TITLE: He Didn't Look Back
AUTHOR: Vid Z.
PAIRING: Harm/Meg, other canon relationships
RATING: T
TIMELINE: Boomerang, during Mac and Bugme's makeout session at the airport
DISCLAIMER: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc of the TV show JAG are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author of this fic. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.
AUTHOR'S NOTES: the idea for this plot first came to me about 4 years ago, but I was either too lazy or had no real inspiration to write it. There were two scenarios, one with Harm accidentally dropping a ring he had bought after the ferry to give to Mac and the other was this. I hope you like it.
SUMMARY: what would've happened had Harm taken heed of the Admiral's advice at the airport in Sydney and not looked back.
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"Don't look back, Commander." warned Admiral and for once in his life Harm ignored his heart and refused to look back.
Just as well, because had he looked back he never would've seen a flash of golden hair on a familiar figure in white Naval uniform. Immediately after that the woman was swallowed by the crowd. He wouldn't have seen her had he either hesitated for a second or looked back to Mac to have his heart broken further. His life would've been much different. Worse.
"No it can't be." Harm whispered and took a step forward. He wasn't sure he really saw what he'd seen, but there was no way he could ever not recognize that distinct golden hair, the way she carried herself, the shape of her back and the long, long legs he'd admired from close up so many times years ago.
Chegwidden heard the whispered statement and frowned. "Commander?"
Harm looked hesitantly towards his CO and then forward again. In that second he was struck with the realization that this was one of those rare few moments in which our life is decided, a turning point, and the way he would act now would forever decide his oncoming years. Decades, his entire life even.
It took him only a fraction of a second to decide and then he was running full pelt towards where he'd last seen the woman.
"Commander!" he heard the Admiral yell after him, but he paid his superior no heed and pushed on, his heart furiously pumping blood through his veins.
His progress was then slowed down by the crowd, but with his superior height over them he could get glimpses of the golden colour, which he used to navigate.
He was gaining hope to reach her and couldn't believe his immense luck at the fact that she was even moving towards his gate!
When he finally saw her fully he thought his heart would stop.
It was really her!
She was just about to check in and he knew he couldn't let that happen. He'd regret it for the rest of his life.
With a desperation that he'd never known he shouted her name. "MEG!"
x
Meg thought she'd heard the dear voice from her past scream her name and stopped in her tracks. But it couldn't be. She was in Sydney to switch planes, Harm was in DC, there was no way he could be here!
Shaking her head she resumed her walk towards the gate when she heard it again, but this time it couldn't be just a figment of her imagination. "Lieutenant Austin, HALT!" the command in his voice was clear and she stopped from reflex. She'd never heard Harm give her an order since their first case together and certainly not in that tone, but after years in the Navy she reacted to such tone without thinking.
Slowly she turned around and saw something she never thought she'd see again. Harm, her best friend and the best and most compatible partner she'd ever worked with, the man she'd been missing horribly, was running towards her with everything he had in him.
When he suddenly stopped in front of her and just stared at her, with her staring back at him, it felt anti-climatic compared to the rush he'd been in. Meg was truthfully disappointed, since he'd shown such joy at seeing her, that he hadn't taken her into an embrace and swung her around like in those romantic movies she liked to watch.
She was dimly aware they were causing a scene, but she also knew that they couldn't help it. Something had taken them over, a kind of wonder and happiness that overwhelms people only when they meet dear friends, for whom they still carry a torch burning with a steady, strong flame. Harm was gazing into her eyes so deeply that it looked like he was drowning in them. But then so was she.
"Hi" he finally said and stepped forward.
"Hiya." was all she managed to say back before Harm did something completely against protocol for uniformed personnel and grabbed her in a big hug, burying his face in her neck.
Their moment together was broken with a loud clearing of throat. Harm and Meg reluctantly disentangled themselves from each other when they heard the familiar voice reprimand.
x
"Commander Rabb, please release the lady."
Harm, who'd moved away just enough to see her face, smirked at her and received an identical smirk in return.
"Look who I found, Admiral." Harm announced cheerfully, moving to stand by Meg's side, and kept a hand on the small of her back, needing the small contact to reassure himself that she was really there.
The Admiral's face was a picture of shock, not having predicted something like this when Harm had suddenly started running. Just slightly behind Chegwidden was Bud, who's eyes were like saucers, his delight at seeing Meg again quite apparent. He owed her his lawyer career and even marriage, for she had been the one to recommend him to be transferred to JAG and the HQ, the dream posting for any lawyer, which is where he and Harriet had gotten a chance to be together.
