from the battle group soon, our imaging does not quite reach to the relay." She paused in thought. "There is nothing to worry about, by the way. It is just a small scouting party… they are already cornered," she explained, and shifted slightly to make room on her side of the small table.
Vel sat down in a seat next to Lidanya, eyes still fixated on the fleet maneuvers in awe, but she glanced at the captain in alarm as something occurred to her, "Wait, 'scouting party'? Reapers?"
"Oh, no… No Reaper signatures. We have not identified them yet, but it is undoubtedly Cerberus again. No marauders would ever come here.
"The Reapers sent one ship, early, but none since… I do not think they consider this place nearly as important as we do, now. So you are safe here. As safe as you want to be, at least. I know you were itching for some action," Lidanya said, looking over at the asari at her side.
Vel's eyes darted at Lidanya and back at the displays, feeling the captain's gaze on her. "It's not that I'm itching for action, ma'am. I should be on standby if Cerberus ships are this close but..." she put on a smile, trying to hide the fact that she was actually itching for some action, but she was willing to put that aside now—by Lidanya's side, "seeing how the captain herself invited me to watch the operation, I think I'm not needed in the shuttle bay."
Lidanya glanced up at the enormous projections for a moment, practiced eye checking that everything about the operation was still in order in the hands of her senior staff before she turned back to the table. "Do you know what these foods are? I… took a risk and ordered some human dishes. I am not usually not this adventurous…"
Vel turned to the table when Lidanya asked the question. Taking the time to browse the dishes, she couldn't help but smile in quiet wonderment at the variety available on a warship that was stationed on the Citadel. "I know some of these, yes," she murmured, examining some of the clumps of human rice held together in rolls by green sheets of pressed fibrous plants.
"Oh, I did not try yet. See, that is why it was of the utmost importance to to station you here instead of the hangar. A powerful Vanguard such as you can keep me safe from making a grave culinary mistake," she said, smiling innocently. "This looks pretty…" she added, pointing at the neatly arranged tray of sushi. "Is it good?"
Vel laughed slightly at this sudden change of duty and smiled gently at Lidanya, her previously serious tone loosened up by the captain's melodramatic plea. "I will do my best to advise and steer you away from dubious food, ma'am," she said, walking over to the table and pointing at a few items, "these are fairly good, I like them... Mostly rice and seaweed, though some contain raw fish. Just a heads up."
"Ah, seafood…it is quite similar to ours, I understand? I am partial to it, I must admit. Hmm… how is one supposed to eat this?" Lidanya asked, hovering over the dish for a moment before simply nabbing a piece in her fingers and popping it in her mouth. "Mm, this is quite good…" she muttered, licking her fingertips clean with quick flicks of her tongue before turning her gaze back on Velana. "Now, I believe I was promised tales from your days with the humans…?" she asked, and leaned an elbow on the table with her head resting on her palm.
"Um," Vel paused abruptly as Lidanya picked up a piece of sushi, surprised eyes following the little ball of rice until it disappeared in the captain's mouth. "Or... you could use your fingers," she chuckled slightly and continued before she stared for too long, "but they're generally eaten with chopsticks. It's a human invention that lets you pick up food easily, but it's quite tricky to learn."
"I… oh, I see," Lidanya said, looking down at her lap and at the trays, her markings darkening slightly.
Vel looked away and lifted her hand to her mouth, hiding a quiet cough as she chastised herself for correcting the captain so bluntly. Not wanting to let the silence drag on, she decided to recount her experiences with the Alliance. "The humans are... fascinating. For a newcomer species they adapted incredibly fast. You really cannot imagine their versatility and resolve until you fight side-by-side with them."
Lidanya looked back up, very happy that the asari had so naturally ignored her fluster. She was usually so much more composed… "This seems a common theme I hear about the humans. It sounds like you had some dangerous times there? I have always been a fleet girl, myself, safe on ships. I do not think I could do what you do."
"I was a huntress on Thessia long before I signed up," Vel said, smiling slightly at the subtle difference in how they each saw combat. "I guess I'm used to charging into the thick of things."
"Ah, they have the intruder ships now," Lidanya said, nodding her head toward the display showing eight ships encircling three smallish vessels. She lifted herself off her seat for long enough to tell her operative staff to relay the order to attempt disabling and capturing the hostiles.
