Meet yourself:

Couple of stupid cracky one-shots I've got stuck in my head. OUAT post s5 Emma is no longer the dark one, and she, Killian, and Henry celebrate their first night in their new place.

Killian broke down the last box and added it to the pile on the floor of their new living room "Well, that's the last of it." He said proudly.

Emma snorted, "Yeah, and we had to buy more than half of it." Killian looked around the room, there was a new dark blue sofa sitting by a new chocolate brown rug in front of a new magic box (the kind Henry called 't.v'), a new table and chairs in the dining room, and new beds and dressers in all the bedrooms.

Killian shrugged, "Well we didn't have much choice now did we love? Neither of us had much in the way of furniture and we couldn't very well live in a house without any. Besides, it's not like we couldn't afford it all and then some."

Emma snorted, "Yeah, I'd never thought the day would come where I'd be living in a house that was paid for using buried treasure."

Killian rolled his eyes, "For the last time Swan, I only buried the treasure I had to leave back in the Enchanted Forest, all the rest I just kept hidden in a safe spot at Granny's until I needed it. I never hesitated for a moment to trade my ship to get to you, but I sure as hell wasn't going to hand a horde of treasure over to Blackbeard on top of the Jolly Roger. I would have been a fool to do so."

Emma nodded, "yeah I can't blame you for that one." She walked over to him and Killian automatically opened his arms to her. She leaned into him and sighed happily, ever since they had banished the darkness she had taken in through the dagger, Killian had noticed that Emma seemed to need more physical comfort from others (not that he was complaining in the slightest). Emma rested her head on his shoulder, "this is really happening isn't it?"

Killian placed a kiss on her head, "Aye it is, our own place at last."

It had been a long discussed topic for all of them. After Emma came back to Storybrooke her parents had been thrilled to have her returned, but they had also suffered during her absence. As a result of the pain they'd felt from missing Emma so long they'd clung desperately to her, so much so that they were smothering her. Emma had tried to be patient with them, she had missed them as well and wanted to be close to her parents, Henry, and Killian, to make up for the time they'd lost. However, the simple fact of the matter was that Emma could only take so much of her mother hovering over her constantly asking if Emma needed anything (aside from three feet of breathing room 'no') and of her father asking if Emma wanted him to get anything for her (how about leaving her alone in the loft for five minutes at a pop) before she'd declared enough was enough and she was getting her own place.

Snow and Charming had not been thrilled, but Emma had insisted that it was time, and reassured them that they didn't need to worry about her being alone because Henry and Killian would both be there. Emma smiled as she remembered the shocked looks on both her parents' faces at that one. They had both known how much Emma and Killian cared for each other (after all their true love's kiss had been a big part of the curse being broken), but they certainly hadn't expected Emma to suddenly announce they were moving in together. Still, that's exactly what Emma had done, and now she and her pirate were standing quietly in the living room of their new seaside house feeling the tension from the move itself drain away.

Emma knew they weren't quiet done with everything yet, they'd spent the last three weeks, painting rooms, renovating the bathrooms, and fixing the loose stairs. Now they had finally unpacked all their stuff, both the old items they'd brought with (not much from either of them) and the new items they'd had to purchase or had been gifted (which pretty much made up the majority of the possessions in their new home).

Killian placed a gentle kiss on Emma's head and she wrapped her arms tighter around him, "I could definitely get used to this."

Killian chuckled, "I think I already have."

Before Emma could respond Henry's voice called, "Hey, Mom, Killian, I got a great way to celebrate officially…opps!"

Emma grinned as she turned to look at her teenage son, it still felt weird to even think that and said, "It's o.k. Kid, you didn't interrupt anything too important."

Killian said, "I beg to differ, we were after all just reveling in having moved into our first home together. I would say that's definitely important wouldn't you Swan?"

Emma playfully smacked his arm, "The celebration wouldn't be complete without Henry and you know it."

Killian nodded happily in Henry's direction, "That I do." Henry beamed back at him, if there was one thing Emma was grateful for about her time as the dark one it was how close Henry and Killian had become as a result. The two of them had always gotten along well together, but the year Emma was gone had been hard on the two of them particularly, and they had found solace in each other. Regina and her parents had both told Emma that Henry had spent as many nights that year sleeping on the Jolly Roger as he had in his old house and the loft (probably more because Henry and Killian quickly discovered the ship was a perfect place for them to plan how to get Emma back without anyone else around). Killian loved Henry like Henry was his own, and Henry looked at Killian like another dad, and Emma couldn't be happier about either.

