It all started with an innocent trip to anime con.
Several hours of driving down the highway together in one small van. With the three of them, what could possibly go wrong? Everything. It was all good in the beginning, just talking while going down the road. Eventually Dave and Karkat fell asleep in the backseat, leaving Sollux to drive in silence. Very nice peaceful silence. Until Dave woke up.
"Nnnng, are we there yet…" he asked groggily.
"Does it look like we're there yet."
"Fuck off no need to be a smartass.."
"Says the one who's constantly a smartass little shit."
"You're an asshole."
"Aw, is someone gwumpy?~"
"I hope you choke on your own dick when you're sucking yourself off tonight."
"I'd rather not, that's what I have you and KK for."
"Will you just shut the fuck up!"
"You're the one who started talking in the first place, destroying my perfect peace."
"Watch me wreck your 'perfect peace' even fucking more…" Dave grumbled to himself.
There, sleeping on the seat next to him, was an innocent sleeping Karkat. He was slumped against the window, curled up into the seat. Ping. Perfect idea formed. Dave reached over and shook his shoulder. "Karkat, Karkat wake up, there's something important we need to do." he whispered harshly.
Karkat swatted his hand away and whined quietly. "Go 'way, 'm sleepin'..." "Oh good, you're awake," he whispered again, "no time to explain, but let's fuck."
"WAIT WHAT-" he was cut off when Dave unbuckled their seatbelts and yanked him forward into a kiss.
Sollux frowned. He heard suspicious whispering and then yelling. He looked back over his shoulder and nearly swerved the car into the next lane over. Those little shits were making out in the backseat! "What the fuck are you two doing?! Knock that shit off!"
Dave lifted his head up for a moment and snickered. "Why, are we disturbing your 'perfect peace'?"
"YES!"
Karkat finally caught on and asked, "Are we doing this to bother him?"
"Yep."
"Sweet." He pulled him back down and they went back to what they were doing.
He was going to murder them. Literally murder them and dump their bodies in a lake somewhere if THEY DIDN'T KEEP IT THE FUCK DOWN. "Will you two shut the fuck up! I'm trying to fucking DRIVE!"
Oh so they were ignoring him too. Perfect. Wonderful. Hey look they got even LOUDER. "GODDAMMIT KEEP IT DOWN, BONERS CAUSE ACCIDENTS YOU ASSHOLES!"
He heard muffled giggling in the back and twitched. That was it. Sollux pulled off the highway on the first exit ramp there was and stopped the car at the nearest possible area. Of course the two idiots in the back didn't notice anything. He twisted around and started wiggling into the backseat. "Move over bitches."
"Sollux, get out! There's not enough room back here for you!"
"Make room, it's punishment time."
"FUCK FUCK FUCK, I'M LEAVING, I'M OUT THE DOOR- HEY LET GO!"
"No. You two little shits are in for it."
Needless to say, they were very late in getting to their destination.