Disclaimer: I don't own NGE, Gainax do and that other American company.

Title: The Red Head

Prologue: Two weeks before the first Chapter

Author: Scarabeye 3000

Pre-reading done by Wolfie(WILL YOU PLEASE CONTACT ME!)

To all readers: An Author's tribute to Axel Terizaki, one of the first and great names in fanfic writing. A comical and much more, less serious look at the concept of his work the ever popular and classic 'The Child of Love'.

Katsuragi Apartment

Right after the last Angel battle, upon which the second Rei died and Asuka was proven that she couldn't pilot the Evangelion with her low synch rate. The 2nd Child lay motionless as she looked on the full moon spreading its gentle light on the streets below.

"Synch rate minus 10" she murmured as she leaned closer on the edge, "What will my life be without Eva?"

She had been sitting on the terrace's edge looking down on the street below for about half an hour when she concluded on one thing. "I'm hungry, where's Shinji anyway?"

With a huff she stepped down on the terrace and headed for the living room. She found the 3rd Child listening to his SDAT while doing his homework and Pen-pen sitting beside him. She can audibly hear the blaring sound in Shinji's SDAT as classical music reached her ears.

A/N: Imagine how loud would that be, but hell he is always depressed isn't he?

'Classical music again. How boring.' "Baka! Make food now!"

Shinji wasn't paying attention because he couldn't hear it through his loud music. Unfortunately our favorite redhead is not giving up.

"HEY SHINJI! MOVE YOUR BUM-ASS AND MAKE SOME FOOD FOR ME!"

Pen-pen squawked and ran back to his fridge, Shinji on the other hand hadn't paid heed to Pen-pen and still hadn't heard her. Asuka slits her eyes and approached him at the back., she smiled and reared herself back.

She smacked the 3rd Child on the head rather forcefully and he was knocked down on the ground.

"OW!" Shinji retorted as he rubbed his head, "You could just tap my shoulder you know."

"Serves you right Baka-Shinji. Because you weren't paying attention to me!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't heard you," he bowed and began to fix his things, "What do you need Asuka?"

"I need you to cook some food because I'm hungry."

Shinji nodded dumbly and stared at the wall.

"Well get up Baka and start cooking something for me." Asuka stared down at him, "Or do you also want me to drag you out of there?"

Shaking his head left and right Shinji stood up and headed for the kitchen, "No, no I can do it on my own."

Both Children headed for the kitchen and took their own places. With the 3rd Child in the cooking area and Asuka in the 'queen bitch' lounge, or more commonly known as the kitchen table. Shuffling through the cupboards, Shinji begins to sweat. 'Not now… oh man there's no food left.'

"Umm… Asuka we have a problem." He fidgeted as Asuka looked threateningly at him.

"What is it? Don't tell me there's nothing to cook?" he nodded his head slowly at her, "Fine! I'll go check the fridge then."

She stood up and headed for the fridge, opening it she found a never-ending supply of Yebisu beer carefully stacked over the other. Opening the freezer she also discovers a 'gold mine' of Yebisu beer. "Beer, beer, beer. What the hell is wrong with this? There's beer everywhere!"

Finding nothing to feed on she focused on the only thing left. "Fine lets have beer."

She picked up a six-pack and headed for the couch, Shinji shuffled along behind her. "Aren't you underage for that Asuka?"

"Come on Shinji, its just beer. In Germany we even drink Heineken there, a much stronger brew than Yebisu here. And beside do you know Octoberfest came from Heineken, Germany." She took a can and opened it with a 'psst' she took a couple of swig and opened the TV.

"What's an Octoberfest?"

"It's a tradition started in Germany, its basically getting drunk that's all."

Shinji nodded his understanding. "I see… " 'What's that got to do with underage drinking?'

"Well Baka?" she pointed on the space beside her as she threw him a can of beer, "Sit down and join me."



An hour later / and a couple of six-packs too

Asuka was light-headed and her vision began to grow foggy and she became much more talkative than before. She leaned over to Shinji who immediately stiffened at the contact, upon which he already finished his second can. "Come on… Shinji (HIC) … I'm the one doing all the drinking here. (HIC) Drink some more ok?"

Much to the readers delight Shinji is drunk too. Apparently he was beginning to fall asleep and his surroundings were beginning to fade out of him. When he looked at her suddenly as he felt wetness on his shirt, "Why in the world am I wet… umm… Asuka you ok?" 'What the hell…? Is she crying? … Damn! She is crying!'

