Blake didn't know why they'd let themselves get swept away with this. Her gaze followed her white-haired teammate's motion as she refilled the brawler's glass with liquor that should never have made it past the academy's gates. Yes, the legal drinking age in the kingdom of Vale was eighteen. Yes, today was Yang's birthday, and as they were now all of age, it wasn't illegal per se for them to be celebrating. Anyways, that had been Yang's explanation as she'd smuggled the bottle onto school grounds, making sure to mention Ruby would not be having any. Weiss had nevertheless reminded her that what was technically legal in the kingdom didn't matter if it went against the establishment's rules. Blake would never be able to retell what twisted logic Yang had unfurled, but it had somehow had the heiress give in and… this brought them to now.
The faunus's gaze slid to the glass in her own hand. It was too sweet. Leave it up to Yang to dredge up something like this oversized bottle of pink and creamy, strawberry-flavored tequila. "How can you drink this stuff, Weiss?"
"It's not half as bad as I expected when I saw the label," she allowed, refilling her own glass. Ruby attempted to grab it but wasn't fast enough.
"Hey! Th…This thing is good," the blonde indignantly argued, swinging her arm around her partner's shoulders as she clinked their glasses together. "It tastes like c-cake. With the…b-… th-the bonus of getting us drunk."
Blake tilted her head to try and throw her friend an unimpressed scowl. "Are you drunk already….?" she dared ask, appalled.
"I uh. Yes," Yang acknowledged, somehow slumping over her more. "We drink, we drunk, yeah?"
"No," she flatly answered. "You're drunk. Weiss and I are fine."
"Th-then have more!" She happily hollered, nudging the hand in which Blake held her glass.
With a sigh, she made herself gulp down the rest of her drink if only to make her friend happy – which it did as she cheered. Yang promptly reached for the bottle and unsteadily refilled the glass Blake had just emptied.
"I'm surprised you can't hold your alcohol better," Weiss commented, watching the blonde struggle with her coordination.
Blake sipped at her newly replenished glass. "How come you hold yours so well? Didn't you have more than she did?"
Weiss shrugged, finishing what was maybe her fourth drink. "My parents would allow us wine at dinner once we turned twelve. It was meant to prepare us to hold our own in those snobbish receptions their friends and business partners love to hold," she explained. "I guess I built up some tolerance."
Yang abruptly bounced up, snatching the bottle from the youngest member of the team's reach as she had attempted to subtly drag it her way.
"Come on! Please! Can I just try it?" Ruby pleaded for the umpteen time that evening.
Instead of verbally refusing her yet again, the birthday girl just pressed her hand to her sibling's face, forcing her back as far as her arm length would allow her.
Their underage leader gave a dissatisfied grunt and crossed her arms to sulk while her white-haired partner scoffed. "You let her stick her nose in dangerous criminals' business and get in trouble with them, you're fine with her fighting beasts like Grimm, but that's where team-mom draws the line? A sip won't hurt."
"Weiss!" Ruby's mood lit up at once; it was Yang's turn to offer a displeased groan.
"F-fine!" The blonde hiccupped, extending her own drink in her sibling's direction. It was grabbed from her as soon as offered and Ruby took a hefty gulp which she promptly proceeded to choke on. She coughed violently, spitting some of it on the desk they'd dragged away from the wall to sit around and earning herself an array of different reactions from her teammates; a offended yelp from her own partner, an amused snort from her sister and Blake simply gave a quiet sigh.
"It's disgusting!" Ruby wheezed. "I thought you said it tasted like cake!"
"B-but it does…?" Yang slurred, plopping back down as she took back her drink to finish what was left of it.
"If she's never had alcohol… no matter how sweet the drink is, its taste will overpower the sweetness," Weiss pointed out as she helped her partner sponge up her mess.
"Ohh, yeah… You should've… sh-should've seen my first time….!" Yang burst in a hearty laugh, half falling over to her side to lean heavily on Blake again.
Though she had gotten exceptionally comfortable with her teammates, Blake had nevertheless always been one to get quite ruffled with having her personal space intruded upon. And this evening…Yang would not stop intruding on it. Though she oddly couldn't say she actively disliked it. After all, if she did truly dislike it, she would've changed seats to be out of her grasp a long time ago. It did evoke an uneasiness that she could not for the life of her identify. In the end, she repeatedly willed herself to brush it off and let her drunken friend celebrate her birthday, constant skinship and all.
As Yang refilled her glass, which they probably shouldn't have let her do given how intoxicated she already was, her own previous words appeared to jog her memory and she jolted upright in her seat. "Oh! RUBY," she called, moving away from Blake to drag her sister's chair closer. "Y-y-you're sixteen," she declared as if she'd just realized it.
"I've been sixteen for a while now, this is old news," she retorted, unimpressed.
"Yeasss but…" Her grin was so ominous, all three of them stayed very still. Yang seemed unaware of this as she leaned over to Ruby. "We….di…didn't, didn't… …talk."
She squinted her silver eyes. "Yang, we talk every day."
"Talk… talk," the blonde emphasized the word as she leaned even closer to her victim. The monochrome pair instantly glanced to each other.
Ruby still didn't understand. "What?"
"Is she… going there?" Weiss incredulously whispered.
"I think she is," the faunus dreadfully confirmed.
"What talk talk?"
Yang slammed both hands on her sibling's shoulders to hold her still as she stared her down, very serious. "Sixteen was wh—when I had my first time….not a-alcohol first time," she announced. "Y-y-you need to be prepared if i-if you… you—"
"Oh no!" Ruby cut in. "Yang, that talk?!" She instantly balked, horrified.
"Listen to y…your sister," she interjected as authoritatively as she could muster. "...'Sss is important."
"I know it is, but I don't need the talk, Yang…!" she defended, looking more than a little desperate to avoid this. "I know how it works! Be safe, use protection, and anyways, I'm not about to—"
"By all means, Ruby," Weiss interjected. "Let her. This promises to be entertaining."
Blake could only stare at the heiress in shock. Her speech wasn't slurred, but her typically sharp expression seemed to be melting; she stared dazedly though half-lidded eyes. The alcohol was obviously getting to her too.
Yang whirled around faster than her level of inebriation should've let her. "MRS. SCHNEE," she bellowed, "th-…this is no laughing matter," she managed in what may or may not have been genuine indignation. She then leaned forward across the desk, waving an impressively committed finger at the white haired lady. "It's of… utmost importance for a- a young woman's h-healthy physiological and p-p… psychological development."
The dark haired faunus blinked slowly. On one hand, she was very impressed Yang had managed this sentence at all. On the other hand, she realized that the fact that she found her partner's sudden change to such proper language very coherent was probably an indicator of how intoxicated she also was herself. Had she drank this much?
"I couldn't agree more," Weiss concurred with a mellow nod. "So go ahead, we're all listening."
Blake was much more curious about what her partner would say on this topic than she would've cared to admit. After all, the team had been living together for over a year, and they surprisingly had yet to truly address any of their potential romantic prospects or past relationships. There hadn't been any gossip or any form of girl talk happening in their dorm room, and the faunus realized she knew nothing of her friends' outlook on dating, romance, or sexuality. Weiss had been the only one to sort of graze the matter, given she'd expressed enough interest in Neptune as well as enough disinterest in Jaune to give a general idea of what she was looking for. But even on that, there still had been no chatter at all among the team.
Her eyes fell on Yang again. Was her partner interested in dating? …Had she been checking out anyone? As questions started to unfurl one after another through her mind, a sudden tug coming from somewhere deep down in her gut gave her a sinking feeling she couldn't quite identify.
