I have been trying to write this one for years. Anyway it's a That 70s Show one shot with canon and non-canon future stuff because the show did not end right and I must fix it for the sake of Jackie and Hyde.
Anyway incase no one gets it and is really confused this is the point of view of Eric Foreman's basement. It's not an actual living being but like, if it had a spirit to it or something, I don't know what I was really going for but if anyone can tell an honest story it's the basement, because it saw all!
Anyway I do not own anything and am kind of insulted at any implication that I do because if I did then there would have been no season 8!
Stories? Yeah I got hundreds, I could tell you about what went on between my four walls, I mean come on the skinny kid and his friends never leave. Not to mention they are the biggest group of dumbasses to ever walk the earth. Although I do agree with the angry one that the skinny one is a twerp, I consider him my twerp… well alright technically he is also the red haired girls twerp and technically red haired girl is not aware that she is sharing said twerp with a basement but she is! But this particular story is not about skinny kid and red hair girl and how eventually they do come back together. Because everyone saw that coming, even I saw that coming and I'm a fucking basement for crying out loud. No, I think a much more interesting story is the one between the loud one and the angry one.
Now, I first met the angry one when he and the skinny one were small, smaller than they are now and I took in the tiny scowl and the laugh that would burst out of him every time skinny kid would trip over something and mess up and deemed him as the angry one. They have other names but theirs so many of them how can one keep track. Anyway I watched as the skinny one, the red hair girl and the angry one kept coming down and playing, the stupid one soon joined them and then the stupid one brought the loud one. (Eventually the foreign one joined them but he isn't important until later.)
The first moment the angry one caught sight of the loud one his gaze did linger but do not get it in your head that it was love at first sight or some crap like that. Oh no as the angry one would simply put it she's hot when her mouth is shut, but then the loud one went and ruined it by doing just that, she opened her mouth, started bossing around the stupid one with a frown on her face. The angry one's face immediately slipped into an annoyed scowl. Thus began their long complicated history.
That's how the relationship between the loud one and the angry one would remain for a while. She would not stop talking and the angry one would scowl at her. I decided that this would never change until the stupid one finally got caught cheating and the loud one would leave the basement in a dramatic last fury.
But that is not what happened.
True the stupid one did get caught cheating, their were many times of ups and downs with the loud one and the stupid one and maybe if the stupid one wasn't so stupid or cared a little bit more about the loud one this would be a different story, but he didn't and its not that story.
At some point things did start to change between the loud one and the angry one. If you ask me it's the second the loud one started crying over prom. Most people wouldn't have seen it but the way the angry one shifted, I could tell he didn't like this girl crying. Maybe he didn't like any girls crying all I could tell was he didn't like this girl crying and that is the point thing started changing. After that night even though the loud one and the stupid one were once again back together, the loud and angry one had a different way around each other, one could say more teasing and less spite. You could even say a maybe protectiveness had settled it's way into the angry one for the loud one because when the stupid one started cheating with what the skinny one calls the devil the angry one did everything to try to get the loud one and stupid one broken up. Although he would fervently deny it especially to himself one night when he was alone down here and drunkenly talking to himself about how "Damn Jackie sunk her fucking claws in me and I can't shake her off." They were both starting to like each other. At some point it could be called friendship as they taught each other to be what the angry one called Zen. Then after a while a big change happened. The moony look the loud one use to give the stupid one changed to that of the angry one and at first the angry one did what he did best. Deny and sarcasm repelling any advances the loud one would put up. But apparently from the shouts that were echoed from outside my door the angry one had finally given in but the damn loud one messed it up again!
I mean seriously! At this point I was getting frustrated with those two and couldn't help but see the disappointment on the angry ones face after he would come back that night from his supposed date with the loud one. How he would walk in and he just stood there for a few minutes thinking deeply before he vehemently shook his head and muttered, "screw this" before going to bed.
Not a lot would be about the loud one and angry one for a bit because unfortunately she was once again back with the stupid one and if I had a physical human body I would have banged my head against my own walls in frustration. Its as if nothing had happened and nothing changed what was wrong with these kids I want to throttle them. I do show my displeasure by making the doors stick for both of them whenever they try to leave or go to the bathroom, I ignore their confusion and frustration. It was frustrating to watch them!
