Time Can't Erase You, an once upon a time fanfic

A/N: I got inspired to write this while listening to Tim McGraw's song "A Friend of a Friend" so I decided to actually post the lyrics throughout the fic (they work wonderful for page breaks) so they are in the bold face and flashbacks are in italics. The M rating is for language and smut at the end, and the beginning/middle are slightly angsty. HUGE thank you to Brittany (notdonewithyou) for helping me title this because I'm terrible with titles.

I heard from a friend of a friend
You met somebody in a coffee shop
You've been going out now, from going on 10 months
You already met his family, things are heating up

The sky was dark and covered with clouds as they drove down the main road in Storybrooke, silence filling the car to its capacity. Emma sat in the passenger seat of Mary Margaret's car, looking out the ominous clouds in the sky. Of course it's going to rain, she thought. It always rains. She felt her eyes watering again and quickly wiped away the tears that had welled in her eyes. Don't you dare cry, she told herself as they got closer to their destination. The car rolled up to the entrance to the docks and came to a slow stop, neither of the two saying anything. Emma kept her eyes out the front window, a million emotions running through her body. It had been so long since she had seen him, she wasn't sure what to expect anymore.

"You know you don't have to do this," Mary Margaret finally said, her soft voice breaking the silence. Emma's lips tried to curl into a tight smile as she let her hands fall into her lap.

"Yeah… I do," Emma responded, everything flooding back to her at once. "Are… are you sure that he… you know…"

"Still cares? Mary Margaret prompted, getting a nod from Emma. "Absolutely. He asked about you just last week while I was at Granny's. I mentioned you were coming back soon. He looked so… surprised. But you could see some sort of a glint in his eyes that he was happy about it."

Emma swallowed hard as her hand gripped the door handle. "Wish me luck," she said quietly before getting out of the car. She wrapped her jacket tightly around her as the wind lightly blew her blonde curls around, the smell of the water instantly hitting her. She carefully walked towards his invisible ship; his ship that was still docked there. After all these years. After 4 years of waiting. Her boots clapped along the dock, still knowing the amount of steps it took to find the hidden set of stairs, as memories from four years before hit her, the hurt and guilt coming back in flashes.

But don't you believe anything you hear
If someone tells you I still ask about you
After all these years
No matter what they say, it's just not true
I don't spend all my days and all my nights just missing you

She hesitantly approached Hook's ship, knowing what she was about to do was going to ruin everything. Knowing that he was going to hate her for the rest of her life. She hadn't even reached his ship before she started chastising herself. Everything they had begun to build, the relationship that had started to form, it was going to be gone in an instant. She knew that it was for the better of her son but she could hardly bare the ache that she was feeling in her heart. She and Killian weren't lovers in a sense, but a few stolen glances and secretive kisses had sparked a potential for something so much more. She felt herself falling for him every day they were together. Everything was starting to look out for her.

That was until Mr. Gold found Bae; or as Emma knew him, Neal. Her life came crashing down before her eyes. Her son's father that had left her was now back in her life and, to her dismay, in Henry's life as well. And as much as she wanted to protect Henry from him, the two quickly bonded and after many long conversations, many of which ended in Emma yelling and storming off, they finally came to a decision on what to do. A decision she hated but knew that it was in Henry's best interest. And the reason she was about to be the cause of her own heartbreak.

As soon as she found the hidden steps she walked on board the Jolly Roger, Killian's gaze meeting her's immediately. "Afternoon lass," he said with a smile across his face. "Listen love, I'm glad you're here. I've been thinking a lot lately and there's something I need to tell you."

"Killian, I-"

"Emma, I love you."

She actually felt her heart skip a beat or two. Stop for a moment. Her stomach wrenched as the words left his mouth. Shock took over her face and her mouth stayed gapping at him. "Wh… what?"

