The City 12:47 PM
Pete smiled to himself as he set himself down for a seat at the local pizzeria, nothing like a large meat lovers pizza with extra cheese to celebrate successful evasion of law enforcement! However as he waited for his Italian disc of deliciousness, someone had snuck into the building.
It was the shadow thief Popple, he had also recently evaded law enforcement, but unlike Pete he wasn't here to celebrate with a spicy pizza pie, he was here to pick pocket some unfortunate customers. And unfortunately for Pete, he was the only customer there, which he did find odd.
Slowly the small bean thief reached for Pete's exposed wallets, unfortunately for the thief Pete caught wind of his little scheme VERY quickly.
"What's the big idea punk?" Pete said as he grabbed Popple by the throat and stared him right in the eye, "If you want a pizza, use your own money!" the fat cat said with a low growl as he wound up a fist to pop Popple right in the jaw.
That was until the pizzerias head chef was launched over the counter and behind a table, right after followed by a short disproportioned man in a red suit hopped up onto the counter. Big rabbit ears pointed up, and a wild grin on his face, the Noid had just successfully taken down another pizzeria.
"Grrrr, how am I gonna get a good slice if punks like you are wreckin the place?!" Pete said furiously as he grabbed the Noid by his throat and held him next to Popple. "Well I guess I taught both of you a lesson in messin with a REAL punk" Pete said, the Noid and Popple simultaneously looked at eachother and gulped audibly.
FIGHT!
From the window of the pizzeria flew Popple and Noid, and right into the side of an office building, civilians immediately scattered away from the ensuing battle. Just as the two short misfits rose Pete was already making his next attack, this time rolling like a boulder towards them.
Popple ran down the sidewalk screaming like a coward, while the Noid pulled out a comically large hammer and wound back like he was up to bat for a baseball game. Before he could swing he was flattened like a bug under the weight of Pete.
The fat cat slammed against the wall with a loud thud, but he got up quicker then most would expect and spotted the still running Popple, "Oh no you don't!" he said as he grabbed the sidewalk and flipped it up like a carpet.
The now flowing ground launched Popple into the air and right into Petes grip, the shadow thief immediately had his head bashed in by Pete's sheer amount of strength. Pete dropped the small bean man and pulled out a golf club from hammerspace.
He positioned himself, all was quiet, this was Pete's winning putt of the match, and with a graceful swing of the club Popple flew off into the distance, from seemingly nowhere a crowd of people clapped approvingly.
The Noid picked himself up and growled angrily at the fat cat, he pulled out his ice pack and chuckled madly to himself. Pete only smirked as he put up his dukes, it was fairly useless in this case since the Noid had just launched a massive gust of freezing wind at him. Pete thought fast, he pulled up his gut and took a deep breath, and unleashed a mighty gust from his lungs, sending the cloud back at the Noid freezing him in place.
Pete walked up slowly to the frozen body and pulled out a cigar, he immediately lit it. Silently he contemplated actually smoking it, he decided not to and put it out on the frozen head of the Noid, and somehow that melted him out of his icey shell. The Noid grunted furiously, immediately from hammerspace he pulled out a hammer twice his own size and in one swift motion flattened Pete like a pancake.
The Noid then picked up the flattened Pete, brought him into the pizzeria and began dumping cheese and pepperoni on him, he proceeded to toss the flattened cat into the oven. Almost immediately the timer dinged, the Noid pulled out a pizza Pete's face on it, the Noid chuckled to himself. Pete Immediately popped up back to his normal self, and with a scowl on his face threw the Noid out of the building once again, and in the same spot too.
Meanwhile in a far off Apartment Building
The Tick and his faithful sidekick Arthur sat comfortably on their couch, drinking coffee, the Tick was actually sifting through the mail that came in that day.
"Arthur! I got a letter from my pen pal!" The Tick said excitingly as he put down his coffee and opened up the envelope.
"Well what's it say Tick?" Arthur said curiously while he got up to refill his mug.
The letter lovingly wrote.
"Dear Tick,
How're you? Won't be fine when I get out of here I'm still confined to my holding cell, cancers still healing up fine still working on not looking like Freddy Krueger's better looking cousin though. Maybe if you didn't throw away my damn clothes. Anyway, I'm doing fine, currently planning my escape with the voices in my heads, hope to see you again for another day of shenanigans and your death.
From your favorite merc
Deadpool"
"What a nice letter!" The Tick said, oblivious to how passive aggressive the letter was, or just plain aggressive. The Blue Beacon of justice reached for his coffee, but it was immediately destroyed as a small green man crashed through the window, also taking out the table.