Emma asked, "Alright Kid, so what's this perfect way to celebrate?"

Harry gave an all out grin as he rocked back and forth on his heels with something hidden behind his back, "well Mom, I know you love when we do our movie marathons, and Killian I know you want to know more about our world so I figured now's the perfect time. And I picked exactly the right movies to watch."

Henry pulled the rectangular packages from behind his back and handed them over to his mother. Emma looked them over for a moment and burst out laughing, "Seriously?" she said between giggles.

Henry, "Oh yeah, I mean he's going to see them eventually, it might as well be now. Besides you know you've wanted to do this forever."

Killian craned his neck to try and see what was so funny about the choices Henry had made, but he couldn't get a good view of the covers of the films. Killian had watched a few films and shows with Henry and Emma, so he wasn't as surprised by the things as he had been the first time, but he couldn't think of what had them both so excited about this set, "Do what?" He finally asked.

Emma was laughing so hard now that she couldn't even talk so she handed the films over to Killian, Killian wrinkled his forehead in confusion as he turned one over and read the title "Hook?" he said in complete confusion as Emma erupted once more, and Henry started chortling. Killian looked at the cover there were two men on the front, one had wispy brown hair, and seemed to be wearing a green tunic of some kind. The other man had long black curly hair, and deep set blue eyes, he was wearing an over-stuffed shirt, and sitting between them was a silver hook. Killian's eyes widened as he realized what this film must be about, "Oh you've got to be kidding me." He groaned.

Henry shook his head, "No, I've got all of them, Hook, Peter Pan, Return to Neverland, and the live action play of Peter Pan with Mary Martin, and we are watching every last one."

Emma had finally gained control of herself, "You always said you wanted to know what you were like in the stories in our world, well now you can have an answer. Besides." She pulled the movie out of Killian's hand and held it up, "This one is my favorite, I've seen it like 100 times."

Killian felt himself brighten considerably at that, "Always been a fan of me than have you?"

Emma rolled her eyes and said, "You might want to hold off on the self praise before you see what you're like in these."

Killian swallowed, judging by the grins on Henry and Emma's faces it probably wasn't anything good, "I'm going to hate this aren't I?"

Henry shrugged, "Probably, but we're still doing it."

Emma held the movie Hook out to him and pointed to the man on the front with the ridiculous curly hair, "and for the record Killian this is a perm."

Killian wrinkled his nose in disgust, "So everyone in this realm thinks I wear my hair like some bloody ponce?"

Emma shrugged, "Pretty much, now let's get started."

Henry grabbed another film out of his mother's hands, "We'll start with this one, the Disney version of Peter Pan it's probably the most well-known, and one of my favorites."

Emma put her hand on Killian's shoulder and gave it a gentle squeeze as she said, "and if you sit through all of them like a good boy, I promise we'll have your favorite desert later tonight."

Killian brightened immediately since he and Emma both knew his favorite dessert didn't involved any type of actual food. Killian arched an eyebrow at her, "Well, in that case you have a deal love."

Henry jumped up and down, "Awesome, I'll get the popcorn."

A few moments later they were ensconced on their new sofa with the movie playing on the magic box in front of them. Killian actually liked the beginning of the movie, "You know, Wendy, John, and Michael were a lot like that." He commented.

Emma said, "Yeah just wait."

The beginning of the movie went fairly well, the first time Tinkerbell came on Killian asked, "Why doesn't she speak English?"

Henry explained, "In all the movies about Peter and Tinkerbell, Tink only speaks fairy, and so Peter's the only one who really understands her."

Killian scratched his head, "Why?"

Henry thought for a moment, "I think it's because in the original play Tink was just a light from a flashlight or something, so she couldn't have any real lines and they just used music to make the sounds of her 'talking'."

Killian nodded his understanding as the film continued, Killian grumbled at the idea of Pan being a hero who brought children off to a land of joy and adventure, but nothing prepared him for the first view of himself. They got to the part where Peter had brought Wendy and the others to Neverland and Killian remarked, "Well, they got Mr. Smee fairly right." Then Mr. Smee went upstairs to greet 'the captain' and Killian gaped in shock, "Who the bloody hell is that supposed to be?" He asked in complete aghast.

Emma and Henry cracked up once again as the movie continued Killian asked, "so in these films of yours the crocodile is an actual crocodile?"