Yang scooted closer to her sister. "R-Ruby," she started with all the seriousness she seemed to be able to muster. "I know you k-know…not t-to be stupid. S-so that's not what we- -we..ee're gonna talk about. Th-thing is at your age…. no one knows what they're doing," she declared before pausing. "…No one ever really knows wh-…what they're doing," she then added, more to herself. With a shake of her head, she brought herself back on track. "Th-this is why, you can… you can a—at least learn from a-all the mistakes I made. And …y-you can f-figure the rest out for yourself."
Understanding that Yang's speech would be from personal experience somehow managed to drain every drop of fun from within her. Blake couldn't understand why it was that she suddenly didn't want to know. "…You've had a boyfriend in the past, Yang?" she still found herself asking. It felt like something akin to morbid curiosity and she couldn't understand why.
"Three," she corrected.
"Three?" Weiss repeated in surprise. "You managed three at Signal? Before coming here?"
"Didn't last long," Yang waved her hand dismissively.
"No one's good enough for Yang to keep around," Ruby laughed.
Electing not to grace this with an answer, Yang downed her drink at once and wiped her mouth with the back of her hand. "Let's get down to b-b-… business," she abruptly said. "Number one! Y-you need to talk," she declared. "N, n I mean a lot." With this, she shot up, apparently deciding that giving an educational lesson required for her to be standing. "First. C…c-consent!" She slammed one hand on the table and leaned to peer over her sister in a somewhat intimidating fashion. "You know how they say… 'o-one thing led t-to another'…? At some p-point, it's… it's g-goes… it… t-things just. Th-they just start happening," she blubbered. Ruby made herself smaller in her chair in embarrassment, and Yang only leaned closer. "S-so if you're not happy, you… you have to speak up, 'kay?"
"Yeah, okay," the younger sibling instantly acquiesced. "Promise."
Blake had the vague impression Ruby's hurried answer was so prompt because she wanted her sister to get out of her face, but it did nothing to help her case.
Yang grabbed her shoulder now, still as close. "…It d-doesn't matter if y—you… you d-d… you don't know why you want to stop. If y-you want t-...to stop, you... stop," she continued. "And if he d-d-...doesn't want to stop...you kick his ass. And dump him. And then I'm gonna k-...kick his ass too." With this, she abruptly straightened up and pointed an unsteady finger towards her other two teammates. "A-and th-that goes f-for you two a-also. A-anyone an asshole to you, I'm—Imma… Imma kick their ass."
"Thank you for the sentiment," Weiss acknowledged.
"P-protect our own…!" Yang called, plopping down in her seat again. With this, she refilled everyone's drink and both she and Weiss proceeded to down theirs again.
Blake really thought someone ought to slow her down, but the lethargy overtaking her as the alcohol spread through her system was starting to get the better of her. She surely wasn't about to get in the brawler's way.
There was a short silence in which violet eyes stared dazedly at the table. "Wh-….what was I s-saying…"
"Don't force yourself, consent can be withdrawn," The faunus summed up grabbing her own newly refilled drink again. She wasn't quite sure why she was helping her friend at all, she really did not want to fan the flames of this conversation.
"Oh! U-uh, yeah!" she snapped back "You also need to talk a-about wh- -about what f-feels good and w-wh…what doesn't" she hiccupped. "I know it's… i-it c-...can...it can be embarrassing. B-but you have to. I-I mean, if y-you… i-if you m-make sounds, it can help but. B-but everyone needs s-some guidance" The alcohol she was ingesting was making both her speech and coordination progressively worse, and Blake could only stare. She really wished Weiss would do something about it, but her usually so dignified teammate had taken an unanticipated interest in the topic at hand, and Yang's already thin filter was evidently punctured and giving way to everything and anything that went through her mind. "I-I-I d-didn't say i-it hurt a-and my hair s-started glowing… freaked him out," she related.
The image of Yang in pain under a faceless man came to her, and Blake abruptly felt sick. She put her glass down. Why did Yang have to say this? And why could she not shake the appalling feeling that had run her over with this so unwanted visualization?
"Wait, what? That happened?" Ruby exclaimed in surprise. "You never—"
"I-I never told you about any of—of… of… …B-but you're old enough n-now…! So…!"
"When you say it hurt," Weiss piped up in an almost comically studious air, "did you mean… the actual act?"
"I meant—y-yeah, when h-he… when he put it in," Yang bluntly answered. "It'll—i-i-it'll likely hurt at f-first. A-and also the first f-few times. 'Cause th-there's… the….the… the…" She snapped her fingers repeatedly, searching for the word.
"Hymen?" she flatly completed for her floundering partner.
"Yeah! Yeah!" she applauded enthusiastically. "P-partner, reads mind…!"
Blake did not share her enthusiasm; she merely picked up her glass again in an attempt to distract herself. Why was she so irritated with all this? She tried to remind herself that this sort of talk was bound to happen, that it was even surprising it hadn't happened yet.
"Did you bleed?" Weiss inquired. She was paying an inordinate amount of attention to the conversation at hand that she was more or less keeping the blonde on track.
"Y-yeah but… only noticed a-after. You're in the moment, y-you know," she said as matter-of-factly as her present state allowed. "Pain, though—p-pain… it's not just the f-f-first – the first time. It… it c-can also hurt i-if you're tense 'cause you're tighter… n' less wet." She paused to hiccup and maybe regroup her thoughts. "F-f-first times, th-there's less… less…. Less patience, too… y-you need to p-properly be wet okay? Just—that's… y-you need foreplay."
Blake's gaze flowed to the rest of the audience. In spite of the topic at hand, the discourse had taken such a casual tone that Ruby had lost a good portion of her discomfiture and started to listen seriously, as Weiss did. The dark haired woman finished her drink. It felt like a stereotype to be drinking as an escape mechanism, but she absolutely needed something to help numb her incomprehensibly foul mood.
"D-d-do know-"
"We know w—…what foreplay is," Weiss cut in, her liquor finally catching up to her. She was most definitely still more articulate and regrouped than the blonde was, but given that she had at least as much to drink as the blonde, it was inevitable she'd reach a point her speech got impaired.
"G-Good," Yang nodded in approval. "It's important. Take a lot of time w-with that," she stressed, pointing at Weiss then at Ruby, who gulped and nodded, then to Blake herself. Blake stubbornly held her stare. She would not grace her with an answer. "A lot of time," Yang repeated. "S-s-so you need t-to make sure you do….. y-you do have a lot of time. Don't start stuff when… …you won't…. or… …." She trailed off, and something came to her. "Don't have sex when Dad—wh-wh—when… a-anyone's home."
She hadn't caught herself in time and they all stared at her in silence until Weiss decided to break it. "Sounds like a story that… n-... needs to be told."
"Maybe another time," Blake instantly interjected. She could not for the life of her comprehend why she was getting upset, but she knew she did not need to hear any details.
Yang's eyebrows shot up in surprise. In spite of her level of inebriation, she appeared to notice her temper going downhill and opted to move on. "Oh. A-another mistake, I… I…d-didn't know… didn't know…" She glanced between Blake and Weiss again. "Anyone has a condom?"
If either of them had been drinking anything, they would've spat it for sure.
"What for?!" the white-haired lady balked.
Yang seemed to recoil physically from her retort. "Wh-what do you mean what for," she gasped. "Y-y...y-you don't know what they're for?!"
She turned so red, she was almost glowing. "That's not what I meant! I kn—know that!" Weiss indignantly argued.
"Why do you think they'd have any?" Ruby quizzically shot, her face almost the same color as her cape.
The blonde stared, a little dumbfounded. "We… we're all away from home an….a-a-and at th-that…. h-h-hormonal phase a-aren't we?"
The argument was too solid and too real; Blake and Weiss could only glance at each other awkwardly. Ruby now had both hands pressed to her face.
