Catastrophe, a X-Men: Evolution + Warriors Crossover fanfic

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Cat-astrophe

000

It was a beautiful spring day as the sun shone down on an idyllic clearing on an island in the middle of a lake. Birds chirped in their trees as squirrels chattered in the trees and a rabbit poked his head out of a burrow. It seemed like a wonderful day in nature.

Then an SR-71 Blackbird landed in the clearing. The hatch opened up and a ramp descended, out of it strode the X-Men. Scott looked around as the rest of the X-Men (and New Mutants) on this mission disembarked: Jean, Kitty, Kurt, Rogue, Remy, Bobby, Rahne, and Sam.

"Alright everyone, the Professor said that Cerebro detected several mutant signatures somewhere in this vicinity. A precog of some sort; as well as some sort of telepath, another mutant with advanced hearing and another with super strength. Now the readings were a little erratic so keep your eye out for anything strange or out of the ordinary."

"Too late!" Kitty groaned as the Misfits (specifically Althea, Todd, Pietro, Fred, Lance, Wanda, and Lina) appeared in front of the X-Men, courtesy of the Mass Device. "Have you guys been spying on us again?"

Pietro looked offended. "Who us? Spy on you? Well I never! Oh, by the way Kitty you really shouldn't have tried substituting molasses for chocolate icing on those cupcakes you gave Logan. Healing factor or no, that's gonna hurt."

Kitty fumed. "Why you-!"

"Cool it everyone." Althea held her hands up. "Look, regardless of how we got the information we're both here for the same reason."

"We are?" Jean asked. "You mean if you find these mutants you'll bring them back to the Institute?"

"…Okay, we're largely here for the same reason." Althea corrected. "If there's a precog or even two, General Hawk thinks it's vital that we keep them out of the hands of Magneto or the Hellfire Club or Cobra or…well, you get the idea."

Scott glared through his visor. "If we find these mutants first we'll offer them the chance to develop their powers safely without pressing them into military service."

"No, you'll just make them wear a uniform and put them through advanced deadly training in your unofficial army." Fred rolled his eyes.

Lance snorted. "Please, you couldn't find a clue if you fell over one, Summers."

"You're one to talk! You couldn't find a shred of human decency in years!" Kitty shot back.

"This from the girl who stringed two boys along at once!" Retorted Fred.

Althea held up her hands. "Alright, look we can either do this the easy way and offer these kids a choice, which we can do better if we cooperate or…" She looked up. "We can beat the snot out of whoever's coming our way."

Scott followed her gaze. "Swell. Hellions!" Monet and Jetstream flew into sight followed quickly by the rest of their team: Beef, Bevatron, Tarot, Roulette, Catseye, Celandine, and Spyke.

"Back off, the new mutants are coming with us!" Spyke warned, a bone-spike in his hand.

"Fat chance traitor!" Scott snapped, blasting Spyke with an optic blast. Spyke withstood it thanks to his bone-spike armor shell.

The clearing soon degenerated into a free for all as Hellion battled X-Man and Misfit. Monet was slugged and sent careening through the treetops by Rogue while Jetstream and Sam wrestled in mid-flight, zooming out of control through their battling compatriots. Bevatron shocked Bobby as Fred nearly took Beef's head off with an uppercut. The large Hellion went flying, leaving a furrow in the ground.

Jean and Celandine were keeping each other at bay with their telepathic abilities while Tarot whipped out one of her cards. "Lightning Card!" A bolt of lightning struck the clearing, nearly incinerating Lance.

"That the best you got? Let's rock!" Lance shouted as he unleashed a tremor that knocked Tarot over, as well as half the battlers, shook the squirrels and birds from the trees and demolished a rabbit warren.

"Good thing we didn't bring Penny." Scott muttered as a panicked squirrel scrambled between his legs and fled for the safety of the woods. "Otherwise this'd be a massacre!"

"Ack! Get out of my hair!" Monet shrieked as she dislodged a frightened sparrow.

"Way to go Lance!" Todd shouted as he had to hop out of the way of the terrified wildlife.

