Axel's POV

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I left for five reasons. Each one I told myself was highly justified and it was a surprise I hadn't left sooner.

Reason #1:

I can't eat anymore ice cream. I hate the way it makes me feel relaxed and how my mind wanders when I eat it with him. I wonder if his mouth would taste like mine and wonder how cold his tongue is. I hate the way I always hope he's thinking the same thing about me.

Reason #2:

The others are noticing. How is it possible that they all suspect but he remains completely clueless? It would have been better if things stayed that way.

Reason #3:

I told him. I told him that I thought he was special and beautiful- yes I said fucking beautiful- and I know I changed things. Why couldn't I have just kept my big mouth shut and kept things the way they were?

Reason #4:

I kissed him. While his eyes got all wide as he was digesting what I confessed a blush crept up to his cheeks and I couldn't help myself. I grabbed the back of his neck so he couldn't turn away and I crushed my lips to his. I should have been more gentle but I didn't know how long I had before he would push me away.

Reason #5:

He kissed back. I waited for him to jerk his head away and push me off, but those things never came. When I did feel his hands they didn't shove me away but slowly curled into my hair. And then I felt an equal pressure on my mouth kissing back. There was a grinding of lips and clashing of teeth and all I could think of was tasting more of him, feeling more of him. We didn't stop until forced to breath.

That's why I can't stay. That's what I'm telling myself anyways. Really, I'm just scared shitless. Scared at what I started and scared I won't be able to finish it. I always know what to say and where to go, I'm always in control. And now that I'm not…

I wonder if he'll be mad at me. He probably will be. But he'll see that it's for the best. I hope it's for the best.

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a/n

Out of the ridiculous number of drabbles I've started but have never finished, thanks to three days of 'Planet Earth' in ecology, this one actually got done.