"S-so d-do you have one o—…or not?"
"No!" the heiress flatly retorted a little indignantly. "What di—… What di—…" she paused for a solid five seconds. "What did you intend to do with it?!"
"Sh-show… h-how…" the brawler trailed off, her eyes sliding across the room. It was obvious she was looking for an object she would have used for her demonstration, and Blake prayed to all high heavens for her partner not to set her mind on any of their weapons. The last thing they needed was that safety hazard on top of it all.
Fortunately, Yang's buzz clearly made her completely unimaginative, and she returned her unfocused gazed to Weiss. "Hmm. …W-well, maybe b-blow it into a b-balloon? …sss my birthday after all."
Ruby exploded in laughter, and Blake couldn't help but snort amusedly as Yang shrugged in a completely non-committal fashion, laughing along with her sister. The corner of Weiss's lips stretched up slightly, breaking through the aggravated front she appeared determined to maintain.
Once they all settled down again, Yang looked to have forgotten where she was at; Blake prayed that they could just move on to something. Without being able to pinpoint why, by now it was very clear to her that she didn't want to hear anything about her best friend's tales of trial and error. She knew it was somewhat unacceptable that she was so rebuffed, after all, friends should be able to talk about everything and anything, but she decided she'd analyse all that when she was sober.
However to her disarray, Weiss piped up to plunge them right back into the heart of the topic.
"So you've… told all about blunders and—" She put her hand on her mouth, pausing to stifle either a hiccup or a burp. "And gave w-warnings and all…But what about the... …the good parts?"
Yang instantly whirled around to their shorter friend. "The good p-parts, Princess, is e-ev-...everything else," she shot, wiggling her eyebrows. "S-sex feels gooood. S-someone else touching you is w-way b-better than d-... Doing it yourself."
She crossed her arms, unimpressed. "That is not helpful information."
"W-what do you want from me," she bemoaned dramatically.
"I don't know, tips?!"
The blonde scoffed. "I d-did that."
Weiss shook her head. "You did di—disaster prevention," she retorted. "N-nothing about what is actually good."
Blake could only gape at her. She could never have predicted that the proper lady of the group would be the one demanding sex tips. Meanwhile, Ruby was watching interestedly the back and forth between her sister and her partner; it didn't look like she was about to shut this down.
"Good..? W-what, l-like what…? Positions…?" Yang tried, gaining the sort of motion that read as an obvious 'go ahead' from Weiss. She leaned forward on the table, almost knocking over her mostly empty glass. "C-cowgirl, highly recommend," she shot. "Easy, c… comfortable, you got t—tons of control…"
"…Yang, I don't think any of us know position names," Weiss indicated.
"What?! But—" She looked at Blake who gave her a shrug. She knew, but she didn't want to participate. The sooner this conversation died, the better. Yang blinked in confusion and straightened up in her chair. "O-okay… you… just g-get on to uh…. he lies back," she motioned unsteadily through the air, "a-and you can just…sit," she unhelpfully offered. Both Ruby and Weiss frowned. Yang did another sort of attempt at a gesture through the air, apparently struggling immensely even though she had said it was simple. She stood up, almost losing her footing as the liquor kicked in with a revenge. "L-lemme s-show you," she declared, her unfocused eyes scanning the three of them.
"Show?!" Weiss exclaimed, hurriedly backing away from the table, almost in perfect sync with Ruby.
For Blake, her body wouldn't respond nearly as fast as it usually did. The alcohol in her blood had slowed down her brain processing power as well as her reflexes. Though even if she had processed the information in time, she may have not wanted to escape this fate enough to put any actual effort towards avoiding it, and consequently, she was literally seized by her impressively powerful partner. Yang swooped her up with no effort, not unlike one would a child, earning herself a surprised and embarrassingly girlish yelp from the faunus.
Her outcry brusquely stopped the blonde. "Oh," she hiccupped, directing her unfocused gaze back her sister's way. "C-consent," she pointed out and looked again at the dark haired woman she cradled in her arms. "I-It's fine?"
"What are you even doing?" was all Blake could manage as a whispered response. She didn't understand what her partner wanted from her but being swept off her feet this way was far from unpleasant.
"Sho-showing them, Blake," she repeated as if it'd been completely obvious before strutting haphazardly towards the bunk beds. "Y-you're the g-guy, okay?" she instructed, dumping her on Weiss's bed. "Ruby, l-look. This is good…" she called before climbing in too.
"I'm watching," Ruby indicated with a mix of amusement and dread.
"Why my bed?" Weiss protested.
Yang, firmly holding Blake down on her back, threw a disoriented look in Weiss's general direction; it was unclear if she even registered the objection, but she ultimately proceeded anyways. Without any ceremony, she swung her leg over Blake and plopped down on her hips, effectively sitting up on her pelvis. The faunus stared up at her in petrified shock while the blonde unceremoniously grabbed her hands and stuck them to her own hips.
Her mind was reeling, completely blank. She was passively allowing herself be manipulated, and it was most exceedingly unnerving that she could not will herself to protest her partner's bizarre endeavour. All this should at the very least have had her mildly annoyed; it should in truth have sent her bullshit-meter through the roof! Why was she not fighting back? Why was she not bothered with being at her partner's mercy…? Especially when she had her in such an embarrassingly awkward position.
"This," Yang slurred, looking over at the two spectators. "This i-is a… sure bet. G-good for everyone."
Ruby crossed her arms. "…How's he supposed to move if you're sitting on him?"
The blonde scoffed. "You do m-most of t-the work," she shot. At this, she rolled her hips to demonstrate, completely heedless of the way Blake's hands on her were compelled to follow the thrusting motion or of the way she pushed her pelvis against Blake's body.
The powerful wave of heat that overtook her was dizzying and Blake, flustered, mortified, obstinately stared up at the wooden boards of the bed above them. How could Yang have so little awareness of what she was doing? It boggled her mind that all of her teammates were unruffled by the situation. The faunus nevertheless didn't remove her hands from her friend's hips.
Ruby was still not convinced and she exchanged a glance with her equally sceptical white haired partner. "…So, what….? He just… lies there and stares? Isn't it… embarrassing?"
Yang seemed offended. "First of all, l-looking-…. looking is fun, you know, he'll w-want to look," she said as she gestured up and down her body, successfully drawing Blake's gaze to follow the path of her hand. It was very much in spite of herself that she visualised what her partner's naked body might look like. The blood rushed to her head as she kept staring up at the woman sitting on her. "Second, it's not like he c-c-can't touch either," Yang continued, abruptly turning to her. "B-Blake, you c-… can, you can reach, right?"
Try as she might, she couldn't chase the image from her mind, and it entirely obliterated any other thought process she could've had. "Reach what?" her voice vacillated, and she prayed no one paid heed.
"You're the guy," she reminded her, "th-that means….p-probably the boobs."
It was exactly what she dreaded she'd hear. "…I… I probably could." Her hands remained rigidly embedded on her hips; she could not even think of actually trying to reach.
Yang threw their two standing teammates a triumphant look. "See, it's fine!"
"Okay," Weiss gave. She glanced towards Ruby's way who gave a simple uncommitted shrug. "I still don't think I'd personally like that. Being on top sounds nice…b-... ...but this doesn't feel very intimate," she argued.
At this point, the blonde clearly was a little exasperated that they weren't on board with what she recommended. She blinked drowsily and turned to again stare down at her. "Blake," she blurted, grabbing a firm hold of both her arms to tug at her. "…S-sit up…"
Shaken and more than a little distraught, she mechanically obeyed. As soon as she was within reach, Yang gathered her into her arms to bring their bodies together. Her ample chest pooled onto her, and Blake felt herself blush from head to toe.