Lance also had to step aside. "You can't blame me for this!" Then an acorn whirled down and bonked him in the head. "Ow!" He looked up to see an angry squirrel chittering at him. Lance felt a flash of recognition. "Oh no, not you again!"

Rahne was about to transform into her wolf form and bite Tarot when she saw Catseye standing off to the side not far from her. Rahne cautiously made her way over, ducking as Roulette and Wanda dueled one another.

"We have to fight?" Catseye asked as Rahne approached. Rahne winced.

"I dinnae." She shrugged. "'Supose we'd have to." She said, sounding very flat and unconvinced.

Catseye's tail twitched unhappily. "Catseye no want to fight furfriend." She said mournfully. "Besides, how we find mutants if we all fighting?"

"That's…a good question." Rahne allowed. "Look how about this. I won't attack your teammates, you don't attack my teammates—or the Mifits either—and the two of us split up to find the mutants. When you find them give me a call. I'll do the same. Then we'll meet these mutants, give them a choice and let them decide what to do and where to go. Deal?"

Catseye nodded. "Is deal!" Catseye shifted into a small purple housecat (while she was capable of being a lion, she thought a regular cat would be less threatening to the new mutant) while Rahne turned into her normal wolf form. The two split up and began sniffing through the woods for any trace or scent of the mutants in question.

Rahne sniffed. She smelled rabbits, squirrels, trees…normal woods stuff. Nothing out of the ordinary.

Catseye meanwhile crept along the forest floor, her eyes and ears peeled. Soon she smelled a scent—cat scent! A trio of cats leapt out from behind a bush and glared at Catseye; they're backs were arced and their fur standing up to make them look bigger as they bared their teeth. Catseye hissed the fur on her shoulder's standing up as well.

"Kittypet!" a dark brown tabby tom with amber eyes hissed at her as he unsheathed his claws. "Get out of our territory!"

"Catseye not a domestic!" She hissed back, spitting furiously.

A ginger colored tom laid his tail on other tom's back. "Hold on Dustpelt." He took a step towards Catseye, flattening his fur. "My name is Firestar, leader of ThunderClan and you are on our territory. Who are you?"

"I'm Catseye." Catseye said. "I'm, er, new around here."

"Firestar, we have bigger things to deal with than some loner." A sand-colored she-cat mewed. "There's all that noise coming from those Twolegs at the island and we have to find out what it is before the Gathering tonight!"

"I know Sandstorm." Firestar meowed back.

"Gathering?" Catseye mewed questioningly.

"The island in the lake." Firestar explained. "It is there that once a month, on the night of the full moon, the four Clans meet."

Catseye blinked, flicking her tail curiously. "Clans? Other cats live here too?"

Sandstorm and Firestar exchanged a quick glance, then Firestar elected to explain. "There are four Clans in the forest: ThunderClan, ShadowClan, WindClan, and RiverClan. We each live in the territory best suited to our hunting style. ThunderClan lives in the forest with the most undergrowth and trees, where we stalk squirrels and mice. WindClan live on the open windy moor where they hunt and chase rabbits. RiverClan lives near the river and catch fish. ShadowClan lives among the pine trees and marshes, where they stalk prey in the night.

"We live by the warrior code set down by our warrior ancestors in StarClan; that our warriors are trained to defend our territory and hunt to feed the whole Clan, from the youngest kit to the oldest elder. When we die we join the ranks of StarClan, and StarClan sends messages and omens to guide us, and grant Clan leaders like myself nine lives to live in order to serve our Clan."

Sharon was impressed. "Sound better than what Catseye used to do. Catseye used to live on the street and eat garbage!"

Sandstorm made a face. "Twoleg rubbish? Bleech! I couldn't eat that stuff to save my life."

"I used to by a kittypet, owned by Twolegs and eat bland foot that looked like rabbit droppings." Firestar admitted. "But I left that to live free and wild in the forest. Perhaps you'd be happier here too."

Catseye was saved from answering when Dustpelt butted in. "Firestar, we have more important things to do than play host to some loner. Let's just chase her off and deal with whatever's going on at the island."

