Lord of the Rings: Return of the King (the true story)
(We like the word spoof, but it's been used too much, so let's just go
with, "the true story" Sounds so much more dramatic)
By: EvilSmiley, Fuzzy, and ravagedSTAR
THE BIG DISCLAIMER EVERYONE LOVES TO READ: This is for fun. If you don't have a sense of humor or if you are offended by the mistreatment of your favorite LOTR characters easily, then don't read this. Don't flame us or hate us because we have a sense of humor. The movie was way too long. We had to come up with something sitting there in the dark movie theater, with everyone's faces so close. We're horny teenagers. We think about this kind of stuff. If you don't like it, then too bad. No one is making you read this. Go on ahead and read more "mature" fan fiction. Are you annoyed by our story anyways? Well, go ahead and flame us. It just adds more laughter to our lives.
Chapter One
It was a lovely day. The skies were clear and bright. The lake was emerald green with shafts of light bouncing off the light surface. A gentle breeze stirred the dewy grass. The trees danced the dancing dance. Sméagol rose up from his knee and glanced into his lover's eyes. He caressed Deagol's hand as he leaned forward to seal the engagement. Sméagol was fully aware and enjoying the sensations of Deagol's tongue when he suddenly felt Deagol convulse.
Worried, he drew back to survey Deagol's face. Deagol was turning red and the rowboat started rocking with Deagol's convulsions. Sméagol tried to pull himself free to steady the mangy boat, but Deagol would not let go. Suddenly, Deagol lost his balance. Sméagol's heart skidded as he tried to help Deagol regain his balance to no avail. They plunged into the cool, murky water.
Sméagol was a strong swimmer, though Deagol was not. As Deagol cried with alarm and splashed noisily, Sméagol regained his calm. Sméagol set on returning to the faraway shore, but as the inexperienced Deagol gasped with panic, he unexpectedly drew Sméagol down with him into the muddy water. Sméagol fought himself free with great difficulty, but after gulping a breath of air, he dove down again to look for Deagol.
He was already still. In the depths of the lake, Sméagol already knew the truth, but he refused to accept it. Gasping, he bore Deagol to the shore, gently settling him onto the warm grass. "Deagol?" Sméagol whispered. "Deagol? DEAGOL!" He was too late. His fiancé was dead. Filled with remorse, he stared at Deagol's unmoving body. Yesss.it was too late. There was nothing he could do.
Grieved, he looked back once more at Deagol's beloved body. Something caught his eye. The intense morning sun had struck the golden engagement ring in a becoming way. How shiny it was...how beckoning. He kneeled down next to his deceased loved one and unhesitatingly pulled off the ring.
He placed the ring into the comforting folds of his fingers, stroking it lightly as though reassuring the dazzling piece of gold of its previous barrer's unfortunate death. Sobs rose, unwanted but necessary. Sméagol promised himself to preserve the memory of his Deagol forever through this ring. As he slid on the ring with a smug smile, he wondered at the ease with which it fit his fingers, and stayed there.
THE BIG DISCLAIMER EVERYONE LOVES TO READ: This is for fun. If you don't have a sense of humor or if you are offended by the mistreatment of your favorite LOTR characters easily, then don't read this. Don't flame us or hate us because we have a sense of humor. The movie was way too long. We had to come up with something sitting there in the dark movie theater, with everyone's faces so close. We're horny teenagers. We think about this kind of stuff. If you don't like it, then too bad. No one is making you read this. Go on ahead and read more "mature" fan fiction. Are you annoyed by our story anyways? Well, go ahead and flame us. It just adds more laughter to our lives.
Chapter One
It was a lovely day. The skies were clear and bright. The lake was emerald green with shafts of light bouncing off the light surface. A gentle breeze stirred the dewy grass. The trees danced the dancing dance. Sméagol rose up from his knee and glanced into his lover's eyes. He caressed Deagol's hand as he leaned forward to seal the engagement. Sméagol was fully aware and enjoying the sensations of Deagol's tongue when he suddenly felt Deagol convulse.
Worried, he drew back to survey Deagol's face. Deagol was turning red and the rowboat started rocking with Deagol's convulsions. Sméagol tried to pull himself free to steady the mangy boat, but Deagol would not let go. Suddenly, Deagol lost his balance. Sméagol's heart skidded as he tried to help Deagol regain his balance to no avail. They plunged into the cool, murky water.
Sméagol was a strong swimmer, though Deagol was not. As Deagol cried with alarm and splashed noisily, Sméagol regained his calm. Sméagol set on returning to the faraway shore, but as the inexperienced Deagol gasped with panic, he unexpectedly drew Sméagol down with him into the muddy water. Sméagol fought himself free with great difficulty, but after gulping a breath of air, he dove down again to look for Deagol.
He was already still. In the depths of the lake, Sméagol already knew the truth, but he refused to accept it. Gasping, he bore Deagol to the shore, gently settling him onto the warm grass. "Deagol?" Sméagol whispered. "Deagol? DEAGOL!" He was too late. His fiancé was dead. Filled with remorse, he stared at Deagol's unmoving body. Yesss.it was too late. There was nothing he could do.
Grieved, he looked back once more at Deagol's beloved body. Something caught his eye. The intense morning sun had struck the golden engagement ring in a becoming way. How shiny it was...how beckoning. He kneeled down next to his deceased loved one and unhesitatingly pulled off the ring.
He placed the ring into the comforting folds of his fingers, stroking it lightly as though reassuring the dazzling piece of gold of its previous barrer's unfortunate death. Sobs rose, unwanted but necessary. Sméagol promised himself to preserve the memory of his Deagol forever through this ring. As he slid on the ring with a smug smile, he wondered at the ease with which it fit his fingers, and stayed there.