With tears on her face Asuka began to break down her walls on her own, and with the added influence of the alcohol she began to tread the dangerous waters of 'Pity'.

"Shinji," she said through her tears, "I don't even know where to begin with?"

Feeling compassion and of course the added 'bravado' or 'stupidity' offered by the alcohol, Shinji hugged Asuka and rubbed her arms and back. "It's ok, just… just say (HIC) it slowly to me ok?" 'Am I hugging her? This is one hell of a dream.'

She nodded and her true feelings blew forth a dam of emotions. "I can't pilot (HIC) anymore Shinji."
He stared at her through his drunken stupor, "Yes, you still (HIC) can! You are number one Pilot right? (HIC)" 'Yeah right, all bitchy and… what am I thinking!?!'

"That was before Shinji… " she hesitated and looked at Shinji's dark blue eyes, " Before I was ' (HIC) …aped' by that Angel Shinji. It opened my mind Shinji… to things I didn't want to see. It forced me something to do that I don't want… to do. "

Asuka cried harder and her breathing labored as she laid herself on Shinji's arms like a wounded animal that needs caring and comfort.

A/N: God! I have got to stop being so cheesy!

"Your number one Pilot right?" he caressed her back as Asuka wiggled to a more comfortable position as she hiccuped and her shoulders kept hitching from crying, "Asuka, you will always be number one... for… for me I guess." 'Could this night get any weirder?'

He looked at her and found her to be silent at what he said, "Well you might not have noticed, but you were not alone… well I'm here right?" 'Go Baka! Go Baka GO! …the hell is wrong with me?'

"Why Shinji?" she whispered as she held onto him tighter. "Why are you doing this?

He looked down at her questioningly, "Why… why are you so nice to me? Even though I was a real bitch at you? Why Shinji-kun?"

"I don't know, its just the way I am I guess."

Asuka looked up at him and met each other's gazes. Shinji's face crimsoned and he averted his eyes in embarrassment.

"You are cute."

"W-w-w what? I mean… what did you say?"

"You were always nice Shinji." Asuka's eyes were half-lidded and her movements were sluggish. She pushed Shinji in a lying position on the couch and saddled him. He sweats nervously as Asuka's face came forward at him. She was breathing on him and he can smell the strong aroma of the alcohol in her lips.

'God! What is she think… king? Holy shit!'

Still in her drunken state Asuka took off her shirt and her breast jiggled up and down in front of him.

Shinji's blood exploded in his nose and she stalked him slowly and sexily, like a cat that had just cornered a mouse. 'I was expecting to be drunk… but god! Not this! '

Asuka smiled as she took off her neural interface clips. "You really (HIC) are cute when you blush (HIC) Shinji-kun… "

She leaned down on him as she tried stripping Shinji off his annoying clothes.

He managed to pry her off him and luckily managed to stumble to the hallway, he looked back and saw Asuka walking sideways towards him. He got up and ran to his room, but instead he just ran in front of his closed door and knocked himself out. Asuka though half-naked and with her head spinning managed to grab Shinji by the foot and drag him back to her room. There was a mischievous smile on her lips as she closed the door and locked it with a click.

A/N: Ok that's enough on that. I don't want to be kicked out of again. Let's all just assume that they 'did' it. But one thing is certain, they were 'slippery' and really 'wet' when they were 'done'.

MORNING

7:00 A.M.

Shinji's head was spinning and he felt peculiar as his gears started working and a number of things are different this morning when he woke up.

Where is his SDAT?

'In the living room of course.'

Why didn't his alarm clock wake him up?

'I forgot to set it I guess.'

Why is the ceiling unfamiliar?

'Maybe Misato redecorated my room … last night?'

Why does he smell chamomile shampoo?

'Weird, I use bubble gum scent shampoo.'

Why is he sleeping in a very soft bed with soft sheets?

'I used fabric softener on the laundry last week.'

Why is something heavy on top of him?

'Maybe Pen-pen had a bad dream.'

Why is he sleeping in the nude?

'Pen-pen might be gay?'

… and why is Asuka on top of him instead of Pen-pen?

He also took note that she was also naked and he felt a wet spot on the bed.

'Holy shit…. '

Moments later Asuka opened her eyes. They met each other's gazes and she looked down on the inside of the blanket.

