Drakken Wins

Kim Possible, teen heroine extraordinaire snuck through the vent shafts . She'd heard that something serious was going down- that Drakken, far from being reformed, had merely taken advantage of his pardon to start a new plan and plan that he claimed would forever defeat Kim Possible! (knowing Drakken, Kim added the "!").

Well not this time. She was going to find out what he was doing and stop it.

Again.

After all, not only was she a teen heroine extraordinaire, she had also graduated from high school!

Worming her way through the shaft she started to hear voices.

"Great, Drakken's back to having lots of goons." She muttered to herself. Too bad Ron and Wade hadn't answered their phones. This might be a bit-

Wait a minute. She knew some of those voices. In fact... It sounded like their was already a fight going on!

"Get her, GET HER!" Ron's voice shouted,

"I'm trying, I'm not the one who said I could tank!" Bonnie voice snarled back.

"Well maybe if someone hadn'tdecided to pile on the DPS before Ron picked up Aggro, this wouldn't be happening!" Zita said.

"Now ladies. We just have to continue stabbing her and she'll fall down eventually." That was...dad?

Kim didn't wait, she kicked open the vent grate and leaped down to be...

Completely ignored?

There were some of her school mates, sitting at computers punching buttons. There was dad, punching buttons. There was mom doing something similar only with a bit more of a bemused expression on her face.

And there, on a big 50 foot screen, was...

"Me?" Kim said in a squeak. It was her...if she was really tall, and with, ah, really big assets.

Why does everyone feel the need to add five cup sizes? A part of Kim's brain groused, but the rest was focused on the giant version of her wearing a spiky, glowing cross between plate armor and her cheer outfit. She was surrounded by other smaller characters, bombarding her with spells, knives, arrows, and what looked like a gun firing gerbils.

"She's almost down!" Ron shouted.

"Mom!" Jim (Jim?) said, "the poison, use your backstab!"

"Very well dear." Anne said and abruptly one character that looked like a large man in armor leaped up on the screen and dove into "Kim's" back with two glowing red daggers.

A shriek came and the giant Kim fell.

"No! I have been defeated!" She cried in a good imitation of Kim's voice, "Lord Drakken, by sending these heroes and defeating me you have proven that you are all that!"

Kim blinked. Everyone else cheered. A fanfare came on the screen and suddenly a banner appeared:

WORLD FIRST ACHIEVEMENT: YOU ARE ALL THAT, LORD DRAKKEN:

Under it, in smaller words:

"Defeat Queen P, in 20 or fewer minutes on 40 Man Hard Mode."

Now, there was something that looked like Drakken, only more buffed, with wings descending from the ceiling?

"Thank you heroes of Drakkaneda, you have saved us from the evil Queen Possible, for indeed, I am all that."

"Gah." Kim said.

"Hey, let's loot the body!" Tara squealed.

"GAK." Kim said again.

"You see, I told you she'd be here." Drakken, the real one, not the buff angel one, said, coming up to Kim with another man, this one dressed in a suit.

"Hello, Ms. Possible!" He said, "I'm so happy you're here for our unveiling of WOTCQ, or Wrath of the Cheer Queen."

"Wrath...of...the...Cheer...Queen..." Kim repeated faintly.

"Yes!" He said smiling, "Travel to Drakkaneda, to free the frozen lands from the dominion of the evil Cheer Queen and her minions, with all new level caps, professions and rewards-" He paused, "You did read this on the permission sheet that Dr. Lipsky sent you, right? The one where you granted us permission to use your likeness."

Kim's eyes blazed, oh ho, so Drakken had forgotten that little part, well she'd just nip this in the bud right-

"She didn't to ruin the surprise for the children." Lipsky said, smiling, with the smile of someone who has finally won.

"What?" Kim asked, "What children?"

"I mean, it was so good of you Kimmie." Anne said, her mother getting up and smiling tolerantly at the various others who were still focusing on the looting process. Coming over to her daughter she put her hand on Kim's shoulder. "I mean, normally you're a bit serious and unsure about being made to look silly, but I can see why you accepted it here. It's in such a good cause."

"Good cause?" Kim replied intelligently.

"Oh, no need to be bashful, Kimberly Ann Possible." The suited man said, "Every sale of WOTCQ will result in 10 dollars being donated to Cancer research for children. Given that our last expansion sold over 2 million copies and this one will probably sell far more given your popularity..."

"Not only that." Drakken said, his smile threatening to devour his face, "I've turned down some of my royalties in return for helping out- I have you as an example after all." He said piously, before continuing, "So every time a group downs the Cheer Queen, I'll contribute a substantial amount to the same fund!"

"Every time a group-" Kim had difficulty breathing, "Every time a group kills me, and I say-"

"You are all that, Lord Drakken?" Drew said, "Why yes! It's for charity, after all..."

Kim realized she had lost. She had been outfoxed. (As well as being stabbed, shot, spelled, frozen, burned and poisoned- that last by her mother).

"I...I guess you won, Drakken, " she said, a fixed smile on her face.

"Well, yes." The official said, "That's the point of the game."

"Oh, he won there as well." Kim replied.

"Don't worry Kim." Ron said from his computer. "I'm with you."

"Then why are you over there." Kim said.

"Because we haven't finished rolling yet and-Purple Mace, Purple Heroic MACE! " Ron shouted completely forgetting about Kim. "I got it, I got the STUFFED PANDAROO ON A STICK!"

"My Pandaroo as well!" Kim said in betrayed disbelief.

Later, at Bueno Nacho, there was cheering and laughs as the group remembered their great victory. Even Anne and James were there. James looked with longing at a Naco as Anne pointed at the salad, muttering something about being able to process James' blood for motor oil given his diet.

There was a small empty globe around one seat, with Kim and Ron sitting at it. The fact that Ron had intercepted the sheet and signed it for Kim had gotten around and most of the Middleton population knew about Kim's temper.

"Now Kim..." Ron said, "It was for the children!"

"It was for the free program and new game machine, wasn't it, Mr. Stoppable."

Oops Ron thought. "Um, that may have had a small influence on my decision, for Rufus, you understand!"

"Hey!" That notable said in outrage, before diving back into Ron's pocket.

"Uh-huh." Kim said, "Where's Drakken?"

"He doesn't come here anymore, something about a salad bar accident after the UN ceremony."

"Hmph." Now Kim's face was hidden and her shoulders started to shake, making quiet little sounds.

Wow, she really is upset.

"Kim...really I didn't think it would be...are you okay, KP?"

Her shoulders were shaking harder, and suddenly Ron realized that the sounds were...giggles?

"Nano-ticks, lasers... death traps... and all I had to do was let him kill me in a video game and he'd contribute to charity?" Now Kim was hugging herself, her face turning red trying to keep from exploding in laughter.

"Well saving the world from the Lowardians probably helped but..."

"But nothing..." Now Kim was unable to keep the laughter from spilling forth, "After four years of trying...Drew Lipsky finally won and he's got every nerd on the planet helping him take me down, every day-"

"Well, it's actually on a week lockout."

"Okay, once a week..." Kim was still giggling not even getting upset at Ron's correction. Picking up her soda she held it up in a mock toast. "Drew Lipsky, I guess at least here...you are all that."

"So, not angry at me?"

"Not happy about the Pandaroo on a stick..." Kim said, "But maybe, tonight I can give you another purple drop."

She knows about the game?

"What? Another mace, a staff...dagger..."

"No...how about... dropping my panties. They're purple, after all."

"Ah-abooyah."

End.