Love, Lust, Hate & Care, a twilight fanfic

*-*-*Love, Lust, Hate & Care*-*-*

*-*-*Chapter 1*-*-*

Summary: Bella hits her head and blacks out. While she's out, she has a nightmare that she thinks is real, but when she wakes up in the hospital, she finds out that none of it was real. Or was it?

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight. The characters might be a little OOC, but I hope they aren't too bad.

"I can't just forget things like that Isabella. I can't bury the past in my mind the way you can. With a clear mind, you can't choose what you know, because you remember everything." Edward snapped.

"Fine, remember every bad thing that's happened in your existence since you met me. But I hope you also remember every good thing that's happened since you met me. And when you remember how much being with me made you happy, let me know & maybe we can start over." Bella said before walking out the door & without looking where she was going fell down the stairs.

Bella looked around her & didn't like what she saw. Her friends, her family, even people she didn't know were lying on the ground, either dead or severely injured. And it was all her fault. If she hadn't cheated on Edward with Jasper, none of this would have happened. And then if she had stopped Jacob from hurting her, from beating her, none of this would have happened. And then to make matters worse, let Emmett be the one to take care of her, instead of Jasper, instead of Edward, none of this would have happened. Who did Bella love? Edward. Who did Bella lust for? Jasper. Who did Bella hate? Jacob. Who did Bella care about? Emmett. Love… lust… hate… care. Four completely different words describing one girl's feelings for four completely different guys.

Bella's eyes wandered & stopped when she found the one that she loved. Edward stood somewhere between 10 & 15 feet away from Bella, helping Carlisle tend to Alice. He looked like a god among humans with his perfect smooth skin, his glow & his immortality. As if feeling her eyes on him, Edward looked up with a half smile/half frown on his face. Upon seeing his facial expression, Bella tried to put an apologetic smile on to show that she stilled loved him, but all he did in return is glance over at Jasper & then back to Bella; and with a shake of his head, Edward turned his attention back to Alice.

When Edward looked away, Bella's gaze switched to the guy that her body lusted after. Jasper's body was cut & scratched in a lot of places. He had been attacked by Sam Uley, who had been in wolf form, & was barely recognizable. And if Bella hadn't been watching, she probably wouldn't have recognized him herself. And like with Edward, Jasper seemed to feel Bella's eyes on him. After repositioning himself, with a wince of pain, Jasper opened his eyes & stared at Bella. As she stared back, all Bella saw was lust. And as a wave of lust pulled at her, Bella tried to move to him, but couldn't do to the fact that Jacob had tied Bella to a tree so that she could watch as her whole world came crashing down around her.

And with a wince of pain herself, Bella unwillingly found Jacob's body in the mess & chaos. With a smirk, Jacob looked up at Bella. Walking over, Jacob pushed himself against Bella's body & whispered in her ear. "See what happens when you mess with a werewolf? Now I hope you're ready for some pleasure tonight. Because I know that I am." And with a sneer, Jacob pushed away from Bella & went to where Leah & Sam stood over Seth's mangled body.

With a shiver, Bella looked away from her now ex-best friend & toward Emmett. "Help me. Quickly!" Bella mouthed. And with a swift movement, Emmett was untying Bella & with another swift movement, he was running back toward the Cullen's house with Bella on his back. After a few minutes, Emmett slowed down & let Bella walk the last few feet by herself. "Wait here. Go upstairs, get some rest & wait. I'll be back with Edward; unless you would like me to get Jasper…?" Emmett said as Bella walked to the front door. "Edward please, and if he doesn't want to come willingly, make him come." Bella said. "Will do." Emmett said before turning around & running back to the clearing.

After watching Emmett disappear, Bella turned around & walked into the house. And with a sigh, she headed upstairs to Edward's bedroom. And just as she was getting to the third floor & Edward's bedroom door, Bella heard the front door open & close a few seconds later. "Let's get this over with. What do you want?" Edward asked rudely as he walked past Bella & looked out the window.

"I want to apologize to you for what I did. I never should have gone after Jasper when I was with you. I asked him to possibly put some lust into yours & my relationship, but it was misplaced & lust for Jasper grew inside me. I know now that I should have told you what happened, & that I should have gone to you when Jacob hurt me, both physically & emotionally, and I'm sorry that I didn't. But I hate Jacob. I care about Emmett & I lust for Jasper. But none of that matters to me as long as my love for you remains intact. I love you Edward. I have from the moment I first met you. Please forgive me & hold me in your arms & tell me you love me." Bella begged.

"How can I do that when I know that you've been held in Jasper's, my own brother's, arms? How can I do that when I know that you've been violated & I'm not your first? If you can give me an answer to those questions, then maybe I'll be able to give you what you want Isabella." Edward said crossly, not bothering to turn around.

"Forget that Jasper has held me. Forget that Jacob violated me in the worst way possible & do you really think that I had a choice after that? Just forget all of that & remember us before all of this ever happened." Bella answered walking over to him & gently putting her hand on his shoulder which he shrugged off.

*-*-*30 minutes later*-*-*

"Is she okay?" Rosalie asked. "What happened?" Jasper accused. "Is she hurt?" Alice wondered. "What did you do Edward?" Emmett challenged. "WHY IS MY DAUGHTER IN THE HOSPITAL AGAIN!" Charlie yelled, making everyone else stop talking. "She's fine; she fell down the stairs; obviously she's hurt; I didn't do anything; and she wasn't looking where she was going and fell down the stairs." Edward answered with a fake exasperated sigh.

"That's the last time that my daughter is hanging out with you Cullen!" Charlie exclaimed. "Let me decide who I do & don't hang out with dad. I'm eighteen now & I can decide for myself." Bella said trying to sit up, but falling back down.

"Let me help." Edward said helping Bella sit up. "Do you forgive me?" Bella asked in a whisper. "Forgive you for what love?" Edward asked, completely serious, but also in a whisper. "For cheating on you." Bella stated, confused. "Bella, love, when you fell, you hit your head. You haven't cheated on me." Edward said. "Are you sure?" Bella asked. "I'm very sure love." Edward said. "Oh my." Bella said softly. "Edward's right Bella." Jasper said. "You never cheated on him." He finished with a wink.

*-*-*End Story*-*-*

A/N: So, what do you think?