Death Note
(Quick A/N: I hope you enjoy it - I know it's a bit dark but I think it's one of my best works so far)
At first I thought it was some lame attempt to make me cry.
"Do you wanna go out with me?"
The weird words echoed throughout my head. It was about the seventh time he has asked me out this year, I don't know why I would still be so sensitive about it.
But I do.
It was just a joke. I was the only person he kidded around with about emotional stuff. He didn't dare do it with his girlfriend, Jennifer Warren. The thought of her name alone made me sick.
I stared at him blankly, attempting to take in nothing of his features, especially the way his eyes were shining at me. Never in a thousand year will I ever fall for those eyes ever again.
"You are joking, right?" I asked, a small smile forming across my face. I hoped he was, I prayed to the good Lord himself that he was.
The poor bastard shook his head. Obviously he thought that cheating on his girlfriend was a funny thing to do. If he is willing to cheat on some gorgeous, plausible super model there would be no doubt in my mind that he would cheat on me, a lowly ex-gothic girl.
"Well... I just can't. I'm..."
I couldn't get the words out of my mouth. I was going to say sorry, but I just couldn't muster the courage to do so. Even if he looked like his favorite dog got shot down in the middle of the road does not mean I can feel pity towards him. Just because I have a flower on my shirt doesn't mean I'm all that sympathetic.
"Look. I just can't. I know you and you know me. We wouldn't work out and I wouldn't be able to deal with it all. I'm saying this for me and a little bit for you - leave me alone. We aren't good together."
I turned to leave and he let me go. I walked down the halls and out the door. He still didn't come running like he used to, begging me to go out with him and give him a chance. I just ruined it. Ruined everything that could have been. Would have been.
... Should have been.
"Why are you home so early?"
I shrugged at my mother's figure and walked up the stairs. By now she was used to my moping. After my father died nothing has ever been the same. I had to break up with my boyfriend and my little brother was sent away to a correctional facility because he couldn't handle the pain of grief and had stolen another life of someone his age.
I landed on my pillow and tried to forget about all the pain around me, but it was so damn hard. I just... couldn't let go. Everything was still so new and I couldn't help but feel the need to cry every night. I cried long and hard without any interruption. I cried myself to sleep and woke up with tears still streaming down my face. I was a mess that nobody could clean up.
"I need you."
He had said that to me just the other day.
"I want you."
His sentences rang through my head. I couldn't tell you why, but they were.
"I love you."
I had to stop this. I had to stop this now. I couldn't take it anymore and I couldn't bare the thought of him or anybody else in my life being hurt. So I decided to hurt myself and get back for all the pain that I caused others.
I pulled out the gun from my father's storage area and loaded it with a bullet. I can't say that what I did was pretty, but I can tell you that it was worth it. It was the hard way out - just looking at the gun made me cry. It reminded me so much of him and that made it harder to pull that damn trigger.
"I love you too."
I whispered it so softly that I could barely hear it.
Then I pulled the trigger.
Now I'm gone and left this.
Tell him. Tell him now.
Tell my mother I didn't mean to upset her by taking another member of the family.
Tell my brother that I died in my father's honor.
Tell my friend that I will miss her and I love her so much.
Tell my nemesis that I love him and that I should have given him a chance.
Tell his girlfriend that I hate her and hope she shoots herself as well.
Nevermind that last one. Just let her read this note and see all the tears I cried over her boyfriend. The one who wants ME and needs ME and wants to go out with ME and loves ME.
Tell the world... I love him.