It was impossible not to notice the size of her bust when one looked at her, but Blake was discovering it was an entirely different kettle of fish to have it squished to her own body this way. Yes, Yang had hugged her before, but never so tight, so engulfing. Her breasts were moulding to her, and Blake's entire focus was on the fact that just tilting her head down could have her snuggle up to them.
She at once mentally kicked herself. These thoughts were not okay.
It had to be the alcohol making her so very aware of all these details about her partner's body, she decided. It had to be the alcohol triggering so many sensations within herself.
And yet Yang's body truly was so incredibly welcoming, warm and soft; Blake could not stop herself from noticing. It felt like every fibre of her being was heightened, her skin was ridiculously sensitive, her heart accelerated with the rush. The other woman undeniably sparked something visceral within her, something practically impossible to control; her arms evidently had a mind of their own as they snaked around her waist to pull her partner's body impossibly closer. Yang astride from her as they hugged felt criminally good, and she found herself wishing this was happening with the two of them alone.
She kicked herself again. This was not okay.
Oblivious to her friend's internal struggle and having seemingly forgotten about her venture, Yang rubbed her cheek on the dark hair between cat ears. "Oh my god, Blake, you're s-so huggable…" She burbled in drunken awe, grasping at her back, at her shoulders, at the back of her head.
"You hug her all the time," Ruby pointed out, puzzled.
Weiss's focus had not been detracted from the original motivation for having Blake sit up. "This is more like it," she thought out loud. "I could do that."
"Yes!" The blonde bellowed, jolting a little more upright yet still enfolding her partner's head in her arms. Doing this, she effectively pulled the faunus's face in her cleavage and Blake stifled a sound she would not be caught dead making. "I—I t-told you! Good for both…!"
She had been doing her very best to ignore what she could distinctly feel happening within herself, but this brought her to new heights. This whole farce should have been exasperating her, or at the very least it should be leaving her indifferent, but not this!
She could feel her face redden all the way up to her cat ears. She wouldn't even be surprised if she'd been red completely top to bottom, her body was burning, and somehow, she was shaking.
Ruby leaned forward, calling out to her. "Are you okay, Blake? Do you need saving?"
Blake simply held her breath, not trusting herself to answer. She wouldn't even trust herself to gaze back at Ruby in fear that even she, in spite of her notorious innocence, may realize what sort of thoughts were going through her. She sat in silence with her head in a chokehold between her friend's breasts and her heart racing a million miles an hour.
"Sis, I think you may be hurting her."
Yang gasped quite dramatically, releasing her embrace in favor of taking her head in her hands to fussily caress her hair and cheeks. "I'm sorry, Blake! Y-you should've s-said something, y-you—you…" she trailed off, coming to a complete stop. Her hands on her cheeks immobilized her, and she got into her face so close that Blake could smell the alcohol on her breath.
Blake gaped back at her. "…Yang?"
"Blake…Y-you're… you're gorgeous…" she spluttered.
Was that why she'd so abruptly paused? Blake stayed completely still, staring back into her partner's eyes, not even two inches from her face. If I just leaned in, our lips woul—oh no…. no, no, no. The thought had sprang before she could fully grasp its nature, but Blake could not go there! "Yang, you're… really close," she made herself whisper.
"I know. It's to s-see better."
Silenced reigned for an extended moment, no one moved.
"This is getting a little weird, Yang," Weiss pointed out. "Are you done?"
Yang forced Blake's head to turn towards her interlocutor. "WEISS, LOOK HOW PRETTY SHE IS."
"Did you not notice before?!" She exclaimed, appalled.
"Of… O-Of course I had!" She exclaimed, so unbelievably stoked. "But n-not… not th-this close…! U-up close, she's even more amazing!" With this, she beamed down at her, wonder and admiration sparkling in her eyes.
Petrified with what had gone down and what she was discovering about herself, Blake couldn't force herself to smile back.
"Oh my god." The dread in Weiss's voice was palpable. "Yang, is this… becoming…" She hesitated for an extended moment. "…something else…?"
Violet eyes confusedly stared back. "Wha…?" Her grasp on her friend's head stayed quite firm.
"I mean, you've been awfully hung up on Blake this evening." Her gaze flickered unsurely towards Blake for no more than a second. "This," she designated, gesturing awkwardly at the two of them "is still platonic, right?"
This had a mortified shock pulsate through her body at once. Blake felt like those words stripped her naked.
Yang laughed heartily. "Oh, what, I c- -can't… s-say nice things…? To my best friend…?"
"Complimenting is one thing…." the heiress looked unimpressed. "Then there's…next level."
"What do you mean?" Ruby chirped, not catching on.
"Nothing, Ruby," Weiss sighed. "Your sister is simply being extra, as usual."
The brawler finally released her grip, but her arms moved around Blake's shoulders instead. The faunus didn't dare move. Or speak. Her partner straddling her and the casual accusation thrown their way was too much for her to process. "Someone's ge-getting grumpy," Yang teased, sticking her tongue in a way too adorable grimace.
The joke was completely lost on Weiss, and she crossed her arms. "On a normal day, I'd have been asleep four hours ago," she pointed out.
"N-no one's keeping you," the birthday girl shot back a little annoyedly.
"You're in my bed."
Yang stared blankly for a second. "...So we are," she acknowledged as she suddenly seem to remember.
With this, she finally got off Blake and stumbled out of bed. She trotted to her until then forgotten bottle and shook it in a light, horizontal movement to get a feel of how much was left. She evidently elected to finish whatever was left as she brought the neck to her mouth and downed the rest. Blake was so shaken by the last moments, she had to be ousted out of her bunk by Weiss as she got to bed shortly after. Lights were off except one desk lamp around which the three of them gathered.
The next half hour, Blake spent mostly listening to idle chatting between the two siblings. She couldn't get herself to bed, not with her brain going a million miles an hour and her body in the disturbing state it was. Listening and mildly participating in that chit-chat was a welcomed breather after what Yang had put her through.
Nevertheless… the respite of this downtime hadn't brought her peace of mind, far from it. No, because now… now that those distressing and so intrusive feelings she'd desperately tried to ignore at the beginning of the evening had graduated from their nebulous shape and taken a much too identifiable form, they had become impossible to dismiss. Worse, they seemed to be amplifying every second.
She'd keep glancing at her blonde partner and find herself staring at her lips, at her chest, and her mind would wander again to how it felt to have her on top of her or in her arms. Shame would then violently slam into her, and she'd will the images filling her head to smoke again and again and again. Until she'd look at Yang again and the visions were back full force, haunting her.
What brought her out of it was the blonde sluggishly grasping the sleeve of her indoors kimono.
"I…don't feel so good," she glumly whined.
"Just not so good, or…?"
"…Ugh," she painfully moaned.
The faunus's eyes drifted to their team leader. Was this an instance where siblings took care of each other?
Ruby had paled several shades of white into an almost greenish color. Her stare unmistakably implored Blake to step up.
Having read the silent exchange, Yang presented the reason she had chosen to address Blake in the first place. "She also gets sick if someone's sick," she explained, motioning towards Ruby in a faint hand gesture.
Blake sighed. Scolding her about overdoing it with such a sweet and strong liquor came to her mind but she bit her tongue in favor of being helpful. "Do you need help to walk to the bathroom?"
The blonde pitifully nodded, her eyes stuck to her.
With an understanding nod, Blake made her way to her partner, bending slightly to let her move her arm around her shoulders before she slid one of hers around the other woman's waist. Yang leaned heavily on her as she wobbled towards the bathroom and Blake gently let her down to sit next to the toilet. Sitting up leaning against the bathtub, Yang rested her head back and closed her eyes.