Henry said, "Yeah, Peter Pan cut your hand off and fed it to the croc."

Killian raised an eyebrow, "Why?"

Henry shrugged, "No one really knows, none of the movies, or books, or plays explain that part. There's a few made for t.v. movies and mini-series, or shows that go into it, but the original never gives a full explanation."

Killian grimaced, "That seems a bit ridiculous; doesn't it leave out a good portion of the story?"

Emma answered, "It does, but I think James Barry the original author did that on purpose. The whole reason he created Peter Pan in the first place was to show the wonders of imagination. By leaving that part of the story out everyone gets to imagine what happened that led up to you losing your hand."

Killian snorted, "Still seems ridiculous."

As the movie continued Killian made several comments, "I have never squealed like that whilst begging Smee for help." Henry and Emma laughed again as the screen version of Killian hid from the crocodile, as the movie went on Killian just rolled his eyes and muttered, "what an idiot." When they got to the part where Tiger Lily is captured Killian scowled again, "why am I supposedly a notorious pirate, but at the same time completely unable to use a sword properly against a ten year old boy?"

Henry said, "They never explain that either."

Finally they got to the end of the film and Killian complained, "I would never beg some snotty little brat for mercy, nor would I call myself a codfish." By this time Emma and Henry were practically in hysterics.

Killian was feeling incredibly annoyed, "I have never been so insulted in my entire life."

Emma picked up the live action play, "Oh that was nothing, wait until we get through the others."

As the play started Killian asked incredulously, "Why is Peter Pan played by a woman?"

Emma said, "It's something they've done since it first came out. If you have an actual ten year old boy in the part you have to constantly worry about him getting too big, about his voice changing and ruining his ability to sing, and of course about a child not being able to manage the challenges of that type of part so they always had Peter played by a slender woman."

Killian said, "Well that makes me feel somewhat better about the entire thing."

Killian did look a bit brighter until they got to the part where Wendy is sitting in the nursery telling Michael and John pirate stories. As the character on the screen spoke Killian asked, "Eyes that turn red whenever someone is killed? And exude poison? What a bunch of rubbish."

Emma said, "It's one of your most notorious traits, and it comes up later."

Killian rolled his eyes again, "Completely ridiculous."

Henry said, "I think they do it to make you scarier and more intimidating."

Killian snorted, "It would be better if these films showed me having actual skill with a sword as opposed to that red eye blather."

Emma and Henry shrugged and Killian went quiet again until they got to the part of the play with Hook's Tango, "Oh, you've got to be bloody kidding me." Henry and Emma erupted once more, Killian shook his head in disgust as the show continued, "This version is even worse than the last. The only thing he does right is slicing Peter, and tricking him into thinking the Indians won the fight."

By the time the play had ended Emma picked up the movie Hook Killian asked, "So this one was you favorite when you were young?"

Emma said, "yeah, it came out when I was about the same age Henry was when we first met, the people in the group home took us to see it, and I kept sneaking out to watch it over and over again. Practically had it memorized."

Killian sat up a little straighter, "well I must say I'm quiet thrilled to know you held me in such high regard Swan. Although, considering those catastrophes we just witnessed." He gestured to the two previous films, "I'm not sure I should be."

Emma and Henry both said, "You ain't seen nothing yet."

As the film started Killian was confused, but later on he said, "So in this one, Peter Pan is an adult?"

Emma said, "yes."

Killian asked, "And he has two children? Well, that's slightly closer to the truth than the others have gotten."

Then of course they got to the part where Peter Pan arrives in Neverland and 'Captain Hook' is seen for the first time. Killian groaned, "Why the bloody hell do I look like a sodding ponce in every single one of these blasted things?"

Emma and Henry snickered, "I guess they just want you to be someone everyone likes to see lose out in the end."

As the movie went to the scene where Captain Hook tries to shoot himself Killian said irritatingly, "That makes no bloody sense! The man goes to all this trouble to set-up this elaborate plan, he captures his enemy's children, and has his greatest foe exactly where he wants him and then is going to commit suicide?"

Emma said, "In this version you feel like the only thing you have left is the adventure of death."

Killian shook his head, "Then why not just off myself and be done with it?"

Emma said, "One last act of vengeance I suppose."

Killian leaned against her, "Well, I thank you greatly for pulling me away from that sort of life."

Emma rested her head on his shoulder, "Even if you hadn't turned yourself around, I don't think you would have even become like that." She gestured at the screen where the movie Hook was brainwashing Maggie and Jack into hating their parents.