But miracle upon miracles the stupid one ran off to California and thus ended the legacy of the stupid one and the loud one for now.
Because on that fateful summer it happened! They kissed and they finally gave in and let me just tell you if I had eyes, well I would have to had to avert them on occasion.
But it was more than that.
Even when they had their downs, even when they broke up that one time I knew eventually they would find their way back to each other.
Because the oddest thing happened, the loud one and the angry one changed they became better I felt it happening. But once again things can't be easy for these two, oh no they are both far too stubborn and prideful to see they are perfect for each other! So of course when the time came for the angry one to say yes he saw a future with the loud one, anyone with or without eyes could see he loved the loud one but nope. He just shook his head and let her run out and then later that night he ran out too and wasn't seen for weeks. I hoped that this meant something good but oh was I wrong.
And then that vapid disgusting ugh I hate how the angry one let the bad girl in here. I felt him changing; he was becoming the angry one again and worse than before. I felt like throwing a freaking party in myself when she left, if I had a voice I would have let out a cheer, but unfortunately that was not the end of loud one and angry ones story. It wasn't just the angry one that was getting worse the loud one was becoming, well to put it simply more loud and annoying and in her confusion and hurt that I even could see from her eyes she looked for the closest comfort she could find
Remember how I said the foreign one doesn't become important until later,
It's later.
She apparently moved in with the foreign one and let me just state that in the beginning the foreign one was just plain disgusting but overtime I grew a fondness for the boy because he displayed kindness and loyalty for the rest of the group. But when the loud one and foreign one said they were dating! No that was not okay, under no circumstances would I allow this! I remember at one point I would make the bathroom door stick so much the loud one or foreign one couldn't even open it. But that didn't change anything! They just kept it up and it got worse when they started kissing! Ugh!
Then as those two locked lips I could see the angry one holding back, the stoniness of his face, the curl of his fists, he was mad. But he wouldn't do anything, whether to be a good friend to the foreign one or because he was just being stubborn I don't know, but I could tell the angry one still loved the loud one. Deep down when the loud one wasn't kissing the foreign one I could tell she still loved the angry one too. But again they refused to do anything because it's them and that would be the easy thing to do. If I had eyes I would be rolling them.
But something happened that led me to believe there was more to the foreign one then anyone ever thought. One night after everyone had left except for the foreign one and the angry one they talked and as they talked the loud one came up, the foreign one watched the angry one, saw the signs and I watched as his face morphed into confusion, recognition and then… defeat. After the angry one went to bed the foreign one stayed down their a little more just thinking, he then sighed and got up. Slowly right before he walked out he turned and a little smile formed on his lips and then he left.
The next day it was calm, at least I thought it was, the skinny one, red hair girl (who was thank god back to being a red head) and angry one were calmly just hanging out. Apparently it was a day off for all of them but the calmness didn't last long as the stupid one suddenly burst in and through his garbled loud speech managed to get the skinny one and red hair girl out of the basement and up to the kitchen. The angry one stared for a second but then the foreign one came in pulling the loud one protesting behind him. He flung her in and then turned and locked the door before standing in front of it. The loud one stared at the angry one, who was trying to look like he didn't care about any of this. The loud one turned to the foreign one.
"Fez what is going on?"
The foreign one looked at the loud one, he had a sweet look in his eyes and a soft smile on his face but it was bitter sweet.
"My sweet Jackie, it is not going to work out between us."
The loud one's mouth fell open and the angry one stood up from his chair, fists curled and a grim look on his face.
"Fez, what- what did I do wrong I-"
The foreign one cut her off and walked up to her taking both her hands in his.
"Jackie you are hot, very sexy and I am probably going to hit myself for this later but… I cannot keep you when your heart belongs to another."
The loud one looked scared now and the angry one looked like he wanted to run the foreign one saw this and dropped the loud ones hands pointing to the angry one.
"Don't even think about it you son of a bitch if I have to break up with this goddess so you two idiots can be happy then you are not allowed to run away."
Everyone in me froze and the foreign one realized what he said.
