Don't own it, law and order that is or any of it's spinoffs of characters.

A/N: for those who don't know, my other pen name is mygrl but for some reason, I couldn't find my password so had to re-register as likeit. Anyway...this is a sequel to "I'll see you everyday". And yes, unfortunately, you have to read that first. Again, its' under my other name mygrl. Please bear with me. This is my first attempt at a multi-chapter story but I know where I'm going with it. Would love your reviews. Also, there will be a "shout out" so to speak for Obsessedwithstabler who asked me half jokingly to put something in. It will be there at some point. I promise.

"I'll See You Everyday Part II"

The wind was really whipping up a storm outside. He'd been living here for two and a half years now and he still couldn't get used to the sounds. The fact that he could actually hear the wind around him, see lightning strike from a distance, and wear a t-shirt in mid January. He packed up his things for the day, left his work at the office (another thing he couldn't get used to) and headed out the car. It was dark by the time he pulled into his driveway, glad, once again, that he could finally be alone with his thoughts. He made himself dinner, poured himself a beer, picked up the latest copy of Smithsonian Magazine (old habits die hard) and read until he was tired enough to go to sleep. He washed up, and did what he did every night. Opened his window, breathed in the air, and whispered "goodnight Alex". And he fell asleep thinking of her. As always.

/

She felt her eyelids closing. What time was it? 1AM? She sighed and glanced around the bull pen. Just a few detectives, here and there, a rookie trying hard to impress the Captain, even though he had long gone for the night...Jeffries, trying hard to finish up his last report before his vacation, and a few others doing whatever they normally did. She looked down at her latest case, almost solved, and she did most of it herself. She thought about that with pride, her ability to work on her own. She never wanted another partner. No one could ever be like him anyway, or come close. Ross was kind about it. The fact that she and Ross were the only ones who knew the truth...knew he really wasn't dead, kind of made a bond between them. The irony was not lost on her. Of all the people to bond with over the past few years, it was Ross. Ross who never had much patience for Bobby. Ross who couldn't understand Bobby's way of thinking, his way of solving. Yet, it was Ross who really supported her through the past few years, especially the first few months. Even now, every once in while, when she needed to hear Bobby's voice, she would sneak into the evidence room, pull out a tape of one of his interrogations, and just watch him. Once, after one especially trying case, she found herself late one night watching a tape of Bobby back in the early days. The "Deakins" days as she and Bobby referred to them. So, there she was, watching the tape and Ross walked in. He didn't say anything, just stood behind her watching. After a few minutes, she began sobbing, and found herself being comforted by her boss. He just held her as she cried. After she had stopped, he asked about that specific interrogation, and the next thing she knew, hours flew by as she regaled him with stories about Bobby's antics, Carver's frustration and just general information about Bobby and her and the "Deakins" days. She had never heard Ross laugh that much and when she left, she felt better, as if Ross had finally come to a better understanding of Goren.

It was Ross who convinced her to take the trips Bobby had asked her to in his letter. He gave her three month sabatical and cleared everything with the brass. Both she and Ross were well aware of the immensity of the secret they shared and neither had questioned the other's ability to keep it.

Every night, when she got home, the first thing she did was slip on the ring. It didn't matter that she was going to sleep, that in 8 hours she would have to slip it off again. She wore it to sleep and that was enough. On weekends, she would wear it all day and night. Her sister had once gently chided her "Why do you keep wearing your dead partners' mother's ring? I mean, I know you loved him, he loved you. But Alex..." She brushed off the remark, all the remarks that her family would make. They could never understand. Her one regret in life was that they had never acted on their feelings. She belonged to Bobby Goren heart and soul, almost from the beginning.

When the first year anniversary of his "death" had come, Alex spent the day with Lewis. She kept up her friendship with him and they both felt somehow connected to Bobby when they were together. As Bobby had requested in his letter, she sold his apartment but instead of giving Lewis some of the profit, she gave him the whole thing. Lewis fought her on it, but in the end, she won out. She was Bobby's beneficiary from everything else, including his army pension, and when it all played out, she was well taken care of. It was funny really. The pension she received from Joe was put away, saved for the future. But Bobby's money allowed her to live a little better than she had before. He had urged her to travel, and she had used his money for that. But she also did one other thing with his money, and she only hoped that he would have approved.

After Bobby was gone for about six months, she walked into a store in Brooklyn and walking out was Bobby's nephew Donny. He didn't see her. But she followed him. She followed him all the way to some seedy part of town where she witnessed him giving bottled water and a bagel to someone. Upon closer look, she saw it was Frank. Her mood darkened at the thought of all Frank and Donny had put Bobby through, and she was about to lash out when she heard what Frank was saying. He was clearly disoriented (drugs? Sick?) And Donny was comforting him;

"Dad, dad, c'mon, drink a little"

"Did you find him?"

"Dad.."

"Where's my brother? Donny, find my brother, tell him I need him"

Donny looked up towards the sky and then back at his father.

"He's dead. Remember. He was killed. We were there..at the memorial service. In the back"

"No, I don't remember. You're wrong... Find him...please...find my little brother."

She knew what she had to do. She approached Donny, who was scared at first, that she would turn him in. After much coaxing, she explained that Bobby had left her money, and while she wasn't offering any money per say to Frank, she would get him the help he needed, to get clean. She managed to convince Frank to go into rehab, and also got Donny a suspended sentence with time served. She hadn't spoken to either of them in about four months or so, but so far, for the past year, Frank was living a clean life and Donny was working janitorial at NYU in exchange for attending classes. She felt that it was the right thing, especially with Donny and that Bobby would have been happy about it.

But the constant ache in her heart was always there. It never went away, and never really lessened. She felt like a widow all over again, and in moments of pure honesty with herself, she realized that she missed Bobby more than she ever missed Joe. To her, Joe was a memory of a time when she was young and carefree and in love. They never had to weather the hard stuff and she wondered sometimes, had Joe lived, if they would have grown apart...been pulled apart by the realities of life. It struck Alex that she and Bobby prevailed despite the hard times, the times when life threw unmitigated shit at them. In the end, it was the realities of life that had made their partnership and their relationship stronger. Oh, she knew looking back she had probably been in love with him for a long time, but she was jaded, and so was he. To admit that kind of thing out loud was too much for them. So now she said it to him every night. And remembered his letter "somewhere, you and I are breathing the same air on the same earth". And that gave her some level of comfort. What she could not accept, could not grasp, was that he was out there, somewhere, and would never see him again.

A/N: Please bear with me. There will be other chapters to this, my first attempt at a multi-chapter story. Reviews anyone?