I love writing storys based on the hysterectomy talk in bloodline and this is one of them. I think that it's a really wierd end but aaah...it would be nice if you could leave a review and tell me what you thought about it (:
Thanks to Malin and..Malin for the oppinion on the end and to Ella for the ideas.
He looks at me with hope, like everything's gonna be alright.. I wish it could be, but it won't. What I'm about to tell him, will ruin everything. Of course he won't show it. It's Luka we're talking about. The guy who never really talks about his feelings, just like I don't. But he had that glance of hope in his eyes when he was talking about our son. He had become a dad again and I'd become a mum, for real. Now he's just not a bump on my belly, he's for real. He's ours. I start to wonder for how long he will be ours and what will happen to us if he doesn't survive. I shouldn't be thinking like that but I do. I can't help it. It's in my nature.
Be careful. Things change. I should have known better. I let myself believe, for once, that I don't have to protect myself. It felt like this is the way it was supposed to be. Me, him and the baby. I stopped protecting myself; I let people into my life and it felt great. It's just that...when it disappears, when it goes away, it hurts so much. I've experienced that once before and I really don't want to feel like that again. Now I'm afraid, really scared that I'm gonna loose them both. What will happen if I do?
I'm
talking and asking questions, as any normal doctor would do, but
everything he's saying doesn't make sense. He's talking about
our son but it sounds like he's talking about a patient. It's so
unreal.
I ask him "Is one gonna be enough?" I have to know.
He looks confused and says "what?" Now there's no turning back,
"One baby" I hesitate for a moment and I see that the hope in his
eyes suddenly fades away.
Damn. "Um, my uterus wouldn't stop bleeding and Coburn did everything that she could but..." My voice trails off. Don't' cry, I keep telling myself. Don't cry. "You had a hysterectomy?" That's the word, hysterectomy. He figured it out and I nod. I'm to afraid to say something, my voice may break if I do so I nod and he says "well, all we need is one." He looks happy, like he thought that I would say something worse than that, but what could possibly be worse? I had had a hysterectomy and a premature baby. Things will never be the same.
We'll probably spend weeks in the NICU…and then what? What happens after that, when we leave, when we go home?