When Snow was younger she used to love balls like this one. The dances, the dresses, her mother's proud smile when she placed the tiara on Snow's head and her father lifting her onto his toes to waltz around the room.

Now, she is beginning to think she hates them.

It's being held in hers and Charming's honour, to celebrate them regaining their kingdom and of course their upcoming wedding and Snow knows she should be happy. She looks over at Charming, who only has eyes for her as he takes a drink from his cup (and Snow remembers the last time they shared such a gesture at their actual wedding in the forest with only Lancelot and his mother as witnesses) and quickly amends her thought because she most definitely is happy.

But she would be grateful if she could slip away from the party unnoticed by her guests. Her subjects, she supposes with an odd feeling in her stomach because a few days ago she was a bandit running for her life and now she is back to being the princess she was born to be and honestly she isn't so sure she knows how to be this person anymore.

She looks at Charming again, who is now politely talking to an overweight nobleman Snow can barely remember the name of. She wonders if he feels the same, her shepherd turned Prince. Does he feel the same weight on uneasiness on his shoulders as she does on hers? If he does, he doesn't show it and she falls a bit more in love with him for that.

Sometimes, in her chambers when she is meant to be sleeping she finds herself thinking about their future together and about how different it would be if she never suggested taking back their kingdoms in the first place. If she suggested giving up the fight and staying in the forest instead. They'd have been happy, of course. As long as they were together. Maybe they'd find a farm and she'd become the wife of her noble shepherd and their children would be happy and loved with blonde hair and her green eyes.

Snow thinks she might have preferred that life.

She also knows what Charming knew from the beginning. This was the only thing left of her father, the legacy of his kingdom which he entrusted to her. She can't let him down and therefore she can't run away into the forest to escape her responsible. Her father raised a Princess not a bandit.

Maybe it's the universe's way of telling her she can't be both.

She hasn't voiced these thoughts to Charming yet, mainly because they never managed to get a spare minute alone. They'd been in constant council meetings since they'd reclaimed their land and Red was annoyingly good and making sure Snow never got very far in her plans to sneak in a few moments with her secret husband. She'd caught them once, tucked away behind a pillar in the castle. Snow backed against it with Charming pressed up against her, lips swollen and hair mussed. Red had made sure Snow was caught up with wedding planning the whole next day as punishment and Charming had been volunteered by her best friend to go and take on the damages to some of the outlying villages with his knights.

Snow shouldn't be angry at Red, her friends was only looking out for her virtue and protecting them for propriety's sake and she could hardly tell Red it was a wasted effort considering her and Charming were already married so she kept quiet.

Red could do nothing to stop the lingering looks and passionate gazes between them though.

Charming brought her out of her thoughts by placing a small kiss to the side of her head and she leaned into his strong chest gratefully. Her feet ached and her corset was especially unforgiving considering how unused to them Snow had become.

"It's winding down now," Charming spoke softly, breath tickling her ear, "You need to sleep."

Snow nodded mutely, not having the strength to protest tonight, "Walk me?"

Charming gave her a dazzling smile, "Always."

He guided her out of the ballroom with a hand on her lower back and nodded his head at Red as they left. The brunette narrowed her eyes slightly but made no move to stop them as he guided her away from the noise and into the corridor leading to her room.

"Are you going to tell me what's bothering you?" Charming asked, his hand gripping hers now they were alone. Snow sighed and laced their fingers together as they walked.

"I thought about this, being home again every night I spent in the forest. I just didn't expect to feel so… trapped." She confessed, whispering the last word.

Charming squeezed her hand gently, "Snow…"

"I don't mean you, you're the one thing keeping me anchored right now. I just mean, sometimes I think I feel more at home in the forest than I do in this castle. I was a bandit for so long it seems strange to me to have to be a Princess again."

They reached her door and Charming turned to face her, blue eyes soft as his lips met hers, "I completely understand that." He replied when they parted, "But I promise you we will find a way to do this together. We can make this place home for us, for our children."

Snow leant her head against his shoulder, her next words coming out muffled, "Sure you don't want to just run away into the forest and be normal working people?"

Charming chuckled, "I want you to be happy. If being married to a shepherd would make you happy then we can run away right now."