"NO! MY COFFEE, WHY MUST THE CITIES INTERNAL SQUABBLES CREATE SUCH INJUSTICE!" The Tick yelled to the heavens as he leaped through the broken window and began running down the streets, "I WILL AVENGE YOU COFFEE!"
Arthur walked back into the living room slightly annoyed by the Ticks antics, "Darn it Tick, used the door!" Arthur yelled out the now decimated window.
Meanwhile, at the Pizzeria
Pete was pummeling the Noid with absolute ease, in fact it was so easy, Pete was SLEEPING while he did it. The Pizza hater growled angrily, then he remembered something from his past escapades, he grinned as he held his hands out in front of him and blasted with ice magic.
The Rabbit looking freak dropped out of Pete's grip as his face was now frozen, immediately he pulled out a foreign object and smashed it into the cats frozen face. Pete's face now free looked around to see the Noid atop a high roof, taunting Pete.
The fat cat was about to climb up there if he hadn't noticed something on the ground in front of him, a small black bomb with an N written on it, and its fuse was just about to go out.
Before Pete could even dash away comedically, a blue blur inadvertently kicked the bomb down the street where it promptly exploded. That blur was none other than the Tick!
"Okay Mister Big, Fat, and Furry you're going to jail for disturbance of the peace, vandalism of a public street, and spilling. My. COFFEE!" The Tick said sternly poking Pete's cat like nose.
"Oh yeah bub? Well I'd like to see you try!" Pete said defiantly as he poked the Ticks nose much harder.
But the intensity of the situation soon died out as a high pitched voice cut through the entire area.
"HEY!" All three of the fighters turned their attention to the voice, they weren't expecting was for the voice to be from a small orange spike ball with a face. "Who threw this bomb!?" The Don said as he slowly held up a small wooden doll.
"The explosion was so loud YaYa!" The Don Yelled with tears of anger in his eyes, "So which one of you did it!?"
Both the Noid and Pete immediately pointed to the Tick who looked extremely nervous.
The Don gently put his precious doll against a lamp post, then glared at The Tick with such intensity that it was almost comedic. "Okay then . . . I'M GONNA TAKE YOU OUT!" The Don shouted to the heavens as he grabbed something from behind his back, and with a single swing he was dressed in black armor, one of his eyes closed as if gouged out. He had also now been adorned with short black hair, an old looking mechanical hand, and his regular hand was wielding a blade almost bigger then the Tick himself.
"You now face Don Patch, the Black Swordsman!" The Poprock said in a more grizzly tone, as if he had just come from the gaping maw of war.
"Well you my short orange for face The Tick!" the Blue Beacon said righteously as he got into a fighting stance.
While those two were talking Pete had run into the building the Noid stood atop, it was obvious to the aforementioned Pizza Hater that Pete was trying to sneak up on him, the Noid grinned evilly as he had already made plans to set a trap.
But back on ground level The Tick was having a tense stare off with the Hajikelist. This lasted until Don Patches single eye closed, signaling The Tick to blurt out, "AHAH, YOU BLINKED!"
Patch's eyes shot open in surprise, he immediately closed both of them again and grit his teeth, he proceeded to jump high into the air and held his sword back, "YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!"
The wind howled fiercely as The Tick held his arms up to block the oncoming blade, and said blade broke in half like it was mere styrofoam . . . mainly because it was styrofoam. Patch gasped as he watched the broken piece of the sword hit the ground.
"YOU'LL PAY FOR THAT!"
Don Patch jumped onto the Ticks shoulder, slamming his fist onto the Blue Beacons face and grinning. The next moment Don Patches arm opened up and a rubber ball shot out right off of the Ticks face and into Don Patch's. The Pop rock launched off with a big mark on his nose, he had somehow reverted back to his usual self rather than a cosplay.
Don Patch sat up rubbing his aching back, and suddenly began crying like an infant. Even the Tick didn't know how to react to this, and he's the Tick!
"Uh- Come on don't cry! It's just unprofessional!" The Tick attempted to calm down his foe but honestly didn't know how to handle the situation.
But now that the Ticks guard was down, Don Patch whipped out a pair of machine guns and aimed them directly at Ticks eyes. The City's hero blocked the candy with his arm, and while it was pathetically weak, it was still substantially annoying!
The Tick winded back his fist and socked Don Patch square in the nose, knocking him around the area like a ricocheting rubber ball. The Don pulled out a rocket launcher while still in the air, making a perfect landing behind his foe he hit The Tick with a massive rocket, as the smoke cleared it was immediately apparent that it did absolutely nothing to him.
"Oh boy this isn't good" Don Patch said, sweat beading down his face, "But I shouldn't worry, the main character always comes prepared!"
