To Remember
By luvnmarauders
Written for the Photograph Challenge
Severus Snape, an ominous man nearing his thirties, was scrummaging around his room like a little boy who had lost something so very valuable to him.
"Where is that confounded-" he growled to himself as he scoured the piles of "important items" that surrounded him. It was to be admitted that Severus was rather a pack rat, unaware of the piles of unnecessary objects surrounding him. I mean, truly, was it necessary to have that book of Charms in possession? Severus hardly used Charms, thinking it to be a frivolous subject, but he still had the book, extensively speaking of Cheering Charms.
"I want the Complete Book of Dark Art Material," the Dark Lord had requested-- no, demanded-- from Severus. He had it; Legillimency revealed it (even though he could fight it off with excellent Occulmency). However, the problem was the location of this book. For a book so thick, it seemed to be well-hidden in the piles of garbage that stuffed Severus' small room.
"Oh, I remember this book," Severus started, pulling out a rather dusty book with a groan. "Lovely book. Read it in third year." He recollected to no one in particular. Severus was one of those men who could be content in just soliloquizing.
"Lovely material," he murmured to himself, brushing the grit off the cover and wrenching it open. "Filled with brilliant stories of those under the Imperious Curse. Quite enlightening."
Snape held the book up to his face to examine a picture closely when suddenly, a little slip of paper fluttered down to the already messy floor that did not really need any more paper to clutter it up. Severus, with a curious cock of his head, peered at the paper, inquiring what it was.
It was a petite photograph of Lily Evans, his quite dear friend, even still when she was lying cold in her grave, never to stir again.
She was standing crookedly, her weight balancing on her left leg. Even dressed in muggle clothing, Lily looked quite lovely. She was wearing a rather short blue pleated skirt that billowed around her modestly as the wind whistled around her. A white short sleeve shirt inhabited her torso, her fire-red hair blowing about her, creating a red halo around her face.
As Severus remembered, she wore a delightful smile, wide and welcoming. Occasionally, Lily burst into girlish giggles when the wind carried her lovely red locks to one side of her head. She sometimes even waved to Severus as if she had forgotten that spat in fifth year.
Swallowing away the feeling clenching at his throat, Severus stared at the picture, an argument unfolding in his mind.
She is dead. She is dead. Lily Evans is dead, one voice whispered to him, torturing him until he felt as if his wits were being pulled away.
She's quite alive in your mind, Severus, another proclaimed quite gently. You still love her and she'll love you as long as you keep on remembering her.
Severus started nodding in agreement when a third voice choked the promises of the second voice away.
You are pathetic, it spat disdainfully, sounding remarkably like his master. You killed her. Get over it. You are an idiot, spending so much time in this fantasy you'll never have! Get over it.
A sob choked his throat. He knew the voice was right. He was wasting his time, continually thinking about Lily and how their lives would've been different without that disgraceful word he had uttered in their fifth year...
A waste of your time. A piece of your worthless past, the voice continued on cruelly, reducing Severus' mind into nothing. Throw this trash away.
The voice was right. This part of his life, the one that had filled with such joy, was a thing now lost, never to be gained again, especially when his one and only love was lying in her grave, never to return. Crumpling the photo in his hands, Severus aimed the crushed ball at a nearby trash can; it fell into the trash can neatly.
"Now, where is that book?" he murmured to himself quite shakily, his mind still nagging on that photograph that was probably still smiling and waving in the trash can. What would Lily say about this? She would be quite upset if she knew. What was she thinking now?
Severus glanced at the trash can from the corner of his eyes. He saw the photograph, crumpled harshly, sitting quite harmlessly on top of all the excess papers. He gulped nervously and started to debate with himself.
Just leave it! You were the one who threw it! the same harsh voice argued, leaving Severus in a state of numb shock and sorrow.
Memories are something you should hold dear, something you should never lose, another voice whispered, nudging Severus back to that trash can. Even if you lost Lily. don't lose her memory... You know that.
Swallowing nervously, Severus made his way towards the rubbish bin and shakily drew out the crumpled photograph from all the other rubbish. He smoothed out the picture and stared at it for a while, studying Lily's bright and lovely face, still smiling away. As he was about to store it a rather safe place, Severus discovered writing on the back, a note from his Lily.
Dearest Sev, it read kindly, mentioning his old childhood nickname.
Everything's quite lovely in France, but Petunia is complaining constantly. She says it's much too hot. You can't expect Petunia to take joy in the most simple things, can you? I'm finding it easy to ignore her whines.
France is quite nice; the views are so pretty. I think it's the most wonderful place in the world. I'm thinking of coming back later, maybe with you? We'll have loads of fun. Well, I'll write more later!
Love,
Lily
A quiet and sorrowful smile arose on Severus' face. Once upon a time, Lily had been kind to him, been his friend, loved him for who he was. So many recollections of that time brought him great joy. He loved to remember those moments.
Quietly, Severus tucked the picture into the desk drawer, telling himself to remember of the photograph and the memories of his dear love, Lily Evans.
Seventeen years later, after Severus Snape's most shocking death, the photograph of Lily Evans continued on smiling and waving, waving for the one who had so desired her.
The End.