disclaimer: Dark Angel and all its character's DO NOT BELONG TO ME. I just
made up this story. Besides, if you sue me you're not going to get
anything, cause I will not part with my computer and I can't find anythink
else in my room.
sumarry: Max can't take the pressure of the virus and leaves
author: DarkAngelEye
Spoilers/timeframe: sometime after season 2
rating: PG-13 (for swearing and stuff a little later on)
section: Eyes Only
A/N: please don't think that bad of it. its my first fanfic so it might suck. so be warned
title: The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done (ch.1)
I never really realized how much Logan and I went through until I look back on it. I guess I just took it all as it came. We circled each other for a year, and when we finally admitted our feelings for each other when I went to save Tinga and then a few days later to take down Manticore. But then I got caught. I eventually took down the hellhole I called home for the first nine years of my life, but not without some sacrifices. I lost my brother. The big brother you could always count on spoiling things. But he gave me his heart, and I am forever grateful for that.
And now the virus bitch. I wish we had taken all that time a year ago. As Joshua says, "Max and Logan gettin' busy." How so much I wish that were true. I think of when I came back, he kissed me without a moment's hesitation. Because he knew it was truly me and that I hadn't been brainwashed. Now who could ask for a better guy? But he almost died because of me, and that I can't take. I can't stand being around him and not touching his scruffy beard or not being able to lean over his shoulder and see his "Eyes Only" work. All because we might touch, and I might kill him. And if he died I wouldn't be able to live myself.
But now I can't take the tension any longer. I can't stand being around him and not touching him. I never relized how much we touched without me noticing. A brush here or there, our fingures touching as he would hand me something. And then when we got our twelve hours, only being able to use about one. That just kill sme inside. God it hurts! it hurts so bad that I am going to go away. I don't know where to. maybe I'll go to Canada. Zack always wanted me to go there. Except he wanted me to go with him. Or maybe I'll go to Florida. I've heard it's nice there and almost never rains. And it would be far away from the man I love, but can't love at the same time.
I don't know how I'll tell Logan. When I first started thinking about this I thought about telling him face to face, but that would never work. He would talk me into not going, and the next thing you know I would be right back where I started. I couldn't handle that. Maybe I should just leave him a note. Yeah that's good, I'll leave him a note. But it will never be able to express how I feel about him.
I almost backed out a few times. But now I'm really leaving. I going to Illinois, at least for now. I thought maybe I should go to Chicago, cause it would probably be a whole lot like Seattle. Except one thing is different. No Logan, No Original Cindy, or Sketchy, or other people that I am friends with. Ok you gotta stop thinking like that girl, I yell at myself as I feel doubts starting to rise. I am thinking, maybe I shouldn't leave. FUCK! Why can't I just make up my mind??
sumarry: Max can't take the pressure of the virus and leaves
author: DarkAngelEye
Spoilers/timeframe: sometime after season 2
rating: PG-13 (for swearing and stuff a little later on)
section: Eyes Only
A/N: please don't think that bad of it. its my first fanfic so it might suck. so be warned
title: The Hardest Thing I've Ever Done (ch.1)
I never really realized how much Logan and I went through until I look back on it. I guess I just took it all as it came. We circled each other for a year, and when we finally admitted our feelings for each other when I went to save Tinga and then a few days later to take down Manticore. But then I got caught. I eventually took down the hellhole I called home for the first nine years of my life, but not without some sacrifices. I lost my brother. The big brother you could always count on spoiling things. But he gave me his heart, and I am forever grateful for that.
And now the virus bitch. I wish we had taken all that time a year ago. As Joshua says, "Max and Logan gettin' busy." How so much I wish that were true. I think of when I came back, he kissed me without a moment's hesitation. Because he knew it was truly me and that I hadn't been brainwashed. Now who could ask for a better guy? But he almost died because of me, and that I can't take. I can't stand being around him and not touching his scruffy beard or not being able to lean over his shoulder and see his "Eyes Only" work. All because we might touch, and I might kill him. And if he died I wouldn't be able to live myself.
But now I can't take the tension any longer. I can't stand being around him and not touching him. I never relized how much we touched without me noticing. A brush here or there, our fingures touching as he would hand me something. And then when we got our twelve hours, only being able to use about one. That just kill sme inside. God it hurts! it hurts so bad that I am going to go away. I don't know where to. maybe I'll go to Canada. Zack always wanted me to go there. Except he wanted me to go with him. Or maybe I'll go to Florida. I've heard it's nice there and almost never rains. And it would be far away from the man I love, but can't love at the same time.
I don't know how I'll tell Logan. When I first started thinking about this I thought about telling him face to face, but that would never work. He would talk me into not going, and the next thing you know I would be right back where I started. I couldn't handle that. Maybe I should just leave him a note. Yeah that's good, I'll leave him a note. But it will never be able to express how I feel about him.
I almost backed out a few times. But now I'm really leaving. I going to Illinois, at least for now. I thought maybe I should go to Chicago, cause it would probably be a whole lot like Seattle. Except one thing is different. No Logan, No Original Cindy, or Sketchy, or other people that I am friends with. Ok you gotta stop thinking like that girl, I yell at myself as I feel doubts starting to rise. I am thinking, maybe I shouldn't leave. FUCK! Why can't I just make up my mind??