Serenity and Chaos' Virtual Season 5 Series

Episode 1: Waste My Time

Part 1

Craig shifted uncomfortably in his chair, aware of all the attention that was currently on him. He hated therapy group sometimes. He knew it did him some good, but it was weird. "It has been getting easier," he continued his turn speaking. "Except Joey…" he smiled slightly as he amended that to, "My dad has been a little…smothering. Like he's afraid that I'm going to just take off again at any moment." He lowered his gaze guiltily. "Not like he doesn't have the right to worry. I'm not going to do that again, but I understand why he worries about it. He's just making it so hard for me to do anything. Sometimes it's like he doesn't even want me to leave the house at all. Even coming here. He insists on driving me and picking me up after. He says that it's not a punishment, that he's just worried. And I appreciate that…" he hesitated, "…sort of. I like that he cares and is worried, but I just want him to let me be 'normal' again, you know?"

He looked up as a new person joined the group.

Ellie.

Ellie quickly got the feeling that she was interrupting something as she entered the therapy meeting. Late again. "Sorry," she apologized to Craig as she took her seat. "My mom's a little sick so I had to walk today," she explained as she nervously glanced at Craig. She wasn't sure if he was totally comfortable being in the same group as her, though he did seem to be adjusting to the idea a little bit at a time. She knew first hand how difficult it could be to open up to strangers, let alone someone that you had to face every day at school. She tried to remain as non-intrusive as possible as far as Craig went. She quickly averted her eyes before Craig could realize that she was practically staring at him. She pretended to be looking at the clock behind him instead. She was much later than she thought. The meeting was almost over already. She may as well not even bothered coming. Worse her entrance seemed to have brought the room to a dead silence, except for the tick of the clock. For lack of anything better to do with her hands and because the silence was so unnerving, she began to mindlessly snap one of the rubber bands around her wrist.

Craig gave her a weak smile as he settled back in his chair while the therapist brought the meeting to a close.

"So how does that make you feeeeeel?" Craig mimicked their therapist to Ellie a few minutes later as they made their way out of the therapy room. "Sometimes I wonder why I even bother coming to these things. Other than that it would totally flip Joey out if I told him I didn't want to anymore. He'd probably think that I'm just avoiding or something."

He sighed. Speaking of avoiding, he was tempted to ask Ellie if she'd heard from Ashley all summer. It was probably for the best that she'd never called or written. He didn't know what he'd say. It was just that he had no idea where they stood. He couldn't help but feel, though, that this time they were done for good. The virus had stricken. Still, it had been a long, lonely summer. Especially with Marco and Jimmy both gone, too. Which was the only reason that he hadn't asked to stop going to group. Sure it sucked, but at least it let him be at least semi-social.

"So...Joey should be picking me up any minute," he sighed as they made their way outside. "I don't suppose you want a ride...or like to come over and hang out or something? Did that sound desperate?" He paused for a moment before adding, "Because it kind of was. Save me?" He flashed what he hoped was a charming smile.

Ellie gave a weak laugh and for the first time all summer she actually smiled. "Well I don't really have anyone coming to get me today so I guess that I could use the ride. And I suppose that hanging out with you isn't too terrible as long as I'm getting a ride out of it," she smiled to let him know that it was a joke. "But since you are desperate, I would love it." She had the feeling that there was something more on his mind, but he didn't say anything. She figured that he was probably thinking about Ashley. She didn't know why, but she felt a small twinge of disappointment. She quickly brushed it off, though, realizing how silly it was.

"You have totally saved my life," Craig told her as if it had been some sort of life-or-death situation. Which if it were possible to die of boredom, it just might have been. It was weird. He and Ellie had been 'sort of friends' for a while, but it was mostly because they both hung out with Marco…or Ashley. It was never really just the two of them. Which, he thought, was really too bad. Ellie seemed pretty cool. He thought. Except that he wasn't really sure what to talk about with her other then…well…Ashley. Or Marco. But he'd save those topics for later, when he was truly desperate. "So," he started awkwardly, "how's your summer been?" Was he really so lame that he had to resort to that? He stifled the wince and smiled brightly, pretending that he wasn't being a social moron.

