Title: My Nightmare of a Birthday
Author: DnKS – giRLs
Rating: PG
Pairing: MomoRyo and hints of others…
Disclaimers: not ours, no profit and… you know…
Warning: have you ever read any of our fic that's not OOC and/or pointless?
Hi! I'm Echizen Ryoma. I know you guys won't like a long introduction and I also don't feel like writing it so let's just pass that part and move to the point. I know some stories that I heard from my friend about their worst nightmares, but believe me, what I'm about to tell you is something surpasses all others. You don't believe it? Try it yourself! I think it will be hard for you to find an equal to my story.
OK, ready now? First, you must know that all the things that I write here really did happen! Oh, how I wish those are just my illusions, especially that part of Inui-senpai trying to sing a crappy love song. But now that I think about it, the worst part maybe when they tried to hang Karupin from the balcony. They just don't have a sense of humanity… I know Karupin is a cat, but… huh? What? You're confused? Oh… stupid me, well, I think I better tell you the story chronologically.
It all began with my stupid decision of telling my birthday to Momo-senpai. I should have known that the decision was good for nothing. I mean… it was acceptable if I told him when my birthday was since he was one of my closest friends, but it was highly unacceptable that he somehow thought that it was such a sin if I did not have a grand birthday party. Worse, he started to make preparation about what he called 'the greatest birthday party ever for Echizen Ryoma' project. Add that with those crazy senpai I had in the tennis club and you'll get nightmare. I mean it!
So, on to the story. Well, let's just say that after I told Momo-senpai about my birthday, he realized that it happened just in the same day as Christmas Eve. So he said something about making a Christmas party for all the regulars in my house and celebrating my birthday at the same moment. I had no complaints for I thought that a Christmas party would not get so bad. Hell, they were older than I was and I could behave myself in such kind of parties. It was only natural if I hoped the same thing from them, right? But maybe their opinion of behaving themselves differed from mine. And they said that I had no manner! Bah!
I started to doubt my choice of letting them hold a party at my place when I saw Inui-senpai mixing up something green in the laboratory, saying it was his special drink for 'the party'. My doubt rose even more when I saw Kikumaru-senpai giggling with Fuji-senpai with a suspicious box in their hands, saying that it was for 'the party'. Even I caught sight of Tezuka-buchou once with a bottle of wine in his hand, saying it was for 'the party'. And this is Tezuka-buchou we're talking about, a person who will never break any school regulation.
And so, for some times, 'the party' was the centre of conversation among us, the regulars. You know, it was rather creepy, the way they talked about 'the party' with some wicked glints in their eyes. At first I thought it was just my imagination, but no, dear friends… my senpai are all indeed insane. I knew that when 'the party' finally took place. Oh yes, here is the main point: the party!
I cannot say it was a party, though; it was chaos and evil in its truest form. It was my bad luck that my family were all away that day. Just great… and I was stuck with a bunch of crazy people whom I so fondly call senpai. My whole life is cursed, I just know it. I should come to the shrine more often after this…
So, the party began at eight; that was what we had agreed upon. I had prepared everything but I forgot to prepare myself for what was going to come. Or… maybe I just could not prepare it. So, I just stared in shock when I opened my door and saw Fuji-senpai in the tightest and shortest skirt I had ever seen and Kaidoh-senpai in his black leather outfit. My first thought was: I did not know that it was going to be a costume party, and my second thought was: OMG I had never known before that my senpai were gays!
More shocking facts to come. I was stunned when I saw Tezuka-buchou in a police uniform, Kikumaru-senpai with cat ears and tail, Oishi-senpai with a Santa costume - well, at least this one appeared kinda normal in the situation, Inui-senpai with chains all over his body, even Kawamura-senpai had a cigar between his lips and was holding a gun. But you know, the scariest happened when I found Momo-senpai in tuxedo kneeling before me, giving me a bunch of red roses and then kissed me in front of everyone.
That. Was. My. First. Kiss. DAMMIT!!!!
And my other senpai just laughed. I did not see any mistletoe… just why did he kiss me?
I asked him that and then he began the longest anecdote I've ever heard about how much he loved me and such. And I went….. (too shocked to say anything). And while I was standing there like an idiot, my beloved senpai were rummaging my house as if it was their own. We missed something called manners here!