Blake went back to their room to grab one of their glasses and to the bathroom again to rinse it and fill it with water from the sink. She took a couple of sips, gazing back at her messy reflection in the mirror. She then filled up the cup again and went to crouch next to her friend.
Yang cracked her eyes open and sluggishly took the offered drink. She gulped down half of it before resting her head back again against the bathtub, letting out a heavy exhalation that sounded a little like a groan. "Sorry I drank too much," she offered. "Y-you don't have to stay with me."
Blake shook her head faintly. "I'd rather make sure you're okay," she insisted. Her friend did not look well, and were she to get herself to bed, she'd only be worrying about Yang anyways. "Should I tie your hair into a ponytail?"
After a short pause, Yang nodded once. "…Yeah," she croaked. "…Please."
Moving from her crouching position to instead sit on the bathtub ledge, Blake gently started combing the copious amount of golden curls with her fingers. She took her time to cautiously untangle the mess as she gathered the locks into one hand. It wasn't long before her friend started to heavily lean her head into her touch; it became apparent that the ministrations were soothing her into nodding off, and Blake decided to let her be. She still somehow managed to tie her hair up, granted not as neatly as she would've wished, but still securely enough given how unhelpful her drunk partner was. With Yang's head comfortably nested in her lap, Blake opted in favour of letting her snooze a bit, content to have the opportunity to be able to openly observe her.
This evening had been a ride, and she had not been ready for what it had brought out of her.
Very carefully, she combed blonde bangs away from her partner's face with her fingers. Her wavy hair was so light and soft, it was downright addictive, and Blake found herself interminably caressing her golden hair. The tip of her fingers eventually brushed her cheek, and Blake paused. Very slowly, she contoured her face in a featherlike caress, admiring her features. She was lost in the moment until another one of those intrusive thoughts jolted her enough she almost stopped breathing. She may never have another opportunity like this one if she ever wanted to know what Yang's lips felt like.
And though Blake forbade herself the very idea of leaning down, she still could not prevent her quivering fingers from inching towards her mouth. It was probably the alcohol that let her dare, because otherwise she would never have risked letting her index trace over her lips.
God, what was she even doing?
She shakily took her hand back, so unbelievingly ashamed. Her eyes nevertheless were glued to her friend's features and the urge to touch her again was stronger than her will. Very tentatively, she reached for her once more, this time cupping her cheek in her palm. She traced her lips with her thumb, marvelling at how soft they were and oh, just pouty enough to be delightfully supple. Blake noticed her partner's faint breathing warming her hand, and… … Her heart jumped in her throat. Had Yang just kissed her thumb?
She didn't dare move. She did not want her friend to catch her red-handed, and she surely didn't want to have to explain what she had been doing because what was she even doing!? Blake could only anxiously stare down at the completely inert blonde, waiting to see if she'd give any sign that she'd been awake.
"…Yang…?" She eventually called almost inaudibly.
There was no response from the blonde.
Only after an extended stillness and silence did Blake start to relax. Feeling her lips press back against her finger had to have been her imagination. She silently exhaled the breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Of course Yang couldn't have done that, she wouldn't. She had just been ranting on about her ex-boyfriends, about sex with men. The very idea of her kissing Blake's hand was laughable, she told herself.
Having properly put herself in her place, she managed to regain some composure. She shouldn't have let her thoughts wander anyhow, she reminded herself. It would serve nothing but precipitate her down a path she could not afford to find herself walking.
Weak groaning brought her attention back to her friend's head still in her lap, and Blake spontaneously resumed combing her bangs with her fingers, successfully soothing her.
She didn't know how long she let her sleep this way, but ultimately, the blonde started regaining consciousness. Although she didn't move her head from Blake's lap, she gave out a faint grunt to signal she was awake. It took another minute or two for her to be alert enough to speak.
"You know," Yang started, her voice raspy and eyes still closed, "I don't let people touch my hair."
Her words sent a cold jolt through her and, more than a little discomfited, Blake awkwardly took back her hand. "Sorry," she offered. "I was aware you were excessively fussy about your hair, but I never realized…"
The blonde hummed in dissatisfaction. "I didn't ask you to stop," she pointed out.
It took her a second to register what her friend was saying; it was astonishing how from one sentence to the other Yang had been able to hurl her down a sickening spiral and up high again to the impression of floating on a cloud. She once more rested her hand on her friend's head and resumed tenderly going through her bangs. "…I'm honored."
Yang exhaled a pleased sigh. "I didn't… say that to make a big deal out of it. I just…I feel so at ease with you," she murmured, pushing her cheek against her thigh not unlike a pet would. "That's what I'm trying to say."
It wasn't something Blake had expected to hear, not even from her, and she unwittingly came to a halt. Yes, she'd indeed noticed her partner had evidently been quite comfortable idly lounging in her company and even getting up in her bubble the way very few people had before, but…
The drawn-out pause finally had Yang look up at her. "You're surprised?"
"…Most people don't tend to feel at ease around me," Blake awkwardly explained.
"I'm not most people," Yang smugly shot back.
It made her smile. "You're not indeed."
"That's why you chose me?"
The question blindsided her, and a sudden silence ensued. The nonchalant attitude Yang had until then had given way to something more invested, more earnest as she almost imperceptibly tilted her whole body towards her. Blake wasn't quite sure what she meant to ask her. Was it maybe about the bizarre way she'd been feeling about Yang this evening? Somehow her heart was in her throat, and Blake could barely articulate her question. "…What do you mean?"
"You chose me, Blake," she repeated, unwaveringly staring up at her. "In that forest."
The vivid memory of the day they became partners flashed through her mind. Blake had chased her through the forest for the better part of an hour before she'd revealed herself. She'd always believed she'd gotten away with it, that Yang had never suspected theirs had not been a chance encounter. Her blood seemed to freeze in her veins as she understood she was just being informed otherwise.
The blonde's gaze was locked onto hers with genuine curiosity. "…Even if you hadn't followed me…" she started again, confirming to Blake she knew about that too, "I was calling for Ruby non-stop and then fought the Ursa without being stingy on the fire dust rounds…I was so loud. You could've turned around and headed the other way about a million times. But you didn't. You stepped out to kill that last Ursa; you made sure I saw you too," she matter-of-factly explained. The gentleness in the amethyst gems unwaveringly riveted to her own gaze didn't take away from how assured Yang looked as she spoke again. "We're partners because you chose it so," she affirmed. "You chose me."
Blake couldn't find an answer. Hearing the course of events laid out this way, it was indeed obvious that it'd been done on purpose. It nevertheless had never crossed her mind Yang could've realized all this.
"…I never understood why you picked me. But I'm very glad you did," Yang commented with a content smile. She leaned her head back on top of the bathtub ledge, and Blake's eyes were glued to her. In spite of the circumstances, the brawler remained unreasonably attractive. How her sickly complexion and those dark circles around her bloodshot eyes did nothing to tarnish her charm was mystifying.
The dark haired faunus exhaled silently, unable to tear her gaze from her. "You know why I did, you just said so yourself," she offered. "You're not like most people."
Yang puffed out some sort of disbelieving half-chuckle at having her words thrown back at her. "Oh yeah, and you knew that back then? How?" She amusedly asked, humoring her.
Although her previous answer had indeed been a direct spin of her partner's pompous declaration, Blake had also been as serious as could be. "I just knew," she simply affirmed.
The tone of her voice seemed to have the blonde understand she had indeed been serious and, with her head still leaned back onto the bathtub ledge, Yang stared up at her questioningly.
