The early morning sun hurt Steven's eyes as he sat on his bed. He made a quick motion with his hand and closed the blinds. His room was now dim, the only light coming from the screen door. He sighed, as he reached over to his nightstand. He opened the drawer and pulled out a single razor.

The events played through his head over and over again, like a broken record. No matter what he did it wouldn't stop. Her screams, the blood, h-her leg. The image plastered in his mind. It terrified him. He hoped Connie was okay, he was so sorry he doubted his mother made these mistakes. And if she did, she didn't make as many as he did.

He slightly whimpered as he made his first cut on his leg. The pain brought his mind away from his thoughts. Although for a short period. It was all his fault. He made the second cut on his leg, it wasn't deep at all, they never were. They were the equivalent of a major paper cut.

Though it was nothing compared to what she went through, he couldn't even imagine what she went through. Images of flashed through his mind once again, leading him to cut again. The feeling of the blade breaking through his skin, the pain was the only way he could stop think about everything.

Steven looked over to Connie, the sun's glow made her look very peaceful. She was in a coma; she was lying on the couch below. 'She looks like she's sleeping... but she not, Connie's in a coma, and you put her there.' He thought. As he took the blade and made one last cut. He liked the pain. Steven deserved it, at least in his mind.

'I KNOW,' He yelled at his own mind, then he heard the door slowly open. He looked over and saw Pearl. She had a worried look on her face, instinctively he pulled his blanket over his legs. The last thing he wanted was for them to see what he was doing. Pearl tried to smile, but Steven knew it was fake. She tried so hard to cheer him up.

Too bad she wasted her time and breath on him; that made him feel even worse. Steven thought he was being selfish.

"Steven we're worried about you," Pearl said as she walked up the stairs and sat next to him on the bed. She sighed before continuing, "You're not holding up to good are you?"

He didn't reply, she already knew the answer. So Steven felt no need to answer. They didn't want Steven to go through this alone. Their effort was being wasted in his mind. Why wouldn't they let him deal with this his own way? It was working, wasn't it? His method was just fine.

"She wouldn't even BE here if it wasn't for me," she angrily said as he slipped the razor into his front pocket. Pearl looked at him with her concerned face, making him feel guilty. If he could feel more guilty that he already did.

"Beating yourself up hurts all of us Steven, we hate seeing you so upset," Pearl replied as she glanced at Connie. She then looked back to him trying to find words. The uncomfortable silence lasted a few seconds, before she started again, "This isn't going to end happily for anyone if you keep at this. Steven, it wasn't your fault."

"Yes, it was!" Steven yelled at Pearl, making her sigh in defeat. She got and walked down to the kitchen. She opened the fridge pulling out various ingredients. She then pulled out some pans.

"I'm going to make some food; you're going to eat some whether you like it or not."

Steven pulled his pant legs down, then got out of his bed sluggishly. He slowly walked down the stairs and was halfway to the counter, when his razor fell out of his pocket. The quiet clink as it hit the floor might have been the equivalent of a nuke going off. His heart rate skyrocket when Pearl realised what fell.

When Pearl looked down to see what fell, she saw a razor with blood still on the sharp end. She froze like a deer in headlights. She slowly looked up to Steven, to

see the panic in his eyes. Her heart felt like it was ripped apart, "Don't tell me you..."

Steven's mind was racing he needed to get out of there as fast as possible. He just needs them to stop worrying about him. Steven can handle Steven. He looked over to the warp pad before Pearl could realise what he was doing he grabbed the razor and sprinted to the warp pad. Steven warped only God knows where.

Pearl was so shocked that when Garnet and Amethyst walked in she couldn't even speak. She was even shaking a little. Though were dashing in and out of her mind. She couldn't keep track of them all.

"Pearl?" Garnet said looking and the look on her face, it was a mixture of shock, horror, and concern. This made Garnet's worry increase, she hated being left in the dark, "What happened?"

As Pearl tried to formulate word as she pointed at the warp pad. Garnet and Amethyst looked at each other, confused and worried looks on their faces. Once she got a hold of herself Pearl started to cry out, " Why did he have to, to, to, He, he's... Garnet, he's cutting himself..."

"Please tell me he didn't, " Garnet sighed as looked at pearl practically pleading for, her to say no. She saw this in the future but doubted this was the path they would take.

She hoped that this was all some sick joke, but she knew the truth. Garnet knew what had happened. Internally Ruby and Sapphire were, struggling to stay together as Garnet, the panic event as she put her arm around herself just to keep them from separating.

"I can't believe he did that," Pearl said as she collapsed on the floor, she was have something akin to a panic attack. Garnet closed her eyes and attempted to use her future vision. Sadly she was just too panicked to get any results.

"Steman..." Was all Amethyst could say, she knew he was upset but this? She never thought he would do this. She was the most shocked out of all of them, she remembered when Pearl, did the same thing. She needed to find him now. "I'm gonna go look for him. Any ideas Garnet?"

"I can't concentrate, we'll have to go without future vision," Garnet looked at the gems then the warp pad. She took a deep breath they needed a plan, "Amethyst and me will go look for Steven. Pearl you will stay here, in case Steven comes back. If anyone finds Steven they will come back here, and wait for the other."

"Sounds good," Amethyst said as she looked at the panicked Pearl, she was silently