Don Patch pulled out a green onion, otherwise known as The Don Patch Sword! Dashing towards his foe Don Patch prepared his mighty blade for a multi-hit combo, The Tick responded by taking up a defensive stance. The Hajikelist began his assault with a flurry of powerful slashes, then continuing by slashing at The Tick from all angles, and finally topping it all off by hitting the Tick with a blade strike strong enough to knock him off his feet.
With a loud thud all was silent, the Tick spawled across the ground, Don Patch put his mighty blade in the scabbard he now inexplicably had. The silence snapped like a twig as the Tick made an echoing shout of pain, gaining the attention of Don Patch.
Nick wasn't damaged slightly, not even a scratch on his suit, the hero rose up and rubbed the back of his neck, "You hit hard sun shaped neerdowell."
The Tick began making a sprint for Don Patch, ready for another clash, Don Patch replied by sprinting forward as well. The Don Patch sword met with The Ticks fist, a struggle of strength and stamina was now taking place, both brave warriors of heroism were locked in position, neither one ready to yield.
Meanwhile back on the unnamed building, the Noid had prepared an ice trap for his fat cat foe, he had even set up a lawn chair to enjoy the show. And as if it was scripted, Pete flew from the door, and onto the ice where he had no control of his movements.
The Steamboat Captain slid off the edge of the building, much to the enjoyment of The Noid. However his maniacal chuckling would soon end as Pete, the toon he was, reached out past the limits of a normal human (let alone a cat) and grabbed the Noid by the throat. The Noid choked out a gulping noise, as he was returned to his favorite position of being joked by a very angry cat.
Pegleg Pete slammed into the ground Noid first, then using his bouncy body he sprung off the ground and preceded to ground pound the Noid. The Cycle continued twice more before Pete bounced away from his foes position.
The Pizza Hater was displeased with this turn of events, so as an act of rage he pulled from Hammerspace, a hand full of Noid Bombs, along with his trusty mallet. Doing his best pitching machine impression the Noid threw the bombs at Pete at insane speeds, his fat foe only responded by dodging in manners only ae toon was capable of, after which he proceeded to bounce a bomb back at the Noid using his massive gut.
The Claymation Character spun his hammer around, now doing an impression of a top, he deflected the bomb away from himself . . . and directly towards the still dueling Don Patch and Tick.
Don Patch made a surprisingly impressive reaction and cut the bomb in half with the Don Patch sword, however this only made the bomb explode, launching the Don through the air like a graceful dolphin leaping from the water . . . if said dolphin was also on fire and screaming. The Tick on the other hand was only knocked away into the building, not damaged, only left in a very aching state.
Don patch got himself up shakily, dusty from the explosion, the gears violently and loudly turned in his head as he saw his other two opponents, and also saw the Noid with those bombs.
"So it was you who threw that bomb!" The Don said as he looked at the Tick who was now up and staring at the other fighters, "Heh, sorry about that little misunderstanding, but don't worry! The main character'll handle these guys now."
Don Patch ran towards the Noid first, his fists ready to knock this rabbit out with one punch. However the Clay Combatant had other plans, he pulled back his mallet and slammed it over Don Patch's head flattening him. Or so he thought, the ground under him rumbles as Don Patch exploded out of the ground dressed as a mole.
"DON PATCH MOLE ATTACK!"
The Noid was launched into the air screaming like a small child, the annoying shrieking only became louder as the Pizza Hater saw the Poprock Prince flying straight towards him in a fighter jet!
"DON PATCH FALCON ATTACK!"
The Noid was destroyed in the air, explosives and bullets hitting him from all over, eventually the onslaught stopped and the Noid was allowed to fall to the ground. But below him Don Patch waited, wearing a baseball uniform, even stranger was that the area around him was a baseball diamond, and even stranger Pete and the Tick were with a group of softball players wearing the same uniform. The next thing he knew was that a baseball bat was only a mere centimeter away from his face.
"DON PATCH PROFESSIONAL BASEBALL ATTACK!"
The Noids face was caved in by the bat making hard contact; he was launched through the air like a red, clay bullet straight out of hell itself. He shot out so far that he was but a mere spec in the sky.
The Don sighed and stared at his team, with a smile he said "Okay team, practice is over let's break for lunch!"
Almost as if a jump cut had just occurred, the whole baseball team (Tick and Pete included) were eating homemade bento boxes. Pete had a blissful smile on his face as he prepared a set of chopsticks to eat his meal, until however he came to a sudden realization!
"Hey I don't know how to use these!"
Don Patch's face froze up in surprise, "YOU SAW THROUGH MY CLEVER ROUSE!"
