Master Hand, flushed with grief and stress, burst into the game room of the Smash Mansion to find Mario and Luigi playing poker on a card table. A huge pile of coins was stacked on the table, and it seemed Luigi was winning.
"Oh yeah!" Luigi declared as he studied his hand of cards.
"What? Does that mean you have a good hand? Or are you-a bluffing?" Mario asked in suspicion. Then he greatly sighed and threw his cards on the table. "Oh, like it a-matters! I can't afford to put a-third mortgage on my-a go-cart. I fold!"
Suddenly Master Hand flew up to the table and flipped it over. Playing cards and gold coins flew up to the air and onto the floor. "Guys!" declared the glove, not caring about the mess he just made. "It's horrible! It's absolutely horrible!"
Mario stood up and pointed at his brother. "You saw what his hand was?" he asked.
"No... no..." Master Hand said. "I mean, yeah, I did. But it's not that. Dr. Mario quit!"
Mario and Luigi shared a look. "Uh," Luigi mumbled. "Again?"
"So a copy of a-me quits. How is that horrible?" Mario asked as he placed his hands on his hips.
"Well, now with Dr. Mario leaving, we no longer have a personal doctor!" Master Hand declared as he knocked over a couch. "Who'll sew Smashers up now?!" he turned to Mario and hovered over him.
Mario, feeling that his personal space was being invaded by Master Hand, slowly tried to step away from the glove. "Why are you-a staring at me for?" he asked.
Master Hand took a hint from his walking away and gave the him the space he wanted. "Sorry, it's just, well, you're the most famous person in the whole mansion. So, I figured, you would know someone who could take Dr. Mario's place."
"Oh," answered Mario as he stroked his mustache. "That makes sense."
Luigi stood there behind the two, thinking about what Master Hand just said. Suddenly, he had an idea! "Oh, Mario!" Luigi called out. "How about the Medicine Woman?"
Mario turned to him brother and cheered. "Oh yeah! Muggers! She's always looking for a-work!"
"And I think she still lives in Caveman Land." Luigi added.
"PERFECT!" Master Hand suddenly leaned in and began pushing the two brothers out the door. "Now go find her and bring her back here AT ALL COST."
"Uh, that... sounds unsettling." Luigi commented.
Master Hand turned to him and huffed. "Does it LOOK like I care about how it sounds at this point? Now, go pull together a team and bring the Muggers back before someone fractures a skull again!"
So Mario and Luigi ran around the mansion and gathered Smashers to come with them to the Cavemen dessert. But it turned out, of course, most of the Smashers were out battling. So the team was kind of small:
Peach - Cute and can float! She immediately joined in when she noticed Mario was coming.
Captain Falcon - Strong, swift, and can somehow-somewhat become on fire! His ride is in the shop for the day so he has nothing else to do.
Little Mac - Quite the klutz, yet strong as heck! He's Little Mac; like he would be busy.
Ness - The most youthful of the team! He thought it would be fun to meet some cavemen.
Mr. Game & Watch - Tech-smart and has a mouthful of a name! He's coming because... Uh... Why is he coming?
"G & W, why are you coming with us again?" Luigi asked the creature.
"BEEEEEEEEEEP BEEEEEEEEEEEP!" was the answer Mr. G&W gave.
Peach clapped her hands. "Aww! How creative!" she squealed.
"All a-right!" Mario exclaimed as he threw open the front door and ushered them all out. "Lets go find us some a-cavemen!"
Two hours later, the six made there way to the land known as Caveman Land. It looked like a dessert that somehow had green, healthy tree vines everywhere. There was also volcanos scattered about, always letting out black smoke into the air. Some skeletons lying around, too. They probably died from really polluted air.
And at this point, everyone looking for Muggers was sweating and patting so hard that they might join in on the bone party soon.
Mario was dialing someone on his really outdated phone. "...109!" he declared as he pushed send.
"You didn't have to dial that out loud, ya know." Ness said as he jumped over a vine on the ground and then crawled over a large rock instead of avoiding both obstacles like everyone else.
"Hush! It's a-ringing!" Mario waved the child away.
The voice of Master Hand came blaring out of Mario's phone. "You have reached Master Hand." it blared. "I'm unable to come to the phone right now. Please leave a message after the beep."
"You lards!" Crazy Hand suddenly shouted out in the background right before the beep.
Mario scratched his brow, wondering whether or not he should actually leave a message or just hang up. He decided to go with the former. "Master Hand, we have arrived in Caveman Land; searching for Mugger the Medicine Woman, who we hope can fix your little problem."
The six began walking uphill. The ground got a lot firmer and easier to walk on. Luigi smiled, figuring this was a good thing. He adjusted his backpack and sat down, which was a sign to everyone else that it was finally time for a break. They all stopped to take in the view. Mr. G&W even collapsed onto his back for a nap.
But suddenly, the hill was alive! It wasn't a hill at all! It was Ridley! And for some reason he was wearing really cool sunglasses! And a badge that read "Works for Bowser"!
"...But King Koopa showed up first! And is causing dinosaur-size trouble!" Mario screamed right before he hung up the phone.
Ridley stood up, causing everyone on his back to fall off. They screamed as they fell to the ground.
"Ow! Where did that reptile learn his manners?" Little Mac growled as he and the others got back on their feet.
They all stared in awe as Ridley turned to look at them. His sunglasses reflexed the sun as he grimaced at what he hoped would soon become his lunch.
The team exclaimed in fear as they turned and ran. -Well, everyone but Ness and Little Mac. Ness grabbed the boxer by the arm and said, "Hey, I can look up stuff about Ridley for you if you want." as he pulled out his phone and looked up "Ridley from Nintendo".
Little Mac sweated in fear as Ness casually read about the flying freak that was about to chase them. "Ridley: The ugliest, slimiest, rottenest-"
Finally Little Mac couldn't take it anymore. He slapped the cell phone out of Ness's hands, threw the boy over his shoulders, and began running like heck like the others.
Ridley looked down at the phone on the ground. On it's screen was a wimpy picture of him, and next to that was his name spelled wrong, "Ridlie". His grimace turned in a strait-out frown as he stepped on the phone. He turned to the sky and roared as great roar of anger. He then began stomping towards the six.
They ran like Sonic the Hedgehog across the land; but, as in Sonic Boom Sonic the Hedgehog. Seriously, everyone but Peach was spinning their feet but were only going about 3 miles an hour. At least, that's what it looked like.
"Whoa! Whoa whoa whoa!" was all Ness could say as they scurried along.
"Faster! Faster!" Mario cried while motioning for everyone to do so.
"Hey, running in sand is not as easy as it looks." Captain Falcon snapped at the plumber. "And I rarely run at all!"
"Oh, dear. All this sand will surely ruining my heels." Peach moped as they ran pass a huge dinosaur skeleton.
Ridley kept right on their tail, which was not a achievement. This means he was going even slower than the Smashers were, so he was probably going 1 mile an hour. But then again, he was use to flying.
All of a sudden, there was a loud roaring from the sky. Everyone stopped right in their tracks as Bowser came down from the sky on an dinosaur, roaring on the top of his lungs! -Bowser, that is.