Disclaimer: I don't own Jude, Cardan, or anyone else. They belong to Holly Black.

Poison

I was about to take my poison. I had gone a couple of days without taking it, so I was dreading it. It was always harder to take it after not being able to for a few days. I always retched and vomited. But no one got anywhere without sweat, blood, and tears, especially me.

I cut small portions off of each poison, and put the rest to the side. I put the glass to my lips, just as Cardan walked in. He glanced at the poison on the table and said, "Am I interuppting your poison sorting?"

"Not exactly," I replied.

"What do you mean not exactly?" he asked.

"Well..." I said.

"Well what?" he asked impatiently.

"I kind of sort of took the poison," I said quickly.

"You what! Are you trying to commit suicide? Or, are do you just want to hurt me?" he yelled angrily.

"No it's to help build immunity to those poisons," I said before my knees gave out.

"Jude!" he shouted.

I crawled to the bathroom. He followed me in as I dragged my self over to the toilet. I started retching and vomiting up everything I ate. Cardan held my hair back awkwardly while I did this.

"I knew I shouldn't have eaten," I muttered to myself.

I was sweating profusely. He picked me up without a word and carried me to the bed. He layed me on it gently.

"How often do you do this?" he asked quietly.

"Most of the time? Every night," I said.

"Is it always this bad?" he asked.

"Only if I don't take it for a few days," I replied.

He sat down on the bed's edge. I was lying on top of the coverlet shivering.

"Are you okay now?" he asked in a concerned voice.

"Yeah, just cold," I replied.

Hearing that he got up, pulled the coverlet back, and tucked me in.

"Better?" he asked. I nodded.

Then I said the thing that's been on my mind since he walked in. "Why are you being so nice? Even now that we're together you still are the sarcastic ass you were before. So naturally I'm wondering why."

"Because when your knees gave out it nearly gave me a heart attack. Because twenty minutes ago I thought you were about to die, and I wasn't ready for that. Because I love you," he said quietly.

"I love you too," I said, knowing it was true.

And realizing that this was the first time we'd said we loved each other, I sat up, pulled him towards me, and kissed him, long and hard. He kissed me back, and I loved him so much in that moment.

I know what Taryn would be thinking if she was here. She would be thinking, there is no way that is my sister Jude Duarte. And, I would be laughing at her.

But, she wasn't here. She was out there somewhere, screwing around with Locke. Just thinking about that made me want to cry. And, cry I did. I started sobbing while I was full-on making out with Cardan.

"What is it, what's wrong?" he asked instantly alert.

"M-my twin s-sister hates me and I-I miss her," I said stuttering.

"Shh, it's okay," he said quietly.

I wrapped my arms around him and he held me against his chest. I sobbed until I couldn't stand it. Then, I got up. I had gotten a migraine from crying and needed some aspirin. As I pulled out the aspirin, Cardan got up.

"What's that?" he asked.

"Aspirin," I replied.

"Is it another poison?"

"No it's for my migraine," I answered honestly.

"Oh," he said and we lapsed back into silence.

"I should probably sleep," I said.

"Are you tired?" he asked in a surprised voice.

"Not particularly, but I should rest none the less," I replied.

He left the room without another word and I slipped into bed.

A/N: This story is what would I think have happened if Jude hadn't crowned Cardan, and something had happened between them. I hope you enjoyed it. I love you guys.

- Claressia Heronstairschild