Title: The Dynamics of Our Relationship
Genre: Romance/Angst
Pairing: Comashipping, one-sided Librashipping and a few other, hinted at pairings.
Summary: The reason why he insulted, humiliated and mentally broke Ash down was because he loved him. He just couldn't afford to lose him, because if he did...he would never be able to forgive himself.
A/N: Now let's see where I can go with this; again, trying something new. Not so much anguish to make your head hurt, so don't worry. This was formally called 'His Idiosyncracy', so that's why Paul's nervous habit is so...uh, prevalent throughout this chapter. Anyway, feedback is always wanted, so please review...
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He needed him.
Paul brought the tip of his thumb to his mouth and slowly began to chew on the nail. There were people waiting for him to mess this relationship up. Screw up just once and then they could take him away. He stopped his nervous habit for a second and stared idly at the television set in front of him.
They didn't like him, why would they? And they definitely did not like him with Ash. They didn't like the idea of an arrogant, uncaring, sadistic person with their Ash.
But he had to keep him.
He resumed his nail bitting; apparently his 'treatment' of Ash was 'horrible'. He could only scoff at that–what the hell did they know. He never hit him (okay, on occasion he did), he never abused him, he never physically hurt him.
Either way, he couldn't risk losing Ash to any of them. At first he thought Gary was the one to watch out for–that damn researcher. Paul's eyes closed a little; they had a history together...when that man first showed up in Sinnoh, he could almost feel Ash slipping through his fingers.
And he hated that feeling–he couldn't do anything. He almost couldn't get him back, for some reason. He was powerless...
There was that girl gym leader too–and, unlike Gary, she was pretty vocal with her hatred. It was all well and good with him, though. He didn't much care for that chick in the first place.
Gary and Misty, he thought they would be the only ones he had to watch himself around. But, as always, he was wrong. There was one more person and out of all them, he was the real one he had to watch out for.
His brother. Paul frowned; as if Reggie didn't piss him off enough.
He couldn't believe that Reggie wanted Ash too. Paul lazily ran his tongue over his fingernail; that was the reason why he changed how he acted towards him. Reggie was there all the time. No argument, no fight, no disagreement slipped passed him. Ever.
Paul pulled his thumb from his mouth and sat back. His older brother was the main reason why he restrained himself from his usual, violent tantrums. If Reggie ever saw Ash walk out of this house sporting an all new bruise of any kind...well then, Paul knew he would be getting much more than a scolding.
Reggie could be brutal if a situation ever called for it.
Interlocking his fingers, he sat forward and placed his elbows on his leg. He had changed himself–even if it was just a little–to suit Ash (to please the others), because he did not want to lose Ash. With his empathetic brother, that hot-headed yet caring gym leader, and that overbearing researcher...the idea of losing him was always all too real.
And actually losing something (someone) he cared about, someone not so...worthless...
He had to make it work, because...
Because Paul really loved him.
He had a twisted way of showing it though, according to his brother. He couldn't keep his pointer finger from slipping between his lips as he thought. He had to have control–if he didn't, well...Ash just might end up with him.
Or her...
Or...him.
Paul bit down and slowly began tearing off his nail. Damn it, he needed Ash. He was the only one worth his while, one of the few who tried so hard to be nice to him and never gave up (the only other was, of course, Reggie). Ash just had that type of personality–the one that drew Paul so close, the one that actually made him smile, the one that made him fall head over heels in...
Love.
...And that's why he heaped insult, after insult; why he humiliated him, why he scoffed, jeered and mentally broke the other down...
Because maybe, if he kept doing all that, maybe Ash would always stay with him. He was compliant enough, he was submissive. That could only mean that what Paul had been doing was working.
And Paul wanted nothing but for their relationship to work. God, he wanted nothing else but that.
Paul drew back and spat the nail out from his mouth. He had his reasons–he just couldn't afford to lose him.
Ever.
Of course not.
Because if he did, he knew he would be lost. Paul leaned to the side and rested his head against the arm of his couch. If he ended up losing him, he would never be able to stand it. He would never be able to forgive himself.