A/N: Day Four of Birth Week! I love TFIOS and one day I just had this idea. I hope you enjoy.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of this awesomeness; it's all John Green's
Longer Than the Average Second Toe
"Hi Graham, can you tell Isaac I'm here. Support group Hazel," said Hazel.
"ISSAC, THERE'S SOME GIRLS AT THE DOOR FOR YOU. IS ONE OF THEM YOUR GIRLFRIEND," shouted Graham.
"GRAHAM, HAZEL IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND," yelled Isaac as he made his way to the door.
"Hi Isaac, I brought a friend with me today. Her name's Kaitlyn," said Hazel.
"Nice to meet you," said Kaitlyn, a bit reserved.
"You too, you want to play Requiem for Mayhem," asked Isaac.
"Sure, you know I can kick your ass," teased Hazel as she walked towards the living room.
"Where's your bathroom," asked Kaitlyn.
"Go to the kitchen, take a right, first door on the left," instructed Isaac.
She left and Hazel flipped her shoes off to the side and sat down in a gaming chair. Isaac got the game going. "This is player one's sexy and I know it voice."
Hazel laughed. "This is player two's not as sexy voice."
The game began. Staff Sergeant Max Mayhem and Private Jasper Jacks are in a bunker.
"Open door. So why did you bring Kaitlyn. You've never mentioned her before," asked Isaac.
The door is locked.
"Grab key from behind loose brick. She was one of my pre-cancer friends. With Augustus gone, I wanted to see some familiar faces every now and then," she explained.
Jacks opens door.
"Take out knife. So that's why you've been playing RFM with me all the time. And here I thought I had some sexy blind guy mojo going on," he replied.
Hazel laughed. "Take out knife. If you had sexy blind guy mojo the ladies would be all over you."
Mayhem and Jacks are now in a cave.
"Walk forward. I just had two ladies knock on my door," he said with a smirk.
Mayhem and Jacks walk forward 200 yards and the path splits in two.
"Take the right branch. I did not bring Kaitlyn here to hook you guys up," insisted Hazel.
Kaitlyn came back into the room and sat down on the couch.
Mayhem and Jacks walk 100 yards and come across a room.
"So it talks to you, how interesting," said Kaitlyn.
"Open door. Did you take off your shoes? My mom doesn't want peoples' shoes to dirty up the carpet," said Isaac.
Kaitlyn whimpered. "But my toes…"
Mayhem opens door. The room is empty.
Hazel sighed. "He's blind, it's not like he's gonna see. Punch the top left brick on the north wall."
The wall opens to reveal a secret passage.
"Enter passage. Just because I can't see doesn't mean I can't hear," Isaac said.
The passage narrows.
"Yeah, but I just don't like them to be on display," Kaitlyn pouted.
"Crawl. Kaitlyn, just take your shoes off. I promise I won't look," begged Hazel.
Kaitlyn took a flat off, then another. She quickly sat in a crisscross applesauce position to hide her feet.
You crawl for 50 yards and the passage narrows.
"Snake crawl. See you're on the path to recovery. Maybe later we can go to the mall and you can get some open toed heels," offered Hazel.
Kaitlyn gasped. "Darling, how could you think of such a thing?"
The path widens and you reach a cellar door.
"Open door. So what's up with the toes? Do you have six of them," asked Isaac.
Kaitlyn played with the tips of her hair. "No, it's…"
Mayhem opens door. Mayhem and Jacks are now above ground. Another bunker is to your left while an abandoned building is on your right. A road separates the two.
"Walk towards the bunker. Her second two is 'too long'," said Hazel, air quotes implied.
Kaitlyn put her hand over her heart. "How could you!"
Mayhem and Jacks are now in front of the bunker.
"Open door. WWAS," said Isaac.
"WWAS," said Kaitlyn confused.
Mayhem opens door. There are two armed men inside.
"What would Augustus say. What are they armed with," asked Isaac.
One has a knife, the other a pistol.
"I throw my knife at the pistol guy's jugular. He'd say that there is no one in oblivion to remember, so why worry," said Hazel.
The knife hits the man, but before he falls to the ground he is able to get a bullet in Private Jasper Jacks shoulder.
"SHIT," yelled Hazel.
You attempt to hit the man, but he has already fallen. The other man advances towards Staff Sergeant Max Mayhem.
"I run and stab the guy in the gut. Hopefully, he'll die. I bet I couldn't tell that your second toes are longer," said Isaac.
The man is bleeding on the floor.
"Are there more of you? Where are they? Have you never heard of the heightened other senses super power of the blind? Do not underestimate my sense of touch," said Isaac.
A mumble of indefinable Ukrainian could be heard from the speakers.
"Well, if he speaks Ukrainian what kind of help is he going to be for us? Let's keep searching. Are there anymore doors," asked Hazel.
Kaitlyn slowly untucked a foot. "Just promise you won't look, Hazel."
No.
"Are there any windows? I promise I won't peek," agreed Hazel.
Kaitlyn stretched her foot out to the end of the couch where Isaac sat. He grabbed the remote and pressed a button. "Pause, where is it?"
He felt around until he grabbed her ankle. "Oh, hi there. I must say you have quite an ankle."
"Yes, it's her best feature besides her face and vaguely British accent," said Hazel as she leaned back in the chair.
"You're acting vaguely Augustus like today," Isaac leaned his head up at the ceiling, "Using your old girlfriend as a vessel to talk to the living isn't cool, dude."
He felt his way down to her toes. "Now, this is your big toe, correct?"
"Yes, this is alarming."
Isaac felt his way to her second toe. He made a face. "It doesn't feel longer, just a bit shorter. Though it is longer than the average second toe."
Kaitlyn looked down at her feet. "Really, you mean it isn't longer?"
Isaac shook his head. "No."
He picked up the remote. "Unpause. Windows?"
Yes, a group of rebels are shooting at you through it.
"GODDAMMIT! SHOOT AT THEM," yelled Isaac.
You do not have a gun, only a knife.
"WHERE THE HELL CAN I GET SOME," asked Hazel.
I do not understand.
"ARE THERE ANY WEAPONS," Hazel screamed towards the TV.
No, the rebels are advancing.
"TAKE KNIFE AND RUN OUT THE WINDOW," shouted Isaac.
Mayhem runs out the window and is hit by five bullets.
"DAMN IT, HAZEL COVER ME!"
"MY KNIFE IS STILL IN THAT GUY'S NECK!"
Mayhem and Jacks are surrounded and shot dead. Game over. Play again?
"Screw this," muttered Isaac before he turned off the game.
"Do you want to go shoe shopping? I can look for some open toed ones," asked Kaitlyn.
Hazel stood up and grabbed Phillip. "Maybe for a bit."
Kaitlyn grabbed Isaac and kissed each side of him like the French do. "Thank you darling for helping me get over my fear."
Isaac just stood there slightly awkward. "Uh… you're welcome."
"Tah," she said as she made her way to the door.
"Bye Isaac," said Hazel as she left behind Kaitlyn.
Graham came running through the living room. "Isaac's got a new girlfriend!"
"Graham, I'm gonna kick your ass," shouted Isaac as he attempted to chase his brother.
A/N: Thanks for reading and DFTBA!