Outside the suburbs of Tokyo-03 it was a very peaceful day. The weather was nice and the birds wee chirping on the trees, the milkman was delivering the milk and all is well in God's heaven. 2 seconds later the peace and tranquility was destroyed by two screams coming from the Katsuragi Apartment. Even Misato who had just came back from work and was sleeping soundly on the next room shot up and headed for Asuka's room.

"WHAT IS GOING ON HERE?" Misato said as she forcefully opened the door.
"YOU BLOODY PIECE OF ECCHI!!!" Asuka said as she bludgeoned Shinji with a pillow mercilessly, "HOW DARE YOU 'DO' IT TO ME!!!"

"Wait Asuka! Ow! Hey wait a minute," he said trying to shield himself from Asuka's relentless attacks, "Why is it me?"

"You! Of all people you! King Dork and Leader of the Introvert and Stooges League!" she said as she gathered a sizable amount of the blankets to hide her 'birthday suit'. "You piece of Schiest!"
There was a 'bang' and the two Children stopped and looked at Misato with a smoking gun beside her and a bullet hole in the ceiling.

"You two get dressed and meet me at the kitchen."

30 minutes later

Misato sat in front on the middle kitchen table as Shinji came up first. Droning his usual white shirt and black pants, he seated himself on Misato's right. Next came Asuka in a red shirt and her usual small shorts, there was a scowl on her face and she had a brass knuckle on her hand. She snorted at Shinji and seated in front of him.

Misato laid her hand and Asuka grudgingly handed her the brass knuckle.

"Where did you get this anyway?"

"In Germany, I do have older friends there ok Misato?"

"But where will you use it to? If your planning to use it on Shinji, that's called domestic violence."

Asuka stared at Misato angrily, "Domestic violence are for couples only, and they only apply on women."

"Yes I know that. But both of you will be a couple after this talk."

Both Children stared at her dumbly, "Schiest! What did you say?"
"I said after that thing you did, you both must be a couple or something. Are you not?"

"Gott Verdant! We are not a couple!" Asuka screamed, "We were drunk last night! That's all!"
"Oh so that's were all my beer has gone into, well I guess we will need to talk about underage drinking later on."

Shinji cleared his throat to make his presence known, "Well do you want me to tell the story Misato?"

"Why should you be telling the story? You're the one who raped me!"

By this time Shinji closed his eyes and in rare occasion shot back, "Shut up Bitch!"

The two girls stopped arguing and looked at him.
"What did you call me Shinji?" Asuka said as she stood up and leered at him.
"I called you a bitch."

"That's what I thought you called me." Asuka vaulted and caught Shinji in the neck. Both Children fell on the floor and she was on top. Misato stood up thinking that Asuka will beat the hell out of Shinji, what she didn't expect was exactly the thing that happened.

The 2nd and 3rd Child's lips met in a deep kiss. Misato's head vein bulged and a couple more on her fist, "STOP KISSING DAMN IT!!!"

Both Children snapped out of it and immediately Asuka slapped Shinji, "How dare you kiss me?"

"Me kiss you? Why would I kiss you?"

"You rape me last night!"

"I did not!"

"Did to!"

"Did not! And we were drunk remember!"

As Shinji and Asuka quarreled Misato just shook her head and took out a beer and opened it. "Something weird is going on."

Miles away inside the Geofront

Commander Ikari walked beside the LCL production plant. The white Angel mass crucified at Terminal Dogma known as Lilith looked down upon him. Then Commander Ikari took out a plastic container and dumped the contents of it into the LCL pool.

"I could never be sure with Ritsuko," he tipped the container's bottom and resealed it.

"Her 'love coffee' will never work on me."

And with his 'sinister' work done he walks out of the room and disappeared on the shadows of the NERV base.

Looking back the liquid that the Commander dumped on the LCL pool did not immediately disintegrate. It took a good one-minute before the 'love coffee's' black color dissipated in the vast pool of yellow LCL.

To be Continued

Please watch out and read Chapter one of 'The Red Head'

Author's note:

Well, that fic was brewing in my system ever since I read the Child of Love in the Internet. Also this fic was greatly fueled by the fic 'The Child of Love' by Axel Terizaki. And maybe Temptation Island will be updated together with the publishing of the First Chapter of this fic.

Well, thanks for reading, to the reviews and well the few Flamers I guess.

Thank you for reading,

Scarabeye 3000