"Emma, darling, I am madly in love with you. And I have been since the day we climbed the beanstalk. I know it may seem rash, but I had to tell you. I love you," he said while advancing toward her. She wanted to scream; tell him she loved him too because god knew she did. Her brain tried to wrap around what was happening as his lips suddenly crashed into hers, pulling her into a loving and desired kiss. She melted at his touch, kissing him back before she snapped back to reality and pulled away, ghosting her fingers over her lips as tears began to well up in her eyes. "Love, what's wrong?" Killian asked, visibly concerned.

She felt the tears slip down her face as she held his gaze. "I'm leaving Killian." His eyebrows scrunched together as he stared at her.

"Come again?"

"I'm leaving. I'm going back to New York with Neal and Henry."

His demeanor changed as she mentioned Neal. He took a few steps backwards, hurt clouding his face. "You're leaving me for him? For the coward that LEFT you all alone to rot in a jail cell? For the man that couldn't bear to come find you, even when he knew the curse was lifted?" His timbre gradually increased as he spoke.

"Don't give me that shit Killian! You KNOW how hard this is for me! Henry wants to be around his father and I can't be away from Henry any more than I already am. I hate that I have to leave, leave whatever we are, but it's what's best for my son, you have to understand that!" she said, the tears that had welled up in her eyes involuntarily falling down her cheeks, her body shaking with grief.

"Well what's best for you, Emma," he questioned. She crossed her arms over her chest, staring at the deck of the Jolly Roger.

"What's best for me is what makes my son happy."

Killian laughed darkly and met her gaze, shaking his head back and forth. "Well congratulations Emma. I hope you have a wonderful and magical life in New York with that coward. Now get the hell off my ship, because I'm done with you." Emma felt her heart shatter into a million pieces. But she couldn't hate him for feeling the way he did. She had hoped, maybe even wished on all the stars in the sky, they he would understand. But as hard headed as he was, much like her own stubbornness, she knew he wouldn't. She quickly walked off the ship without a word, making her way back to her yellow bug, her cheeks burning as the tears cascaded down her face.

I heard from a friend of a friend
You looked amazing in that long white gown
Flowers in your hair, barefoot in the sand
Your daddy almost broke down when he gave away your hand

That day a part of her died; she was never truly happy after that. Neal proposed a year and a half later. Although she said yes, in hopes that it would better Henry's life, she never loved him. She could never be capable of fully loving someone, unless it was Killian. He always held a part of her heart that she couldn't give away no matter how hard she tried. She sighed as she approached the stairs of the Jolly Roger, her foot cautiously feeling around until the magic swelled underneath her. With a few quick steps up the stairs she was standing on the top deck of the ship, the wind beginning to pick up as her hair tangled in her face. The sound of someone clearing their throat caught her attention as she turned to her right and saw Killian standing in the doorway to his cabin, eyes down, arms across his chest. His appearance hadn't changed much since she last saw him, but his presence still caused her heart rate to quicken.

"Ah, I heard you returned," he said coldly while taking a few steps near her, still not looking at her.

Emma nodded and kept her jacket flush against her skin, trying to keep the cold air out. "Listen… Killian… I'm sorry," she said somewhat quietly. His eyes finally met hers and she saw a difference in them. They weren't a striking and lively blue like before; the eyes that melted her core. His eyes were hardened, dark as night; dead. Her body slightly slumped forward as the guilt hit her. This was her fault, she knew it; and it pained her.

"Aye, of course you are. But, unfortunately it's not accepted." His tone was so emotionless, so lifeless. Emma swallowed hard and moved towards him, catching his attention.

"Killian… I'm so sorry for everything that happened that day. It killed me inside to have to do that. I loved you-"

Emma was cut off as a deep laugh left his mouth and he shook his head. "Well there's one thing you and Neal have in common. You claim to love someone, so you leave them! Yes lass, that makes perfect sense."

"I heard you asked about me," Emma blurted out, Killian's eyebrows rising in response, urging her on. "My… my mom said you talked to her."

"Aye, I was curious. Trust me darling, I want nothing to do with you," he said, his voice dripping with spite.