Mac was nearing from further back, Bugme at her heels. When she saw him it was antipathy at first sight for Meg as she glared at the man who was leering at her.
The Admiral barely held in a snicker at seeing the sight of Harm and Meg, standing side by side, as if made for each other and both glaring at Brumby with the exactly same expressions. It seemed as if the last few years hadn't happened and he was back in 1995 when the two were still partners and the fear of criminals and lawyers alike. It was amazing how they'd clicked so immediately, establishing a bond that was the envy of everyone they met, a bond that Harm and Mac hadn't managed to create even after 3 years and with the developments of the last year (mostly last six months and especially of the last few days) never would, of that Chegwidden was sure. Even physically were Harm and Meg so right together, both stunning specimens of their genders, both tall, very attractive, blue-eyed and utterly compatible.
He stepped forward and greeted her, if only to prevent Bugme getting his crap beated out of him. Again. The man would never learn. Added to that he was one big hormone with legs. "Lieutenant Austin, it's great to see you again."
She smiled. "Thank you, sir, great to see you again too."
"You've been missed at the HQ." he said, as if it was some kind of a secret.
Meg instinctively glanced over her shoulder at Harm and replied. "I've missed HQ too." It was obvious who she'd meant and from the corner of his eye Chegwidden saw Mac scowl. He could've sworn he'd heard her mutter something that sounded suspiciously like "Another blonde bimbo."
He held in a grin, Mac was feeling threatened by Meg. As well she should, for not only was Meg in a completely different league than Mac, intelligence, competence, value-to-the-Navy, personality and emotional-and-general-maturity-wise, but she had a much more important spot in Harm's heart. Perhaps Harm himself didn't know it, but the Admiral knew that if he had to choose Harm would always choose Meg over Mac. He couldn't wait until Meg would prove to Mac just how wrong the stupid-blondes-stereotype could be. He just hoped he'd be there when Mac would see the light. Too bad it would be unprofessional to bring a camcorder.
After having greeted the highest ranking officer Meg could finally greet Bud.
"Bud! What happened to you?" she asked in concern.
Bud mumbled something uninteligible in reply. She frowned. "What kind of an accident, Bud?" The unspoken 'you had better tell me...' was clear in her voice.
Bud mumbled something again and Meg threw a harsh glare at the Aussie and then a much softer one at Harm. "You broke his jaw!?"
"He got in the way." Harm absently explained, surprised that she understood Bud. "How can you understand him?"
Meg rolled her eyes. "You would've understood him too had you grown up around energetic cowboys. They always had something broken. Wired jaws weren't that uncommon. Their favorite past times are chasing skirts and having bar-room brawls, after all, and both end with fist fights many times."
"Ah." Harm acknowledged, but her explanation had just raised his anxiety. The thought of his sweet, innocent Meg around those rowdy, horny cowboys just didn't sit well with him.
Meg rolled her eyes again, this time letting out a huff of exasperation, and looked at him. "I meant my brother, Harm."
"Oh." Harm looked very sheepish, much to Bud and Chegwidden's amusement. But not to Mac's. It was becoming increasingly clear just how much this blonde beauty had had him whipped while they'd been partners and how much this was still true and Mac didn't like it. "I never would've thought that Jack was like that. He's probably the most wholesome person I've ever met. Probably even irons his underwear."
Meg giggled. "Maybe now, but he wasn't always like that. And he does NOT iron his undies." The last was said with indignation, which turned into a smirk. "He just has them labeled according to the day he wears them."
Harm laughed. "Well, at least he doesn't still have his name written on them. Margaret sure raised a weird son."
"Hey, that's my brother you're dissing!" complained Meg, but then laughed as well.
Others stared at them puzzled. Chegwidden had known that they'd been good friends, but he hadn't known that Harm knew Meg's family personally. Bud and Mac were stunned as well, this had obviously been something much more than just mere professional partnership what with Harm knowing her family and even calling her mother by name, which made it obvious that he was good friends with the aforementioned mother.
Finally noticing the woman standing with the sleaze that made her skin crawl Meg sobered up and introduced herself. "LT Meg Austin, Harm's former partner, LtCol..."