"I'm already married to a shepherd." Snow reminded him, her fingers reaching up to grasp at his collar and pull his head closer to hers, "And that makes me very happy. You make me happy, Charming. I can do just about anything with you by my side."

And with that declaration Snow pulled him that little bit further, their lips meeting as Charming's hands grip at her waist and one of Snow's gently traced over the stubble on his cheek. Snow sucked on his lower lip causing him to groan.

God, she had missed this. Him. Her husband. They should stop, the scandal this would cause if anyone saw them making out in the corridor but Snow couldn't find it in her to care. She had slept alone every night since she had been back in this castle and really only one night with her husband was definitely not going to be enough to temper her want and desire for him.

Or, apparently his for her.

Charming had her up against the door of her room and his lips had moved to trail along her neck, sucking lightly at her pulse point. Snow bit her lip to keep from making a sound as her hand fisted into his short hair.

Screw it.

She reached behind her to find the door handle and pushed it open, her and Charming stumbling into the room. He caught her before she fell as she knew he would and their eyes met.

"If Red catches me in here…"

Snow's eyes gleamed, "It will be worth it to spend a few moments with your wife?"

Charming smirked and brought her back into his arms, "You are going to be the death of me, my beautiful Bandit."

Snow could have jumped him for the use of the nickname alone.

Unfortunately a yawn dashed those plans and seemed to allow Charming to regain his senses.

"You need to rest, my love."

"I need my husband."

Charming kissed her forehead, "You have him."

Snow smiled and looked over at her bed, a bed she knows as soon as she gets in it will be too big and cold for her and won't help her sleep no matter how comfy it looks.

"Stay?" The words are out of her mouth before she realises and she isn't going to take them back. He is her husband and she knows he wants to stay as much as she wants him too.

"I want to… so much, Snow. I hate being parted from you." Charming sighed, "My only thought at night is of holding you."

She wants to say something, or maybe kiss him into submission but a rather loud cough in her doorway snaps her out of those thoughts and both of them look to see Red standing in the doorway, her arms crossed and a scowl on her face.

"I leave you alone for a few minutes." Red sighed, "Come on, your highness. Snow needs her sleep."

Charming looks over at her and she knows if she asks him to ask he will fight Red to make it happen. She smiled and separates herself from her true love with a smile.

"It's okay, Charming. I'll see you in the morning."

He nods once before turned to Red, "You might want to look away for a moment."

Red frowns, "Why is that?"

"I'm about to kiss my fiancé in a way you probably won't deem appropriate."

Snow has no time to see if Red complies with Charming's request before she is back in his arms, his mouth warm and hard on hers. She shouldn't express her happiness when she feels his tongue nor her disappointment when he finally releases her, dropping another kiss on her forehead.

"I love you."

She smiles, "I love you too."

Red ushers him out the rom soon after and Snow thinks she can hear her friend berating her husband as they walk down the hall but she can't find herself to care as a smile curves her lips and the feeling of Charming's lips still linger on her own.

Snow tried to sleep, really she did but just like every other night she has spent in the castle she finds herself unable to sleep for more than a few hours. It wasn't nightmares that kept her up though, it was a sense of dread in the pit of her stomach. Like she'd lost herself when her and Charming had regained their kingdom.

She kicked the covers back after what seemed like hours of tossing and turned and hastily got dressed into a pair of breeches and a shirt rather than her dress. She wouldn't be able to sleep tonight, not here in this room where it felt like the walls were closing in around her. She wanted to go to Charming but she knew she wouldn't even make it two feet in the direction of his room before someone caught sight of her and told Red.

Instead as soon as her feet were in her boots she headed in the opposite direction, towards the palace gardens that her mother once tended so carefully. As soon as Snow step out into the cold night air she felt better and if this was as close as she could get to the forest without causing panic by leaving the castle then she would have to make the most of it.

The stars were out and Snow felt better at being able to see them. Many nights she would fall asleep looking at the sky but one was more memorable that the rest. Hers and Charming's impromptu wedding night – where they'd made love on his cloak under the stars and she fell asleep wrapped up in him as he whispered his love for her in her ear.

Maybe that's another reason the forest felt so much more homely to her now. It's where she met Charming, fell in love with him, married him and spent her first night as his wife. The forest would always be the start of their love story.

It was that thought and replaying their story in her mind that allowed that dread in her stomach to vanish as she curled up on one of the benches in the garden.