"If you don't care and you hate me so much, why are you still here?! Why haven't you left, sailed somewhere else! There's nothing in this damn town for you." Emma nearly shouted at him, her emotions beginning to boil over.

"That, lass, is none of your business anymore."

"It damn well is my business Killian. I still love you-"

"You can't just come back to town after all these years, come aboard MY ship and expect me to welcome you with open arms just because the bastard left you again!" Emma's heart beat stopped as the words spilled out of his mouth, a tear slipping down her cheek, as her final days in New York began to come back to her.

I heard from a friend of a friend
He didn't mean it when he took those vows
You've been staying with your momma for a couple weeks now
Been asking everybody about me

Things had been on a downhill spiral since they arrived in New York; Emma was distant, never fully herself. And in light of recent events, Neal losing his job and the complex threatening to evict them, the screaming matches had become a nightly occurrence. Everything was starting to fall apart and she could nearly sense what was going to happen. Emma was beginning to lose her patience, since she never wanted any of this in the first place, but having Neal leave her again was something she didn't want to deal with. Not when it would hurt Henry in the process.

"You really need to find another job," Emma said quietly as they sat at the dining room table. Henry was already asleep in his room, the clock creeping up on midnight.

"You don't think I fucking know that Emma?" Neal spat back causing Emma to narrow her eyes.

"We can't get evicted Neal! I don't make nearly enough to get us through this month," she said, her voice beginning to rise.

"No shit Emma! I'm trying my best over here!"

"BULLSHIT!" she screamed at him, throwing the magazine she was reading on the table. "You NEVER try your best and you never will! When things get hard you just up and leave!"

"I can't deal with this anymore Emma," Neal suddenly said coldly, causing Emma's eyes to widen. "I want a divorce."

"You're a fucking coward just like your father," she spat at him. "You can't leave me. Not again. Not when you KNOW about Henry!"

"Keep your voice down, you're going to wake him up."

"I DON'T CARE NEAL. I up and left everything back home to try and make this work for Henry. Are you seriously going to leave again?" she said, her voice breaking at the end of her sentence. She held his gaze and he slowly began nodding his head, causing her to bite the inside of her lip and look at the floor.

"I'm sorry Emma," he said while standing from the table and grabbing his jacket. "I'm going for a walk to clear my head. Tomorrow we'll figure out how to go about this." As soon as Emma heard the door slam shut she got up and headed for her room, the tears and emotions getting the best of her as she eventually leaned on a wall for support. Her body slid down the length of the wall as she landed on the floor, face buried in her hands, her sobs echoing in the hallway. Her life had officially fallen apart and the regret of leaving Killian was the only thing on her mind, as it had been every night for the past four years.

"Killian…" she said breathlessly, advancing towards him. He shook his head and kept his distance causing Emma's eyes to fill with tears again. "I love you."

"You can't do that Emma. You can't choose me now," he said coldly, thunder rolling in the distance as the dark clouds began to tighten in the sky.

"I ALWAYS chose you."

"Clearly you did not," Killian shot back as Emma felt her fist involuntarily clench at her side.

"Do you really not get how hard it was for me to leave?" she questioned, pacing towards him again. "To leave behind everything we were starting to build? A part of me died that day. I haven't been the same person since. I have regretted leaving you every day and I'm sorry that I didn't tell you sooner," her voice broke as the tears slipped down her face. Killian shifted his gaze from her, the sight of her crying not something he could deal with.

"What about ME Emma," he nearly growled, his voice so low and dark that it caused Emma to physically jump. "Have you considered what I had to go through? I had to watch you leave with that coward after I had just confessed my love for you. Do you realize how hard that was for me? I hadn't loved a woman since Milah. But here you appeared in my life and suddenly I felt happier than I had been in a long time. And then you were gone." Emma shifted her eyes away, knowing everything he was saying was true. "I have spent the last four god damn years thinking about you every night. That's why I never left. I hoped every day you would change your mind and return. Gods above, I never stopped loving you!" Killian's voice nearly cracked as he got the last of his sentence out. His eyes flooded with hurt; his appearance suddenly turning to a fragile state.