Sandstorm rolled her eyes. "Dustpelt are you completely mousebrained? Her scent practically reeks of Twolegs. Maybe she'd be able to help deal with the Twolegs making all that racket at Fourtrees!"

It didn't take long for Catseye to figure out what they were talking about. "Catseye help! I know how to get rid of nasty, smelly people!"

"What's with the way you speak? Do you have an accent or something?" Dustpelt asked.

"Yes…or something." Catseye murmured. Firestar interrupted.

"Catseye, would you come back to my Clan's camp with us? Help us get rid of the Twolegs?" She nodded. After all, she felt she was as much a cat as she was anything else. Why shouldn't she help her fellow felines out? "Good Firestar mewed. "Follow us."

Catseye followed the ThunderClan patrol back to their camp, a rocky hollow that looked like an abandon quarry. She was overwhelmed by the scent of all the cats that lived there! Cats sharing prey in the middle of the camp while nursing queens tended to their kits. One cat, their medicine cat Firestar explained, tended to the injury one of their elders had sustained with herbs. There was a remarkable degree of coordination and cooperation.

"Hey Firestar!" Mewed a broad-shouldered, muscular dark brown tabby tom. "Whose this?"

"Brambleclaw, this is Catseye. Catseye," Firefang nodded. "This is Brambleclaw, deputy of the Clan." Brambleclaw nodded his head respectfully. "Brambleclaw, Catseye thinks she can help rid us of the Twolegs at the island before the Gathering tonight."

"I hope so!" Yowled Mousefur, an elder she-cat. "StarClan will be angry if we don't meet!"

"How can some loner help?" Snorted Berrynose, a cream-colored tom missing most of his tail. "What's she gonna do, ask the Twolegs nicely to leave?"

The medicine cat Firestar pointed out earlier sighed, "Berrynose can you at least TRY not to be more of a mousebrain than you absolutely have to?" The gray tabby tom groaned, his sightless bright blue eyes reflecting annoyance. "We won't know unless you let her actually speak!"

"Well, excuse me for having an opinion Jayfeather!" Berrynose snapped back.

"You always have an opinion." Lionblaze, a golden brown tabby and Jayfeather's brother gave Berrynose a look. "And in case you've haven't kept track, you're always wrong!"

Dovepaw, a pale gray she-cat warrior apprentice, nudged Lionblaze with her head. "C'mon, pipe down, I want to hear!"

"Let's all stop and listen." Agreed Brightheart, a white she-cat with ginger patches who had only one eye; the entire right side of her face was torn and shredded, with giant claw marks given a cruel testament as to how she lost her other eye.

Firestar dipped his head in acknowledgement. "Catseye? You can speak from the high rock." Catseye nodded and leapt up and clawed her way up to the top of the rock where Firestar stood when he addressed the Clan.

Thinking quickly, she said the first thing that came to mind. "The Twolegs have sent us a message." She meowed. "That they can take whatever they want. That no one can stop them." She paused as she saw the look on the faces of the ThunderClan cats; they were remembering their old home, which they had to abandon in order to move into their new territories by the lake, as did the other Clans. They new the damage Twolegs could do, and how powerless they were then to stop then.

Catseye drew a breath and continued "Well, we will send them a message." The cats of ThunderClan looked up, a glimmer of hope in their eyes. "You run out as fast as your paws can carry you. You tell the other Clans to come." They started to yowl in fierce agreement. "Tell them Catseye calls to them! You run now, with me! My brothers! Sisters! And we will show the Twolegs-that they can not take whatever they want!" The yowling and calling increased as the cats unsheathed their claws and dug them into the earth, imagining it was their Twoleg foes. "And that this..." Catseye paused, "This is our land!"

ThunderClan went nuts. Firestar barked out orders to run and gather the warriors of the other Clans. Patrols where dispatched amidst much yowling and fierce anticipation of the battle to come.

Catseye grinned fiercely. This was going to be much fun!

00000

It wasn't long before Catseye and the warriors of ThunderClan ran down to the shore of the lake and followed its path around the perimeter until they came to a fallen tree that stretched from the shore to the island. It was how the warrior cats got to the island for their Gatherings. They were soon joined by warriors from ShadowClan, WindClan, and RiverClan.