The next thing Pete knew Don Patch and the nameless baseball players were armed to the teeth with guns, "Okay boys this is what you've been trained for! Open fire!"
A bullet storm started, with Pete being the main target, dropping his box lunch the fat cat ran for his life as the bullets followed him in usual cartoon fashion. The Don opened his mouth wider then humanly possible, and a missile barreled out of his mouth and began tracking down Pete.
Pegleg turned around and held out his gut, the rocket indented into his bulbous belly and bounced right off, soaring through the air and landing right on top of Don and the team.
The smoke of the explosion cleared up, leaving only a dusty Don Patch, he struggled to his feet but a blue clad hand pulled him up to his feet.
"Allow me to help chum! We heroes have to stick together!" The Tick said righteously now taking a fighting stance towards the toon.
Don Patch grinned "Heh! I guess I could use a sidekick for this!"
It was two on one now, this street brawl was escalating quickly, but what happened to the Noid when he was launched away you may be wondering.
Meanwhile, miles away from the city, over the ocean
A tall imposing monster hovered high above the ocean, his bug like exoskeleton shone in the sun, it was none other than Cell, the perfect lifeform.
Unfortunately after his battle with a massive blob monster, he was correct in the Chaos Emeralds being annihilated by his attack, so the next logical decision was to absorb the energy of powerful warriors and continue with his triumphant return.
And lucky for him, just as he was about to search for a source of high energy, something was flying straight towards him. Cell held out his hand and conveniently caught the Noid by the neck, right after he looked in the direction Noid came from and sensed a massive gathering of energy. He didn't know why but said energy sparked a large amount of rage in him.
The Noid was unable to resist his new captor stabbing his tail into his gut, and sucking out every ounce of energy inside him, leaving nothing but the Noids red suit.
The suit was dropped and allowed to fall and flutter through the air, slowly landing on the ocean surface, meanwhile the Bio Android only grinned.
"That red gremlin creature may have been only a small ki blasts worth of energy, but the energy gathered over in that city will be a buffet for me" He thought to himself
In an instant Cell disappeared, soon this battle of victors would only escalate further . . .
Back at The City
Pete charged towards the duo before him at the speed of a bullet train and Don Patch, realizing the danger, hid behind the Tick with full confidence of his safety. Pete made direct contact with the Blue Beacon, and immediately trampled him, while it did no damage to the Tick it did however crush Don Patch under him.
The Tick got up to face his fat cat foe, who was now making a second charge for the Tick, little did the hero know, Don Patch was rather sore about the event that just transpired.
"Hey I thought you were mighty and stuff! Then why'd I get hurt with you protecting me!?" Don Patch shouted out like an angry child, before kicking the Tick into Pete, sending them both tumbling down the street.
Immediately after Don Patch leaped into the air brandishing a mallet and flattening Pete like a pancake, and conveniently enough Pete was inside a giant frying pan with a massive slab of butter melting over him. The Don tossed the cat into the air and launched him towards the Tick using the frying pan, Nick immediately wound back and punched Pete back to Don Patch. The Hajikelist in reply had turned into a trampoline and bounced the cat back with almost twice the force.
Not wanting this to continue further Pete stuck his gut out to send the Tick back a few feet, and before Don Patch could strike Pete down with his green onion sword the toon turned into a massive dragon!
The Tick caught a massive scaly foot trying to crush him, holding his ground the hero pushed the foot up and almost flipped Pete onto his back. Keyword being almost as the draconic toon launched the Tick into Don Patch and down the street. With a strong motion of his wings a massive gust of wind further pushed the two goofball heroes down the street.
Pete took a deep inhale and unleashed a torrent of fire that flooded down the streets towards his opponents.
"Don't worry, I have a fan!" Don Patch said heroically as his mouth opened up to reveal a girl in her teens with thick glasses, and long black hair tied in pigtails. Her t-shirt read Pyromaniac with a heart ending it, she began squealing loudly as she ran towards the fire.
"OH MY GOSH I'M YOUR BIGGEST FAN CAN I HAVE YOUR AUTOGRAPH?" The girl shrieked obnoxiously.
The wall of flames stopped in front of her and swirled around, forming a humanoid figure with a muscular build, and clothing akin to that of a celebrity designed to pull in any tween who's into bad boys.
"Anything for a fan" The flaming hot celebrity said in a seductive but subtle tone, writing his name with a compacted and small stream of fire on a piece of wood.
Pete's jaw dropped to the ground with a heavy slamming sound.
"HEY! You're supposed to be attacking them!" Pete said pointing to the Don and the impressed Tick, "Not chatting it up with a twerp!"
The fire celeb only turned his head to Pete in an annoyed and bratty fashion, "Tch! You're not my manager."
