Title: Unconventional
Author: snarkysweetness
Rating: R
Pairing: August/Emma/Neal
Summary: Not all happy endings are conventional.
Warnings: If OT3's are not your thing, I would recommend not reading. Also there's some mild sexiness.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Author's Notes: I would be really happy if these three were endgame, NGL. This is just some stupid, adorable thing I wanted to write to ruin my wife with.

Emma closed her eyes with a small smile as Neal kissed his way up her growing belly. He'd been neglecting shaving this week and the slight scratch of his stubble tickled her skin. She ran her hands through his hair lazily, ready to doze off. He began humming against her skin, sending vibrations up her spine, and she giggled.

"Stop, I'm tired," she whined, pushing him away.

"Sorry," he said, but he didn't sound sorry.

"I'm sure," she replied as their bedroom door opened. Emma glanced up with a smile before pulling back the covers. "Hello, handsome."

"Hello, gorgeous. Miss me?" August asked as he leaned down for a kiss. Emma grasped his face with her hands and returned the kiss eagerly. They broke apart after a moment and he kissed her forehead, "I'll take that as a 'yes'."

She smirked as he slid into bed.

"Henry got to sleep okay?" Neal asked as he stood to slip off his shirt and cut the lights.

"Yeah, he's out for the count."

"Is he okay? It usually doesn't take this long for you to read him a story," Emma asked. August leaned on his side so he could watch Emma and rest a hand on her stomach. He rubbed it lightly before placing a small kiss over her belly button with a grin.

"He wanted to talk about what color to paint the baby's room, he even had paint swatches. He made a drawing for the crib he and my father are building and everything."

She shook her head.

"He's amazing." Henry was a lot like his father, but he also reminded her a lot of August; imaginative, cunning, and a smart-ass, though, the last one was a trait their entire family seemed to share.

"Well, that's because he's my son," Neal teased, joining them in bed. Emma rolled her eyes and hoped they weren't going to start in on this again. They never meant it, of course, biology didn't really matter, but it didn't stop them from being assholes and goading one another about whose baby this was.

"Don't sperm eventually die off after three-hundred years?"

"Can puppets even make children?"

And it went on and on.

Truth was, they didn't know and none of them cared; they all loved one another and they were a family. No one really understood that, but they could all go fuck themselves; Henry was happy, she was happy, and that was that.

Though, she suspected she knew exactly which one of them was the father, but she'd never tell them.

"Uh huh, that's nice," August replied half-heartedly as he kissed Emma's neck. She groaned, conflicted. On the one hand…sex. On the other, she was seven months pregnant and exhausted. August didn't mind if she fell asleep halfway through but Neal would spend the whole next day pouting.

"Not tonight-I mean it!" She chuckled when August kept kissing his way across her shoulders.

"But I want you; pregnancy is really sexy on you and I want to enjoy it while I can," he whined. She resisted the urge to roll her eyes. She'd made it very clear this was never happening again, two kids were more than enough for her, and she already had these two morons to deal with.

"How about the two of you fuck each other and I'll just watch until I fall asleep?" Emma offered with a small pout. She was too exhausted to participate, but she always enjoyed a good show.

"I'm too tired," Neal mumbled, pulling the covers over his head while August snorted.

"I don't want some asshole that's going to grunt the whole time, I want you," August murmured, placing small kisses along her jawline until he reached her lips. As if to protest, Neal gave a small grunt, or maybe it was a snore, and Emma ignored him.

"You always want me," Emma reminded with a slight tone of amusement. He smirked and cupped her tender breasts before placing a light, lingering kiss on her lips.

"I know and I blame you for that." He kissed her again and this time it was the kind of kiss that left you breathless. "You're so fucking sexy and perfect and you made me fall in love with you; so much so that I agreed to put up with him for the rest of my life."

"I forced you to fall in love with me?" She asked, toying with the hair on his chest as he hovered over her. She may not have been in the mood five minutes ago, but as he stroked her overly sensitive areolas, heat began to pool in her center.

"Yes," he breathed onto her neck as he kissed his way down her throat. He slowly ran his hands up her torso, taking her shirt as he went. Emma bit her lower lip, withholding a moan as she sat up a bit to watch him.

"And you don't love Neal? You just 'put up with him'?"

"Not like I love you," August huffed, taking a nipple into his mouth. An involuntary gasp escaped her as she clutched his hair.

"So you two just have sex with each other when I'm not around because…" she trailed off.

"We get bored." He moved his mouth to her other breast and she sighed in contentment.

"You're a horrible liar," she muttered, needing to have the last word.

"Noted," he replied as he slowly trailed his fingers down her body before dipping them between her legs. She leaned into his touch and whispered his name as he skillfully went to work. She really did love him. He was a generous lover who knew she'd most likely fall asleep when this was over and he wouldn't mind that he'd get nothing out of this; he was just happy to please her.

"Why does he get it more than I do?" Neal complained, half-asleep, as August rolled off of Emma and shook the bed.

"Because I'm not lazy like you are."

"Love you too, man," Neal muttered, pulling Emma against him before he went back to snoring contently. Emma linked her fingers with August's as he snuggled against her, resting his free hand over her belly while pressing his lips to her forehead.

"I love you, too, you know."

"More than Neal?" August teased.

"Oh, I totally love you more than Neal loves you," Emma quipped with a small smile before a yawn took over. August chuckled and gave her hand a small squeeze before burying his face in her hair.

"I love you, too, Princess."