The night deepened, and the party went crazier. I caught Tezuka-buchou and Fuji-senpai making out on the kitchen's floor. Someone said something about singing and they all decided it was time for karaoke. They forced me to sing! Those bloody senpai really had no mercy toward me. But at least I can say in pride that my voice was surely better than Inui-senpai's. I've told you about him singing a crappy love song, right? That was horrible. If you heard him singing that song with that kind of voice in front of you, you'll think that he's a psychopath who is after your life.
Oh wait… maybe indeed he is…
They too forced me to drink that green thing that Inui-senpai had made. It was not that bad, really, I just found myself unconscious for some minutes. Kikumaru-senpai and Fuji-senpai brought the box which I had seen before. It turned out that inside that box was their present for me. It was sweet, actually, to have someone giving you a birthday present, but… just why did they think that lingerie would suit me?
I asked them that - I should remember in the future not to ask anything ever again - and they answered.
"Why? Oh dear… because you're definitely an uke and this thing is crucial for you, besides, you haven't got any, right?"
I really wanted to smash their smiling faces that time but I could not. It was not because I still have some decencies toward them or such, rather it was because that time Kawamura-senpai somehow had managed to secure my arms and drag me along with him. What could I do with someone with power like his?
He brought me to the centre of my living room on where mightily stood a pile of presents. They forced me to open those damn presents and I said damn because they were so kind to wrap them in multiple sheets of papers. For all that I know, those papers were worth of some good deal of trees for fuck's sake!
And now, ladies and gentlemen, we're moving to another fact: the presents.
Just who the hell would give a first grader like me something like a false ID? Well, the answer is Inui-senpai. Said that if I wanted to go to a bar that could help. But I do admit that his work is good. The others gave me 'quite' normal presents, compared to what Fuji-senpai and Kikumaru-senpai had given me earlier. I got some coupons from one of my favourite sport shops, a video game that I've had always wanted to have, a new wristband that matched well with my regular uniform, a diary - though I had never had any before - and a cool watch that I could not wait to wear. Yeah, for a moment I thought that my senpai were such great people…
But that was before they tried to hang Karupin from the balcony!!!!!
They… tried to hang MY KARUPIN from the balcony because they thought it was CUTE! Hell! At that moment I simply unleashed my anger and went rabid like a psycho-lunatic thing. But I forgot the bottle my senpai had in their possession that time and they simply forced me to drink at least three glasses of that clear burning liquid.
Yes, my friend, they made me drunk!
I don't know what happened after that… I was drunk and lying forgotten on the cold kitchen floor of my own house for crying out loud! The next thing I remember is waking up the next day with a feeling like someone had mauled me so hard until my world was splitting apart. Hangover sucks! I can't understand why people like being drunk.
The bits and pieces of event that happened the night before came slowly to my mind. I swore I would kill those senpai the first time I saw them again. And when I remembered about Karupin, I gasped and searched for the cat throughout my house. I found her - oh, yea, Karupin is a SHE - purring happily in my bed. Now, that was strange. I realized my house was so clean and tidy as if the crazy party that happened the previous night was just an illusion. I almost thought 'oh shit I've become a wacko!' when I caught the sight of all the presents my senpai gave me with a note sticking on top of them.
I took the note and read. It was written there in the neat handwriting I knew belong to Tezuka-buchou these words:
'Echizen, we thank you for the party very much. Sorry that we have to leave you when you're sleeping. We hope you enjoy the presents and, once again, happy birthday. May you have a plentiful and successful year ahead.'
I would have smiled if I did not read the next sentence.
'PS: we would like to see you in that lingerie Fuji and Kikumaru gave when you come to next practice. Make sure you wear them!'
I could only stand there in total silence after I read the note. After that I think I passed out because when I opened my eyes again, the sun was high already. I felt like I was being inside of a dream, a very messed-up dream. But no, as I've told you, that was reality! This too was reality.
Yeah… I said this… what's now, you ask? Well, look at me! A week has passed after the party and now I'm going to have a tennis practice session with all the regulars. Damn these strings and ribbons make me itchy! Why do Fuji-senpai and Kikumaru-senpai have to give me black brocade lingerie anyway?
Oh well, look at the bright side, I think as I walk to my school and smirk, maybe they will die due to massive amount of blood loss. Then I can laugh like a maniac and chop their bodies and dump them to the sea.
Hey… people can dream, right?!
- the end -
(A/N: okay, we've told you it's stupid. Comments are still appreciated as well as trash and such. We know Christmas has passed but… duh… we just felt like writing nonsense, so this is what you got. Review! We know you want to… or at least throw something to us so we know that you read this story, but remember to throw them far above the ground… our piles of work recently have become higher than our head… duh…)