Blake laced her fingers together in her lap, thoughtful. This wasn't something she ever thought she'd have to put in words, and as she took a second to find them, her gaze drifted through the bathroom, mostly to their mismatched belongings scattered on the bathroom counter. "I think... from the way you look at people," she offered as a start, still trying to regroup her thoughts. "Frankly and without judgement. With a so very rare willingness to be open and welcoming towards anyone," she described, turning to her once more. "Trust me, being a faunus, I've seen the very opposite of all that too often. In too many people."
Having stopped presenting her faunus attributes out in public had been all the more reason to pay further attention to how the people she surrounded herself with treated her peers, be it direct interactions or body language. "You stood out at first because I trusted right off the bat I would be safe with you," Blake ended up disclosing. "Both you and Ruby, actually."
Yang looked unquestionably proud, as she inevitably would when anyone had anything positive to say about her sister. "So you went after the first one of us you could find?"
For a second, she toyed with the idea of nodding and closing the case, but having already disclosed this much, it felt senseless to conceal any part of the truth. "No. I was looking for you," she admitted. "I wouldn't have minded being with Ruby, but it truly was you I was after."
They stared at each other for an extended moment. It was a rare sight to behold: Yang so thrown off, she was at loss for words.
Before she had the chance to recover and inquire, Blake decided to volunteer the explanations. This was the 'why' Yang had been curious about for months after all. She was probably in the right to know. "Ruby's innocence is where her openness stems from. She's… naïve, starry-eyed," Blake stated, earning a slow nod from the blonde. "It's wonderful that she can maintain this in spite of training to be a huntress but…. you… you know by now. I have baggage, a lot of it…Ruby isn't…" she sighed, opting not to finish her sentence. Ruby wasn't equipped to deal with this baggage, to deal with that darkness, to deal with Blake herself if it came down to it. But Blake didn't want to voice that out loud.
Her golden orbs darted to her partner again. "While you," she breathed, her eyes searching into that endless violet color, "there's a maturity about you… the kind that only comes by having been hurt, by having been wronged. You're wiser than most about the world," she stated so very gently. Something changed in Yang's gaze, and Blake could tell she'd struck a chord. "And yet… yet you somehow still look at this so very flawed world the way you do… with this openness and goodness," she explained, unable to completely veil her semi-incredulous amazement. "It takes someone incredibly strong to see, truly see the world for what it is and still look at people with the warmth you do."
Watching the brawler as she crushed the Ursa then, seeing how much of a capable fighter she was had only cemented a decision Blake had already taken deep down. "You're strong, Yang. Inside and out. And… although there was no way for me to see it then as clearly as I do now, I could still see it," she quietly finished. "So…that's why. All that….that's why I chose you."
Yang remained unmoving, sitting on the floor and looking up at her, her expression somewhere between overwhelmed and dumbfounded. Once she'd seemed to have assimilated what had been said, she blinked several times, letting her gaze drift down. "I… I never thought I'd ever get to know," she admitted. "…And I… surely didn't expect an answer that was so… …" She exhaled a little unsteadily, maybe a little in disbelief, maybe trying to gather herself. "I never knew you saw so much worth in me."
"Yang," she called, drawing her gaze again. The next words escaped her of their own will. "You're likely the best decision I've made in my life."
The very last thing she could've expected was what unfolded then; Yang's wide violet eyes still fixed on hers rapidly filled to the brim with tears which in turn liberally flowed down her cheeks. Blake didn't know if it was the alcohol or if it was because of how fast it had happened, but it took a second for Yang to realize she was crying. "Oh," she breathed, breaking eye contact. "S—sorry, Blake, I-" her breath caught in her throat as she awkwardly trying to wipe her face with her hands. "I don't know, I…" she embarrassedly mumbled, hiding her face in both hands. "Oh my god…"
Alarmed, Blake moved from her spot on the ledge of the bathtub to sit on the cold tile with her friend in an attempt to be more present for her… though she had no idea what to say. Given what had prompted the waterworks, Blake had to guess these were happy tears? She was touched? But…Yang wasn't smiling at all. Was it that being still somewhat intoxicated made her more emotional? The faunus was impossibly at a loss; not only was it the first time she saw her friend cry, she also could not figure out for the life of her why she was even crying.
She questioningly leaned her head, trying to meet her gaze again.
Yang embarrassedly glanced her way for a heartbeat, and then once more. "I've just… I've…" she attempted, before she shook her head. "Sorry, that was weird," she shot, sniffing again manifestly trying to gather her herself enough to offer some sort of explanation. "It's just that—you know I told you… …" she trailed off, giving up on her sentence once more. Blake couldn't tell if it was the alcohol that made it so difficult for her to order her thoughts, if she even knew why there had been tears at all that, or if there was another reason Yang was struggling so much. Ultimately, the blonde puffed out a sour, unamused sort of resigned half-laugh. "Forget it. It's stupid. Thank you for saying that."
It was now clear that Yang was not confused as to what had just occurred and had decided to opt out of explaining. It felt as if she was shutting down. Blake couldn't shake the notion that she was doing so in an attempt to bury something very significant to her and it was almost in spite of herself that she seized the moment before it was gone. "Tell me, Yang."
The blonde shook her head again, evidently very self-conscious. "It doesn't matter. It's stupid."
There was no leaving it alone. "Whatever it is, it matters enough that it made you cry, so it's not stupid," she asserted. "It obviously needs out, so please. You know I won't judge you."
Yang sniffed loudly, grabbing some toilet paper to blow her nose before she pitifully glanced her way again. There was a long silence in which they stared at each other, and Blake very firmly held her gaze. She wanted her partner to know she could tell her anything and she wanted her to feel heard, she told herself. Meanwhile, the fact that she cared more than she could even put into words was something she did her best to relegate to the back of her mind.
Eventually, the blonde gave a small sigh and dropped her gaze to stare at her hands in her lap. "…I…told you already about my mother leaving," she unenthusiastically started, "and how my father completely shut down when our mom—when Summer died."
"You did," Blake acknowledged. "Of course I remember."
Yang gave a half-hearted nod. "…It felt like Ruby and I didn't matter enough for Dad to keep going," she quietly admitted. "…Meanwhile, Uncle Qrow would always be gone… and… Well, I get it. He goes out there to save the world," she explained before taking a long pause. It looked to Blake like whatever needed to be said next, she hesitated to confess. When she ultimately spoke again, it looked physically painful for her to get the words out. "It doesn't change the fact that I…I felt…expendable, and that I always felt that… eventually, when she'd be old enough to stop depending on me, Ruby would leave too. Because everyone does. Because I… don't really matter."
It was just about inconceivable to Blake that someone as exceptional, as radiant as her fiery partner would ever feel this way. Of course, with what was being related, it certainly made quite a lot of sense that she would. Blake simply couldn't wrap her head around the idea, she was so completely at a loss, it almost caught her by surprise that Yang continued.
"Then I started growing, and I got a lot of attention from guys. It felt like… they all suddenly saw me," she said with an uncommitted shrug before she paused. "I'm not saying that to brag or anything," she added, "It's just…" she gestured towards her chest.
Blake could not for the life of her prevent her gaze from dropping to her partner's massive cleavage. She decided it was Yang's fault for drawing attention down there and she quickly returned her eyes up, refusing to ponder about what her friend may have thought of her blatant stare.
If it'd bothered her, it didn't show. Yang sighed lightly and threw the crumpled toilet paper still in her hand she'd used to blow her nose in the toilet. "Eventually, one of them actually found the guts to ask me out— my first boyfriend. I was ecstatic," she recounted, taking another small pause. A nostalgic half-smile took over her features. "To be honest, I think the main reason I liked him was because he liked me. But I didn't understand that back then… so it still broke my heart when he dumped me a couple of months later." She lost whatever small amusement had been on her features. Yang sighed deeply, bringing a hand to her temple as if she'd had a budding headache. "And then the second one came by, and the exact same thing happened; I said yes, about three months later he was gone. And then the third one."
