The major loved food. He loved anything to do with food. He absolutely adored the sight of food. Infact he loved food more than war!
One day, he decided to let all know about his love for everything edible.
"gentleman, I like food…no I love food. I love ze sight of it, ze smell of it, and ze taste of it! I love chewing anything to pieces, as if I'm destroying a whole city! I love the taste like I enjoy the taste of victory! As a matter of fact, I love food so much, zat I have written a poem for you all.
"Chocolate, muffins, lots of cake
I think of food, from ze moment I wake
Pudding, ice cream I'll some of zat
Who ze hell cares about being fat
Dunking biscuits in my cup of tea
No one loves food as much as me
Sausage, bacon and lots of toast
And maybe perhaps a Sunday roast
Chinese, curry, mcdonalds fries
Chicken, éclairs and apple pie
A huge fruit salad to start ze day
Vell, at least I'm getting my five a day
Food is like war, you destroy it like lives
Cutting them, with sharp knives…."
"don't you think ze major is taking this a bit far" whispered schrodinger to dok
"indeed" maybe we should stop him?
"ah leave him" grinned zorin, I'm rather enjoying this don't you agree captain?
"…"
"jelly, yougat, cookie crumbs
Its no wonder I have such a big bum
Fish n chips with mushy peas
Mmm makes me weak in my knees
Chilli, potatos and of course spagbol
And lots and lots of alcohol…"
4 hours later…..
"so you see gentleman, zat is vhy I love food. Dok get ze manuals and some bacon, I'm in ze mood for some swine…dok…dok?"
Everyone had fallen asleep; schro was curled up in a semi ball next to the captain, who was scarcthing with his leg in his sleep. Dok, was snoring to, and so were zorin and rip.
"God dammit!"
…
Well I hope ya all enjoyed XD