Ellie's smile faded at his questions. She cleared her throat nervously and forced herself to look at him. "It's been…uh…interesting. In a boring…lonely sort of way. It really sucks not having Marco around." Ashley, too, but for some reason she didn't completely understand, she really didn't want to mention her name to Craig. "This is the first summer we haven't been together since we started this school. I imagine that the band isn't doing so well without him either…Not that the band isn't great with just you," she quickly amended, knowing from what Marco said that Craig was extremely serious about that.

Craig nodded sympathetically at the first part. Lonely totally sucks. "I know. This is the first time I've ever actually wished for summer vacation to end!" he agreed in an overly exaggerated groan. "But not anymore. Because you and me? We're going to have the best vacation ever. Everyone else is going to be so jealous when we compare our vacations." He flashed another bright smile, knowing it was hardly convincing. "When they come back from Paris…and the Caribbean, and wherever else they've gone." Even less convincing. "Marco's due back some time this week, right?"

"Yeah, I think so. So what have you been doing all summer? Write any new songs?" she asked, not really wanting to dwell on things and changing the subject.

"Yeah. Several. If you call the garbage that's been coming out songs," he admitted a little reluctantly. "Have you ever noticed that nothing much rhymes with 'virus'?" he quipped. "I really need a new muse..."

Was he talking about Ashley? A little surprised, but not sure if maybe she was misunderstanding, Ellie, cleared her throat and looked away. "Well when you do write something good, let me know. I would love to hear you play," she quickly turned the conversation away from Ash and hoped that he wouldn't notice. "You are actually pretty good."

He smiled widely at the compliment. "Thanks. You're not bad yourself. That song you guys did last year? Even if the lyrics were so wrong," he poked fun at himself a little, offering a little smile to let her know that he knew he was full of it. "You really rocked out. We should jam. Or work on a new song or something."

Yes! His mind started working overtime again. He had ideas. Oh so many ideas. But he'd been stuck without anyone to bounce things off of. And there was the whole prospect that there might not really be a band anymore. Ashley was out. He wasn't going to make that mistake again. And Jimmy? Craig wasn't sure that Jimmy was ever going to come back to the band. He hadn't given a definitive answer when Craig had suggested it. It wasn't like he would have to stand up to play guitar, but Craig could understand why he might not want to come back anyway. Especially if Spinner came back on the drums.

He realized that Ellie was speaking and quickly turned his attention back to her.

"Yeah, sorry about that. It wasn't anything personal, I hope you know that. And you really deserved to win. I admit that I was a little vicious with all of the snide little comments that I kept making. But Ash is my best friend so..." Ellie quickly looked away, feeling a little odd bringing up Ashley when she really had not wanted to do that at all. "I'm just... sorry," she finished awkwardly. "But yeah, we should jam sometime. Although I can't promise that I will be any good. I haven't really had much experience outside of the competition."

That surprised Craig and he raised an eyebrow. "If you do that well without much experience, just imagine what you'll be like after you practice a while," he said, mulling that over. Maybe she could take over lead guitar if Jimmy decided not to come back. Or she could stay on base and Marco could play lead…That could work. He looked up as Joey's newest car rolled up beside them. He opened the door for Ellie, then realized he really should ask. "Hey, Joey? Is it okay if Ellie comes over for a while?"

Joey gave Ellie a long look, keeping a straight face. "I don't know…" Then he broke into a smile. "Of course she can. That's great. We can order some pizza. Maybe watch a movie?"

Craig bit his lip and tried to figure out a way to let Joey down easily. Ever since Caitlyn left he'd been a little…clingy. Which he did understand--Joey'd been about as lonely as Craig himself. But Craig was sure that Ellie didn't want to get stuck listening to Joey's lovesick stories all night.

