Note: I wrote this the day before the finale aired. Now that it has, I almost don't want to publish it, but it's been bouncing around in my head, so I will. WARNING: Character death and minor comma abuse.
Emma looked back only once, only one time before she made the choice to jump. All of the others were waiting on her, she was to be the first to make the jump, to lead everyone to a new land.
Almost everyone.
Once everyone(almost everyone) was through and the portal shut, only then did she realize the depth of her mistake. Only then did she realize how badly she had screwed up, and this time, this time there was nothing she could do to fix it. The weight of the world came crashing down on her shoulders, the air was knocked from her lungs.
Everyone else that had come through the portal, Snow, Charming, everyone, they just seemed to be relieved to be alive. To have made it safely. The only one who seemed even slightly negatively affected was Henry.
Of course, now he realized just how much Regina had loved him, realized that the Evil Queen wasn't as evil as he thought, that she was only a person, that she was human, even though she tried not to be.
She still had a heart, and in the end, that was what had killed her.
In a way, it was inevitable, Regina would've died because in the end, it was always a choice between Henry's life and hers. Being the strong, independent, loving woman she was, she would always choose Henry.
Because she was his mother.
She had stayed behind to slow down the diamond, to save them all, even though Charming and Snow would never like to admit it. To them, it was just easier if she was the Evil Queen, instead of Regina. Regina the woman, the mother, the kind and gentle soul twisted by years upon years of loneliness, neglect, and abuse.
But to Emma, it still felt like her death was a punch to the gut, a dull ache she knew would never go away.
What if she had stayed? Tried to help?
A small, rational part of her brain, the part that grew up in the foster system and lived on the streets screamed that she would've died as well, leaving Henry parentless and her parents childless, that was if they even agreed to go without her in the first place, which they probably wouldn't have.
But another part, the part that had gone to the Enchanted Forest and fought ogres and eaten chimera, that part insisted that had she stayed, Regina would've found some way to tap into her magic, the magic that had made Jefferson's hat work.
Emma didn't know which part was right. Either way, Regina was back where Storybrooke used to be. The Queen's- or was it the Mayor's?- final resting place was the town she had built for her enemies, killed by the thing she had created to ensure her victory, no matter what.
Emma left the group of people, heading into the woods. She stumbled through them blindly, eventually coming to a small stream.
She surveyed the site, deciding it would work.
She started gathering medium sized rocks.
She had work to do.
Regina watched, almost in disbelief, as The Savior turned and practically fled the mines. It was exactly what Regina had wanted her to do.
Then why did she feel her stomach sinking?
She blinked her eyes, finding them wet with tears.
Turning her attention back to the diamond, she focused, willing her magic to hold the diamond steady, to keep it from detonating long enough to allow the others to escape.
She thought of everyone she had loved, banishing the thought that her mother had tried to drill into her countless times; that love was weakness. As Ms. Swan, Emma, had said, love was strength.
She thought Cora, the look and words of love she had given her before she had died in her arms.
She thought of Daniel, the secret kisses they had shared, the young love they had felt.
She thought of her father, how he had loved her unconditionally, told her she could find happiness, and she had repaid him by ripping his heart out.
Of Henry.
Henry.
She wondered what he would think of this. What he would think of the realization that his world wasn't just black and white, that it was millions of shades of grey.
That she really had loved him, loved him to the fullest amount her heart had allowed. And then some.
Her thoughts turned to Maleficent, her oldest and dearest friend. She almost wished she had an opportunity to apologize for imprisoning her, for trapping her in the form she loathed. For sending Emma to kill her, for reanimating her to guard the fail safe, when she had really deserved her peace and rest.
She had a great deal of people to apologize to. As much as she hated it, Rumplestiltskin was due an apology, and so was Belle, along with Graham, Sidney, Katherine, and every single person that had been affected by the curse.
She oddly thought of Snow White and Prince Charming next, wondered how they would react to the news that their archenemy had died to save them.
Well, not them particularly, mainly Henry, but still.
The energy from the diamond tingled and crackled beneath her hands, and she let out a shaky breath, wondering whether or not the rest of Storybrooke had gotten away.
She could feel her strength leaving her, but she knew she couldn't give up, not until she toppled over from exhaustion. She had to give Henry and the rest of them the best chance to get out.
She found herself thinking of Emma next. She had honestly expected her to barge back in, as pigheaded as her father, and demand that she find another way to save Storybrooke. Maybe Emma would've lent some of her magic stores to Regina, maybe they would've manage to destroy the diamond. Hell, maybe they both would've been killed.
It didn't matter now.
She looked around the mines, and wondered how everyone would feel.
Would they honor her memory? Would Snow decree this day to be a feast in the future, celebrating the death of the Evil Queen? Or would it be in mourning of the passing of her, honoring her sacrifice? Or would she just slowly fade from their minds?
Why was she so worried about being remembered, anyway?
She stared at the diamond, pulsing with light and spinning faster and faster, struggling against her attempts to keep it from killing everyone.
She felt the disturbance of a portal being ripped open to another world, and felt it close a few moments later.
Her fate was sealed, then. She smiled a small, sad smile. The plan she had originally had for her and Henry was now being used by everyone except for her. How fitting.
She straightened, lifting her chin up in defiance, blinking away the last stray tears.
"I love you, Henry," she whispered to the empty town, the empty streets she had built with such care, the buildings and cars and homes.
Her magic ran out.
There was an explosion of light and force.
Then, nothing.
Not even an hour later, Emma Swan wiped her hands on her pants, surveying her work. She had build a pyramid of stones, about hip high at its point.
Now was the tricky part.
She closed her eyes, picturing what she wanted clearly in her mind.
In that moment, she swore she could feel a hand on her shoulder, and feel the disturbance as warm air passed near her ear, bringing with it the sound of Regina's voice.
"Magic is about emotion, Ms. Swan. Stop over-thinking it."
Emma smiled in spite of everything, and with a wave of her hand what she wanted came to pass. On the banks of the stream, the pyramid of river rocks turned to solid stone, engraved with a simple, "In memory of Regina Mills."
Behind the pyramid, completely to Emma's surprise, a small apple tree was now growing.
It was fitting.
"Did you know the Honeycrisp tree is the most vigorous and hearty of all apple trees?" Regina's voice purred from behind her.
Emma smiled at the familiar words, "I thought I hated you back then."
"As did I."
Emma knew Regina wasn't really there, but she reached up and touched where the warmth of her hand was, barely grazing the coarse fabric of her shirt.
"Regina, I-"
"Emma. I know."
Emma stood like that for what seemed like eternity, her hand hovering just above the spot of warmth.
"I should've gone back," Emma whispered.
The warmth from her shoulder disappeared, and Emma closed her eyes in defeat.
She was gone.
Slowly, as if unsure, warmth enveloped her back and parts of her torso.
She leaned back slightly into the hug, feeling the paths of tears as they worked their way down.