Disclaimer: I do not own the Marvel Cinematic Universe, nor do I own a bunny.
Soulmate AU Reminder: Everyone has a Soulmark, a tattoo of the first words their Soulmate will say to them. Showing someone else your Soulmark is like baring your soul to them, so most people only show their Soulmate or very trusted friends.
The Mission Impossible theme played in her head. She darted through the hallway, pretending she was doing important work for S.H.I.E.L.D., trying to be sneaky like she imagined Natasha would be when she was after top secret intel.
Darcy was on a mission.
And it would be a success.
Steve always felt exhausted when he visited New York. He hated being away from his own bed and he hated having to deal with Stark when he was being difficult. Those two things coincided every time he took a trip there; Tony always insisted that Steve didn't need to stay at a hotel, that there were quarters for him at Stark Tower.
It wasn't that he wasn't grateful for the accommodations. It was nice to have a place that he could sort of call home in New York, even if it wasn't his his.
Mostly, it was that he was sure that Tony was lulling him into a false sense of security and would start pulling juvenile pranks as soon as he thought Steve was finally comfortable there.
But he figured it was okay this time, because he was still on his guard. And a king sized bed bought and paid for by Tony Stark was much nicer than a cheap full size bed paid for by S.H.I.E.L.D.. Besides, Tony's breakfasts were better than any he could get at a hotel.
Darcy was in trouble.
"Where did you say it was, JARVIS?" she asked as she darted down another hallway. This time she wasn't pretending to be anything but what she was: freaked out and ready to fix what she'd broken.
"It is still currently located in one of the private quarters on the sixteenth floor, Miss Lewis," the AI responded.
"Okay, so I'll just… go in there, and get it, and then… then everything will be back the way it should be. Jane won't kill me, and Pepper won't have any reason to be mad at her. Everything will be fine. Nothing will be ruined." She made it to the elevators and pushed the button, dancing from one foot to the other in anticipation.
"Miss Lewis, I don't mean to rain on your parade, but—"
"That's okay, buddy, nobody's throwing any candy at me; bring on the rain." The elevator doors opened and she quickly stepped inside, wasting no time in jabbing her thumb on the big button marked "16." The elevator zoomed away.
"You do not have access to the quarters in question."
"Oh, come on, JARVIS! It's not a huge deal! Whose quarters are they? Is the person there? I bet I can get them to help me!"
"The quarters are not currently occupied, but are on permanent reserve for—"
"JARVIIIIS! I'll only be in there for like, five minutes! If the person isn't even home, then they'll never know I was there, now, will they?" The doors of the elevator opened and Darcy stepped out into the deserted hallway. She lowered her voice to match the setting. "Pleeease, JARVIS? Don't do it for me. Do it for the wittle, fuzzy, wuzzy—"
"If I might remind you, Miss Lewis," the AI replied, using a similar volume, "this was the reasoning you used to convince me to help you in your liberation campaign in the first place."
"Yeah, well, it worked, didn't it?" She had been moving slowly down the hallway, but then stopped, realizing that he still hadn't told her where she was going. She tried again. "Is it working this time, by any chance?"
A door three feet away on her right unlocked itself.
"You are a sorcerer and a gentleman, JARVIS," she whispered.
She sneaked through the entryway. The room inside was dark and quiet, but not as quiet as it should have been. She caught a flash of movement out of the corner of her eye as she reached for the light switch, just in time to see it dash into the kitchen. Grabbing a nearby wastebasket, she sneaked after it. It took objection to her advance and escaped into the living room, sprinting under the coffee table and taking refuge under the couch.
But now it was trapped. Or… twapped. She got down on her hands and knees and reached under the couch. "Now I gotcha, ya wittle old wabbit," she muttered.
Steve sighed. He was looking forward to getting some shut eye. The hallway outside the elevator was quiet. He opened his door, set down his bag, shucked out of his jacket and shoes, and pulled off his shirt, intending to head straight for the bed.
But the light was on in the living room.
And there were a pair of shapely legs and a rather nice rear end sticking out from under the side table.
There was a woman in his apartment.
He knew taking up Stark's offer to sleep at his place was the buildup to a huge joke.
Sighing, he put a hand on his hip.
"Okay, joke's over," he said. "It's not very funny, either. You should get out from under my couch and leave, now."
The curvy brunette emerged, clutching something fuzzy and white in her arms. "Uh… I'm… hunting wabbits?" she explained. "Oh. Wow. If this is a joke, it is the best one ever."
He blinked at her. "You're my Soulmate," he informed her.
"And you are very attractive." She seemed to realize what she had just said and began to backpedal. "I mean, you're very shirtless. You're…" she took her eyes off his pecs and fastened them onto his face. "You're… Captain America. Wow. Okay. I'm making a complete fool of myself."
Steve let out a bashful laugh. "If it makes you feel any better, I'd probably feel exactly the same way if our positions were reversed."
His Soulmate turned magenta. "Right, well." She stood up and held out her hand. "I'm Darcy Lewis, it's nice to, uh… maybe you should… put your shirt back on."
Now it was Steve's turn to be embarrassed. "Yeah, I should…" He regarded her hand. "Hang on a second." He returned to the entryway, pulled on his shirt, and stepped into his shoes.
When he got back to the living room, Darcy was still standing as he'd left her, staring at the opposite wall as though she'd just been run over by a truck. Metaphorically. Then he noticed that she was holding a small, slightly wiggly rabbit in one arm.
"You were actually hunting wabbits under my couch?" he asked.
Darcy awakened from her daze and looked at him. "I thought it was a lab rabbit," she explained. "Like, I thought they were going to experiment on it or whatever, so JARVIS and I performed a daring jailbreak. But then when I got back to the lab, Jane said that she was just keeping an eye on it for Pepper while she was in a meeting upstairs, and that it was a present for her niece. Pepper's niece. And so I had to… unjailbreak it. It was in here and I convinced JARVIS to let me in, and then my Soulmate showed up!"
He waved. "Hi."
"Hi!" She shook her head and laughed. "I've had an interesting day so far. Wanna come with me to return Elmer, here?"
"Sure."
They left the apartment and hit the elevator.
"So, you rescued a bunny," Steve said as Darcy pushed the button for the labs.
"I tried. That's, like, superhero-in-training stuff, right? You ever fetch any kittens out of trees when you were just starting out?"
"I… sold war bonds. There was a musical number, and everything."
Darcy stifled a laugh behind her hand. "Seriously?"
Steve nodded, smiling at the memory.
"Wow, I didn't know 'chorus line' counted as superhero experience. Maybe I'm more qualified than I thought. Should I put together my resume for the Avengers? What do you think?"
"I think…" Steve said, giving her a sideways glance, "that you're adorable."
She gave him a shove as the elevator doors opened. "You only get to call me that when you're topless."
He laughed. "Why?"
She stepped over to the door to the lab. Steve could see Pepper inside talking to a white-coated scientist. "Because I'll be too distracted to punch you!"
Author's Note: Bloggity blog blog iwillwriteyourfic DOT blogspot DOT com SLASH 2016 SLASH 05 SLASH silly-words-for-silly-soulmate-fic_21 DOT html