"MacKenzie. Sarah MacKenzie." Mac introduced herself with a cool voice. Then turning to Brumby she started "And this is my..."
"...fiance, RAN LCDR Michael Brumby." supplied Harm. Mac scowled, just because she'd slept with the man, performed tonsillectomy on him out in public and accepted his engagement ring didn't mean he was her fiance!
Then her stare became puzzled. What was wrong with Harm? He'd been all broken hearted, hurt and remorseful, just the way she'd wanted him when she'd initiated the tonsil hockey with her lover, to rub Harm's face in it to make him see what he'd brought upon himself by rejection her. Then suddenly he'd been running like a madman through the airport and when they'd found him he'd been hugging some strange woman like a long lost lover. And of course she had to be blond!
x
Mac didn't know where this prejudice against blondes when connected with Harm had come from since most of his relationships had been with brunettes, but for a reason unknown to even herself she was allergic to blondes. Only when they were somehow connected to Harm.
Meanwhile Meg quickly just said "Hi." to Brumby and then looked at Harm, dismissing the Aussie, and thus prevented Brumby from doing or saying anything that would make her deck him or something like that. Okay, it was a rude behaviour, but there was something about that guy that disturbed her and she surely didn't want to shake his hand. If she did she would probably have to go wash her hand with an industrial-strength soap.
Turning to Harm she caught the same expression of distaste on his face and smiled to herself. They were still very much alike. "Going back to DC?" she inquired of her ex-partner.
"Yeah. Where are you headed, anyway?" he was curious, not having heard from her in a while.
"Weapons finally released me from their development project they'd abducted me for and I'm to report to my supervisor at the Pentagon before getting my new assignment." the stress of the past few years and how much she'd missed Harm was evident in her eyes and it gave Harm the strength to finally admit to himself just how much he'd missed her. Suddenly a glint came on in his eyes.
Turning to Chegwidden he asked his CO an important question. "Sir, would you agree with me that HQ is understaffed?"
Their old connection was still working and Meg understood immediately what he meant. Hope came back to life inside her, being back at HQ with Harm was something she'd wanted in a while.
The Admiral hadn't caught on though, so he answered bewildered. "Yeah, actually that's something that I've been thinking about lately. We need to expand our staff, especially since we take on the majority of cases. It's weird that the HQ has less lawyers than a normal midsized law office."
Harm answered, with the begining of a grin on his lips. "I've got just the perfect person in mind, sir. She's already house-broken, potty-trained and doesn't bite the mailman. And she's the best damn lawyer I've ever seen. She'd be an asset to the HQ and had Weapons not stolen her then HQ would've still been working fluently. Not to mention she's a genius in dealing with paperwork."
Chegwidden's lips twitched. He'd finally seen through Harm's plot. "Well, who is this lawyer, Commander?"
Harm grinned fully and slung an arm over Meg's shoulders, as if introducing her. "Sir, I'm asking you to have LT Austin reassigned back to the HQ, where she belongs." his voice turned pleading then "You know that she wouldn't have gone in the first place had those bastards in Weapons not stolen her from us. She belongs to JAG and HQ at that. Besides, she wants to go back. Isn't that right, Lieutenant?" he asked an equally grinning Meg, who chirped.
"Yes, sir, that's right."
Chegwidden caught Mac's clearly unhappy expression from the corner of his eye. Harm was already sunk with Mac as it was, he himself had seen just how in tatters their friendship because of his flying. Mac had never forgiven him for going back to flying. Chegwidden had the feeling that Meg would've handled Harm's flight duty differently had she been in Mac's spot.
Meg had always understood and supported Harm's love of flying, she understood that it was in his blood, and had apparently loved every time they were able to take a Tomcat to their case. She'd never held flying, or anything else, against Harm.
This was just the thing the younger man needed to get back on his feet. Besides, he'd seen himself how Meg's disappearance and absence had affected Harm. He was sure that had Meg not left, a lot of stuff over the last few years would've happened better and they wouldn't have traumatized him as much, because he would've had an already proven friend who truly understood and supported him no matter what by his side. The two had a special bond, something that defied explanation, and the old man was sure that Meg would've been able to help Harm through his traumas much better than Mac had done. Because she understood him, knew who he was, while Mac did not. It wasn't Mac's fault that she and Harm had never really connected and that she'd never understood him, they were just too different.
