Chapter 1: THE BEGINNING
Hello people! This is eak60, and I'm bringing you a story called Happily Grim. This is my first fanfic, so don't hate me if I'm not as good as some more experienced writers, JUST GIVE ME A CHANCE, I'M NEW, DON'T HASTLE ME! *rolls up in fetal position* MAKE THE VOICES STOP! … Anyways, if you don't like it or have suggestions then write a review or P.M. me, so I can improve my writing for the benefit of all the readers (which is probably like 2 :P).
OH! Before I forget THE F***INK DISCLAMER! I don't own NOTHING except Dylan, George, and Henry. Rylee belongs to my friend.
So, without further ado, here it is. I hope you like it :D!
UPDATE: 9-25-12: I went through and added details and stuff because the original SUCKED
"I've got you now!" I said as I used my death trap spell.
"Yeah, right!" my friend Rylee responded, along with and elemental blade. We were dueling each other, and we were both in the process of setting up charms and preparing for a final blow. I decided I had had enough traps up, so I unleashed my Skeletal Pirate spell. A skeleton with a cutlass sword in his hand emerged in the middle of the arena. It charged Rylee and slashed her, her health globe depleting about ¾ of the way.
"Nice try", said Rylee as she cast her Hydra spell. I braced myself as the three headed dragon spat at me, knocking me down.
"Good job Dylan, but you still can't beat this!" Rylee said while doing poses.
"Well ask me when I'm a legendary!" I responded.
"Hey, it was your idea to duel", the blonde scorcer said.
"So?" I said, "You couldn't have gone easy on me?"
"I didn't use tower shield or weakness like you asked", Rylee replied, crossing her arms as a cocky grin formed on her face.
"Well, I DO hate those spells!" I said, grimacing at the thought of all the time spent setting up charms and traps gone to waste. "Anyways, wanna go to my place?"
"Sure", Rylee replied as I teleported to my zafarian mini-mansion, the sun palace. She soon teleported to me, and I hopped on my mount, Henry the Hornercerus. "Hey, Horny Henry!" Rylee said when she saw the 6 foot tall, three horned behemoth. The Hornercerus snorted in response to the somewhat insulting but funny nickname the scorcer had given him.
"Hey", I said jokingly, "He doesn't like it when you call him that, even though it is hilarious!"
"Well, I try!" Rylee complimented herself as we walked along the dirt path leading to one of my favorite places the vast property had to offer.
"You succeed!" I exclaimed as we walked into the cave that was the indoor sanctuary that was my pet gorilla's home.
"Hey, George!" My face lit up as I laid my eyes on the gigantic primate.
"Ooooohh!" the black haired animal screeched as he saw that I had entered the cave.
"Come here, big guy!" I yelled as the gorilla bounded happily towards me.
"Who's a good boy? Who's a good boy!?" I said while scratching the beast's stomach. I plucked a ripe banana off of a nearby tree and fed it to my pet.
After George the gorilla inhaled the yellow fruit, he tilted his head slightly to see his good friend, the hornercerus waiting to play. The gorilla jumped at the bigger animal and they began to wrestle, leaving Rylee and I to do our own thing.
"Let's go inside", the balance wizard suggested. "Is anyone home?"
"No, just us", I replied. My dad was a marine biologist, and he was really interested in the exotic species living in the Zafarian Ocean. That's why we moved out here, so he could take up his passion. Unfortunately, he couldn't find much work here, so most of the time he had to commute to Celestia. My mom, on the other hand, had passed away due to a disease exclusive to Zafaria that is rare and highly fatal to wizards.
"So, can I get you anything?" I asked Rylee as we walked into the Sun Palace. "A snack, a soda, some porn?"
"Shut up, Dylan", Rylee said through her laughter. "But actually some chips would be great."
"Okay, be right back", I said as I went to get the chips. I grabbed a bag of Wiz-Crisps out of the pantry and poured it into a bowl. When I took it back to the living room I could see that Rylee had made herself comfortable on the couch and had the TV turned on. There were two women on the screen and they were-
"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU WATCHING?!" I screamed.
"Oh, just a soap opra", Rylee replied.
"Well why are those girls making out?"
"Well, Jason just dumped Stacy for Barbra, and Stacy started crying, so Haley tried to comfort her, and then it just… happened!"
"This show is sick!" I yelled. "Move over!"
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After the show was over, I decided to check my wiz mail. "Spam, spam, spam", I said while browsing through my inbox. "Ooh, what's this? Single Pyromancers waiting to get laid? Sweet!"
"You're sick!" Rylee screamed.
"I was just kidding, jeez!" I said. "Oh, but really, here's something from my fan club in Krokotopia! They want to throw me a party for saving the manders!"
"Hey, Krokopatra would have kicked your ass if it wasn't for me! I did all the work!" Rylee scolded.
"Yeah, but, but Itook all the credit!" I replied.
"And that's why I hate you!" the blonde said smugly.
"Alright, if you hate me so much, then stop eating my food and GO HOME YOU LAZY GOOD FOR NOTHING SACK!"
"Come on! I can't hate you and eat your food?"
"Not really."
"Fine," the scorcer said. "I don't hate you."
"Good, now give me a kiss," I said as I puckered my lips. That comment got me a slap in the face.
"Oh, now I'm reconsidering letting you stay here," I said in response to the slap.
"Shut up and read your wiz-mail."
"Bossy, much?"
Rylee, ignoring the comment, turned her attention to the computer screen and read for a while, her eyebrows turning up at one point.
"Look," she started to point out. "It says that you can bring your GIRLFRIEND, too!"
"THOSE DOUCHE BAGS!" I yelled into the screen. "SHE IS NOT MY GIRLFRIEND!"
But Rylee didn't even care. She was too busy going off on a girly tangent- "Ooh! I'm going to Krokotopia! Little ole me! What am I going to wear?!"
"Girls these days", I commented sarcastically.
"Necromancers these days", Rylee replied. "Prude and sarcastic, I get, but how did they get so damn funny?"
"My specialty!"