"Ai! No I messed it up again-just- ugh no we are doing this anyway."
He turns to the loud one
"Jackie you are a goddess and I love your sweet sweet kisses but I have known from the beginning that I must step down eventually and since you two are not getting your crap together we as your friends must do it for you. Now Jackie we are over, we can still be friends and you can still live with me."
The foreign one shakes his head kisses the loud one on the cheek and starts to leave. The angry one tries to follow him but without even breaking his stride the foreign one pushes the angry one into his chair.
"Oh no you son of a bitch you stay here and both of you make it right, you took possibly very good sex away from me so I expect your first child to be named after me. Good day."
"Fez-"
"I said good day!"
The foreign one walked out, he might be strange but he does seem to understand love on some level and he understood that when it came to the loud one's love it was already taken.
The loud one and angry one took one look at each other and turned away. The loud one headed for the door and the angry one for the stairs but that didn't last long. The others had barricaded both doors and no amount of yelling was getting those doors to open until as the stupid one put it "I need to hear some serious making out in there!"
If I had breath to hold I would as I watched them just stare at each other and I felt it, one of those moments where they were at a cross roads and whatever choice they made would change everything. For a while neither said anything, the loud one stared at the angry one but he just stared at the floor, until…
"Steven."
His eyes shot up.
"You called me Steven."
"Yeah."
"Huh."
They stood there is silence for a bit longer.
"Look Steven… Fez was… Fez was right. And if you could please just for once take off your glasses and look me in the eyes and listen. After if you still don't get it then fine you can put the glasses back on and turn away but just give me one minute." The loud one had started off strong but as she went on her voice seemed to shrink and in the end it was like she was pleading for the angry one to listen.
A pause, a silent moment and then miracle upon miracles the angry one took off his glasses and hooked them on the shirt before looking up at the loud one and giving her his full attention. The loud one was surprised but she went on.
"That night Michael came and he wanted to have sex because he thought you and I were over and I was on the rebound. But I said no, I told him to get out; he goofed around, tipped over the ice, got it all over his clothes and took them off to take a shower. But I told him to get more ice. I was going to kick him out the second he got out of there. Then you showed up and that's the truth I swear."
The angry one looked at the loud one but it seemed like he was really looking at her for the first time in a long time. All at once I watched as some invisible weight seemed to leave his shoulders they slumped and I could almost see a smile trying to edge its way onto his face before he put a stop to that.
"Okay."
"Okay?"
"Yeah okay."
"What does that mean."
"It means Kelso is a dead man."
"Steven."
"I believe you Jackie."
"You do?"
"Yeah I do."
"Okay."
They had spent so long fighting each other and building this invisible wall between them that when it finally came crashing down neither knew what to do.
"What now?" The loud one finally asked.
Oh for the love of god! What I wouldn't give for a voice to yell for them to make out, heck I would allow them to start humping like bunnies on my couch if they would just-
"Why did you show up that night?" the loud one suddenly asked making the angry one freeze up and stiffen completely. He stared at the loud one as if making a big decision. Maybe it was the way she rung her hands or how her face showed that she may come to regret asking the question. Maybe it was because when he looked into her eyes he saw something that had been steadfastly there for him the whole time. Whatever it was he did something that the angry one rarely did. He told the truth.
"Because I needed to give you something."
"What?"
The angry one paused and seemed to be weighing options in his head before he made a decision. The angry one ran to his old room with the loud one chasing after him. Looking freaked out as if she once again had chased him away.
"Steven wait please don't just run away. I know your not good at words but-"
She stopped when the angry one came out; she looked at him, standing in the doorway, showing her a tiny ring. His face was just this neutral expression and she was open mouthed and shocked. She finally swallowed.
"Steven." You could hear the fear and hope in her voice.
"I was gonna give you this." His tone was deeper than usual as if he was holding back emotions.
She looked up at him and pointed to the ring.
"That's a ring."
He simply nodded his head.
"Yeah I know."
She looked a little exasperated.
"Steven why were you going to give me this." You could hear the demand coming back into her voice. That made the angry one blink and finally look down, scratching the back of his neck nervously.
"Shit Jackie."