Sleep found her just as she reached the part of their story where Charming awoke her from her curse and asked her to marry him.

The next morning she woke up in her room again and frowned in confusion before seeing the note next to her bed in Charming's handwriting:

Red was worried so she woke me. At least you were easier to find this time, I didn't want to wake you because you looked far too beautiful so I carried you back to your room. I wanted to stay but Red kept a watchful eye to make sure I went back to my own chambers. I hope you manage to get some more sleep, my love and I've left you with something that I hope will help you sleep tonight as well. Seeing you sleeping under the stars definitely brought back some rather fond memories.

I'll see you at breakfast.

Love Always,

Charming.

It was only when Snow looked back over to where the letter was that she saw what Charming meant.

It was one of his shirts. Neatly folded along with the letter and Snow smiled as she grabbed it, bringing it to her nose.

It smelt like him. Pine needles and forest and Charming.

God, she loved him.

His shirt did provide her with some comfort, his scent enveloping her as she tugged it over her head and slipped into her bed that evening. It wasn't his arms but it was the next best thing. Snow was surprised to find she did actually manage to drift off for once but the moment was fleeting and she found herself awake again after only a few hours rest.

She can't remember the last time she slept properly. Maybe it was her wedding night?

All she knew was her body aching with exhaustion and her mind didn't seem to want to shut down.

Her thoughts drifted to Regina and to King George and Snow knew it was irrational considering they had both been defeated and when into hiding. She was safe. Charming was safe. That should be enough.

But it wasn't.

Because they could still come back and hurt her family. If Snow knew anything about her stepmother, it was that she didn't give up. She pursued her through the forest for months, why would this be any different. Surely it would be easier considering she wouldn't have to track Snow down first.

All thoughts of sleep had been abandoned.

Snow laid in her bed until the sun started to peek through the window and it was deemed an appropriate hour to be awake before starting her day, knowing more meetings awaited her and Charming as soon as breakfast was finished.

It was three days later when the extent of her exhaustion caught up with her. Snow had been unable to sleep solidly and as a result had taken to forgoing sleep until her body demanded it from her. Even then, when exhaustion took hold it was only for a few hours at a time.

Everyone seemed to notice her sluggishness in council meetings and she could always feel Charming's worried gaze on her from his seat at her side. She brushed him off before, never having the time or words to explain.

She knew her husband though and more importantly he knew her.

So she really shouldn't be surprised when he cornered her after dinner that night, when she had barely eaten a thing and opted for pushing the food around her plate instead, and his worried gaze and gently hands told her they wouldn't be ignoring this problem anymore.

"Talk to me." He urged, "Please?"

Snow sighed and the look in his eyes had her nodding, "I'm just tired, Charming. I can't seem to sleep."

"And you didn't think to tell me? Just wait until you drop down in the middle of a meeting?"

She could see the fear in his eyes at the thought and Snow instantly knew keeping it from him was a bad idea.

"I'm sorry, I didn't know how too… I can't explain it. I'm not sure if it's the castle or Regina or just me. I just…" She trailed off, "I'm so tired."

Charming brought her into his chest, holding her to him as her head found the crook of his shoulder, "You started to scare me." He admitted, voice muffled by her hair, "I need you to tell me things, even the little ones. You're not on your own, Snow."

"Lately, I just feel lost. It's this thing in the pit of my stomach and I can't shake it. At first I thought it was because I didn't know how to be a Princess anymore but I don't know how to fix that. I was a bandit, Charming, I can't change that and maybe I'll never be comfortable here like I used to be. Maybe this isn't home anymore."

"Hey, you are a Princess. But you're also a Bandit. You are both, Snow and I love you for it. You don't need to fix anything and if this doesn't feel like home then we'll leave. I'd travel to any land you wanted to find a home with you." Charming replied, kissing her head softly.

Snow rose from his shoulder to look at her husband, the man who would follow her anywhere, "I'm sorry."

"Don't be. But you do need to rest, you're exhausted and this isn't good for you."

"I can't. I've tried but my mind doesn't seem to be able to shut off. I just keep thinking about Regina and King George and how they almost took everything away. They also took you away." Snow closes her eyes at the thought.

Charming looked at her so desperately in that moment she felt like he was trying to hold her together with his gaze alone.