Steam shot out of the toons ears as his flame breath drove off in a sports car with the teenager at his side. Pete let out a horrible growl as he rose into the sky flapping his massive wings, chunks of the street dislodged and flew past the somehow still grounded Don and Tick.
"Quick Tick, throw me!" Patch said with great confidence as he was barely staying on the ground!
The Tick was hesitant at first, "Well if you say so!" he proceeded to scoop Don Patch up in his hand and toss him with all of his might!
"DON PATCH MISSLE!" The Poprock shouted as he flew at the airborne dragon, but instead of impacting and exploding the hajikelist flew right past him and pulled out a cell phone! "Now I've got a good reception!"
The Dons face was now much more serious, he also had a blocky chin and large black eyebrows, "Hello Vice General Harrison? You have authorization to fire the missile now!"
And just as he clicked the phone off a missile as big as a building pierced through the clouds and was aimed at the completely dumbfounded toon. The explosive crashed into Pete and burst into a glorious cloud of fire and smoke sending a now regular Pete smashing down into the street.
Pete stood up ready to fight, he was prepared for another tussle against these two goody two shoes. The Tick and Don Patch jumped forward ready to strike!
And then a figure between them and was staring at Pete. The Figure was tall, a green shell over his body, with a chiseled muscular figure to go with it. Cell stared at the three figures and chuckled and spoke out.
"I guess power comes in all shapes and sizes." He said smoothly.
Pete's brow rose up as he stared back at Cell, "Hey what's that supposed to mean bub?"
Cell payed no mind to the toons words, and instead kicked the cat through several skyscrapers, sending a bright yellow ki blast after him.
Before either of the other two fighters could even process what just happened the bio android disappeared, but he could still be heard as the fight had apparently moved to where Pete had landed. Quickly both heroes dashed towards the two, only to see Pete getting pummeled from all angles by a group of Cell Jr's beating down on him like a group of bullies, bouncing him around into fist after fist.
"Okay kiddies, that'll do" Cell said as the smaller clones leaped away, the Perfect Being slowly stepped forward, his tail extending and swaying in a slow rhythm.
Pete got up dazed and pulled out a pair of revolvers, "I ain't going down just yet ya punk!"
And with that Pete unloaded a storm of bullets on Cell, not a single one affected the bio android, they didn't even scratch his shell. Cell paused and just stared at the cat blankly.
"Are you done?" The perfect being asked casually with a smug grin.
Before Pete could even react, Cells tail wrapped around him and smashed him down the side of a nearby building, the Bio Android grinned as he tossed the toon into the air for his children to unleash a storm of ki at him. Pete fell to the ground with a massive thud, and suddenly the sharp tip of Cells tail opened up and sucked Pete up like a vacuum.
Don Patch and the Tick looked on in horror as Pete slid down the long tail like a mouse being eaten by a snake, only to squeeze into the base of Cells tail. Cells muscles bulged briefly, an aura of gold exploded around him briefly as his body returned to its normal shape.
"Ahh, I've received quite the boost. Now my children, weaken the other two for me, I'd rather not waste my energy." He said confident in his own spawn as he flew into the air and sat upon a building like a king.
"You fiend! I the Tick cannot allow you to eat even the most heinous of criminals! Prepare to face Justice!" The hero shouted as he began charging for the building, only to be stopped by a group of smaller blue versions of Cell.
The Cell Jr's all struck Tick at once, knocking him back a few feet, after that they hit the blue beacon with a volley of ki blasts, each with enough power behind them to take down a building. And as the smoke created by the attacks cleared, all that was seen was a heavily damaged Don Patch, a stream of blood going down his face starting from his mouth.
"Oh no! My orange compadre! Are you all right?!" The Tick said holding up the barely conscious Don Patch.
The Don coughed up blood as he spoke in a ragged tone, "Remember me . . ." And with that Don Patch's eyes closed slowly.
The Tick clenched his teeth and stood up, staring down the group of blue children.
"Evil-doers! You face the Tick!" The Tick said, but suddenly he felt something grab his legs.
The hero was then spun around and was used to knock away the Cell Jr's, it was non other then Don Patch, smiling confidently.
"You fell for my sneak attack!" The Don Said as he put down a dizzied Tick.
"I'm glad you're okay chum! But uh, could you warn me next time?" The Tick said as he regained his composure.
Cell's smug grin shrunk slightly as he watched his children stumble back to their feet flustered by what just happened. Pinching his nose the Perfect lifeform closed his eyes and let out a deep sigh of disappointment, but as his eyes opened he was taken back by what had happened!