Henry piped up, "You know it's kind of weird thinking about how Grandpa is Peter Pan's son, so technically Jack is supposed to be grandpa."

Killian actually snorted at this, "I suppose so, although the two of them have absolutely nothing in common."

After a while the film got to the scene were Hook's wig is knocked off and Killian's jaw hit the floor, "so in this film I'm not only an idiot, I'm some balding old nit!"

Emma and Henry couldn't hold in their laughter at that one either. Killian simply crossed his arms and huffed in offense, "You know Swan, I take it back, I don't think you having liked this movie so much as a child is any type of compliment in regards to myself." They finally got to the end and Killian said, "You know it seems to me, that in most of these films the crocodile is the one who ultimately wins. Which I am not too happy about by the way."

Emma said, "Yeah, I guess I never really thought about it before, but even though Peter beats you in every movie." Killian groaned in annoyance, "The crocodile's the one who always deals the death blow as it is."

As the movie ended Killian asked, "so why was that one your favorite?"

Emma thought for a minute and gave a sad smile, "Because Peter goes through all of that in order to save his children, he literally travels past the ends of the earth itself and saves his children. He really fights for them, he even faces his own fear and inadequacies to do rescue them. Growing up in the system, I never really had anyone around, and that idea of someone doing all that to save their family and find a way back to them permanently, to realize what he'd been missing out on and grab hold of it before it was too late. I guess that really appealed to me."

Killian bent over and kissed the top of her head, "you're not alone anymore love. You have a slew of people lining up to fight for you. And you know your lad and I will always be the first in that line."

Emma sighed happily, "I know that, but I didn't have that back then and that's why I liked this movie so much."

Killian held her tighter, "I understand that Love. And at least this film did depict something accurately."

Emma asked, "What?"

Killian took a deep breath, "Rufio was an irritating little snot, and he did indeed die by my hand."

Emma and Henry both jerked up and said with simultaneous incredulity, "RUFIO WAS REAL?!"

Killian took a deep breath, "Yes, he and Felix were Pan's right hand men with the lost boys. Rufio was the type of arrogant little sod who always itched for a fight, he would get in fights with the other boys or quietly goad them into fighting amongst each other simply for his own amusement. One day my men and I were about the island, and Rufio was traveling with a group of the lost boys, we were not particularly close to them, and we offered them no challenge, but Rufio attacked us simply because he wanted to. I saw him kill two of my men, and then he went for a third."

Killian shook his head, "The sailor's name was Wellington, and he had served with my brother and I for years, I wasn't going to stand there and watch as he was struck down, I drew my dagger and threw it. Rufio fell to the ground with it buried in his neck. Pan was furious with me for that, he stole the shadows from two more of my crew as punishment for my actions, but I had no choice."

Emma closed her eyes, "Killian, I'm sorry. If you want to stop."

Henry piped up, "Yeah, it's not a big deal."

Killian bit his lower lip, "no, it's alright, I don't mind. Besides, if memory serves me correctly I was promised my favorite desert."

Emma snorted at this as his eyebrows wrinkled, "So, did the real Rufio look anything like that?" gesturing to the screen.

Killian grinned at this, "Not even close, he was several years younger than that fellow on the magic box." Emma and Henry both snorted at his term, "His hair was a light brown, actually about the same as Henry's." Henry raised his eyebrows in surprise as Killian continued, "His eyes were a muddy sort of brown, and he was nowhere near as well built. Like several of Pan's boys, Rufio was scrawny, and slightly rat-faced."

Henry said, "Sounds like Peter Pettigrew."

Killian asked, "Who?"

Henry explained, "He's a character from the Harry Potter movies and books."

Killian shrugged, "If you say so."

Emma rolled her eyes, "You know, now that I'm back we really need to work on getting you better acquainted with the modern world."

Killian said, "I suppose it is about time for that." As Henry put in the last film.

As they watched Return to Neverland Killian asked, "So in this movie, Wendy has a daughter who doesn't believe?"

Emma said, "yeah, she's led a harder life than her mother, so she doesn't have the faith Wendy did."

Killian pushed, "Reminds me of someone I know."

Emma eyed him, "maybe."

As they movie continued Killian said, "So the crocodile is dead, but now there's a kraken?"

"It's an octopus." Henry corrected.

