/AN: Hey everybody. About time I bring something over this week. This is technically part of a 5+1 series I have going on. This piece itself is in chronological order but not all the others are or take place over the same time period. They're all set in the same AU, and reference each other, but for the most part can be read as stand alone pieces. This story, and Five Times Kirk Surprises Bones, are complete but I'm probably just going to upload one chapter at a time. There is also a Five times Kirk Surprises Spock and Five times Uhura surprises Spock story in progress.

All these stories complete or IP can be found crossposted on AO3, under the same username. /AN

"He's respectful?" Nyota said before taking a sip of her mimosa. She wondered how much she would have to drink to tolerate Jim Kirk at 0930 on a Sunday morning.

"Well, to me at least. Men here are assholes. Kirk doesn't judge." Nyota had to admit she didn't think Kirk would treat Gaila any different for being Orion, or a former Orion slave girl, unlike many of the other cadets that seemed to think that meant they could treat her like shit. "Besides, Kirk gets it." Gaila finishes with a shrug.

"Sorry I'm late ladies," Kirk saunters in. "Gaila," he kisses her cheek before sitting down in the empty chair next to her then nods at Uhura, "Margaret."

"No," Uhura takes a large gulp finishing up her mimosa. She waved down a waiter to get her another.

Gaila giggled. She thought Nyota making Kirk guess her first name was hilarious. "How did your test in Warp Theory go?"

Kirk shrugged. "It was boring. I don't get what's the big deal, it's not like the warp equations are hard or anything."

"Not hard?" Nyota asked after another gulp of mimosa. That class kicked her ass last term.

"I mean, I stole one of my mom's PADDs and memorized the equations when I was still in kindergarten, so like yeah."

"Kindergarten?" Nyota laughs. The alcohol is making Kirk more tolerable, yeah, but she's also starting to realize she is quite possibly well on her way to drunk before 1000.

Kirk shrugged. "I've been told I lacked adequate stimulus as a child. I found it my own ways." Nyota didn't realize this referenced his sexual and fighting behaviors as much or more than his apparent self-education until she sobered up that afternoon.

They continued chatting, mostly Gaila with either Kirk or Uhura, but occasionally Kirk or Uhura would talk with each other. Mainly small talk or stuff relating to classes. Kirk was still a first year command cadet, and Nyota was a second year communications, so most of the crossover was mandatory classes all cadets had to take, but there was more than Uhura would have thought. "You're taking classes in communications and engineering?"

"I mean yeah, I had to petition for the higher course load, and I'm going to have to take summer classes but I'm on track to graduate command with emphasis in communications and engineering in three years."

Nyota scoffed. "Three years?" She probably couldn't blame that one on the drink.

"Yep."

Whatever Nyota was about to say is cut off when a security cadet - the one that started the fight with Kirk that night Nyota first met him - sauntered up. "What'd'ya know, the man-slut and the whore. Couldn't find any more willing girls to fuck without paying huh Kirk?"

"Mornin' Cupcake," Kirk grins and Nyota groans. She does not need a repeat of that night this morning. It was brunch, for fuck's sake, not a dive bar. "Now, I don't usually talk shop at the table, but since you brought it up, my services run 800 credits an hour, 4,000 a night. If you're interested in my services I have a number I can give you. I don't discriminate against assholes. Until then, kindly, leave the sex work talk for the bedroom honey." Kirk calmly went back to eating his biscuits and gravy. The security cadet seemed too stunned to respond.

"You don't have to stand up for me you know," Gaila said somberly after some of the other Cadet's friends dragged him away.

"Nah, Gal, he's just an ass. Cupcake likes picking fights almost as much as me, I swear. Not the first time I've gone toe to toe with the bastard." Kirk grins again. "Might be the first time it didn't come to blows."

"Are you really a- a-"

"Full service sex worker." Gaila supplied.

Kirk nodded. "Well, technically I suppose 'was' would be more accurate. Not much time really for work between classes."

"Were, were you working the night…" Nyota trailed off.

Kirk laughed. "Oh Marjorie, I don't have to look for clients. Anyone I pursue is purely for my own enjoyment." He winked.

Nyota couldn't help blushing. She blamed it on the drink as she knocked back half of another mimosa.