"Blackstar. Onestar. Mistystar." Firestar mewed, introducing each of the respective Clan leaders in turn. "This is Catseye. She's a loner with knowledge of the Twolegs and how can rid ourselves of them." They all flinched at the sound of a loud explosion. "…Before they bring the whole forest down!"

Catseye nodded. "Twolegs are powerful, strong, but dumb." She mewed honestly. "All warriors, attack all Twolegs at once. They panic and run. Never come back."

"How can we trust you?" Blackstar, a bulky large white cat with black paws, sneered.

"Catseye know Twolegs well." There was another explosion. "…Too well."

"We have to try." Mistystar, a blue furred she-cat argued. "We already lost our homes once. We can't lose our homes here as well!"

"Then what are we waiting for?" Onestar growled. "WindClan is ready to attack!"

Catseye mewed excitedly. "We attack in waves, from all sides. Twolegs get confused and retreat. Catseye go first!"

"ThunderClan will accompany you." Firestar said. "Come." Catseye leapt onto the fall tree trunk and, carefully, started padding forward towards the island. Dovepaw and Firestar were right behind her. "Dovepaw, can you hear anything?" The gray she-cat listened carefully, her whiskers twitching.

"They're fighting and shouting at each other. I hear rumbling in the ground, waves crashing—heavily—against the ground, and…I don't even know what half these sounds are!"

"How Dovepaw hear sounds from so far away?" Catseye mewed in confusion. They were way too far away for her to hear all that.

Firestar lowered his voice. "Doverpaw can…hear things. From far away. Impossible distances." He looked at Catseye. "The other Clans don't know. Most of her Clan mates don't know either. We'd prefer to keep it that way." Catseye nodded.

"Catseye understand." With that, they made their way onto the island. Soon, the warriors of all four Clans surrounded the clearing where the X-Men, Misfits, and Hellions were fighting one another. Fortunately they had worn themselves down to a certain extent already. This should make things easier. "Go!"

"ThunderClan attack!" Firestar yowled as the other leaders urged their Clans into battle.

Meanwhile, Scott blasted at Beef with his optic blasts. "X-Men, push the Hellions back! Get ready in case they have any surprises planned!"

"Mrrreeeeeeeeeeooow!" Came the screeches and yowls of dozens of warrior cats as they swarmed into the clearing, biting, clawing, and scratching at anyone and everyone in their path.

"Ow!" Bobby shrieked as Tawnypelt sank his teeth into his ankle. "Getitoff! Getitoff!" He shook his foot frantically and flailed his arms.

Tigerheart and Cedarheart latched onto Beef's back and would not let go. "Ahh!" The large Hellion screamed as they sank his claws into his back. "I can't reach! Somebody pull 'em off me!"

"We're a little busy Beef!" Roulette snapped at Sedgewhisker clawed her calves. "Owch!"

"Ahhhhhh!" Pietro screamed shrilly as Brambleclaw sank his claws into Pietro's backside and clung to him even as Pietro ran around at super speed. Onestar, Ashfoot, and Crowfeather chased after him, WindClan being the fastest cats in the forest.

Wanda glared at a pair of ThunderClan warriors as they slowly stepped towards her, their backs arced. "Don't. Even. Think. About it." She warned dangerously, her hands glowing.

"Leave that Twoleg alone!" Catseye yowled. "Also one with skunk stripe in headfur! Everyone else is okay!"

Otterheart and Mistyfoot latched onto Althea's ankles, scratching and clawing. "Owowow!" The mermaid girl winced. Todd hopped up into a tree to avoid a clawing. "Pheew! That was close!" He wiped his brow as he sat crouched on a tree branch. Then he felt an angry voice hiss in his ear. He slowly turned and saw a ShadowClan warrior, Toadfoot, hissing at him. Todd gulped. "Oh right…cats can climb, can't they?"

No cats attacked Lance…mostly because there was a mad squirrel pummeling him with acorns.