She could see where all that was going, but Yang still voiced it plain and clear.
"I didn't break up with any of them, Blake," she said. "They all dumped me."
Blake couldn't seem to process the information; how was this even possible? How could someone be so blind, so utterly wrong that they wouldn't understand how lucky they were to have her? She knew nothing of those guys, but she knew with unwavering certainty that nothing they could ever obtain in their combined lifetimes would be as precious as Yang was and for that, they had to be utter fools. And so she found herself asking: "…Did any of them tell you why?"
Yang turned to dispassionately stare at her for an extended moment before she looked down to the cold tiles of the bathroom floor. She didn't seem too keen on sharing, but in the end she did anyways. "…Basically, I'm... 'too much'. Too intense, too tough, too scary. Plus, they all resented that Ruby always came first," she wryly related. "But I just…" she heaved a short, somewhat distressed sigh. "I… I mean." With both hands, she pushed back her blonde hair from her face, letting her fingers flow through her it to the back of her head as she gave a slight shake of it. "Looking back, even though I can't say I truly loved any of them… it… it still really stings," she admitted. "I… I kept thinking…. everyone leaves. Even the people who'd picked me! So… there had to be a problem with me, right?" She finally turned to Blake again, searching her eyes as if she'd had any answers. Blake wanted to tell her the problem was the whole world—not her, but Yang hadn't actually been expecting any answer from her, and she continued. "…And that maybe if I tried harder, if I was better, I'd eventually be…" she trailed off, pausing. It looked like the word she wanted to say made her uncomfortable, she obstinately stared at the semi-closed bathroom door in front of them. "I thought if I just kept trying harder, I'd eventually be… worthy," she quietly admitted. "Worthy enough that maybe people would actually start wanting me around."
That's when the last piece of the puzzle fell into place, when the last moments started making sense to Blake. Being told she was valued this much when her whole life, she'd felt unwelcomed and unwanted would of course warrant this sort of tearful reaction from a drunken teenage girl. Millions of thoughts surged through her at once, things she needed her friend to know; how she did matter, that she was in fact so important that she was irreplaceable, and that she was worthier than anyone ever.
She didn't find the nerve to voice any of it. Instead, her fingers brushed over her friend's callused ones. Yang's eyes wandered to her, and, though she didn't smile, her expression visibly softened. She rotated her hand underneath hers to offer her palm, and Blake delicately rested her own hand in it. Yang's hand was invitingly warm. It sent a jolt of electricity through her, and as their fingers interlocked, her whole being was tingling.
Blake had the certitude her partner knew her enough to recognize what she was trying to tell her by initiating physical intimacy. Yang gave a tender squeeze, and only after a long pause did she break the silence again.
"This whole partner thing… It's supposed to be random dumb luck, and to be completely honest, I kinda dreaded it. I didn't want someone to feel like they were stuck with me. It's why I was looking for Ruby even though I was the one who told her she should go out there and make friends," she absentmindedly recounted, distractedly stroking Blake's hand with her thumb. "I knew someone had followed me," she said, glancing her way again. Yang observed her with a puzzled air of hesitation, almost like she was searching to read her mind. "You know, I was shocked when it was you who stepped out of those bushes. You were probably the last person I expected to see given how you really didn't want to chat with Ruby and I the night before. I couldn't understand. I mean, had you been a dude I'd just have assumed it'd have been for my tits or something like that," she snorted, giving a shrug.
Against her own will, again, Blake looked down to her chest. It was embarrassing how little willpower she had that evening; she didn't quite know if it was due to her newly coming awareness that she was not indifferent to feminine charms or if maybe it was the alcohol still in her system. She prayed to the high heavens it was the latter. Yang fortunately didn't seem to notice her wandering gaze. She leaned her head back against the bathtub again. "I couldn't wrap my head around it, but the fact was… you were there. You'd chosen me," she continued, very softly. "I wasn't just confused… I was really nervous. I was sure you'd end up regretting it." Her head slumped slightly to the side as she tilted it to observe her again. Her eyes were glassy with emotion, but she managed to keep her composure. "…Blake… knowing you don't regret it, knowing that now that you've gotten to know me, you're glad you picked me… it means the world."
Blake stared back at her with the feeling of a knife sharply piercing through her heart, and the answer that bubbled up from deep within her sobered her up at once. I love you.
Of course, telling your best friend you love them after they bared their hearts, opened up like this, and showed such vulnerability would only be expected, but in light of what this evening was forcing her to come to terms with... Blake found herself swallowing those words. Dread leadened her entire body and she couldn't tear her gaze from her best friend's features. She knew she did love Yang; she loved her whole team very dearly. But she didn't… love Yang…. did she?
Her silence didn't seem to faze her partner. Yang, in evident need of a hug, took the initiative to shift closer. She turned towards her as she slid down enough to nest her head into the crook of her neck and wrapped her arms around her. She snuggled up to her, and Blake could do nothing but cradle her friend closer. Clearly happy that her affections were reciprocated, Yang pressed her face against her neck to nuzzle her gently, and the sheer pleasure it brought Blake was downright sinful. Never before did she relish being in anyone's arms this way, and it wasn't only for how comfortable and safe she felt with her… Blake loathed to admit it, but it was also due to the tremendously enthralling sensation of her partner's body.
It felt indescribably good, and Blake couldn't help the derailing thoughts and emotions all crashing into one another. She may have refused to think about exactly how much or in what way she did love the woman in her arms, but there was no stifling everything else overtaking her… not with the way her body was so very obviously responding.
Blake felt her heart sink. She didn't want it to be so, but she had run out of places to hide from herself. There was no going around the fact that at the very least… she wanted this closeness with her partner once they'd sobered up too.
And yet it seemed allowing herself to admit this much had her subjugated by the memory of Yang's lips against her thumb, by the present feeling of their bodies pressed together, as if something out there wanted to drive in how much of an understatement plain closeness would be.
In truth... she wanted something she should not have wanted, something that felt downright profane, and yet she wanted it immeasurably so. So alarmingly much, she couldn't fathom how she never came aware of it before this evening. So horrifyingly much, she frightened herself. The blonde's arms around her tightened slightly as she shifted an inch or two to reposition herself. She slid her leg over Blake's thigh to properly interlock their bodies and then sighed contently as she seemed to melt into her. The goose bumps this incited gripped Blake to her core.
Oh yes, there was no mistaking it… she wanted her. Not in some abstract fantasy of soft curves and gentle hands that her novels would romanticize women's sexuality as. No, her desires couldn't be more crudely realistic. She craved the experience of her naked flesh, the heat, the sweat and the tangled hair, the smell of every inch of her body, the taste of her lips, of her skin, even the taste of—… Blake slammed the brakes on her derailing train of thought.
The utter shame she felt over her desires was beyond words. Putting aside their atypical nature, Yang was her best friend. The reason she had let her barriers down and shared this warm and peaceful embrace with her was because she was under the impression she was safe with her. Meanwhile, Blake couldn't help defiling her in her mind….! It made her feel deceitful, even worse, like a predator. She should not be having these thoughts about her…!
"Blake," her voice broke her out of her torpor. "I can hear your heart."
Though she knew very well what the blonde meant, the image of it whispering its truth seized her. "Don't listen to what it says," she quietly requested, not thinking twice.
Yang chuckled. "Too late," she alleged. "It betrayed you."
The faunus was silent for a short moment. There was no way Yang was aware of her internal struggle, was there? "…Did it?"