On the other hand Harm and Meg had connected instantly and when Chegwidden had taken over he could've sworn that the two were reading each other's minds. They were very in synch, knew what the other was thinking and always did things in harmony without having to discuss anything, as if they'd made a plan and allotted tasks beforehand; but he knew they hadn't.
It should've alerted him to there being something more, something deeper, between the two partners, but he had been selectively blind to it. Not even the case with Hemlock, when Harm went almost berserk because Meg had been shot in their office and he neither rested nor ate until he'd found and killed the assassin; had managed to get through to Chegwidden on how deep the emotions between the two young people were.
Harm had been behaving like a widower, like a man who's soulmate had been killed and was thirsty for blood and revenge. The fact that he was behaving like someone had killed his wife said everything about his feelings for the beautiful young Lieutenant, especially since she hadn't actually died. Neither were they married. Chegwidden was sure that, had Harm had the chance to get close enough to Hemlock, he would've rather killed the man with his bare hands than used a weapon. It also said everything their connection that Meg had woken the second Harm had stepped on to her floor in the hospital.
That was also the time when it had become clearly apparent that, if Meg ever died, it would destroy Harm. From what he'd heard from Krennick on Meg's behaviour during Harm's incarceration by the Chinese, it was obvious that the same would've happened to Meg. The young woman had been frantic and had barely held it together.
You can't find love like that everywhere. It comes only once in a lifetime and even that to couples who are EXTREMELY lucky.
Either way, Chegwidden had studiously ignored every warning with what he admitted to himself was a perfectly selfish reason.
It was obvious that they were either in denial about their feelings for each other or weren't aware of them and if he were to call them on it they'd become aware of their feelings and would want to do something about them.
Which meant that he would've lost the best team he'd ever see, or would even hear about. Because he didn't want to kill his gold-laying-goose he never did or said anything, rather keeping his team together and leaving the two partners incomplete than to lose the team even though that way the two would've found their soulmates in each other.
These last few years Harm had been as if a part of him, a large part of him, was missing and now AJ knew who that was. It wasn't just Harm that had been affected by Meg's leaving. The office too had suffered a backlash from it. The bright, friendly young woman, who had brightened up the place so much, was missing and the office had sunken into it's previous boring, depressing self.
Looking into Harm's face and remembering how devastated and desolate Harm had been when Meg had left, how he'd lost his center never to regain it until now, he knew that there was only one decision he could make.
x
"Okay, LT, when you get to DC report to your supervisor, he will have your new orders. We are short handed and need all the help we can get. Besides, I need someone to look after the CDR here and you are best at the job." he commanded and was gratified to see the young woman beam so brightly he thought Harm's knees would give out. That's when he knew he'd made the right decision.
"Yes, sir!"
He nodded and turned away, already pulling out his cell phone to have Meg's orders cut, accidentally noticing Mac's furious expression. He winced, there would be a fallout from this and he was sure Harm would be the one feeling it, but as long as Meg was by his side he knew the younger man could handle everything.
Harm in the mean time drew Bud a little ways from the group and talked to him intently, while Brumby tried to take advantage of Meg being by herself and tried to make moves on her. Meg shot him down immediately and turned away in digust. Bud quickly agreed to something and then they both went back to Meg and started going down the memory lane.
Chegwidden closed his phone satisfied just when the last call for boarding of their plane was heard and as one they turned and hurried to the check-in.
There they said farewells to LCDR Brumby (but no-one except Mac was sad about it, well, truthfully, even shewasn't showing a particular heartbreak, even though he was her fiancee and she'd had sex with him just hours prior) and Mac initiated another show trying to make Harm jealous. To her frustration he was talking to Meg and when he looked towards Mac he didn't react in the slightest, nor looked affected, and went back to talking to the blonde LT.
Walking after the two tallest members of his staff Chegwidden received another confirming info about their relationship and where it would soon be heading with the way they were walking in each other's personal space, Harm's hand on the small of her back, and so tightly behind her (or she so tightly in front of him) that Chegwidden was sure Harm's chest was touching Meg's back. After they showed the aboard the plane the flight attendant their tickets it was revealed just what Harm and Bud had been talking about. Obviously Bud had agreed to switch places with Meg so she could sit with Harm and they would have the chance to talk and catch up on the last few years.
Before they were seated Chegwidden leaned towards the other two officers and whispered. "When the LT reports for duty to me, make sure you're there too, CDR. We'll have to make sure that your relationship is above board and no-one will be able to cause you trouble."