She felt the rain hit the top of her head as her eyes lifted to the clouds. A few drops quickly turned into a downpour as the rain began to descend on them. Despite the drastic change in weather they both stood on the deck motionless, staring intently at one another. Killian's breathing was heavy as his eyes pierced hers, emotions welling up inside her. The weather, the staring, the yelling, everything was cascading around her. The tension between the two was thick and before Emma knew it she felt her feet walking rapidly toward Killian. He stood his ground, preparing himself for what she was about to do to him but was surprised as she roughly grabbed the lapels of his jacket and pulled his lips flush against hers.

Her arms immediately linked around his neck and his around her back, pulling her against his chest as their mouths devoured one another. Killian pushed her up against the mast of the ship, his tongue trailing across her lower lip begging for entrance. Emma gladly accepted, parting her lips as their tongues danced around one another's. Emma let her fingers tangle in his wet hair as his fingers dug into her hip and his hook found the wood of the mast. She was the first to pull away, her lungs threatening to give out. Killian let his forehead fall against hers, his hand trailing up her side to cup her cheek as he ran his thumb over her skin.

"I love you so much," he whispered as he planted another loving kiss on her lips.

"I love you too," Emma responded, her gaze finding his. She could see a change in his eyes; they had been so dark and lifeless but had found their way back to the electric blue that caused her whole body to shiver as they stared at her. She bit her lip and let her hands fall to his chest, fiddling with the buttons on his jacket and slowly slid it off his shoulders, letting it fall in a heap to the deck. They held each other's gazes for a moment, the rain cascading down on them, tension and lust filling the air around them. In a swift movement, Killian placed his good hand under Emma's thigh and lifted her up, her leg's wrapping around him tightly as he held her in place and began walking toward his cabin. Emma's lips curled into a tight smile as she held herself against him, clinging to his shoulders so she didn't fall. Killian kicked open the door to his cabin and carefully carried her to the bed, laying her down gently and brining her in for another searing kiss.

Emma's hands trailed down his sides, her fingers slightly digging in, as she pulled him towards her, a deep sigh leaving her lips as she felt his legs on either side of her. Neither of them said a word, telling everything they were feeling with the looks in their eyes. She watched as he unclasped his hook from his contraption, the metal appendage hitting the floor with a ping. Emma lifted her hands to his chest, slowly working the buttons on his shirt open, noticing his stare keeping watch on her movements from under his lashes. She undid the last button and he quickly shrugged the material to the floor, letting it fall in a crumpled heap. Her hands ran down his chest, softly noting all the scars that littered his skin; scars from his past, his adventures. She smiled as his hand fell over hers, his lips meeting the top of her knuckles, his stare continuing to hold hers.

"Killian," she said breathlessly as he leaned down and captured her lips in his, his hand slowly maneuvering underneath her tank top to cup the curve of her breast, causing Emma to sigh against his lips. He pulled away and motioned for her to sit upright, peeling the leather jacket off her shoulders as she clasped her hands around his neck to hold her body off the bed. Killian laid her back down on the bed as the jacket fell next to the bed, his fingers ghosting over the trim of her tank top. With a simple nod of her head he carefully lifted the fabric over her head, his eyebrows wrinkling as he eyed her bra. Emma let out a small laugh at the look of confusion covering his face as she arched her back off the bed and reached around to unclasp it, slipping it down her arms and throwing it across the room.

"Emma… gods you're perfect…" Killian said in a hushed whisper as his hand moved to toy with her chest. Emma's back arched against his touch, her hands gripping his shoulders before reaching to the ties of his pants. Emma tugged at the laces, pulling them lose, her eyes meeting Killian's instantly as she failed to pull the tight material off him. She watched out of the corner of her eye as he quickly jumped off the bed to free his legs from the leather, Emma taking the opportunity to undo her jeans and shimmy them down her legs as well. Before she had time to begin to grasp the situation Killian was hovering above her again, completely bare, his body pressing tightly against hers. "You're so beautiful my love," he said against the shell of her ear, his lips leaving a trail of kisses along her jawline.

