Perfectly Clear
By: Jewel
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Five years worth of kisses
Are packed in your bags
This tiny moment fits
All the big things we ever had
And I can't quite pinpoint
When it left or what for
Love always steps lightly
Away from the door
-
This is the moment I've feared. I knew it was coming, mind you. I'm just afraid of regretting it.
But I know I won't regret it.
I just can't love him anymore.
His bags are packed, his guitar is on the front porch, and he's in the doorway. I know he saw this coming too. I can see it in his face that he was just waiting for the break.
I was so in love with him once. I was head over heels for him. But distance and time change a lot of things.
He changed, I changed, and we've lost that love we once had.
I look up at the silhouette in the doorway. The ghosts of our past are trying to drag back the old feelings, but there's nothing left anymore.
His eyes catch mine and for a second those years were gone and he was still the man I loved with all my heart.
But he's not. I know he's not.
I divert my eyes to the wall. The pale yellow paint is peeling off the wall. We've been meaning to fix that for a while now.
But neither of us is very good at fixing things.
The sun shines against his hair. It's that almost-twilight sunshine that peaks over the horizon.
I feel stupid trying to keep my mind off what's happening, but it's a defense mechanism.
He walks up to me and gives me one last kiss. It's so final. I couldn't even feel anything. The sparks must have died over time.
He walks back over to door and turns around to look at me. His lips open as if he's about to say something, but I shake my head.
"Don't regret it. It was beautiful and now it's…over. That's all there is."
He nodded in understanding, though I knew we both regretted what we lost.
His dark eyes stare into mine one last time. There are no tears, nothing held back. There's just nothing left anymore.
I walk over to the window and watch him drive away. I've done this a thousand times, but this time I'm not sorry.
Those last few moments we shared weren't awkward. We didn't say much. There was no awkwardness, just regret. Regret doesn't need to be clouded with words.
Because in that last moment when he looked at me, everything was perfectly clear.
I know it was short. And yes, I purposely left the pairing open. I couldn't decide on one. I was thinking Lilly/one of the Jonases, but I agree with whoever you were thinking of (unless it was Moliver or Niley, shudder). Please review!