Author's Note: So when I watched Freddy vs. Jason, the scene where Kia implies that Freddy is…*lacking* it struck me as odd: Wouldn't it be Jason, the one swinging around a big ass three foot machete, who's compensating? This takes place in between Kia's last words and her getting stab-thrown into the tree, although I did take out the last part about Jason having this big ole thing…hehe.

"Think you're so smart huh, bitch?"

Lori and Will froze, with both of them injured, it would be impossible to out-run or manuver the dream demon. Unless, of course,

"Freddy!"

Kia had come back! Lori shrieked and screamed for her to leave, or for Freddy to come after her, despite Will's attempts to shush her.

After a moment of internal debate, the choice was clear.

"How sweet, dark meat."

Freddy spun and stalked towards Kia.

"No! Noo!" Laurie screamed frantically but to no avail, as Will succeeded in pulling her away towards the van.

Freddy snickered as he stepped sideways towards Kia.

"So you're the one everyone's afraid of?" For someone who supposedly wasn't scared, Kia sure seemed to be sure to keep at least five feet between her and the ever charming Mr. Krueger.

A flourish of his burnt arms and an incline of his head was all the answer he provided.

"Tell me something…what kinda faggot…runs around…in a Christmas sweater?"

Obviously not pleased by her assessment of his wardrobe choice, Freddy reached out towards her, enough to frighten Kia into stepping back but not enough to do any actual damage.

'Irritating little shit,' he thought, 'who the hell does she think she is?'

Unknowing of Freddy's growing frustration, Kia continued,

"I mean come on, get real. You're not even scary! You're not even scary," she taunted, her confidence swelling.

"And let's talk about the butter knives. What is with the butter knives? You trying to compensate for something? Maybe coming up a little short between the legs, Mr. Krueger?"

That was the breaking point. Lunging closer, Freddy yelled,

"HOW DARE YOU? YOU INSULT MY FASHION CHOICE, MY M.O, AND MY ABIBLITY TO BE TERRIFYING, THAT I CAN TAKE! BUT NO ONE, AND I MEAN NO ONE INSULTS FREDRICK CHARLES KRUEGER'S JUNK AND LIVES!"

Kia cowered in fear, knowing she had crossed the line, and that death would soon be upon her. However, instead of raising his right hand to tear her from navel to mouth1, he dropped his left hand to the clasp of his pants. With a triumphant roar of "Take that, bitch!" he dropped them to the ground…

Kia screamed.

Camp Crystal Lake had not two monsters about, but three.

Freddy laughed manicially, enjoying the pleasant breeze and the sight of Jason standing dumbstruck in awe behind Kia. Satisfied he had made his point, he pulled his trousers back up and did them up.

"I…I…I..uh…" Kia stuttered, open mouthed and stunned speechless.

Freddy snickered and raised a knived finger to point behind her, as Jason had regained his senses and was raising his machete above Kia…

A/N: Ha-freaking-ha. This gave me a hard time for a while, I had the idea but couldn't get the words out but once I did I had a little too much fun writing it :] Thanks for reading, drop me a review if you so desire on your way out.