"No no I get why, but if it was just to make me stay then we need to talk."
He met her eyes once again.
"It wasn't just to make you stay I had been thinking about it." There was conviction in his voice, he was telling the truth.
"What?"
He shrugged "I don't know. I had been thinking about if for a month or whatever and when you left I just…"
He stopped then looked down at the ring and then looked back up at the loud one.
"I screwed up Jackie, okay. I totally just foot up my fucking ass screwed up and the second I realized that, I knew, I should have given you the ring before I screwed up but I didn't. I tried to fix it and then I went and majorly foot up my ass screwed up again and…"
During this speech I felt them both transform as if they were shedding a protective covering that had been hiding both of them. I saw the loud one's pain drain out of her eyes and her body drop from the prim and irritating stance she had been holding it in. I watched the angry ones eyes soften his whole body seemed to slump relax and soften in the true presence of the loud one, his loud one, his voice even took on a dare I say tender tone.
"My life has sucked and only a few things have been good to me in my life and made it seem okay. But with you my life seemed better than okay, it was good you know, you loving me, that was cool and me loving you back wasn't as bad as I always thought it would be. Jackie you were one of the few good things in my life okay so…"
He hesitated a second before making sure he was making deep eye contact with her and taking a deep breath he went on.
"I'm sorry I screwed up and I can't promise it wont happen again. But… give me another chance and I swear I'll try to make sure I don't hurt you like that again."
The loud one just stared at him in shock before finally saying.
"You loved me?"
"Never stopped, I love you Jackie."
Her face seemed to be frozen in shock before it slowly morphed into an expression no one had seen in a while. The Zen face that angry one had taught her all those years ago.
"Okay." She said.
"Okay?"
"Yeah okay."
"What does that mean."
"Just please come over here Steven."
Angry one froze for a second but loud one continued to stand there with her arms open for him. Angry one swallowed and he walked over slowly and wrapped his arms around loud one pulling her close to his chest. Loud one buried her face in his neck and angry one buried his face in her hair and they just stood there for a moment
"What now?" Loud one asked softly.
"Well I'm not opposed to doing it." Angry one muttered.
Loud one paused slowly leaned out of angry one's hug and stared at him angry one looked hesitant for a brief second before loud one broke out in a smile.
"Just kiss me you pig."
Angry one grinned. "Yes dear."
They kissed and in that instant all was right with the world as I felt something click into place, after all those two were meant to be together.
Then loud one suddenly pulled out of the kiss and pointed to the ring still in angry one's hand.
"Oh and we are so not ready for that."
"Wait did you just turn down a wedding ring? Jackie Burkhart said no to marriage?"
"I'm saying yes to you instead so it's better."
That of course brought on more kissing which soon turned my whole basement a little steamy. Until the angry one broke away and ducked back into his old room.
"Steven where are you going?"
"I'm putting this away."
"Why?"
"Because I'm going to need it later."
He took her hand and led her upstairs.
That was not the end
Their would be a angry one sitting down here in the circle trying to calm down his nerves before proposing to the loud one and then he would be sitting in the circle again before marrying the loud one and then after marrying the loud one and then after the loud one told him she was pregnant and-
Yeah lets just say the angry one became a much more frequent visitor of the circle in a life with the loud one.
Now, I can't tell you it was all happily ever after because honestly if those really exist they are not for these people. These people have led a to harsh reality to ever have a fairy tale ending. At this point I don't think any of them want that perfect ending, it would be too boring and too fake for any of them. Besides its still not the end, I can't really tell you how it's going to all end, after all I'm just a basement. I can't tell you much outside of my four walls.
But I can tell you that the sight I see now is perfect, the stupid one in the lawn chair, his daughter by his feet as the book lady leans against the chair smiling at them both. The stupid one looks up and his smile widens, I sense a beginning, but like I said another story entirely, but who didn't see that coming?
The Foreign one where he sits grinning at the daughter, eating a bag of MnM's, thinking of the phone number of the girl he met that day in his pocket – no, its not this one, this one will rip his heart out more than any girl ever did, but the next one is a keeper she is the one that truly wants to mend the foreign one's heart, she is truly one in a million.