"Yeah…it's beating pretty hard," the blonde observed, successfully petrifying her partner. The tension in her body had to be obvious because, without moving her arms from the way they were around her, Yang lightly massaged whatever part of her back was available. "I know you like your own space, Blake. I don't mean to make you feel uncomfortable. Just a couple of minutes like this would make me happy if you'll let me."
The immense relief she felt over understanding that Yang attributed her fretfulness to a simple personal space issue was indescribable. She gave a quiet sigh of relief, and in an attempt to make her feel more welcomed, her hand found the back of her friend's head to softly scratch her scalp through the messy blonde locks. "Of course," she quietly agreed. "I'm not uncomfortable, Yang." It wasn't quite true, but she above all would loathe cutting this moment short.
Blake's attentions prompted an almost imperceptible but so content moan from her. "Is that so?" she breathed. "Then maybe I'll stay there the whole night, listen to what your heart has to say."
How romantic the proposition sounded wasn't lost on her, and Blake had to try very hard to remind herself that the intent behind Yang's casual teasing was nowhere near romantic. She breathed out a long, silent exhalation before she gave an acknowledging humm. "I can't have that," she quietly argued.
Her answer seemed to prompt a more serious reaction from her; Yang moved away enough so she could look at her face. "Would it be such a bad thing?" she earnestly asked. "For you to open up a bit?"
Golden stared back into beautiful, mesmerizing violet. "…Yeah."
A yearning, concerned ache tainted her gaze and Yang reached to move her fingers through dark locks. Her hand at the back of Blake's head gently incited her to lean her forehead to hers. "Blake. No matter who you were or what you've done, what matters to me is who you are today. And what you've shown me of you, I adore," she gently said, holding her gaze with a seriousness and conviction that persuaded Blake of her words' unconditional veracity. "So when you're ready, please talk to me," she pleaded with a tenderness in her voice that Blake only remembered hearing in that dusk-lit classroom.
The obsessive idea that she should kiss her reigned over every other thought that could've attempted to take shape. She realized her very breathing quivered. "…When I'm ready," she agreed in a whisper. In time, she may open up about her past… but Yang could never know what sort of desires she evoked in her.
Yang's smile was so genuine and radiant that Blake was convinced she was staring at something holy.
Clearly satisfied, the blonde slid down again a couple of inches and laid her head back where it was, in the crook of her neck as she snuggled back up to her. She held her in a reassuring squeeze for a few seconds before she opened her mouth again. "You're a better friend than I could've ever hoped to find… no dark past or shameful secret of yours would have me let go of you."
Maybe not figuratively speaking, Blake thought gloomily, but certainly literally.
After all, Yang was nested in her arms, halfway on top of her. Would she be fine with doing this had she known that Blake was exceedingly mindful of everything about her body? The weight of it, her breath against her neck, the smell of her hair, and the softness of her skin… Worse –and Blake was guilt-ridden over how much she enjoyed this— but she certainly noticed her breasts pressed to her and moulding to her own body…or the heat from her crotch against Blake's thigh from the way she'd entwined their legs together.
Blake repressed a shudder as the extreme awareness of all this seem to overtake her again, and with this, realizing how actually turned on she was only served to make her feel worse. As much as she enjoyed the closeness and intimacy, she couldn't bear staying with her anymore. "Do you still feel sick?" she asked, eager to do something about the situation.
Yang gave a weird shrug. "No, I don't think so."
"Let's get you to bed."
Getting out of the brawler's grasp was an agonizing mix of relief and misery which served only to mess even more with her sanity. Blake nevertheless managed a somewhat impassive façade as she helped her up and to the room. It was only as she saw their beds that she realized getting her partner to her top bunk would likely be an unnecessary challenge, not to mention a terrible idea if she did end up feeling sick again. She sat her on her own bed and Yang questioningly looked up at her.
"We'll switch for tonight," she clarified.
Yang looked down at herself and the bed covers she was sitting on before looking back up at her. "You want me to sleep in your bed?"
Blake stared back down at her; how was she still so endearing looking so exhausted and ill? "If you were to feel sick again, it's better for everyone if you're on the bottom bunk."
"You don't mind?"
"It's just one night. It's fine," she reassured her again as she helped tuck her in. Blake couldn't help pausing a second to witness her partner getting comfortable in her bed, almost envisioning herself getting in to snuggle up to her.
Yang turned on her side to face her as she huddled into the comforter, her violet eyes gleaming with fondness and gratitude. "Thanks, Blake. For everything," she whispered; the entire portrait sent a jolt through the faunus's body.
Blake's eyes drifted to the ground, she couldn't hold her gaze, not with all the shameful thoughts that had been coursing through her, not with the guilt she felt over the pleasure it'd brought her to take care of her. And surely not with how she'd taken advantage of the situation for her own pleasure, to freely caress her hair, skin, even her lips. "Don't mention it," she uncomfortably dismissed.
"Good night," Yang smiled.
"…Yeah, you too," she mumbled, moving to climb up to her partner's bed.
Though the beds and sheets were all identical and provided by the academy, peeling off the covers to slip into beddings that she knew were not meant to be her own felt akin to slipping into someone else's clothes. It made Blake feel incredibly self-conscious, even more so as she was impossibly aware of how they overwhelmingly smelled like her. She nevertheless made herself comfortable, pulling the covers snugly around herself.
It was inevitable; the shiver coursed through her in turn liberated sudden heat throughout her body. That distinct, unmistakable burning. Being so exhausted from the rollercoaster of an evening she'd had, she didn't have it in her anymore to try and lie to herself about what was clearly happening inside of her. She didn't fight herself to acknowledge she was tremendously aroused by being in the other woman's bed. Instinctively, she bunched up the duvet in her arms and between her legs to hug it very tight. With its smell, it vaguely gave the impression that Blake was curled up around her partner. Of course, it was nothing comparable to when Yang had been holding her a few moments ago in the bathroom, but it was something she could never have had she been in her own bed.
In an attempt to regroup herself, she let her mind replay parts of the evening. She had hoped it'd been the alcohol and maybe the added factor of unusual physical of intimacy that had been messing with her perceived desires but… No. After all, it was not in spite of her being a woman that she was attracted to her. Had it been the case, then… trying to push her limits with images she should've found vulgar or repulsive would not have fanned the flames of her growing lust the way it did. Even going as far as picturing herself kneeling in front of Yang was nothing but mouth-watering.
She exhaled softly, pushing her face in her partner's pillow. She had to get a grip. After all, she could not afford to risk this friendship. There was too much at stake, and she would not be stupid enough to let infatuation permeate and destroy what they had.
No, Blake instantly thought, shaking herself. This was not infatuation. This was nothing but crude physical attraction.
Yes, she was undeniably attracted to Yang, but Yang was by all standards drop-dead gorgeous. Anyone with any level of attraction towards women would definitely be attracted to her. It wasn't because it was her. It didn't have to be her.
That's all there was, she told herself.
There was nothing more to read into, she resolved.
It's not like she had any special feelings towards her. Yes, Yang was admittedly terribly charming, awfully kind, and unreasonably good-looking, but Blake didn't love her any differently than she did Ruby or Weiss.
Except for the part where Yang had her soaking her panties.
Blake groaned to herself.
…Okay, so Yang was her type. Big deal. Case closed.
Case closed, she told herself, curling tighter around the beddings she hugged to herself. All this didn't matter. She would get over it soon enough. The amplitude of it all only appeared to be colossal; it was only because all of this was new to her. In a couple of months, she'll look back and be laughing at herself because this situation was ridiculous after all. When she'll have gotten more comfortable with what it was she in fact was attracted to, she'll stop having those bizzare thoughts about her. Things would return to normal.
This is why it was best to bury this. No one could know she ever felt this way, especially not Yang.