Fred meanwhile was actually enjoying himself. His impervious skin meant that no amount of clawing or biting would do him any harm. He sat down on the ground and let the cats crawl over him. "This is fun!" He said his voice muffled as Reedwhisker clung to his face. "Reminds me of the good old times at my uncle's cat training service!" About a dozen other warriors kept up attacking the Blob, without making the slightest difference.

"Um, glad you're having fun Freddy." Lina gulped as cats started swarming around her. "I'd feel a lot better about this if I didn't see cats hunting insects!" She buzzed her wings and flew up in the air, where the cats couldn't reach. Jean and Sam joined her.

"Why didn't I think of this sooner?" Jean grumbled, her uniform covered in scratches and bleeding from several of them.

Sam winced too. "Tell me about it. I grew up and farm with a cats all around and they were never this fierce." He rubbed his arm. "Impervious or not, those claws hurt."

Monet also thought to take to the air but not before Spiderleg chomped down on her hair and hung tight, even as she started flying erratically.

"Somebody help Remy!" Gambit screamed as he was mauled. "Ow! Owch! ROGUE! Help Gambit!"

Rogue meanwhile had flown up above Remy's position and was examining the back of her glove for scratches. "Sorry Swamp Rat did you say something?" She smirked as Firestar sank his claws into Remy's arm.

"Not the tail! Not the tail!" Kurt wailed as Lionblaze chomped his teeth down on his tail. "YEEEEOWCH!"

Kitty stood still and let a pouncing RiverClan cat phase right through her. "Well that was eas—EEEK!" She yelped as her concentration faded and another cat bit her thigh.

"That's it!" Todd fumed from back on the ground as he slimed one of the cats attacking him.

"Eraaagh!" Blackstar, the unfortunate cat in question yowled. "This smells worse than mouse bile and fox dung!"

"He slimed our leader!" Rowanclaw yowled angrily. "ShadowClan, get the green one!"

"Ooops." Todd gulped, not understanding what they said but catching the furious gaze of the ShadowClan warriors. "Aaahaaaaa!" He screamed as he hopped away as fast as he could, chased by the whole of ShadowClan.

"Alright enough's enough!" Althea said as Scott was tackled by Onestar and a patrol of WindClan cats. "Let's see how you cats like THIS!" Using her powers, Althea summoned up a wave of water from the lake surrounding the island and brought up a wall of water. With a gesture she sent the wave down on the clearing.

Water was everywhere. It doused the entire island. For a moment there was a long pause. Then Wanda, wiping her face, looked at Althea. "Um, Al?"

"Yes?"

"You just used your water powers against a horde of cats."

"That's right."

"Cats don't like water."

"…Yeah?"

"Sooo, what you did just pissed them off even more?"

"Yeah." Althea winced. "Whoops."

Wet, their fur plastered to their sides, the warrior cats were furious. Well, three out of four of them were. RiverClan cats liked the water, they swam all the time. But the other Clan warriors yowled in fury and redoubled their efforts.

"Alright, time to fry some kitties!" Bevatron cackled as he prepared his lightning powers. Lionblaze, the fiercest warrior in the forest, charged at him.

"Lionblaze, wait!" Catseye called. But the ThunderClan warrior was not to be stopped. Bevatron's attack struck Lionblaze, dead on….but he kept on coming! Bevatron fired at him again and again…but no matter what, Lionblaze could not be stopped! Bevatron was driven to distraction.

"Stand still you wretched little….Aaaaah!" He screamed as Lionblaze slashed away at him. Catseye gaped. Panting, Firestar explained.

"Lionblaze can't be injured in battle." He panted. "Don't worry about him!"

"Jeeeean!" Scott shouted as cats besieged everyone in the clearing. "Can you send them a telepathic signal to just, get out of here?" He begged. "Ow!"

Jean closed her eyes. Celandine and Monet's powers couldn't affect animals. But hers could. Just as she put her hands to her head, Jayfeather—the blind ThunderClan medicine cat—looked up at her.

Strength met strength as Jayfeather felt himself walking inside Jean's thoughts and memories. After a moment his legs gave out from under him. He gasped. "These…Twolegs! They're…they're…"

"What is it Jayfeather?" Firestar asked. "What about them?"

