Promise
"I promise. I'll come home."
Those words go out from my mouth. I just do not want to forget those words that i repeat them again and again. Why am I repeating those words now? It's all because of this letter coming from Fabre's house. It's and incitation to celebrate Luke's coming of age ceremony… In front of his grave.
I read it, but I don't want to go there. So I decide to go somewhere else… where I can wait for him peacefully.
I go to Tataroo Valley, where it all began. It is getting dark, but I don't care. The valley is so quiet. I sit on a rock, facing the ruins of Eldrant and sing the hymn Van taught me. Every time I sing the words, I can't help but to remember you. I really, really want to see you again. The last time you heard me singing this… was in Eldrant.
By the time I finished singing, I can feel people behind me. One of them asks me about going to Fabre's house. It's Natalia. "I don't want to celebrate anything, in front of Luke's grave," I say. Another one speaks. Anise says that's why we are all there. And Guy also agrees with me. We all wait for Luke.
Time passes but nothing happened there, we just silent. Finally, Jade advices us to go home, since it is dangerous at night at Tataroo Valley. I… actually I don't want to go home. I still want to sit there for a little longer. I hear everyone has begun to walk. I think for a while. Maybe I should go home too… Grandfather must be worried. So I stand up and turn my body half way. I stop. From the tip of my eye, I see someone at the edge of the valley. 'He' is walking toward our place.
I turn my body to face him. He stops. I… I encourage myself to approach him. I keep a distance from him and ask, "Why are… you here?"
My heart can't wait to hear his reply. I wait hesitantly. He smiles and says, "I can have a good view of Hod… and also… I promised someone."
At the second I hear his words about promising someone, I can't stand it. All of my feeling that is sealed for these two years, has now come out. I cried but I smiled. Slowly I approach him and… and I want to call his name. Finally I can call him again. I walk slowly, until I reach him. I lean on him as my body is too weak from this excitement. I look down in the beginning to prepare what I want to say, then I lift my head. With tears on my cheeks, I open my mouth and call his name, "L… Lu—"
He suddenly pushed me away from him. His hands are on my shoulders. I'm confused. Why? I look at his hands then to his face, just to find that his face shows me a pity look. "W… why?" I ask, but he is just quiet. "Lu…k—" when I say it again, he shake his head then open his mouth to tell me something, "I'm… I'm sorry, Tear. I'm—"
That very second, my eyes widen, my body stands like a statue, and my mind goes blank. He releases his hands from my shoulders. I lower my head. I can hear everyone is coming to greet this person. They must be welcoming him with smiles on their faces, but not me. I'm not brave to lift up my head anymore. I don't want to show this face to others. Therefore as everyone surrounds this person with delight, I disappear from that place as quiet as I can. I run from that place… to a place they will never find me so easily.
I run and run to another edge of the valley that is facing the ocean and the ruins. I put my hands on my chest to calm myself. However, it's useless. I just make it even worse. I cannot stop my tears from falling, I can't even speak to ease my sorrow. All I can do now… is crying.
I don't know what to do. All hopes I've been holding for years… now have gone in a second. I cry and cry. I… inside my heart I'm angry… at him who ruins my hopes and wishes. I want to erase what he told me now, I don't want to recall it. I don't want it in my mind.
"I'm… I'm sorry, Tear. I'm—"
But, those words just won't go out. I don't want it. I DON'T WANT IT. Whenever I recall what he said, my tears will fall again. Even though he apologized, I cannot accept it… the he is not the one I wait, not the one who promised me… he is not Luke… but Asch.
Deep inside my heart I'm really angry… or is it jealous…?
I lift up my head and stare at the full moon. I realize that there is someone who waits for him, too. Natalia. It's like another me thinks that I should be happy for Natalia. She is finally together with whom she loves the whole time. I want to feel that way, so I won't cry anymore. Natalia must be happy by now. But still!
Now, action speaks more than words. I open my mouth and the Fonic Hymn just comes out. I sing it a little longer and louder. I don't care if they hear it. I just want to sing for him. I want to hear his words about my song… I want to see his face… I want to see his smile again.
When I finished the song, I hear Natalia and Anise call my name, softly from behind me. I don't want to face them immediately. I ran away earlier. So I just set a usual face then look at them, "Yes?"
"Are you okay, Tear?" Natalia asks.
"Yes…"
"Is it true?"
"Yes," I reply again.
"But your hymn… is different, Tear. I feel your sadness when you sing the fonic hymn," says Guy.
I just keep my tough shell and say, "Really? I thought I sing it like always."
"Are you sure, Tear?"
"Yes."
Suddenly, Asch comes out and walks forward. His face tells everything. Before he starts speaking, I already know what he wants to say. "It's alright," I say. He set a surprised face. "It's alright. He had promised me back then. He'd come home… and I'll wait for him… always… forever…"
After saying that, everyone doesn't speak any. Jade says again to go home and everyone follows his direction, including Asch.
I… for the last time that night I look at the ruins again and turned my body to follow the others. In my heart I promised myself that I would always wait for him… forever…