Vel nodded and turned her attention to the display, her mind picturing the fighting yet to come. "Only the battle in space is over... Once our people board the ships, it's another matter."
"This is true…" Lidanya mused as she reseated herself and turned back to her guest. "Perhaps I have so much faith in the assault teams that I consider the battle already over." Velana was right, though, they did still need to secure the ships.
"I was simply speaking from experience, ma'am," Vel quickly added. "Citadel Fleet has some of our finest commandos, I'm sure your faith is well-placed."
"We have never lost a ship we have boarded. Not the Citadel fleet, nor the First," Lidanya said proudly.
Vel nodded. Lidanya was not exaggerating; the Fleet's reputation was renowned in Citadel space. "As I said, your fleet is capable. I didn't mean to seem skeptical in their skill."
Lidanya flashed a small grin at her new recruit. "We could not do it without attracting the very best."
"In my case," Vel replied with a humble smile, "I came here to learn from the very best."
Lidanya frowned at the tactical display, and gave a reluctant nod to the questioning gazes in her direction to permit clearing the ships without attempting to capture prisoners. "Cerberus has stopped surrendering…" she said quietly, hanging her head with a sigh before looking back up at Velana with a small smile. "Do you have plans after… after all this?" she asked, trying to distract herself from the battle that was well in hand but no less tragic for it. "In general, I mean… are you planning on staying in this business, or do you think you will one day have had your fill of war?"
Vel could sense the change of mood in the room. She knew full well Cerberus rarely surrendered, but the knowledge didn't make the consequence any easier to face. Fighting a cornered and defiant enemy, the casualties would be unnecessarily high, and Lidanya's question sounded more like a voice of Vel's inner self as she studied the tactical display.
"I've never thought about that..." Vel answered, glad for the distraction as she hid the last traces of her worry. "Perhaps in a few hundred years I'll grow weary of war. But so far, fighting—" she laughed sheepishly, "forgive my candidness, but it makes me feel alive."
"I like your attitude. I… sometimes forget there are still so many things to learn, people to learn from. You should not apologize for speaking your mind. It is a dangerous way to feel alive, but I understand that yearning," Lidanya said, voice lowering to a hush as she closed her eyes and leaned back. "I am growing weary of this… the power, the responsibility. There was a day when those things were what made me feel alive, but I can barely remember it now." She smiled sadly when she opened her eyes and turned her gaze back to Velana. "Sorry, the troubles of an old warrior…"
Vel grew silent as Lidanya spoke her mind. It was unexpected, but the young commando couldn't help but listen, feeling a wash of sympathy for the captain. Lidanya once too was chasing the same thrill—the rush of life itself, and Vel wondered if it could ever be found again.
"You shouldn't apologize either, ma'am," she said quietly. "I can understand the weight of responsibility wearing on you. I imagine I'd feel the same after so long. Have you thought about... handing it to someone else once all this is over?"
"I have…and will one day, of course. Still I cannot deny that it terrifies me to let go, to place that trust in someone else. I just need to… get used to the idea," Lidanya replied, smiling furtively before turning to stare at her water glass entirely too intently.
"It can be terrifying... but you can't carry this responsibility forever," Vel said after a brief moment of pause. "I'd like to think someone like you who's led the fleet for so long deserves some rest."
Lidanya cleared her throat quietly. "I…I should go explain this operation to the Council and to calm them. Walk with me to the hangar?"
"Of course, ma'am," Vel said, standing up beside Lidanya. Her smile was soft and reassuring, knowing how close the captain was to the topic they'd left. "I'm happy to accompany you."
Lidanya smiled cautiously as she stood up, willing herself to find some of her usual poise and confidence. "I would like to think that someone could unburden me, Velana… Tonight will be nothing but more burden, I am afraid, if the previous meetings with the Council are anything to go by. Still, I can enjoy these few last minutes before that," she said, lightly touching Velana's shoulder with a small smile. "And please… call me Lidanya."
Vel smiled brightly, feeling a warmth spreading from the light touch and the familiarity Lidanya permitted her. "I'm glad you find my company at least enjoyable, ma'am—" she said, grinning sheepishly as she caught herself, "Lidanya. Even for just a small bit before you take on the Council. I understand they can be taxing."
She let the captain proceed before politely following by her side. "Also, you can call me Vel."