Title: Remembering
Author: Chickee1
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: GSR
Authors, note- Italic is grissom remembering what happend in S.F.
Summary: What was going through Gissrom's mind when he saw Sara in 'Cool Change'.
Disclaimer: I don''t own anything or anyone from CSI, the show and its characters belong people other than me. I am borrowing the characters for my own enjoyment. The song does not belong to be, it belongs to James Blunt- goodbye my lover.

It was like a dream, a dream that I have had many times before. Seeing her again for the first time, I didn't know how to react, or even what to say. Seeing her, seeing her smile it was like before she simply took my breath away.

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.

I can almost remember it like it was yesterday. I was teaching a semester at the University of San Francisco and she was late for my class. As she walked in I saw that her cheeks were red, as if she'd be running trying not to be late. I tried to forget about her throughout the class, however I found my eyes wondering to find her. And every time my eyes wondered, hers connected with mine and she smiled, smiled that beautiful smile.

"I don't even have to turn around, Sara Sidle", I said with a smile as I turned to face her. Face her for the first time in I don't know how many years. It's been so long now, I should have never let it get this long without seeing one another. "It's me" she answered with her beautiful smile, the same smile that gets me every time.

You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

After that first day, she stayed after class to apologize for being late. I smiled, "It's not a big deal, I never worry about the first class. Just don't let it happen again". She nodded her head, "Because I feel so bad, would you let me at least buy you some coffee". I couldn't resist, I smiled back at her, as got a slight blush as well as she lead the way.

We talked for a few moment about the stimulation dummies that I was using to find out what had happened to the guy in which I was investigating. She called me 'Old School' because I prefer to actually see it rather than watch it on a computer. I'm a scientist, its what I do.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

We talked for hours, about everything and anything. She was so curious, and not only about the bugs, but the job and what really caught me was me. She was interested in me. She asked me how long I'd been a CSI and when I told her, it was as if she'd run into a wall. "10 years, no way. You don't even look that old" she said. I took it as a compliment. "Thank you Miss Sidle. Shaking her head, she padded my arm ever so lightly, "I didn't mean it like that Dr. Grissom. I mean you look incredible good for your age. And please call me Sara". I nodded in agreement with her request, "Only as long as you call me Gil'.

She asked how Holly was doing, and I couldn't lie. "Not good, doesn't look like she's going to make it", I said. I wish that this hadn't had happened, but at the same time I'm glad. I never had the nerve to phone Sara and invite her to visit me in Vegas, nor had I the nerve to see her in San Francisco. I guess in a way this was my second chance, a chance in hopes of fixing things, fixing the way we left things so many years ago.

I am a dreamer and when i wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd be the father of your child.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

The semester had gone too fast for both mine and Sara's liking. We were inseparable for the rest of my stay there. I had connected with her like no one else. She understood me and why I was like the way I was, and I did the same for her. She completed me, and what I had felt for her those few months I knew was love. My heart, my eyes, were all blinded by her, by her love. Her love for forensics, for wanting to the truth, but also her love she felt for me. "I think I'm falling in love with you" she whispered one night as we walked towards my hotel hand in hand. "Sara I'm leaving tomorrow" I said looking at her. She placed her finger on my lips, "Than let's not waste tonight" she said as we walked to my hotel room. That night we made love, we were finally complete. As we reached our peaks and collapsed onto the bed, she snuggled her back into my chest. "I love you too" I whispered as I kissed her head. She turned to face me, we kissed passionately and made love again for the second time that night.

"God Sara I have so many unanswered whys", I said to her. By the look on her face I saw what she was thinking. The fact that I didn't only mean this case and what Warrick was thinking, I wanted to clear things up with her, I needed to clear things up with her. "There's only one why that matters now. Why did Warrick Brown leave that scene", she said. She was right, it wasn't the time nor place to talk about things, to talk about us, or the past and what we did have.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

The next day she came with me to the airport, saying goodbye to her was the hardest thing I think I'd ever had to do. Within a few short months I had gained a friend, a lover and now I had no choice but to say goodbye. Goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. "We'll see each other again. I love you" I said as I placed my hands on her face and kissed her softly. "I know, it just seems like all of this was a dream" she said, as she tried to fight back the tears. "You have my number and my address. Sara this isn't just a semester hookup. You mean so much to me, more than words can say. But know this, I'm not that far, and if you ever need me, you know how to get a hold of me. I have to go. I love you". As I headed towards to boarding gate, I heard her call me. I watched her as she singed 'I love you' to me with her smile. And that was the last time that I had seen Sara Sidle.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

I was re-watching 'Cool Change' and the idea came to me about GSR having a relationship while he was in S.F and than seeing her again. Please R/R. And Hopefully this one doesnt do that fuky spacing thing.