Title: This Despondent Heart
Summary: Two years after Freddie's death, Emily's living her life in Leeds and Katie is making it her job to look after the rest of the gang, but things get complicated when Naomi comes back to Bristol.
Disclaimer: Don't own Skins or anything related to the show.
Rating: M
A/N: So this is an accompaniment to 'This Disillusioned Life' telling the same story but from Katie's point of view because a few people have asked for it. You don't need to have read it to understand this, but I'd recommend reading both. Kaomi & mentions of Naomily.
The club is jumping tonight and right now I own the dance floor. I laugh and push away the hands of the blonde girl trying to grope my arse. She's tried it on loads tonight but I'm not interested. It's been a long week at work and I just want to have a dance without it having to lead somewhere; besides her platinum blonde hair is putting me off. I shoot her a coy smile as I turn to the nearest guy I can find and begin grinding up against him. His girlfriend is dancing beside him and rather than berate me for dancing with her bloke she slips up behind me and I think I might be in for an interesting night after all.
Then Cook's pushing some blonde towards me, a shameless trick he pulls all the time when he's trying for a threesome. No matter how many times I have to turn him down he doesn't seem to get the message. Don't get me wrong, I've shagged a few of the girls he's sent my way, but it will be a cold day in hell when I fuck James Cook. At first glance she's pretty enough, long blonde curls, nice smile…
I laugh as I help steady the girl, knowing Cook he's probably been feeding her shots at the bar. She stiffens as I touch her and I'm about to ask her if she's ok when I really get a good look at her and see who it is. I'm stunned for a second. She was the last person I expected to see here tonight and I'm not sure what to say or how to act; so I fall back on the safest course of action and start shouting. "What the fuck is she doing here?" I glare at her, expecting the same treatment back, but she looks more spooked than angry, like a deer caught in the headlights. Cook explains she's finally come home for a summer, like it's perfectly fucking normal for her to just waltz back in to town with no warning after two years! He tries to drape an arm around both of us and pull us together, but we fight him off at the same time and Naomi stalks off to the bar. "What the actual fuck Cook? A bit of warning would have been nice, yeah? You do know Ems is coming back next month!" I take my frustrations out on Cook because Naomi's walked away and it's not just her return that's got me on edge. Pretty soon I'll have to put up with Emily being back too and she's going to be moping all over the blonde again, like nothing's changed. Great. This summer is just going to be fucking awesome.
God I need a drink. I can't handle this shit right now. I'm twenty years old and it's a Friday night, right now I just want to be off my tits on drink and dancing with the fittest person I can find. When I get to the bar though Naomi's there, practically drooling over the skanky barmaid who's ogling her chest. I'll give the girl her due, she has nice tits, but flashing them for a drink is a bit desperate. I shake my head as the barmaid pushes away her money and Naomi smirks like she's just won something special. Please, it's only a fucking watered down vodka and coke. I order a double for myself and glare at the barmaid as she tries her tricks on me. I'd rather pay double than degrade myself.
When I make my way back to the dance floor Naomi seems to have recovered and is dancing with Cook like it's any other Friday night. JJ stands sheepishly beside them drinking an orange juice and I offer him a genuine smile as I take his hand and try to encourage him to dance. He never does, but whenever he's out without Lara I always try to make an effort to include him so I carry on regardless. The more we all drink the more relaxed we all get and I end up joining Cook and Naomi, even letting Cook get his rocks off by trying to dirty dance with me; he looks like a gorilla trying to mount a lamppost. I try to get JJ involved but he stands there like a lemon, I think he could have an instruction manual and he still wouldn't know what to do with a fit girl. God knows how he's managed to keep Lara, but whatever he's doing seems to work. The pair of them are smitten and, next to Effy, Lara's practically my best friend.
Campbell keeps going up to the bar and coming back with strange fucking cocktails, the barmaid's eyes glued to her arse as she watches her make her way back over to us. The skank is pissing me right off, and Naomi shouldn't be fucking encouraging her either. I wait until she finishes her next drink, she starts dancing with Cook and slapping his hands as they wander to her arse, I grab her by the hand before she can make her way back to the bar. She has the deer in the headlights look on her face again as I slip my arms around her waist and start dancing with her…well technically it's more like on her, and it's almost fucking worth it to watch her stand there dumbstruck. My hands move to her hips as I lean in close to talk in to her ear, the club is packed and it's the only way she'll hear me over the noise. I don't miss the way her breath hitches or how her eyes close over. She's thinking about Emily, I can see it written all over her face. It's always about Emily with her. "Are you going to get us a drink from bimbo barmaid or what?" I snap and whatever spell she was under is broken. She still looks shaken as she goes over to the bar and catches the blonde's attention. When she holds two fingers up to indicate she wants a second drink the barmaid doesn't look very impressed. Her eyes search the crowd and land on me with a glare. It looks like it wasn't just Naomi she was watching.
So that bitch wants to play does she? She clearly hasn't heard that I'm Katie Fucking Fitch and I don't come second at anything. She thinks she's got Naomi's attention? Well I'll show her just how wrong she is. Sauntering over to the bar I wrap one arm around Naomi's waist and use the other to cup her cheek as my lips find her ear. It's almost too easy. The barmaid's eyes narrow on me and if we were in a cartoon there'd be steam coming from her ears. I think she's contemplating throwing the cocktails she's just made over the pair of us as I giggle in to Naomi's ear like we're playing a game. Her entire body feels tense and I swear she's practically shaking. The barmaid isn't the only blonde I'm teaching a lesson tonight. "Cock blocked." I laugh as the barmaid snatches the tenner out of Naomi's hand and stalks off. I take one of the cocktails and flounce off to find Cook, leaving Naomi to compose herself at the bar. I know it's all about Emily, but it doesn't stop me taking a little bit of pride in knowing I can get to her so easily.