They looked stunned at him, but when they turned their gazes on each other there was only excitement, hope, happiness, contentment, satisfaction, peace and, hidden beneath it all, was love, waiting to be uncovered by the two in the coming months to, together with their friendship and their unexplainable spiritual bond, lay the foundation of their future marriage.
They settled into their seats, conversing a mile a minute, while Chegwidden sat down with a stony-faced-fiery-eyed Mac two seats behind them. It occured to the Admiral then that had Harm not seen Meg they never would've known she was on the same plane and they never would've reconnected with her, gaining another member of the staff and Harm never would've found happiness again, because her seat was in another section of the plane. They wouldn't have been able to see each other from their places and Meg's section would've had to wait until their section was off the plane for them to get off too. Amazing how differently things would've gone had Harm looked back. The aging Admiral was sure that the alternative path would've been bad, very bad and much harder on the young Commander, who had had too much pain in his life already. Had he not found Meg and reunited with her, Chegwidden was sure Harm would've experienced a LOT more pain by Mac's hands.
When he noticed the older female glaring at the backs of their colleagues he turned towards her. Chegwidden saw jealousy, anger, hate and thirst for revenge twisting Mac's otherwise beautiful features into an ugly mask. If he knew something about Mac it was that she was impulsive and even vengeful at times, which is why he'd seen through her tonsil hockey session with Bugme and especially why he had advised Harm not to look back. He didn't know what had happened between the two partners, but it had obviously resulted in straining their relationship even further and with Mac jumping into Brumby's bed. For the kiss she'd shared with the Aussie was the kiss of lovers, of two people who'd had sex just hours ago. And considering the fact that they were late to the airport and Mac's rumpled state they must've been late because they were having sex again. From what he could gather, Mac's distasteful attempt at making Harm jealous and making him believe that her going to Brumby was his own fault was the result of the younger man somehow rejecting Mac's come-on. If Harm truly had, then AJ knew why.
The younger man was nowhere near ready to transform a tumultous and volatile friendship with his former best friend and partner into a relationship because he was still trying to become one of the team again and he was still emotionally and mentally trying to deal with his failed relationship with LCDR Parker and being once again, this time for the sake of his career, forced to give up flying. Right now he needed a friend, something Chegwidden was sure Meg recognized and would be to him until he was ready for more, thus even further strenghtening the base for their relationship.
But given Mac's behaviour Harm hadn't lost a lot. Considering the fact that she so easily, within a couple of days, went from propositioning one man to sleeping with another, Harm didn't lose anything of worth. Hell, he was lucky he'd gotten away in time from a woman that had such low morals and would no doubt just end up hurting him. A woman that could so easily, without any kind of moral inhibitions go from propositioning one man to jumping into another's bed in a matter of days, is not worth much. She's also definitely not worthy of regrets over having rejected/lost her, no matter how unintentional the rejection/loss was.
Now such a woman was stinging and raging over having been rejected and had already tried to pay Harm back. What was worse, now there was another woman in the equation.
What did that English poet, William Congreve, say in "The mourning bride"? "Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, Nor hell a fury like a woman scorned."
It's unfortunately true, especially for one LtCol Sarah MacKenzie.
Thus Chegwidden knew he had a good reason to fear that Mac would do something to hurt Harm, or even Meg as well, in revenge for what she believed was a rejection and then another rejection, this time in favor of the other woman. He knew it was up to him to nip it in the bud.
"Don't do anything to screw this up for Rabb or Austin, LtCol." the Admiral warned in a quiet voice. "Or you'll find yourself demoted and transferred out of the HQ to cleaning common soldiers' toilets so fast your head will spin."
She turned to him and hesitated for a second before complying through clenched teeth. "Yes, sir."
Satisfied, he nodded and settled himself back into his seat. His gaze strayed towards his two other officers and during the flight home he noted that not one stewardess made a play for Harm, which was completely unlike all the times Harm had to take a civilian transport home. It seemed that the women had immediately noticed the huge neon sign above Harm's head saying that he was taken.
Chegwidden nodded to himself, watching Harm and Meg's interactions and the way they leaned into each other,... These two were quite obviously in love. They just needed time for Harm to be ready for more and time to figure it out for themselves and he would make sure they'd get all the time they needed, because this relationship would then turn into a beautiful and permanent love and marriage.
He was absolutely certain of it.
THE END