Hi everyone ! Here is my first try at writing a fanfiction, I would really like to know what you think about it.

The show was a success, even if it seemed like they would never make it. Karen was incredible, Julia still couldn't believe a girl so green had achieved so much in such a small amount of time. The last song was a success too, everyone applauded just like Eileen wanted to. But Julia still couldn't get rid of her nausea. Something was wrong.

As she was still trying to get over this feeling she didn't notice the agitation happening in the dressing rooms. Soon the ambulance sirens brought her back to reality. Ivy had apparently taken some drugs, many drugs judging by her state and had to be sent to the hospital. Tom looked devastated, she couldn't let him go alone. She took her arm and jumped in the ambulance with him.

"Tom, are you okay ?"
"How can I be ? I should have seen it coming. Sam told me she was taking way too many pills and I didn't do anything to stop her. I even made it worse by telling her she was Marilyn this morning and not saying anything when Derek chose Karen. Her whole world is collapsing. As her friend I should have done something."
"Oh Tom... Nobody is blaming you, we already had a lot to do. You can't be everywhere."
"I'm blaming me."
"Yeah I know, that's why you're a good friend. And she is lucky to have you, she is going to be okay."

He put his head in his hands and Julia put her arms around him all the way to the hospital. She couldn't bear seeing him as defeated. Tonight they should have been celebrating, instead they were in an ambulance and Ivy was looking really bad.

After some time sitting in silence in the waiting room, Ivy's mother finally came with some good news. Ivy was going to be okay, they were waiting for all the drugs to get out of her system but she was going to be fine.

"She is going to be fine." Tom repeated. He looked so relieved, even if he still had some tears in his eyes. Sam was sitting next to him, all the ensemble had joined them at the hospital. They were all relieved. Tom looked around searching for Julia but couldn't find her. He turned to Sam.

"Where is Julia ?"
"I think she went to the bathroom, she seemed a little sick."

Tom quickly raised from his chair and went to the bathroom door. He was beginning to feel a little bit concerned about Julia.

"Julia, are you in here ?"

As he said that she got out of the bathroom and sat on the ground just next to it. He sat too and put his arm around her shoulders.

"I threw up again, Tom. I never threw up."

She looked at him with scared eyes. They were both thinking the same thing, *not since she was pregnant with Leo*.

"Oh god... Tom, what if I'm pregnant ?"
"You can't be, you told me Frank couldn't have kids anymore. That's why you are going through the whole adoption process."
"He can't."
"...but Michael can."

She stopped looking at him, she couldn't bear his judging eyes. She already wasn't feeling good about herself but seeing him judging her made her feel a lot guiltier. Maybe more than Frank did.

"You are so screwed."
"Maybe not. Maybe I'm not pregnant, maybe it's just stress."

Julia was now in Tom's hotel room bathroom. She was waiting for him to come back with the pregnancy test. It gave her some time to think, what would she do if that test was positive ? Frank couldn't handle it, he already had an hard time trying to forgive her while seeing her work with Michael. What if she was carrying his baby ? Michael would be in her life forever.

Tom finally came back cutting her thoughts short.
Now she would find out where she was standing.

Tom grabbed her hand while they were waiting for the result to appear.

"No matter what, remember that I love you."
"I know."

Negative. It was negative. She wasn't pregnant.
Tom let go a big sigh of relief and looked at her with a big smile. He hugged her. She should have been happy, she had imagined that option in her head and this was a happy one. It meant her marriage with Frank still had a chance. It meant that once Bombshell was over she wouldn't have to see Michael ever again. However all she could feel was disappointment, and she just didn't understand why. And Tom wouldn't. So she forced a smile on her face and said she was going for a walk. She needed some air, some time to think.

Frank finally came into the room. Julia had been waiting for him anxiously, desperately trying to figure out what to tell him. In fact she knew exactly what she wanted to tell him, what she wanted to do, she had never been more clear-headed. She just didn't know how to say it. Anyway, she would have to. She couldn't pursue her life by living a lie.

"Hi". He smiled at her, he looked happy.
"Hi". She responded. She took a big breath. "Frank, I have something to tell you."
A shadow crossed his face and he frowned. He sat down on the bed next to her. He knew this couldn't be good. In fact he had been waiting for this for quite a while now.
"I threw up yesterday, several times. I thought I was pregnant." Frank's eyes widened, she could read surprise on his face but she continued before he could say anything. "I'm not. Don't worry. It just made me think... I should have been happy not to be pregnant, you know it wouldn't have been yours." He looked as if she had punched him, he was obviously hurting every time she mentioned Michael, even it wasn't really explicit. "The thing is... I was not that happy to go back to trying to fix our marriage. This pregnancy could have been a way out for me, and I think I have to seize it even if in the end I'm not pregnant. I'm so sorry, I just have to. I know I am the problem, believe me... I know. I'm the one who brought the weirdness in our marriage, I'm the one who has been asking you to get over it for the past few weeks, and for that I'm sorry. I just can't do it anymore. My suitcase is ready, I booked an early train for me, I'm going to take my stuff from home before you and Leo arrive. Tell him I will call him later."

And she stopped talking. She looked him right in the eyes, waiting for him to react. She had managed to stay calm through all she had to say but her feelings were a mess. Regardless of everything she had been married to him for eighteen years. But he didn't say anything, he looked blank, like if he was still trying to incorporate the informations. Maybe it was better than a big scene. Anyway she couldn't manage a big scene right now, so she stood up, took her suitcase and left, just looking one more time at that man she had loved for such a long time before closing the door.