Cell along with his children were now dressed in uniform, whilst sitting in the student desks of a classroom! Don Patch sat on the front desk, holding a long pointer in her right hand, and adjusting her glasses with the left. The Tick was also there, and equally as confused whilst he sat inside of a giant bird cage.
"Mister Jr! You've been slacking in class!" Patchimi said whilst pointing to the closest Cell Jr, who currently looked terrifying, "To the principal's office, immediately!"
It hadn't even been more than a minute and Cell was completely done with this, a small yellow sphere of energy formed in his hand, and the entire school and its inhabitants was annihilated in a glorious light.
All that remained in the crater was Cell standing directly in the center of it, and the duo of Don Patch and Tick separated on opposite sides of the crater. The first to stand was Tick, composing himself from the pain all over his body, he grit his teeth and gave a smile of pure, unadulterated justice.
"You're brave to continue fighting," Cell said with confidence, "But you stand no chance against perfection, but you may take solace that you'll be joining my existence soon enough."
"I will never yield to evil, for I am the Tick! I am the flaw to your perfect plan, for no one expects the Tick!" He said in a heroic and booming voice.
"And don't forget me!" Don Patch said in his high pitched and egotistically oozing voice, "You didn't expect me did you?"
Cell looked at both of them, dumbfounded slightly, but immediately went back to confidence as he flew into the air holding two balls of ki in his hands. A golden aura appeared around him afterwards, Cell gave them one last look.
"You both seem very confident, so prove your strength!"
After that Cell shot off both ki blasts towards both of them, both with surprising results. Don Patch leaped out of the blast radius and attempted to strike down Cell with the Don Patch Sword, an attempt which was rendered meaningless as he was backhanded down the street. The Tick however completely tanked the blast and made a tackle charge for Cell, that was also a useless attempt as Cell merely transported to the left, proceeding this movement he kicked Nick directly in the ribs and sent him barreling towards the Don.
The Hajike Master leaped over the airborne hero and was making a serious dash for the Bio-Android, stifling a grin from the creature. Cell sent his hand forward with a ki blast prepared, but instantaneously Don Patch was in Olympic running gear holding a baton.
"TAKE THE BATON CELL! WIN THE GAME!" Don Patch said desperately as he held out the white stick!
Cell could feel every fiber of his body screaming at once, so to vent this rage he kicked Don Patch exactly 560 feet into the air, It's amazing the pop rock didn't just exit existence upon contact with that kick.
Cell was so enthralled by how satisfying that was that the Tick was able to punch him square in the jaw, to little effect mind you, but it was still something. So Cell took the ki in his hand and at point blank range launched the hero into a the sky scraper across from them, simultaneously punching and blasting him at the same time.
The Perfect being as he began to spin around, only for his outward leg to make contact with the poprock, sending him into the slowly rising Tick like a rocket of pure stupidity.
"Quite the shame I'm going to have to absorb you two, you make for perfect stress relief." Cell said as if he were talking about watering a garden.
Don Patch was the first to get up, glaring at Cell.
"I guess I have no other choice but to use my secret weapon!" Don Patch said as he jumped into the air with both Cell and Tick looking at him, "DON PATCH TRANSFORM MODE! A PIECE OF CANDY!" The Don said as he became a tiny piece of candy, landing in the Ticks hand.
"My orange comrade, I don't really see how this is helpful." The Tick said disappointingly after witnessing such an anticlimax.
"Eat me!"
"WHAT?! You can't really be suggesting I eat you!"
"Just do it you big baby! I thought you called yourself a hero and yet you're to scared to eat a piece of candy with a fa-"
"Okay!" The Tick yelled out, hesitantly dropping the candy in his mouth and swallowing it.
And in a moment that Cell would never forget, the Tick was enveloped in an aura of pure light, slowly his body transformed into a whole new shape!
And it was absolutely hideous, it was what the internet would describe as "A bad Sonic OC made by a 4 year old who had never seen anything Sonic Related in his entire life." Even the brilliant fusion of Peanut Butter and Chocolate looked more intimidating than this abomination to combinations everywhere.
Even Cell couldn't help but stare at this freak of nature, he was unsure rather or not if he should scream in terror at how hideous it was, or if he should laugh at how stupid it was! But none the less this only made things easier for Cell, with them both together he could absorb them both at the same time.
"Okay Cell! I hope you're ready to face the ultimate fusion!" Said the fusion who we shall lovingly refer to as, Abomination . . . Or Donick just because we'll likely get complaints for calling him that.
Immediately Donick appeared beside Cell with a comically sized baseball bat, and with one swing launched the androids head across the city and into a conveniently placed concrete wall. The splatter of the head exploding somehow forming the word, "Homerun," which was what the fusion was screaming excitedly as he jumped around in a hilarious fashion.
