Bella stared into the bible in perplexity. There had to be some way around this. True, she hadn't grown up in a religious household. Renee hadn't practiced anything officially, devoting herself to what she called "the free life", which meant that she didn't feel the need to obsessively worship. Charlie's membership to the Lutheran church in Forks had lapsed before her birth. So nobody had taught her anything about this stuff.
Sure, she knew the basics- right from wrong; don't kill anybody, that kind of stuff. But Edward claimed to have broken just about every rule out there, and that was what kept her waiting, waiting until a wedding night that was further off than she would have liked. And so she searched in this massively old tome, not quite sure what she was looking for. Flipping through at random, Bella came across the Ten Commandments in the Book of Exodus. So here were some basic rules, she thought. Lets see if there are some he hasn't broken. And so, she read silently, but wasn't picking up anything much. Annoyed, she flipped the bible shut and headed to the search bar.
As soon as google popped up, Bella punched in "The Ten Commandments". Flipping quickly through a few websites, she finally got a comprehensive list. With a grin, she printed this listing and tucked it into her pocket. Edward would be here in a few minutes, and maybe then she would find out what she needed to know.
"So, Edward, how was your day?"
"Fine, I suppose. Except that God damned Rosalie and Emmett were…busy…in the garage when I got out there, so I had to wait for them to finish before I could leave." He shuddered delicately.
With a sigh, Bella walked to the kitchen quickly. She pulled out her list. There was number three, quite simple.
3.You shall not misuse the name of the Lord your God.
Annoyed at losing one-tenth of her prospects for immediate gratification, she crossed out the third line on the sheet and walked back into the living room, where Edward was sprawled on the couch.
"What are we doing today?"
He grinned, curious about what she was up to. "Well, I thought we could go to my house. Esme and Alice want to talk about the wedding with you."
With a gulp, Bella nodded. "Okay, can we go now?"
Edward raised an eyebrow and smiled his crooked grin. "As you wish".
While they sat in the Volvo, Bella remembered some previous conversations with Edward. With another heavy sigh, she crossed out number six on her list.
6.You must not kill.
Edward's grin grew more perplexed. "What are you doing, Bella?"
She gulped quickly. "Umm, just going over some wedding plans. I picked out the flowers today, so I figured I'd cross that off." She had spoken much too quickly to pass that off as the truth, but Edward's mood was pleasant enough that he did not ask for more information.
Once they turned off the road onto the familiar path, Bella began to realize with chagrin that she had eliminated 1/5 of her options that would allow Edward to sleep with her before they were married. If she couldn't figure out something that he hadn't done, she would be in for a very long and antsy summer. And so she went to Alice.
"Alice, when was the last time that you and Edward went hunting?"
She looked at me in a pitying way. "I know what you're doing Bella. I saw it."
"Can you just answer a simple question, Alice?"
"Sunday, Bella. We went Sunday. So I believe that that removes option number four from your list."
With a low oath, Bella pulled out her list and put a thick black line through number four.
You shall remember and keep the Sabbath day holy.
"Alice, you know how this is going to turn out, don't you?"
She smiled smugly. "Maybe I do. Good luck, Bella. You may want to talk to Rosalie next. She can clarify number ten for you."
And so Bella stalked toward Rosalie and Emmett's room, she was thinking evil thoughts toward Alice. "Why can't she just tell me?" With a murderous sigh, she knocked on their bedroom door. Rosalie answered, clad in a red dress that mad Bella feel like a dishwasher by comparison.
"Umm, hi?"
"Hi, Rose. I kinda need to ask you something about Edward."
"Sure, come on in." She looked puzzled, but to Bella's intense relief, not furious.
"Sorry to interrupt whatever you were doing-" She really hoped that it wasn't whoever Rosalie had been doing. But Emmett was nowhere to be seen.
"Bella, it's fine. I was just putting on some makeup. Em and I are going out tonight. What did you need to ask me?"
"Umm, well…you told me that Edward's done a lot of bad things before. I'm just wondering if he's been particularly…covetous."
She laughed humorlessly. " You don't seem to know your fiancé too well, do you? Bella, he coveted you, he's been coveting humans who don't desire blood for years. Add car lust on top of that, and you've got the trifecta. Edward is very covetous."
Bella frowned tightly and pulled out her marker, crossing number ten off her list.
10.You must not be envious of your neighbour's goods. You shall not be envious of his house nor his wife, nor anything that belongs to your neighbour.
"Damn. Well, thanks Rose. Have you seen Esme around?"
"She's in the kitchen, considering napkin colors for your wedding."
"Okay, thank you. Bye Rosalie."
Her goodbye was met with the slamming of the door. Mood souring, Bella walked toward the kitchen slowly, not sure which error of Edward's would be clarified for her next. And not even sure how much she wanted to hear.
Settling down to tea with Esme, Bella began her questioning right away.
"Esme, I need help."
"With what, dear?"
"Edward seems to think that he's about as bad as it gets. I'm trying to,erm, prove to him that he isn't. That he has left some rules unbroken. With this."
And she took the list of Commandments out of her pockets and thrust it toward Esme.
"Well, Bella, I've got to admit, this is tough. He's done quite a few things here. But there are two that I've got to cross out for you."
"Oh no. Which?"
"Nine and two."
"Why?"
"Well, first with nine. You see, Bella, Edward lies to protect us. He's lied to nearly everyone he knew, fellows and peers. He lies to protect us, but sometimes it's hurt them. So he's done nine."
9.You must not give false evidence against your neighbour.
"And two?"
"Well, Bella... Edward doesn't seem to believe in God. But he is more worshipful of Carlisle than he is of some benevolent creator that he doesn't believe in. So I guess he has made Carlise an idol in his own way."
2.You shall not make for yourself any idol, nor bow down to it or worship it.
And so Bella narrowed her list down to four.
"Well, we still have a shot, right?"
Esme smiled nervously. "Sure, Bella. But you may want to see Emmett about eight. He's on his way in now. I'll leave you to it." And she was gone before Bella could reply.