"They're…totally insane!" Jayfeather shouted. "If we don't get them out of here they're craziness will wreck us all!"

"Like we needed another reason." Lionblaze grunted as he sunk his claws into Jetstream's legs.

Catseye practically purred in satisfaction. It was working! The cats were winning. That was when Rahne, still a wolf, reappeared. She growled fiercely, fangs bared.

"Dog!" Screeched Brightheart, who had been attacked by a dog.

"No, that's no dog! It's a wolf!" Cried Squirrelflight.

Onestar glared. "Shred it!"

"Wait!" Catseye held up her tail. "No attack, she friend of mine!"

"A wolf is a friend of yours?" Berrynose yelped. "You're completely mousebrained!"

Catseye padded up to Rahne and sat down in front of her. She mewed friendly and shook her head. Rahne tilted her head curiously, her snarl disappearing. "Arraroo?"

"Mrrowow!" Catseye nodded, pointing to the Blackbird with her tail. Rahne flattened her ears…but nodded. Without attacking anyone, Rahne ran up the ramp and into the Blackbird.

"Rahne! Get back here and help!" Bobby shrieked as he was dog-piled by fighting cats.

"Ugh, now I wish we did bring Penny!" Scott moaned as he did a little dance, trying to avoid be scratched by cats.

"Hellions retreat! We're getting out of here!" shrieked Monet as great clumps of her hair were torn out. Flying, flailing, running away as fast as they could. Catseye stayed put.

Seeing that their opponents were pulling out, Scott and Althea realized that there was no harm in pulling out now as well. "That's it! X-Men, pull out!" Scott shouted as he started back towards the Blackbird.

"Back to base Misfits!" Althea echoed as they activated the mass device.

"We've done it! They're running!" Firestar yowled in triumph. He turned to Catseye. "Thank you for all your help. You are welcome in ThunderClan any time."

"Thank you." Catseye dipped her head. "Excuse me." She ran off, climbing aboard the Blackbird's ramp just as it closed. The jet took off, leaving the island, and the forest Clans, alone.

Catseye padded over to Rahne, who was sitting in one of the Blackbird's seats as a human. She ran her tail against Rahne's leg, getting her attention. Rahne looked down and saw Catseye pointing at the back of the jet with her tail. She unstrapped herself and followed her, getting some privacy. There Catseye shifted back to human.

"Sharon, what was that about?" Rahne asked. "I know you had something to do with those cats attacking everyone, but why? And why attack your own team? Did you find the mutants?"

"Catseye find mutants." She admitted. "They better off where they are. No one else to find them." She paused. "Sorry about making cats attack, but we in their forest. Twolegs—Humans—not belong there. Can you have team drop me off near Boston?"

"Sure." Rahne sighed. "I'll talk to them. Just stay back here until I convince them." She paused. "Say Sharon? What were the mutants like?"

Catseye shrugged. "They…hard to describe." Then she paused in thought. "Catseye never found all mutants. Never found precog. Wonder where he is?"

000

In the island clearing where the battle had so recently concluded. The warrior Clans had returned to their camps and the wildlife on the island was cautiously trying to return to a sense of normalcy. From behind a tree a rabbit poked its head out.

"Well, you were right Fiver." The rabbit said. "Something horrible did happen to Sandleford warren." He winced. "Now, tell me again about these high lonely hills you saw in your vision? Please tell me they're far away. Far, far, far away!"

The End

000

A/N: Hey all! I'm not dead! I am not dead yet, I can dance and I can sing! I am not dead yet,

I can do the Highland Fling!

*Ahem* Anywho, sorry for the long, long, long absence. Truth is my interest in the fandom waned for a while and my climactic Civil War-Checkmate story grew so big that I became a bit daunted trying to finish it. So I'm going to be putting it aside in favor of getting back my roots of random, short-term fun with the Misfits and X-Men!

I also see this as a chance to continue on with as many wacky-crossovers as I can manage!

So, I *will* be writing more Misfitverse fun and hope you'll enjoy the ride!