Chapter 1

Life never felt so hopeless before. The days seem longer the nights seem more life less and the nightmares never go away. I dream of him every night. My every thought belongs to him, my gothic mate. So now I lie here on the steps of the mansion thinking again of him. I remember watching stupid chick flick movies with Becky and laughing when the guys always left the girls. It amused me how pathetic they become after the breakup and never thought once I would be put in the same position. But now I know how wrong I was. Alexander left me and I was hopeless, nothing without him. I shuddered at the memory of the incident but could never stop myself from replaying it.

"Are we going to your house tonight?" I asked.

"No." Alexander stiffened when he said it. I was confused. He said we needed to talk but I didn't know it was this serious. I smiled at him and took his hand into mine. We were walking from the cemetery to what looked like my house. He stopped when we were in front of it.

"This isn't easy for me to say." he spoke in a hard voice. He pulled away from our entwined hands. "Raven it's over." I looked at him. This had to be a joke.

"What?" I didn't mean for it to come out like a whimper.

"I can't see you anymore. It's over." His beautiful chocolate brown eyes were serious. His lips were in a tight line. I suddenly felt dizzy. He kept going before I could get a word in. "Raven your just not right for me." I opened my mouth to say something but nothing came out. "I'm sorry it had to happen this way but I can't go on living this lie."

"What are you talking about?" I almost yelled at him. "How could you say that? I thought you loved me." My eyes felt watery but I pulled back the tears.

"Raven lets not cause a scene-" I cut him off.

"This isn't real." His emotion changed to something like sadness but he was emotionless again before I could really read it.

"I'm leaving tonight."

"Why?" It came out as a whisper.

"I've decided that living among humans is not something I like anymore. I hate pretending to be something I'm not. I'm not human Raven."

"I know…I don't care. Alexander I love you…please." The tears came quickly now. I couldn't stop them.

"I'm sorry, but your better off without me anyway. This is your chance to live a happy normal life."

"I don't want to live at all if your not part of my life." The words were barely comprehendible but he nodded.

"You'll get over me. I know you will."

"No I won't." He came closer to me and kissed my cheek.

"Goodbye Raven." I tried to hold him to me, to never let go but he was gone before I could get my hands up.

That's why I'm here now. After he disappeared I ran to the mansion and I've been sitting here for two hours now. It's probably midnight, but I don't care. I wasn't moving.

"Raven." I heard my name coming from the side of the mansion. I turned my head. The voice sounded like Alexander's. My heart accelerated. That means he's here, he didn't leave yet. I ran to where his voice came from. Then listened.

Nothing but silence.

I'd imagined it. I felt tears about to come when I heard his voice again.

"Raven." Okay I'm definitely not imagining it. This time it came from behind me at a distance. Maybe he was waiting for me at the gate. I ran as fast as I could to the iron thing and squeezed through the open crack to the outside. I turned around slowly listening again. This time the voice was further away, down the street. Were was he planning for us to meet. The cemetery? I didn't want to waste anymore time so I ran to the cemetery.

"Raven." I stopped dead on my tracks. I turned left to where I heard my name. It was coming from the woods. That was odd. We never met there before but maybe he didn't want old Jim interrupting his time with me. I took slow steps forward still unsure.

"Raven come." That made me run, the voice sounded so close. I ran deeper into the woods before stopping. Where are you Alexander? I thought to myself. It was getting colder and the silence became eerie. It was dark here. I've never been afraid of the dark but now I found no comfort in it.

"Alexander?" I said it out loud hoping he'd hear me and come.

But nothing.

My knees were shaking from the cold. Why was it so cold all of a sudden? I felt confused and - dare I say - scared. I dropped to my knees. I wasn't fit for this. I really wasn't. I crawled to a near by tree and curled my self in a little boll. I cried and cried and didn't stop. I didn't care anymore, I felt empty, and pain. A lot of pain.

I woke up hearing beeping noises.

Beep, Beep, Beep

I felt like hitting something. I opened my eyes and found myself staring at a ceiling.

"She's awake Paul." I heard my mothers voice. I turned to face her. She looked like she's been crying and hadn't slept in days. My dad was standing next to her. She smoothed my hair. "How are you feeling?" I found it painful to talk but managed to say some words.

"I feel sleepy." She chuckled, almost as a sigh of relief. My dad took my hand.

"Thata girl." My body felt numb, and my brain was foggy.

"What happened?" My voice cracked when I spoke.

"Well when you didn't come home after twelve your father and I grew worried. So we went out looking for you. When we didn't find you I called the police. They found you curled up by a tree in the woods, mumbling something about hearing his voice. You had some cuts and burses on you so that's why you're here at the hospital. Oh sweets I was so worried about you." She started to cry and my dad put an arm around her to keep her steady.

"I feel fine mom really. So when can I leave and where's Billy?" I was about to babble on even with the pain.

"Billy's fine. He's down stairs in the cafeteria and they said you can leave once you get some rest. The doctor said you might have hit your head so there giving you pain killers. Tomorrow maybe they'll let you leave." My eyes started to drop but I tried to keep them open. "It's okay, sleep sweetheart. Don't worry about anything just get some rest." She kissed my forehead and I drifted off.

(A/N) Hope you liked it! Let me know what you think. If I get enough demands then I may just put up another chapter. :)