"Wait here."

"Charming…"

He gripped her hand, "Please? I'll be right back."

Snow nodded and he slipped his hand from hers. Charming disappeared back into the hall where dinner was served and was back less than five minutes lately with an easy smile.

He wrapped an arm around her waist as he began to guide her down the corridor, "Let's get you to bed."

Snow didn't realise where he was taking her until he pushed open the door to his chambers and led her inside. The door shut firmly behind them.

"Charming? What about Red?"

He smirked a little at the question, "I told her there had been sightings of Regina's knights in the outer villages and asked her to take the dwarves and check it out tonight."

"You lied?"

"For the benefit of my wife."

Snow smiled, "Thank you."

Charming led her over to the bed and gently began removing the pins from her hair, freeing her curls from her scalp. Snow hummed as she shook them out and smiled as her hands reached for his leather doublet, drawing the strings open.

"Snow, tonight is about you."

Of course it was, her charming husband.

She didn't respond as she pushed the doublet to the floor with a smile. His shirt soon joined it. Snow wanted to take her time here, her hands trailing over Charming's chest because really this was only the second time she had seen him like this and that in her opinion was a crime.

She brought her lips to meet his eager ones and made her intentions very clear in that kiss. Charming seemed to have no problems with this direction by the way he quickly got her out of her dress and undergarments so she was naked before him.

He lifted her off her feet then, placing her down on the bed with such care Snow had to kiss him for it. Charming crawled over her then, his lips paying attention to her breasts as his hands traced patterns on her stomach. Snow's breath caught in her throat.

His lips trailed lower and lower and snow peered down at him curiously, "What are you doing?"

Blue eyes met green as Charming placed a kiss to her inner thigh, "Distracting you so your mind lets you get some sleep tonight."

Well, this certainly was one way to do it.

That's the last coherent though she has before Charming's mouth is in between her legs and one of her hands fly to the headboard to grab hold of something at the pleasure.

He is good at this. Knowing how to distract her and even though they are still getting used to each other and this new aspect of their love Snow finds Charming to be a very quick learner.

She is crying out and before long she can barely remember her own name. Only his. Her name for him. Charming.

But it isn't enough because as pleasurable as this is she still needs him inside of her and she doesn't think she can wait any longer.

Snow tucked him to her eager and Charming goes, heeding to her every need.

Their mouths meet again in a passionate kiss and Snow hooks her legs around his waist before realising he still has his breeches on.

She all but growls into his kiss, her hands moving to the ties and tugging furiously at the bindings.

Charming chuckled but helped her free him of his breeches and underwear so he was naked before Snow drew him back into her.

Their foreheads meet as Charming finally pushes inside her, going slowly to allow her to adjust. Snow is having none of it though and starts to grind against him in an attempt to get him moving. Charming teasingly bites at her shoulder as he thrust into her.

And this is how it should be.

Snow and Charming ready to take on the world together.

They lose themselves in each other and for the first time since entering the castle she forgets her fears and anxieties about the future because she has Charming over her and his love around her and honestly she doesn't think she wants anything more in the world than his man and a family with him one day.

Snow is spent by the time she comes apart in Charming's arms with him not far behind her and Charming places a kiss to her sweaty forehead as he pulls out. Snow hums in contentment as she eyes close and she hears Charming chuckle softly. He tucks her into his bed (which will soon officially be theirs) and climbs in bedside her. Snow finds enough strength from her exhausted muscles to wrap herself around him. Head on his chest, arm over his waist and their legs tangled together and she lets out a deep breath.

"I know what I was missing now." She mumbled into his skin and she is pretty sure Charming is just indulging her sleep deprived state rather than actually taking anything she said to heart, "It's you. This castle isn't home because you are. Wherever you are, Charming. That's my home."

She can feel his smile as he buried his nose into her hair.

"Sleep, love. You'll still be home when you wake."

And with that Snow snuggled further into his embrace and for the first night since reclaiming the castle she slept right through.

And then some considering Charming cancelled all their meetings so she could catch up on sleep.

It must be midday when he wakes her up to breakfast in bed and makes sure she eats every last bite in front of her.

She loves him for it.

She loves him even more when he places the tray on the floor and climbs back into bed beside her with needy kisses and soft touches.