Killian snorted derisively, as the film continued. By this time Killian had gotten the hang of how he was portrayed, but he couldn't help commenting at the scene where Hook confronts Jane, "my mother looked absolutely nothing like that hideous monstrosity, and I assure you she never had a hook."

Emma said, "I never thought anyone would genuinely look like that."

The movie finally ended and they all got up and stretched as Killian said, "well, that was certainly enlightening."

Emma and Henry were both grinning teasingly at him as Emma asked, "So what'd ya think?"

Killian shook his head, "That was, without a doubt, the most ridiculous loud of utter nonsense I have ever seen come out of one of those blasted things." He said as he pointed to the television.

Emma and Henry laughed again at Killian's annoyance as Emma said, "Alright, next time we'll watch something you actually might like. Something that is not about you."

Killian nodded as he scratched the back of his head, "I'd appreciate that, but seeing all this has made me wonder. Are all the depictions of characters in this town that far off from the truth?"

Henry shook his head, "Not all of them, a lot of the stories are pretty close to being right. Like Grandma and Grandpa's story. That one is a lot like the truth, but the big differences are that in most of the versions in this realm grandma is this meek little girl who can't take care of herself for anything, and my other mom wants to kill grandma just because she thinks grandma is prettier than her."

Killian snorted, "now that is ridiculous."

Henry pushed, "Yeah, and in most of those stories, grandpa doesn't really do anything. He just shows up at the end and kisses grandma."

Killian grinned, ""Well that sounds like it would actually be interesting to see."

Emma said, "Auror and August's stories are pretty close to the truth as well. I think the one's that are the furthest off are the stories about Jack and the beanstalk, and probably Gold's story."

Killian arched an eyebrow, "the crocodile?"

Henry snorted, "Oh yeah, in those stories grandpa is still a rotten little imp, but he's not really scary, in fact he's usually played by a dwarf. Then, he gets defeated when the princess guests his true name. It's so ridiculous."

Killian's eyes danced with mirth, "Well in that case, I believe we should watch that next time."

Emma shrugged, "Fair enough, but we should throw some other stuff in after."

Henry brightened, "Oh, I know Star Wars, Killian, you'll love it. There's this character in the movies named Han Solo, he's a pirate, the captain of the fastest ship around, he's really mouthy, and in the end he falls in love with the princess."

Killian turned back to Henry, "I thought your mother said we would be watching a movie that wasn't about me, this Han Solo fellow sounds a great deal like myself."

Emma snorted as she threw in a pizza for dinner, "Well, the two of you do have a lot in common I'll admit, but he's not you, and Henry's right, I think you'll really like Star Wars a big part of those films is dealing with the concept of anyone being able to find redemption no matter how bad they've become."

Killian reached into the cold box and pulled out a bag of salad, he knew Emma didn't like the idea of Henry having nothing but pizza as a meal (especially because Regina always complained when they did). As Killian poured the salad into a bowl and went back to grab the cheese he said, "Well that certainly sounds like something I'd be interested in viewing."

As the pizza continued to cook Henry began rattling off an entire list of books and films he wanted to expose Killian to, and Emma kept throwing in things herself, "Definitely The Avengers, and Harry Potter, but we might want to wait on Planet of the Apes."

Henry said, "Pirates of the Caribbean all the way."

Emma nodded, "absolutely."

Killian listened to them bantering back and forth about their favorites, arguing various points and discussing certain characters. Killian threw his own questions, "what's a space ship? There are other people in this realm with special powers and they're called superheroes?"

As Emma pulled out the pizza she and Henry began to explain various concepts to him and Killian felt himself relax at the ease of the atmosphere. It had taken him many years and many heart-aches, but sitting here in this kitchen, eating pizza, and discussing things he only half understood (at the best of occasions) actually gave Killian a sense of comfort and normalcy.

Later that night, after Henry had gone to bed Killian and Emma were still up, Killian had Emma pressed against the wall to their bedroom and was kissing her passionately, "Now love, I fully expect you to keep that promise you made to me about my desert."

Emma giggled as Killian began to make his way down her neck, "Trust me pirate, I have no objection what so ever. Besides, I think you've more than earned it." Killian grinned wolfishly at her and then pulled her over to the bed, later that evening as Killian lay in bed with the woman he loved wrapped in his arms, as the boy who he cared for as his own slept in the bedroom down the hall Killian Jones (notorious Captain Hook) finally felt as though he were truly home.

Well what do you think? My first OUAT fic, I will prob do another chap or two of this.