Knuckles entered Sonic's room. Sonic was there, sitting on a couch, eating Nutella with a spoon straight from the jar.

"Sonic, how many jars of Nutella have you eaten throughout this week?" Knuckles asked Sonic.

"Only about 1200!" He answered. "Nutella is so fucking good, I just can't stop eating this cream! I want to stop, but I just can't…"

"Yesterday you said tomorrow, so why won't you just go on a diet?"

Sonic looked at the jar of Nutella he was eating. The cream was calling to him: "Eat me! Eat me! I want to make your belly happy!" Except Sonic's belly was the size of a hippo.

"Okay mate, I guess I have to do something with my problem…"

Knuckles thought for a second, and came up with an idea.

"I know!" he said "I need to use my fists on your ass, to make sure if you can withstand my special diet."

Then, without a warning, Knuckles punched Sonic's ass. Sonic felt pain, but it felt so right that he cried tears of joy.

"Your ass doesn't even show any signs of damage. You are ready for my diet."

"Cool! What do I have to do?"

"Just follow me."

They went to the railroad outside of the city.

"Now Sonic, we both must stand here together, as the train moves toward us and crushes us into bloody pieces." Knuckles pat Sonic on the back.

"I don't know about this Knuckles, are you sure about this?" Sonic asked, clearly not happy about the thought of a train ripping him apart.

"I'm 100% sure. I'll be standing just behind you. You will take all the force from the impact and explode. The explosion will launch me up in the air just before the train hits me, so don't worry about me."

"Uhh, okay. You're the boss."

"Yeah, that's a routine for me. Besides, the train is probably still a bit far away, so we can talk a bit about our relationsh- *BANG* "

The train came with the speed of light and destroyed Sonic. Knuckles survived, somehow.

He went to his basement and drew a pentagram on the floor with his shit. Then he lighted up the candles and started a Black Mass.

"Oh, Dark Lord Satan, I offer you this fine banana nectar I've got here, it says it's got at least 25% of bananas, so you know it's quality. In return, I ask you to bring my dead friend Sonic back to life!"

Satan accepted Knuckles' offer and took the banana nectar Knuckles has prepared. Sonic then appeared on the pentagram. He was slim! :O

"See, Sonic? I told you I'll make you fit!"

"Yeah, thanks Knuckles!"

And then they both went to the church, and thanked God for his love."

THE END