The red hair girl and the skinny one snuggled in the corner of the couch, the red hair girl occasionally stealing another glance at her engagement ring and every time the skinny one sees her do it he smiles because he finally got it right.
And then as it should be the angry one sitting in his chair, the loud one and her pregnant belly snuggled in his lap.
The basement gang was together and all was well between my four walls.
"Ow! Jeez!"
"Jackie that's like the 10th time are you sure your okay?"
"Yeah fine, I think I'm just going to go lay down."
"Uh oh Jackie looks like you spilled something"
….
"OH MY GOD!"
"CRAP!"
"WAIT! NOW! SERIOUSLY!"
"Donna could you stop freaking out for two seconds, Eric stop gawking and go get your freaking mother before Jackie has the baby in the basement."
"Oh that sounds awesome why didn't we have Betsy in the basement?"
"I'm not even going to answer that Michael."
"Ha! You just did burn! Ow Hyde!"
"Move your blocking the door."
"Jeez Hyde relax you don't need to freak out until Jackie starts screa-"
"OH MY GOD OW OW OW THAT HURTS WHAT THE HELL!"
"You feel like moving now Kelso?"
"Run my stupid friend, run, he has the hell fires in his eyes."
"Okay kids make way nurse coming through, hi Jackie how you doing?"
"I'M HAVING A BABY!"
"Well I see your water broke someone clean that up before Red sees. Well come on we better get you to the hospital dear, Eric could you clean up the water and then head over with your dad to the hospital?"
"What! Why do I have to clean up the she-devils mess?"
"Eric come on she's having a freaking baby… oh my god you're having a freaking baby there like huge.. Jeez you're really tiny Jackie."
"Okay Donna not very helpful right now how about you help Brooke with Betsy since hospitals and Kelso do not mix so keep track of the little one, Kelso, Fez if you could get to the hospital before us if possible that would be a help."
"Yes Miss kitty."
"All right dear lets go have a baby."
"Wait Steven the baby bag-"
"It's in the old room I'll grab it."
Silence as everyone exits and then the skinny one comes back in with a mop and bucket as the angry one comes out. He pauses for a second taking it all in.
"I'm gonna be a dad."
The skinny one stops and stares at the angry one.
"Yeah man."
"Shit hope that kids up for disappointment."
"Why should it be? It's getting you for a dad."
Brief moment of silence.
"Don't be such a girl Erica."
Chuckles
"Come on."
"Didn't you hear? I have to clean up your baby's water breakage."
"Red will be to distracted by the thought of being a grandpa to care, come on man your gonna be dorky Uncle Foreman."
"Sounds great daddy."
Another moment of silence as they both look around the basement.
"Did you ever think we would get here?"
"We almost didn't man."
"Yeah, Reds' right we can be dumbasses sometimes."
"Hell yeah."
Silence and the skinny one claps the angry one's shoulder.
"You think the basements ready for your hellion?"
The angry one grinned. "The place survived us man, this room can take anything."
With one last chuckle they hear another yell from outside that has them both racing out the door and for now I'm empty with the TV and lights left on. But below the buzz of the lights and the hum of the TV you can hear it, the echoes of the laughs and screams still reverberating off the walls. The stomped feet and the slammed doors, the blasted music and the exhales filled with pot, the soft sound of kisses and crying, both happy and sad all echoing off these four walls telling the stories of the six kids who would never leave my space. Years past and they grew up and apart only to fall back together again and yes my skinny Eric Foreman was right.
I had endured a lot at the hands of those six and I knew there would be more stories to come. Many more adventures talked over a round table through a cloud of thick smoke. And although they weren't always happy in the end it was better than a fantasy or a dream because they lived their lives and even though I don't know how it would all end for them I'd like to think in the end they all went out smiling.
But hey don't take my words for it after all I'm just a basement.
Okay I have been meeting to write this for years and the fact that I finally got it out amazes me. I know I have other stories that are long overdue for a new chapter but I saw this and I just had to finish it, That 70s Show was a great show for seven seasons and one really sucky season I'd like to think that somewhere down the road they all got it right and found out where they were suppose to be anyway I hope you enjoyed this and just have hope that eventually they all figured it out.