Emma's foot trailed softly up Killian's calf, electing a groan to be muffled against the skin on her neck. She smirked and shifted slightly under him, the friction between the two causing them both to gasp. "Emma, are you sure?" he asked quickly once his fingers looped around the hem of her underwear.

"Yes. God yes. I've wanted this for four years now." The smile that spread across Killian's face could have lit up the whole town, his grin spreading from each of his cheeks. He slid the garment down her legs and Emma shivered as a rush of cool air hit her core. Killian locked his gaze with hers as his hand gripped the curve of her hip, running his thumb over the soft skin. With a reassuring nod from Emma he moved his hips forward, taking her in one slow, long motion.

Emma couldn't stop the gasp that escaped her lips as he filled her completely, her hands wrapping around his back, clawing at his skin, wanting to feel him flush against her. All of him. "Killian," she said with another groan as he slowly built a slow rhythm with his motions. Love and desire clouded the air between them as Emma's eyes fluttered shut, her head pushing against the pillow as everything began building up inside her.

"I love you so much Emma," Killian said suddenly, bringing her lips to his as he continued to take her slowly, savoring every movement, wanting to draw this out and make it last. He wanted to make love to her; show her how much he loved her and make her feel everything he felt for her. He shifted his hips to hit her at another angle, a cry of bliss falling from Emma's lips as her fingernails ran down his back, her hips rising to meet his. She sensually felt over every muscle pulsing on his back as he arched against her, his breathing starting to fall into a jagged pattern. "Emma," he growled into her shoulder, nipping at the skin and trailing his teeth along her collar bone.

Emma felt herself reaching that edge, slowly, so close, every motion building up on the prior one. She wrapped her legs tightly around his hips, drawing him further against her. "Please Killian," she begged as she lifted her hips quickly, groaning as she did, her release beginning to creep up to her faster. Killian quickened his pace, his own release approaching, as he took her in hard strokes, a smile tugging on his lips as moans of pleasure continued to escape her mouth. "So close," she managed to breathe out, letting his name fall from her lips a few more times as they matched each other's rhythms.

"My Emma." The possessive tone that coated his voice was all it took to send her reeling over the edge, screaming out his name one more time and wrapping her legs as firmly as she could around him to keep him tight against her. With a few more hard thrusts he followed her, groaning into her neck as his hips fell motionless.

They both took a moment to collect their breathing, Emma letting her fingers run gently through his hair as she supported nearly all of his weight against her chest. He finally met her gaze, a proud smile spreading across his face as he leaned in and brought her swollen lips to his, noting the soft feel they still managed to give off. "Gods Emma," he said out of breath, resting his head against her forehead as their noses gently brushed one another's.

"This wasn't how I planned on today ending," Emma said with a chuckle, moving her hand to cup his cheek. "But I'm really happy it did. I love you so much Killian. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner."

"No apologies love," he said as he planted a kiss on the tip of her nose. "Trust me darling, I could sail to the ends of the Earth, visit every land imaginable, and still love you. Time can't erase you."

Tears of happiness welled behind Emma's eyes as his admission left his lips. Her heart fluttered and she bit the inside of her lip, feeling a sudden warmth spread through her body. Killian rolled off to the side of her and she promptly curled her body against his, draping her arm across his chest, wanting to continue to feel him against her; never let him go. She had made that mistake once, it wasn't about to happen again. Her whole body shivered as his hand traced invisible circles on the small of her back, the motion beginning to lullaby her to sleep.

"Stay with me tonight Emma," he said as more of a request than a question, although she was perfectly aware if she wanted to leave he would allow it.

"Always. I'm never leaving you again." Emma leaned her head against his shoulder, his steady breathing relaxing her, the feeling of his arm around her clouding her in comfort. "I love you," she said quietly as her eyelids fell shut.

"I love you too Emma." With a kiss to the top of her head he shifted his body to fully engulf her in his arms, holding her close, and falling asleep himself.