Title: Neji the Babysitter! Day 0: You want me to do WHAT?!

Rating: PG (for later)

Pairing: NejiHina

Warning: Since NejiHina is my favorite, just be warned of incest. I own no characters but Taka-chan.

Notes: This is a direct sequel to 'Waiting Is Hell' however you don't need to read that fic to understand this. This is also me trying to write a humorous fic. Tell me if I succeed or not!

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Day 0: 7:00 PM

"Neji…"

Neji blinked, looking up when he heard his wife's soft voice. It had been a peaceful evening in the Hyuga household, as peaceful as it got with a baby anyway. Which was to say that at the moment Takashi was being fed and therefore prevented from making noise of any kind and giving his parents a chance to enjoy a moment of silence. A moment, which Hinata seemed to feel, needed to be broken.

"I talked to Hokage-sama and she said I could start going on longer missions again." Hinata fidgeted a little, adjusting her hold on their son. Neji just nodded, wondering where Hinata was going with this. "So tomorrow I'll be leaving for a mission." Hinata rushed ahead before Neji could say anything. "It's just a C ranked mission since I'm just coming back, so I'll just be gone for a couple of days. Five days at the most."
Neji blinked, white eyes staring blankly at her. Well actually their eyes usually looked blank due to lack of color, and the fact that he was Neji and couldn't be bothered to show what he felt, but well you get the idea. "But Hinata… Who's going to look after Taka-chan?"

Hinata didn't often doubt her husband's mental capacity. After all he was a genius, the strongest Hyuga to be born in a generation. But like most men, he had moments where he could be very dense. "You'll be watching Taka-chan, Neji. Godaime arranged it so that while I'm gone you won't be called on any missions and we won't have to leave him with anyone."

Neji would have gone pale at his wife's words, if he wasn't naturally paper white already. Him, alone, with the baby, for five days? For one long embarrassing moment, Neji was afraid he might faint. Now in case anyone should wonder about Neji's fortitude, this is a common reaction amongst men everywhere the first time they hear they are being left alone with the baby for a protracted period of time without the backup of mommy. So Neji could easily be forgiven just this one for being openly shocked at the pronouncement.

"I-I'm going to watching Taka-chan? By myself?!" Without realizing it Neji's voice had risen to a not so manly squeak. However this had the adverse affect of surprising his son and causing the three-month-old Hyuga heir to start crying. This of course earned Neji a glare from his wife as she held Takashi against her shoulder, patting his back gently.

"There, there Taka-chan. Daddy's sorry he yelled… Isn't he?" Neji swallowed as Hinata glared at him for the fifth time in their married life and the second time that day. "And he's not gonna complain, is he?" He nodded quickly, for once honestly afraid of what Hinata might do to him if he disagreed. Seeing that Neji had finally seen the light, Hinata took their still screaming son out of the dining room. Once he was safely alone, or as alone as you got when your family can literally look through the walls, Neji let his shoulders slump.

"Five days?" Neji mumbled, letting his head tip forward, impacting the table with a dull thump. "I have a bad feeling about this…"