Cell's head grew back in a second, and not wanting to let that happen again he swung at the freak, only for Donick to appear behind him and kick him into the air. Soon after he was flying around Cell, repeatedly kicking him higher into the air, and finally Donick flew above the biodroid and began spinning around until he formed into a massive blue and orange tornado!
Upon contact Cell's body was already being impaled and torn apart, its when he got sucked up into the tornado that the real pain started, soon his body was reduced to nothing but barely held together muscle and fragments of exoskeleton. Donick was already on the ground as the tornado had just stopped tearing his foe apart, he charged up for a powerful punch as Cells body was falling into range.
"SUPER!" Donick's fist turned into a spiked boxing glove, "JUSTICE!" Donick's fist grew nearly five times its original size, "BREAKER!" Finally Donick's fist began to shimmer like the stars in a night sky as he began to swing forward with Cell almost in the perfect position for a direct punch!
"FIST!" Donick's attack made contact with Cell, completely annihilating his body, all except for a single cell, launched across the city, and into a parked truck, which was immediately torn apart by the sheer force created by the projectile cell.
"He won't be bothering us anymore" The fusion said as he began to come apart into the original components.
And just as they de-fused into a much less hideous form, like a demon bursting from the gates of hell Cell appeared beside Don Patch and launched him into the sky. Immediately after the biodroid swept the Tick off his feet and proceeded to continuously punch him into the concrete, finishing it off with a point blank Kamehameha, leaving the hero at the bottom of a crater.
The Tick staggered up, a burning pain all over his body, only for Cells tail to swallow him up and begin absorbing him.
"One down."
Don Patch crash landed, creating an entire other crater, as soon as he got up he saw the Ticks leg get sucked up the Perfect Lifeforms tail, and slowly condense into the monsters body. Cells body became much more muscular, even he couldn't contain the sheer muscle mass the Tick had added to him.
"One to go."
Cell was immediately upon the stunned Don Patch, kicking him up into the air, sending a shockwave throughout the city. Don Patch was then punched in the face possibly a million times before the laws of physics could be applied allowing for him to crash into the ground with enough force to cause an earthquake on the other side of the world. After that he was assaulted by a storm of Ki Blasts, painting him black with soot, and soon after that Don Patch was cleaned by the force released by a single kick which launched Don Patch all the way to the edge of the city at the docks.
"The sheer amount of power that inferior being held in him is phenomenal!" The Perfect Lifeform said to himself as he began charging a Kamehameha to dwarf all Kamehameha's!
The beam released completely annihilated half of The City, soon the ocean swirled and rushed into the massive hole the attack formed, with Don Patch getting swept up in it.
Cell smiled at how powerful he had become, he didn't even need that insignificant little poprock now! So he locked onto the faint energy source in the mess the ocean was creating, and sent a fresh Destructo Disc after it.
Meanwhile Don Patch was doing something even you the reader might be surprised by, thinking! He thought of how his ally was just sucked up into a mad scientists monster's tail, he thought of how he just got blitzed by that same monster right after, he thought of how Bo-bobo would probably try and outshine him if he was here right now, he thought of how this sea water was making his shoes really uncomfortable. All of these thoughts and more brought Don Patch to one, unbelievably obvious realization as the Destructo Disc came ever closer to him. He was Pissed.
Cell laughed on as he had now become a god among the living, but he froze up as he sensed a massive amount of power emanating from the water as his own attack flew back at him and didn't even scratch him.
And slowly from the water Don Patch, now surrounded in a golden aura of rage stared at Cell, his rage was so intense that he had skipped past his first three forms and became Dodon Patch! And this pissed off poprock on had only one thing to say.
"I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! SERIOUSLY!"
Dodon Patch appeared in front of Cell with such intense speed that the wind generated by it kicked up a massive tornado, a tsunami formed afterwards and was slowly collapsing upon The City, his entire body was ablaze with a flame so intense it had become an eye-straining white! Don Patch swung his first forward into Cells chest, it was somehow generating a sound so high pitched that it had blocked out every conceivable form of sound around the two. Finally contact was made, and the pure unadulterated force exuded from Dodon's fist upon Cell's chest caused an earthquake to begin tearing apart The City below, geysers of lava were erupting out of the earth and oceans around them, the sky was an abysmal gray as more tornadoes began kicking up.
And the attack did absolutely nothing.
Cell looked at the fist and had a wide smile.
"Even the power of a raging monster cannot damage my body! HOW PATHETIC!"