Ellie noticed Craig's look and gave a weak laugh. "That sounds great. And then maybe later you can further my band experience," she teased as she got into the car.

"Oooh! A rocker!" Joey said, impressed. He gave Craig a sly look. "Did Craig tell you that I was in a band back in high school?"

He ignored a little moan coming from Craig as he began to sing Zit Remedy's infamous song for her. "Everybody wants something…"

If Craig could die right now, he was sure that it would not be soon enough. He cringed as Joey even drummed out the beat on the steering wheel as he sang. "I'm soooo sorry, Ellie," he mouthed to her with an apologetic smile.

About the time they arrived home, Joey finally reached the end of his performance. Thank God.

"Anyway, if you guys want a keyboardist..." he look back at Craig, "don't worry, don't worry, I won't salt your game or anything, just...if you want. You know where to find me," he let them off the hook. "Let me know when you guys want some dinner and I'll call it in. Okay? Have fun." He knew that he'd probably really embarrassed Craig, but figured it was good for the kid.

"Thanks for the ride," Ellie called after Joey before turning to Craig. "So, what should we do?" she asked, feeling a little disbelief that she was actually there, with Craig…Alone. Without being there on a mission for Ashley. She honestly never thought she'd be at his house again. Hanging out instead of asking him to call his worried girlfriend.

Craig led her into the garage, which had become not just his band practice space but his 'home away from Joey'. He flopped down on the small couch and patted the spot beside him to indicate she should sit as well. "Sorry about Joey, he can be a little…" he really couldn't come up with the right word to describe Joey. He smiled a little thinking of his adoptive dad. "Weird," he finally settled on. "But he's a good guy." He noticed that all of his 'in progress' songs were spread all over the table, labeled such things as "Queen of Doom" and "Influenza". He quickly collected them up into a neater pile, partially because they were taking up most of the table space, but also because Ellie was Ashley's best friend and the songs were obviously more than a little bitter.

Ellie sat down next to Craig, feeling a bit awkward. They'd never really talked much before today, and yet here she was in his garage. How had this happened again? "Joey's fine. He seems really nice. So…was there something you wanted to play or did you want to just talk or something?"

Honestly, Craig wanted to talk, but he had no idea what to say. "We've never really just hung out before." He felt like such an idiot. Why couldn't he just talk to her like a normal person, not a socially inept loser? They were friends. At least by proxy. He shook his head. "Sorry. I swear I am so lame sometimes." He picked up his guitar nervously and started playing the first few lines of the song he'd most recently been working on. "Influenza". But like Ellie really wanted to just come over and watch him play guitar and write songs? He looked back over at her, embarrassed. "Sorry. I don't know why I'm so…nervous." Which he was definitely nervous. His leg was bouncing, even. He made a conscious effort to stop that. "I think I've lost all my social skills this summer," he joked, smiling at her. "You want to maybe help me out with this song? There's something not quite right with the melody and I've been having trouble with the lyrics. They're really…well…they're really crappy," he admitted, glancing at the page.

"Aww, don't say that. I am sure that you will figure it out. I don't really know much about this kind of thing, but maybe you just need to change the direction that you are going in. Or... find an inspiration source. Like nature or something."

Craig caught himself staring at her for a few moments. An inspiration source? She was right, of course, because Ashley just wasn't it anymore. He nodded slowly, mulling it over. "A new inspiration source…"

Nature. Okay. So…trees. Rocks. Yeah, this wasn't going to work. He frowned with frustration then looked over at her as she picked up a pencil and leaned over a page, tapping the pencil lightly against the table. He was struck for a moment by how sad her eyes were, even when she looked up a moment later and gave him a shy smile as she caught him watching her.

His head cocked to the side as he noticed the way her hair shined, even in the darkness of the garage.

An inspiration source.

They exchanged shy smiles and leaned over the page, getting to work.