I see her watching me for the rest of the night, stealing glances when she thinks I'm distracted by whoever I'm dancing with. I see something familiar in her gaze, a hunger I'm used to seeing on people's faces as I let loose on the dance floor, flirting and teasing with the way I move my body. For the first time ever Naomi Campbell is looking at me like she wants to fuck me senseless and I'm loving it. I dance with her a little bit, but mostly I dance with random girls and accept drinks off loser guys who have no chance of getting in my pants, all the while watching Campbell get more and more worked up. By the time we leave the club at stupid o'clock in the morning I can barely walk straight. My fucking feet are killing me; I really should learn to stop wearing heels on a night out with Cook. I should know better by now.
The stupid street is cobbled and I'm going to end up on my arse if I'm not careful. Fuck, spoke too soon! One of my heels catches
and I go flying forward. Naomi curses as she shoots forward to catch me, her hands lingering on my arms a little longer than necessary before she lets go of me and starts pulling at my high heels. "Fuck you doing?" I've had far too much to drink, because right now the only thought running through my head is that Naomi Campbell is trying to steal my shoes. It's absurd, because my feet are tiny and these heels are ridiculously expensive, and everyone knows Naomi has no fashion sense. As I try to pull away from her and save my designer heels from her clutches I end up losing my balance again. She catches my wrist and holds me steady as she finally pulls my heels off my feet and steps out of her converse. They're too big but she ties them tight to keep them on my feet and I can't help but giggle at how ridiculous her bright red converse look with my dress and tights.
"Fuck me Naoms, you're fashion sense hasn't got any better has it?"
Something in her changes and I think it's got something to do with how husky my voice came out with her nickname; and once again it's all about Emily. She storms off ahead in her socks without saying a word, like she hasn't just done something stupidly nice for someone she's supposed to hate. I bite my lip as I look down at the battered converse on my tired feet. They're only marginally easier to walk in due to them being too big so I struggle to catch up to Naomi and the others. "Wait then!" She slows down and pulls out a cigarette, pretends that she's only slowed down so that her unsteady hands can light it, when really we both know she's waiting for me to catch up to her. She offers me a cigarette before she remembers I don't smoke and puts the pack away.
It's fucking freezing tonight and I'm shivering as we walk along in search of a taxi. I wrap my arms around myself trying to stave off the cold. I knew I should have worn a jacket. "Fuck sake." Naomi grumbles as she slips her own jacket off and drapes it over my shoulders. I just stand there staring at her. Two years ago Naomi Campbell would barely give me the time of day and yet here she is giving up her shoes and her jacket. I eventually slip my arms in to the jacket and hug it tightly around me. It's still warm from her wearing it and when I shiver again it's not from the cold. "Thank you." I mumble to her with my eyes glued to the ground. We walk in silence after that and the four of us pour in to a taxi that Cook's managed to flag down.
I'm in the back with JJ, Naomi pressed between the two of us, my heels in my hands as I stare out of the window. I can feel Naomi's eyes burning in to me and her thigh pressed right up against me and I suddenly feel a whole lot sober by the time I climb out of the taxi in front of my apartment. I pull my keys out of my purse and let myself through the security door before making my way up the stairs to the landing my apartment is on. Closing the front door behind me I slip my feet out of the horrid red converse and leave them by the door. I keep the jacket on because I still feel cold and pad barefoot in to the living room. The lamp by the sofa is on, casting the room in a warm orange glow that warms me through. I smile at my flatmate who is spread out across the sofa with a blanket over her and collapse on top of her. Effy chuckles good naturedly as she scoots over to let me lie beside her and wraps the blanket over both of us. I close my eyes for a moment as I lie pressed up against her, my head on her chest, listening to the steady beat of her heart. "Good night?" She asks and my thoughts instantly go to Naomi.
"Naomi's back." I admit with a heavy sigh and her arms wrap around me as she leans her head on my shoulder. It's amazing how much closer the two of us have become over the last two years. Effy and I finally have the friendship I wanted us to have since the first day of college; it just took us both losing nearly everything to get it.
"Want to talk about it?" I shake my head and she knows not to push it. She presses her lips to my cheek, but there's nothing romantic or sexual about her gesture. We've slept together twice, yes I've slept with a girl, well more than one actually, and Effy might be incredibly hot, but I'm not interested in her that way. "Babe, is there something in your pocket or are you just reallyhappy to see me?" Effy teases and I shift to see what is inside my pocket that's digging in to her thigh. It's only as I pull Naomi's phone out that I remember that the pocket, and the jacket it belongs too, aren't mine at all. They're Naomi's. Fuck, she's going to want her phone back! So I'm probably going to have to see her tomorrow too.
I shove the phone back in the pocket and pull off the other girl's jacket, draping it on the coffee table before I bury my face in a pillow and groan. I lie there beside Effy and try to stop myself from thinking about Naomi all together. About how good she looked tonight. Despite my barbs her dress sense has actually improved somewhat, red converse not included, and she's kept her hair long, I always she always looked prettier with her long hair…
Not that my opinion ever mattered; after all, it was always about Emily.