Cell was about to try and finish this with a single punch, but the Poprock had other plans as he sped around Cell and launched him down the street from behind! The Don pursued, continuing to punch and kick Cell with enough power to rival a nuke! He appeared under Cell and kicked him high into the air, just barely avoiding the tsunami crashing through the city, after that Dodon Patch began flying around Cell, punching him in entire nanoseconds, his own afterimages creating a brutal tornado around him.
Not a single punch was denting Cell's body, every failure only served to piss Don Patch off further, every attack becoming stronger and stronger. The Perfect Lifeform was now bored with this inferior creatures pathetic attempts at an attack, so in a single attack he hit Dodon Patch and sent him flying towards the ground!
"Your attacks are pathetic, my body is invincible! You will never defeat me!"
Dodon Patch felt the world around him stop as Cell said that, and deep inside the insanity of his mind he felt something snap, and instantaneously he was in front of Cell with a fist ready.
"DO YOU SERIOUSLY BELIEVE THAT?!"
Dodon Patch punched Cell with enough force to cause his entire shell to explode off of him, then his flesh, then his muscle, leaving only the "Perfect" Lifeforms head remaining. Before the Don could send Cell to another dimension the bio-androids body regenerated and kicked him into the air.
Don Patch had already caught himself in the air and punched Cell across the city, and then into the air, and then he punched Cell with enough power behind it to tear half of the O-Zone apart, sending Cell into space and towards the moon.
Cell was already about to hit the moon and annihilate a layer of it with the impact, and Don Patch was already upon him ready to crush him. Cell wasn't letting it end there though, in a stroke of mere luck Cell was able to avoid the attack with only his arm getting atomized. So instead Dodon hit the moon itself, and much to Cells terror the entire moon was split perfectly in half.
But this wasn't anything to truly fear he thought, instead it was a perfect opportunity, Cell kicked Don Patch towards the center of the split moon. Afterwards he punched both halves of the moon in a second, completely crushing Don Patch inbetween the two, while also bonding both halves back together.
Cell panted slightly as he stared at the Moon, only for it to explode in an instant, and at the center of it all was Dodon Patch, who was so furious, that he was somehow on fire IN SPACE! Cell could barely get a last breath in as he was punched all the way into and through Venus, after that the Don completely incinerated Cell's legs and tossed him across the galaxy into Pluto. After punching Cell into every particle of existence making up Pluto enough times to make it so small it couldn't even be considered to exist by scientists, Don Patch proceeded to beat the life out of Cell across every moon and planet in the solar system, until finally circling back all the way to Pluto and tossing the barely regenerated Cell all the way to the SUN.
Cell's impact onto the star was miraculous as it seemed his body was durable enough to at least no burn up, however he could only barely stand on the star since it was now slowly approaching into becoming a supernova!
"HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE!"
Cell's heart nearly stopped as he could hear that earsplitting roar from across the solar system, and he could SEE the massive white raging aura around Dodon Patch barreling towards the sun.
Cell cried in pure fear as he scrambled up all of his ki into a Solar Kamehameha, and released instantly at the approaching Don Patch, but did he care?
No.
Dodon Patch's fist made contact attack, and completely flattened the attack, soon the blast had wrapped around the dying star, crushing it further until the conflicting beam and the supernova broke down into a massive black hole!
Cell's body could hold firm against the Black Hole, but he feared more of the raging Don Patch staring into his very soul!
"It's because of you that innocent warriors died. It's because of you a HERO died. It's because of YOU that I've had to cause the extinction of this solar system! THERE ARE SERIOUSLY NO CONCEPTS OF THIS EXISTENCE ALONE THAT COULD DEFINE A COMPREHENDIBLE EVALUATION OF HOW ANGRY YOU'VE MADE ME! SO NOW YOU'LL FACE MY ULTIMATE ATTACK!"
Cell cried like a child in fear as his body was slammed against the black hole, his body being stretched out into the void, as Dodon Patch seemed to be walking towards him, his fist alone was shaking the reality around him.
"SUPER! ANGRY!"
Don Patches fist made contact with Cell.
"FIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIST!"
The fist pierced through Cells body, and he could feel that fist pierce through his body in every second of his existence, throughout the fight that had been occurring Cell's body was pierced, throughout his battle with a blue blob of water his body had been pierced, throughout his death before all of this his body was pierced, even during his fight with the Z-Fighters his body was pierced by that fist of anger.
Until finally that fist reached the birth of Cell, as soon as the scientist Dr. Gero created Cell, that fragment of his existence exploded with the power of a Nuclear Warhead.
And after that moment alone time itself collapsed, lives were changed, battles were removed from time, even these moments now were destroyed. Just leaving a void of a broken timeline behind in this battles wake . . .
KO!